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At what point in your life did you gain confidence?

I'm still working on building up my self-esteem. I'm currently 23 years old. Although my self-esteem am better than it was between 16-20, it still need work. How about you?

by Anonymousreply 2704/07/2013

I had spent my entire adulthood in the financial wilderness after ruining my credit with a college Amex card. When I turned 40, I regained access to consumer credit. Suddenly I had a clean record, could charge whatever I wanted and had the income to pay it off. To coin a phrase, it gets better.

by Anonymousreply 101/25/2013

I don't know if I'd call it "gaining confidence", but as I was going though my 30s, I began to realize what is really important and worth worrying about - and what isn't.

by Anonymousreply 201/25/2013

Around 9th grade when I started realizing why people do the things they do and how little they understand about me and my world. After you really understand that, walking by most people is like walking by a barking dog. Yeah, you hear it and you may notice whether it's chained up or not, but you really don't care what it thinks because, well, it's a dog.

by Anonymousreply 301/25/2013

it's called time. not to be condescending but at 23 you're just a sapling. wait until you get your feet properly planted underneath you. your self-esteem is related to you self-assuredness and that can only come with experience and that can only come with time. for now, i'll say dont be afraid to make mistakes but do learn from them. god favors the bold but chance favors the well-prepared.

by Anonymousreply 401/25/2013

When I realized that strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers.

by Anonymousreply 501/25/2013

First big step was when I wennt travelling and working overseas in my early 20s. No one knew me as the shy person, so I think it gave me a bit of freedom to try act in a different manner.

Coming out helped a LOT. Less to hide and be shy about.

The next was after my remaining parent died. The worst had happened,and I survived, so what else was I worried about?

Now at 37,I am just starting to feel more confident at work.

by Anonymousreply 601/25/2013

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 701/25/2013

In high school, like R3.

by Anonymousreply 801/25/2013

35. Sad i know

by Anonymousreply 901/25/2013

For me, confidence has always come and gone. It's always been an up and down thing depending on what's going on in my life. I can have confidence for several months or even a few years and then it will be gone for months or years before it comes back.

by Anonymousreply 1001/25/2013

Completely agree with R10. It's the same with me, it depends on what is going on in my life.

by Anonymousreply 1101/25/2013

OP, you have to turn 30 before asking such a question. 23 is a fetus.

by Anonymousreply 1201/25/2013

I became "confident" when I realized (late) that fake confidence is the same as real confidence. That is "fake it till you make it". I had to realize that everybody figures things out as they go along, often while being paid a very nice salary while they learn their job!

by Anonymousreply 1301/25/2013

Late 20s. I was too new in my career and too cash-strapped in my early 20s to feel truly secure. Plus, I was dating around and acting slutty, and while that's fun, it made me feel less confident rather than more confident.

by Anonymousreply 1401/25/2013

In college, had a really supportive mentor / professor who showed me that I was as smart and talented as everyone else, and taught me to believe that I could do anything. I hadn't really heard that from anyone before.

Throughout college, earnest praise and regard from peers and people I respected increased my self confidence.

by Anonymousreply 1501/25/2013

When I found love and not just a fuck.

by Anonymousreply 1601/25/2013

Around my mid 20s I started to feel more confident in myself, sexuality and abilities. I started a new job around then that I was quite good at (and still are doing 10 years later) which helped a lot. Around this time I also started not to care about what others though about me and lived my life how I wanted.

by Anonymousreply 1701/26/2013

I felt really confident when I was about 24 right out of college. Maybe cocky. But I went to a really well known school so just going there was like I had all the prestige of them with me in my back pocket. My family was not rich, it was a big deal to get in based on merit.

I get that now when I hear this person went to this school or that school. Impression are projected onto you good or bad just by association.

by Anonymousreply 1801/26/2013

Why in the world is a 23 year old spending their time, and in this case their money posting on an old lady website like this? If you want self confidence go out and experience the world, make your mistakes, learn from them. Do the wrong thing, learn empathy. Do the right thing, try to repeat your actions, but for fucks sake you're wasting your time asking us bitter old queens to live your sad little life for you.

by Anonymousreply 1901/26/2013

29, then lost it... got it back at 33, lost it... got it back.....

by Anonymousreply 2001/26/2013

Sorry R19, the OP is doing what we older gays could not when we were young. He is sampling opinions. This is a safe place to do that without getting physically hurt. Emotionally, not so much.

by Anonymousreply 2101/26/2013

after 3 fingers went to 5, now I can take a whole fist! 19 year old

by Anonymousreply 2201/26/2013

Hopefully tomorrow.

by Anonymousreply 2301/26/2013

op...listen to Maria....

by Anonymousreply 2401/26/2013

bump for all the depressed singles to learn from..

by Anonymousreply 2504/07/2013

Still waiting.

by Anonymousreply 2604/07/2013

Age 3. It's been beaten out of me in increments ever since. I'm 49.

by Anonymousreply 2704/07/2013
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