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The most withering movie review ever

Zero stars.

Richard Gere, Halle Berry, Hugh Jackman are involved.

by Not Pauline Kael reply 3001/28/2013

Wow. Now I actually want to see it...

by Not Pauline Kael reply 101/27/2013

Loved this line:

Academy Award winner Halle Berry no longer can cite "Catwoman" as the low point of her career.

by Not Pauline Kael reply 201/27/2013

OP, you also forgot Naomi Watts, Kate Winslet, Emma Stone, Anna Faris, Liev Schreiber, Dennis Quaid, Uma Thurman and quite a few more big names are also in this piece of crap.

Agenda much? I think so.

by Not Pauline Kael reply 301/27/2013

For an Oscar-winning actress Halle Berry does not seem to have a film career any more, rather like J-Lo who did not even win one. Halle now seems to accept anything she is offered, ditto Cuba Gooding ...

by Not Pauline Kael reply 401/27/2013

Piss off R3. I picked out a few names, and of course this is DL so it made sense to put the names of stars most talked about here.

by Not Pauline Kael reply 501/27/2013

OMG, OP a ZERO.

A straight to rental with an awarded winning cast. Like the shit out of Chris Pratt's ass, this appears to be an anal expulsive scat fantasy.

by Not Pauline Kael reply 601/27/2013

That was a belabored article. I'm sure the movie is execrable, but Roeper isn't inspiring very much confidence either...

by Not Pauline Kael reply 701/27/2013

Ebert is a real shit connoisseur, so this must be really bad. But, I'll never believe it is worse than "I Heart Huckabees.'

by Not Pauline Kael reply 801/27/2013

That's not just "withering", that's a full-on flamethrower attack. How the hell DID all those actors get into this thing? Are they ALL that hard-up for money? Maybe Ebert's right - blackmail.

by Not Pauline Kael reply 1001/27/2013

The review was written by Richard Roeper, not Roger Ebert.

by Not Pauline Kael reply 1101/27/2013

R8, you're an idiot. Seriously.

by Not Pauline Kael reply 1201/27/2013

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Not Pauline Kael reply 1401/27/2013

I went. Walked out after an hour. Got a refund.

by Not Pauline Kael reply 1501/27/2013

Razzie noms for everyone or just a select lucky few?

Why do studios even put Halle Berry in films anymore? She hasn't had a hit film since her small supporting role in X-men 3. I count 7 flops, direct to dvd films, or disappointments since the X-men films.

by Not Pauline Kael reply 1601/27/2013

It's not a real movie, it's a collection of small short films. No one made any money. Some actors are only in it for a scene or two. It cost $6 million to make.

by Not Pauline Kael reply 1701/27/2013

Did all these stars know that this was going to be released, or did they think they were doing a private "video greeting card" for George Clooney's Christmas party?

by Not Pauline Kael reply 1801/27/2013

This movie should give us shower nozzle masturbation material for WEEKS!

by Not Pauline Kael reply 1901/27/2013

The most withering review I recall is Anthony Lane's on Star Wars episode III.

Speaking of Yoda, Lane says:

"Also, while we’re here, what’s with the screwy syntax? Deepest mind in the galaxy, apparently, and you still express yourself like a day-tripper with a dog-eared phrase book. “I hope right you are.” Break me a fucking give."

by Not Pauline Kael reply 2001/27/2013

bump it with a trumpet!

by Not Pauline Kael reply 2101/28/2013

I never found Lane's withering reviews very funny--he just seemed like he was being bitchy for the sake of being bitchy.

Now Pauline Kael's withering reviews used to just crack me up. Her reviews for "Willow," "Places in the Heart" and particularly "Heartbreak Ridge" ("It is a well-known fact that many people have very strong feelings about anal sex, but it's unlikely a film has been made about those feelings before now") are classics.

by Not Pauline Kael reply 2201/28/2013

That Lane review was funny, R25 Break me a fucking give.

by Not Pauline Kael reply 2301/28/2013

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Not Pauline Kael reply 2401/28/2013

R24, you're a ridiculous piece of shit. I hope you come through severe cancer with the kind of intelligence and grace Ebert has.

And as has been said a few times here, Ebert DID NOT write this review. It is indeed hosted on his website, but the review was written by Richard Roeper, his old "At The Movies" co host.

by Not Pauline Kael reply 2501/28/2013

Are these people in show business?

by Not Pauline Kael reply 2701/28/2013

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Not Pauline Kael reply 2801/28/2013

r26, so, what's your point?

by Not Pauline Kael reply 2901/28/2013

R26, look at all the hatred pouring from your fingers. Calm down.

by Not Pauline Kael reply 3001/28/2013
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