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What's the Worst Thing that Ever Happened to You on an Airplane

I've been in a couple of rough landing but, knock wood, it's only been the other passengers who have really pissed me off.

by Anonymousreply 17506/06/2013

Lou the Stew, please weigh in.

by Anonymousreply 101/22/2013

"Batman and Robin" as the in-flight movie.

by Anonymousreply 201/22/2013

I had to sit next to a hissing eldergay who stared at me the whole flight!!!!

by Anonymousreply 301/22/2013

A drunk man coming up the aisle to deplane fell on top of me on a Southwest flight years ago

by Anonymousreply 401/22/2013

Well, not too terrible in the grand scheme of things, but compared to the first three posts, it's a tragedy of immense proportions.

Since I travel quite a bit, I'm usually upgraded. On this recent two hour flight, though, the best I could do was an aisle seat in coach on a completely full flight. I'm no lightweight, nor was the guy in the window seat, so we were both relieved when nobody took the dreaded middle seat.

Then came our worst nightmare. The last person waddled onto the plane and headed directly toward us. A young woman who must have weighed 350 pounds, she was sweet and apologetic, but she smelled heavily of sweat and cheap perfume. As she overflowed into the two adjoining seats, Window Seat Guy was smashed into the wall and I had to sit sideways facing the aisle.

My mantra in situations like this is "This, too shall pass." But for the two-plus hours I had to sit with a hundred pounds of smelly flab all over me, I was not happy.

by Anonymousreply 501/22/2013

Something hit US!!!

by Anonymousreply 601/22/2013

I get airsickness. I never could figure it out, but when I had a colonoscopy for something unrelated, the dr said my intestines were like a roller coaster. Instead of three smooth turns, there were about a dozen twists and turns. Apparently, the movement of gas as well as trapping of gas will make you nauseous. So I've thrown up on a few flights.

The worst though, was when I wore a sweater on a plane trip. I was poor and the sweater came from an outlet. I don't know what it was made of, but I began to smell terribly on the plane. I'd taken a shower, but either the sweater had been dipped in some kind of chemical or the fabric was weird because there was a reaction with my skin and my underarms started pouring out very acrid sweat. It never happened before or since. It was so bad that people were holding their noses closed with their handkerchiefs. And I was a 95lb female, so it wasn't obesity or BO. I was so embarrassed I was crying.

I threw that sweater away as soon as I could change it.

by Anonymousreply 701/22/2013

One time the stewardess forgot to ask me if I wanted something to drink.

by Anonymousreply 801/22/2013

I was a passenger on a military helicopter flying over the Persian Gulf. A friend of the pilot was flying nearby in a jet fighter plane. As a joke, he decided to buzz us. The pilot saw his friend roaring at us but didn't think to mention it to the passengers. It sounded as if we were about to be hit by a missle fired from Iran, which was just a few miles away. It was terrifying.

by Anonymousreply 1001/22/2013

Hail shattered the outer windshield of the plan, causing the pilots to momentarily lose control as we dropped precipitously for about 10-15 seconds. That doesn't sound very long, unless you're in the plane that's dropping. They regained control and we returned to the airport.

On a small 10-seater puddle jumper from Chicago to Fort Wayne in the middle of a major thunderstorm. The plane was being tossed all over the place and even the pilot was looking scared. We landed safely and I found that the storm had been severe enough to cause significant flooding and to bring down trees and power lines. My rental car stalled on a flooded street on the way to the hotel.

by Anonymousreply 1101/22/2013

10 to 15 seconds on a plane can be a LONG time, R11. The first and last time I flew on on a 10-seater was from Spokane to Missoula. If you've ever flown that route, you know you basically go up over the Rocky Mountains and then down into Missoula. I was told it would be a jet. It wasn't. I was a wreck.

by Anonymousreply 1201/23/2013

R5 what a fucking doormat you are.

This is what you say to people who ooze into your space.

"Look, I paid for this seat and I need the entire seat. If you cannot find a way to fit into the seat you paid for, get off the fucking plane."

Trust me it works, they might leave in tears but your life will be better off.

by Anonymousreply 1301/23/2013

Chicago to Cleveland crying baby. Thankfully only a 50 minute flight.

by Anonymousreply 1401/23/2013

Our flight was cancelled due to a fatal accident from the weather. They gave us vouchers for overnight at a hotel. The next day we flew home and there was insane turbulence the whole way.

by Anonymousreply 1501/23/2013

Once, 25 years ago, I had to sit next to a person on a plane. It was ghastly.

by Anonymousreply 1601/23/2013

R5, something very similar happened to me on a flight from Minneapolis to Jakarta. I had the middle seat and my son, who was 12 at the time, had the window. I thought we were safe but at the last minute a woman, who had to have been 6'2" and a good 400 lbs. came lumbering down the aisle and sat next to me in the aisle seat forcing me to crush my son into the wall. Thank god, the flight ended up not being full so the fat lady could move to her own aisle. I don't know what we would have done on a trip that long sitting like that.

by Anonymousreply 1701/23/2013

Today I Learned: there is a direct flight between Minneapolis and Jakarta.

by Anonymousreply 1801/23/2013

Flying a puddle jumper in Greece. An engine failed just as we were lifting off. Fortunately, were probably no more than 30 feet off the ground.

by Anonymousreply 1901/23/2013

A 20-seater puddle jumper from Hartford, CT to JFK in a raging thunderstorm at 6am. It was only about a 40 minute flight, but it felt like forever. Rain hitting the plane and thunder right outside the windows. When we landed, I was so relieved when we landed I wanted to hug the pilot.

Years ago, a flight from London to NYC. We hit turbulence that was frightening, right in the middle of the Atlantic. Never before or since have I experienced turbulence that violent - it felt like the plane was going to shake apart. I felt like crying I was so scared. I still think of that flight every time I get on a plane, and pray it won't happen again.

by Anonymousreply 2001/23/2013

After a rough flight over the Sierra mountains the plane I was in came in for landing. We were maybe 50 ft above the landing strip when a gust of wind hit the underside of the plane and turned it almost verticle. The pilots were able to get the plane under control quickly, but for those few seconds all I could see was the news footage of that plane crash where the plane cartweeled thru the airport.

by Anonymousreply 2101/23/2013

My very first plane ride was in a 4 prop plane from Kentucky to Pa back in '64. I was going home for some leave after finishing basic training in Ft. Knox. I was sitting on the wing watching the two propellers doing their thing when the one closer to the window started to smoke and then sputter and finally stopped altogether. I was petrified. The pilot came on the PA system and told us what was happening and that we should not panic because we had enough power to go the distance and we did.

Strangely enough it did not put me off any more plane rides. Well, being in the Army, I really had no other choice and I traveled to lands far, far away with no further problems.

Coming back from Vietnam in '66, I had a flight attendant cover me in hot coffee when we hit some turbulence and she spilled the several cups she was carrying on a tray right in my lap. The flight was a long one and I had no other pants to replace the ruined ones. Very uncomfortable.

by Anonymousreply 2201/23/2013

Kid in seat directly in front of us who cried, who yammered, who hit the seat etc. the entire length of a flight from Rome back to the states.

by Anonymousreply 2301/23/2013

You all need me on your flight. I'm the white knuckle flyer who actually controls the plane by remote control. As long as I have both hands gripping the armrests on either side, and concentrate really hard, we are fine. But when I reach for a beverage or go to the restroom I put all our lives in danger.

by Anonymousreply 2401/23/2013

[quote]a flight from Minneapolis to Jakarta.


by Anonymousreply 2501/23/2013

Long story, but will try to shorten.

Belly landing in Orlando back when Regan was president. These were the days when you could smoke on a plane.

I was in first class. The flight attendants started at the front asking men something. They all said no or shook their heads no. When she got to me she said they needed volunteers to go down the slide first to push people away from the slide after they came down. She explained that once people evacuate, they then think about their carry-ons or purses and will try to go back up the slide. Also, the attendant told me to look out for alligators (remember this is Orlando and there were lakes all over the airport grounds including between runways.

The woman beside me was terrified. She had had dental work and was afraid the landing would loosen the stitches. I told her that would be the least of her worries.

At any rate, we did not have to use the slides. The woman beside me asked me to stay with her. She called her husband on a cell phone (quite rare at the time). While waiting for her husband she made other calls. She told me she was going to DC to meet with Regan and he was sending a plane for her. She said I was welcome to go with her. I declined thinking she was crazy.

The next day, I saw her on TV with Regan and his daughter Maureen. (The famous "pissed off" speech by Maureen).

The following Sunday the Washington Post Style section's main story with a full photo was of the woman. She was the new Republican National Chairperson.

About two weeks later, she sent me a very nice letter thanking me for helping her during this event.

One follow-up, I decided to wait and take the same flight 24 hours later. The oddest thing in the whole event was there was not one single mention in the newspaper or TV. I guess Disney did not want any unhappy or frightened guests to worry about their trips home.

The airline was Eastern.

Good Times, indeed!

by Anonymousreply 2601/23/2013

R26, you should edit the Wikipedia page about Orlando International to include this mishap, as there is no mention of it.

by Anonymousreply 2701/23/2013

Or was it at Sanford?

by Anonymousreply 2801/23/2013

The Maureen Reagan "pissed off speech" was in March 1987.

by Anonymousreply 2901/23/2013

The Republican National Committee chairperson in 1987 was Frank Fahrenkopf. Maureen Reagan served as co-chair during the last two years of his tenure, from 1987 to 1989. Lee Atwater came after Fahrenkopf.

I'm really not trying to be a psycho debunker; I'm truly fascinated by R26's story but want to help the pieces fit together.

by Anonymousreply 3001/23/2013

Is R26 trying to say that the woman *was* Maureen Reagan?

[quote]The next day, I saw her on TV with Regan and his daughter Maureen.

This sentence led me to understand otherwise.

by Anonymousreply 3101/23/2013

In 1976 I was on the Air France flight that was hijacked and sent to Entebbe in Uganda. I had been visiting my brother in Israel. It was my first time out of the U.S. and I was by myself and only 18. They held all Jews (including me) and the flight crew as hostages until the famous raid happened that saved most of us.

by Anonymousreply 3201/23/2013

Betty Heitman was co-chair in 1987 per Wikipedia. So I bet it was her.

by Anonymousreply 3301/23/2013

Evening flight from Boston to Chicago. I was dozing as we landed at O'Hare and as the wheels touched the ground, I snapped awake just in time to hear an elderly lady in the aisle seat vomit. I was in the window seat. When I went to the ladies room afterward, the girl who was sitting next to me was at the sink wiping off her pants. I woke up with stomach flu the next morning. I had never experienced projectile vomiting before.

by Anonymousreply 3401/23/2013

Why R25? It was on a NW flight from Minn. to Tokyo than onto Singapore than Jakarta.

What is it with DL that someone has to have a snit?

by Anonymousreply 3501/23/2013

R26, was this her?

R35, it's just odd that you didn't frame the anedcote as happening on the flight from MSP to Tokyo.

by Anonymousreply 3601/23/2013

What does it matter R36? It's still a fucking long flight.

by Anonymousreply 3701/23/2013

R35, shut-ins who never leave their parents' basement have a hard time believing that other people actually travel to foreign countries and such. It's the same phenomenon that leads some DL posters to squawk "EST!" over the most mundane anecdotes.

by Anonymousreply 3801/23/2013

Sat next to the nanny of a year-old kid who was flying with his family out of Heathrow. Nanny was a nice girl. I thought it would be nice to chat with her, even though she had the baby, his parents were directly behind.

Guess the kid's mother felt that since she was paying for the Nanny's ticket, she didn't have to soothe her kid who screamed and cried for his mother for nearly 8 hours straight. You could tell there was something a bit "off" about the kid beyond a child just needing his mother--he could not be soothed. Either way, mom just sat there, 1 row behind. Never lifted a finger. Never looked his way. And I mean the kid was literally screaming. Until he kind of passed out.

Longest fucking flight of my life.

by Anonymousreply 4001/23/2013

DC National to Chicago. Very visibly drunk guy carrying a big white box full of Chesapeake Bay crabs barrels up to the ticket counter ignoring the boarding line and demands to be put on the plane. And you know what? The ticket agent with the security guy standing there puts him on the plane. This is one of the few visceral "This will not end well." realizations I've ever experienced.

The rest of us board. He causes some type of commotion up front and the flight attendant manages to calm him and get him seated again. It has to do with the box of crabs which had to be stowed in the overhead. Plane backs out of the gate and he becomes disruptive again by getting up to check on the crabs. He refuses to sit back down and he becomes testy, so we're stopped for a while as the flight attendants surround him. Plane goes back to gate and he and his crabs are escorted off. By the time we finally leave, the flight has been delayed over an hour since we lost our place in the take off queue. Quite a few people missed connecting flights.

by Anonymousreply 4101/23/2013

If at all possible, I prefer to take red-eye flights because there are often no children at all or obnoxious tourists. Red-eye flight passengers tend to be experienced travelers - business people, etc. who just sleep or read and stay quiet for the entire flight.

by Anonymousreply 4201/23/2013

I once flew from LA to NYC first class (upgrade) and sat next to Timothy Hutton. He had the worst body odor I have ever encountered. Seriously. It was like flying next to a puddle of dog shit. I've gone through bad turbulence, which terrifies me, and delayed flights, but an entire flight next to a hideous smell was the worst.

by Anonymousreply 4301/23/2013

Nothing real bad but took a flight from Puerto Vallarda to Guadalajara. The plane took off during a late summer monsoon. Was unable to even lift my head from the back of the seat. The stews never once got up the entire flight

by Anonymousreply 4401/23/2013

Flying in mountains over Tajikistan near the Afghan border in an Aeroflot in a thunderstorm during the Soviet-Afghan war. I couldn't stop throwing up. The Aeroflot stewardesses were banging on the bathroom foor for me to come out of the bathroom. They unlocked the door and loudly admonished me so I puked on their shoes. They threw me back in the bathroom til we landed and then heaved me out onto the tarmac.

by Anonymousreply 4501/23/2013

here's one from 94 in Orlando. I'm thinking these aren't all that rare.

by Anonymousreply 4601/23/2013

Forgot my link

by Anonymousreply 4701/23/2013

2007 at Orlando

by Anonymousreply 4801/23/2013

2009 at Orlando

by Anonymousreply 4901/23/2013

2012 at Orlando

by Anonymousreply 5001/23/2013

I looked at r50's link and it was terribly boring, so I think I'll skip the other links.

by Anonymousreply 5101/23/2013

Many years ago, I opted for taking a Bar Harbor Scareways prop plane from JFK to Bangor, Maine; usually, I'd take Delta jets connecting in Boston. They couldn't turn the heat OFF, so sauna-like conditions prevailed, and there was an odd, loud "chirping" noise, about which the FA said, "We're not certain what it is, but we don't think it's anything serious." Good times!

by Anonymousreply 5301/23/2013

I have a couple -

Midnight JetBlue flight new York to Seattle quite few years ago (post 9/11). With the tv and the hour of night the choices were infomercials or news channels. Unfortunately it was the evening the guy tried to set light to his shoes and got caught. The whole plane spent the rest of the trip staring at each other.

Then there was the prop plane in the snow storm - so bumpy my ice from my drink went down the back of the person in front of me, the ladies at the back couldn't help but scream and my light shatter over my head on landing. Caption an ooh fed at end "thank you for flying with us. We hope yore didn't scare you too much."

by Anonymousreply 5401/23/2013

I've flown quite a bit and really ever only ran into a little turbulence going PVD to Dallas.

Other than that the issues I've had have always been with the aircraft on the ground. For example, being unable to exit a jet, with all power turned off because some idiot had tipped a fuel truck on the tarmac.

Or missing a flight back home and re-booking on a Boston bound flight that was supposed to leave at 6PM. It didn't leave until nearly 1AM the next day.

by Anonymousreply 5501/23/2013

R52 -- I almost used "puddle jumper" in my post. I had thought it's still in use, to refer to any short-haul flight, although it does connote a prop plane pretty much, rather than a regional jet.

by Anonymousreply 5601/23/2013

OP, you just don't want to know. Trust me.

by Anonymousreply 5701/23/2013

I've think I've told this one before..

It was the 70s and I was waiting in line to check in for a SF/LA PSA flight. The planes had little smiley faces painted on them. All of a sudden the guy in front of me said, "Would you mind seating me first. I'm William Shatner."

The gate lady said "Sure Mr. Shatner" Then she turned to the girl next to her and said, "Who's William Shatner."

This was after Star Trek had gone off the air but was still on in reruns. There were only a few people at the gate area. Shatner went over and sat down by himself, put on his sunglasses, pulled up his trenchcoat collar, pulled down his little plaid worker cap, and covered his face with the New York Times.

And sure enough, there he was in the first seat, on the aisle, as the rest of us boarded. He made eye contact with everyone.

But nobody recognized him.

Poor thing.

And then there was the idea of flying with an obviously insecure actor who had made that Twilight Zone episode about going crazy on an airplane.

by Anonymousreply 5801/23/2013

r58 - your story reminded me of the time I sat next to Jose Feliciano on an airplane. He did his best to talk loudly about himself to the flight attendant and people nearby. If he could make a lot of eye contact with the passengers, I'm sure he would have. He was dying for lots of attention.

by Anonymousreply 5901/23/2013

This happened to me.

by Anonymousreply 6001/23/2013

I'm surprised no one recognized Captain Kirk.

Especially in the 70s.

by Anonymousreply 6101/23/2013

I remember you, Entebbe guy, from a previous similar thread.

I also seem to recall a guy who was on one of the Tenerife planes on that thread.

Me, a near miss in Miami where someone taxied a jet onto our runway as we were landing that led to a near miss go-around with a Piper Cub is about the worst. Oddly, it didn't phase me since I had spent a lot of time overcoming my fear of flying in the years previous.

by Anonymousreply 6201/23/2013

[quote]I had spent a lot of time overcoming my fear of flying in the years previous.

How'd you do that? I have a friend who hasn't stepped on a plane in 15 years. He has to take trains and boats.

by Anonymousreply 6301/23/2013

R32 wins, obviously.

by Anonymousreply 6401/23/2013

Wait, you were really on that flight, R32? They made a whole movie about that. Idi Amin. How horrifying. Is that on the level? Definitely wins the thread if it is.

by Anonymousreply 6501/23/2013

[quote]I'm surprised no one recognized Captain Kirk. Especially in the 70s.

I know, I thought it was odd, but of course I didn't see anyone else's reaction but my own. And I ignored him. It wasn't full and I didn't see anyone linger for an autograph.

by Anonymousreply 6601/23/2013

I choose the "beef"...

by Anonymousreply 6701/23/2013

OP sat next to me.

by Anonymousreply 6801/23/2013

R63, I recall reading a book called something like "Overcoming the Fear of Flying." it was very effective.

It explained how flight happens, like the Bernoulli effect.

It also had mental exercises and lots of statistics.

One statistic I recall at that time is that one had to fly every day on an American carrier for 198 years before being in an accident, and that wasn't necessarily a fatal one.

Recently I ran into that statistic updated; it's now 432 years.

Between that and making a note of all the planes in the air all the time (lots here in NYC) that didn't make any headlines did it.

by Anonymousreply 6901/23/2013

Three words: Full airsick bag.

by Anonymousreply 7001/23/2013

R65 actually two films were made about the event.

Raid on Entebbe, directed by Irvin Kershner (better known for Empire Strikes Back), and the made for TV film Victory at Entebbe.

It remains to this day the most audacious and successful hostage rescue mission ever undertaken.

by Anonymousreply 7101/23/2013

R63, there are 'classes' for people who are afraid of flying. I believe they are offered by certain airlines. DL fave - Whoopi Goldberg - refused to fly for years until she needed to go to London for Sister Act. She took a course with lectures and a ride in a simulation aircraft, then took a flight. She documented it on The View and it was quite interesting.

by Anonymousreply 7201/23/2013

I took my parents to Greece in the 1990's via an inaugural Lufthansa SFO-Frankfurt flight. The service was great and all went well until we started to land.

There was wind shear or something, so we had to circle several times. It was the roughest, scariest landing ever. We were seated above the wing and I saw sparks shoot all over the runway. The pilot and co-pilot greeted everyone as we deplaned. My Mom asked the pilot if we landed or crashed. Dad had to mention that he'd flown over Germany many times in 1944 but never landed. I paid for their tickets. There was a long, ugly delay at customs.

I did not speak to them for two days after we got to Athens.

by Anonymousreply 7301/23/2013

Years ago, I was flying a red eye from SFO to London Heathrow. When we were about 1/3 of the way over the Atlantic, the little graphic of the plane turned around on the flight information display and headed back to North America. I wondered if the display was malfunctioning because there was no announcement about the flight turning back. About 20-25 minutes later, a voice over the intercom asked if any doctors on the flight would identify themselves to a flight attendant.

Soon there was a small cluster of people standing in the aisle and bending over a passenger in a row about 5 rows up from mine. After awhile, it was obvious that the passenger had been left alone and was covered with a blanket.

We landed in Goose Bay, Labrador, and watched as paramedics boarded the plane and removed the motionless passenger to an ambulance. Quite a gruesome momento mori to kick off a vacation.

In Goose Bay, we sat in our seats for about two hours while the plane refueled and god knows what other tasks were carried out. With the lost flight time and long delay in Goose Bay, we were about five hours late arriving in London, spooked, super jet-lagged, and depressed.

The second-worst thing the happened to me on an airplane was when I was seated in the middle of a long row of economy seats and the woman on my left decided to change her baby's stinkbomb diaper right there on her tray table, rather than jostle her way out of our row and down the aisle to the toilet. The smell was putrid, and lingered for hours, even after she handed off the soiled diaper to the flight attendant. Disgusting!

by Anonymousreply 7401/23/2013

Lou here, R1. In my almost 30 years in the friendly skies I've been very lucky. My airline has on average 10 inflight fires, 10 deaths and 10 evacuations per year. I haven't even had to prep the cabin for an emergency landing.

In my first year I remember flying near Tulsa and there were tornadoes in the area. There was severe turbulence, flash lightening and the hail hitting the aircraft sounded like machine gun fire. I could see the two senior ladies on the back jumpseat of that 727 holding each other on approach and I really became frightened. We landed without incident but the 1st officer came out of the cockpit when we parked and said, "You're going to have to go on to Oklahoma City without me." We sat for about an hour to let the storm pass through and then continued on.

One time flying from Denver to L.A. we hit severe turbulence over the Rockies. We were picking up the meal service at the time and I was thrown flat on the ceiling and landed in a center seat (empty) on a 747. There was food all over the sidewalls and passengers and people were crying and holding hands thinking we were going to die. I called the captain and told him he better make an announcement to calm people down. He was surprised it was that rough in the back of the plane. Another time we made such a hard landing it knocked all the oxygen masks down on a 747.

I was deadheading (flying on company travel) out of Newark once and we were hit by lightening. I had just dozed off in the upper deck of a 747 and this loud bang startled me awake. I could see a bright flash even though my eyes were closed. And what was bizarre, all the passengers let out a similar "eh" sound at the same time.

Several years ago we were flying from San Francisco to Honolulu. We had to delay departure because a thunderstorm was so close to the airport it wasn't safe for the baggage handlers or fuelers to be on the tarmac. When we finally took off the lightening was flashing everywhere and I was terrified we were going to be hit. Luckily I was sitting next to another flight attendant who sensed my fear and she reassured me. The next day CNN showed footage of the rare electrical storm to hit the Bay Area.

Last year I was pass riding home in uniform and we had a rapid decompression. When the masks dropped down everyone in First Class looked at me with a "what do we do" look on their faces. I shouted "grab a mask and put it on". I heard the crew say the same thing over the p.a. in the back of the plane. It's odd how negative panic sets in and even though people have seen the safety demo numerous times they freeze and wait for direction. Similar stories from friends who have evacuated airplanes. We made an unscheduled landing but had to overnight to get the oxygen restocked. The captain said there was a leak in cargo and we had about 90 seconds to put on the masks before losing consciousness.

by Anonymousreply 7501/24/2013

Emergency landing, braced for impact, Eastern ATL to SJU, early 80's, due to several blown out tires in the landing gear. Since the aggravation happened during take-off, we had plenty of time to prepare. An hour before landing, all the lights came up and plenty of instructions were given. I was in my early 20's and was switched to one of the emergency exits to replace some less able-bodied lady.

As the middle emergency exit seat occupant my job would have been to help people onto the wing from the emergency door or block the way if there was fire outside. My window-seat partner's job would have been to open the exit door and jump out to help people from the ground, or help me block in case of a fire. This was before the incorporation of those lit emergency trails on the floor (created by an Air Ontario deadly accident where everyone survived the crash but many died in the resulting fire because they couldn't find exits in the dark. So our aisle-seat partner's job would have been to summon nearby passengers to the exit or in case of fire, you guessed it, block access to the fire with his ass as well.

We had a beautiful, extremely careful landing and the awaiting fire trucks that followed us were not even needed.

Then more than a decade later, on a Continental Newark to San Juan, we hit a jet stream and the plane shook violently and then dove. Lots of screaming. Food was being served and a lot of it went flying. I ended up with an entire tray of ice and a flight attendant on my lap after the conmotion. We also had a heart attack passenger as a result, but he there was a doctor on board who took care of that (he was conscious when he was taken off the plane hours later).

Interestingly, that last episode, though a much more frequent occurence, was scarier than the prepared, eerily quiet emergency landing.

by Anonymousreply 7601/24/2013

When I was 8 I managed to accidentally lock myself inside the plane's bathroom. This was years ago and their locks were really crappy (pun intended).

by Anonymousreply 7701/24/2013

Someone sitting in coach tried to use the First Class cabin, but I told the flight attendants who escorted her back behind the curtain. Some of you might find my actions petty; however, Blythe is one of those people who will take a mile if you give them an inch.

by Anonymousreply 7801/24/2013

An unscheduled stop in Scotland.

by Anonymousreply 7901/24/2013

Over the Thanksgiving holiday I was flying from Israel to Portugal and spent the entire flight in the bathroom as I had stuff coming out of both ends. As I was on the toilet with BAD diarrhea I was throwing up into the sink. There was so much vomit in the sink that I had to used paper towels to sop it up. I talked about it on my daytime show Anderson Live.

by Anonymousreply 8001/24/2013

I had to fly commercial once.

by Anonymousreply 8101/24/2013

Like a lot of people, sitting next to a hugely obese person. It was very, very uncomfortable.

by Anonymousreply 8201/24/2013

Struck by lightening between DFW and Austin.

by Anonymousreply 8301/24/2013

Some god-damn flight attendant put a stack of wire hangers on the seat next to mine while I was sleeping. Mother fuckers. They all got a nice little laugh at my expense. I am FAYE FUCKING DUNAWAY and all I ask for is a LITTLE FUCKING RESPECT.

by Anonymousreply 8401/24/2013

Horrible turbulence once many years ago. Oddly, I can't ever remember anymore where the flight was going. Anyway, the two flight attendants were doing drink service and all of a sudden the captain's voice over the speaker says, "Flight attendants take the first available seats immediately." The two FAs then calmly took open seats near them.

Then about 30 seconds later we started slamming all over the air. Some of the overhead compartments popped open, stuff was flying everywhere, and people started to scream. I remember just being in shock with horror thinking we may be crashing. I'm not even sure how long we were banging around the air, but it seemed like forever. Then just as quickly as it started, the turbulence stopped and the flight smoothed out.

At that point, the captain comes over the speaker and says, "Sorry about that folks but we hit a little turbulence." A little!?!?!?! Well, it was the perfect thing to say because everyone laughed and started saying it was more than just a little. Funny how that statement added humor and calmed everyone down. Still, I have been a nervous flyer ever since if we hit turbulence.

by Anonymousreply 8501/24/2013

any United Airlines flight ;-)

Aside from that, clear air turbulence so bad that I thought we hit something. Then we quickly dropped several thousand feet. Anything not buckled in was up on the ceiling and then back on the floor. People, drink carts, everything. I ended up 20 feet away on the floor after having gone through the flight deck door (this was before 911 and reinforced doors)

People then started screaming hysterically (and standing up to do it... I never understood that) while we made an announcement to sit down and buckle up. Every little bump got people screaming. Glass and debris everywhere, but when we told people to sit down and buckle up, they didn't argue with us like they usually did.

I've done 3 emergency evacuations, one involving fire. Those weren't so scary as all my training kicked in and I went into automatic mode. The only scary part of it were those people who just sat there when you told them to get out, and those that panicked in a negative way, making things more dangerous for everyone. I walked away from one of them with nothing more than bruises, but the First Officer was severely injured when the nose-gear collapsed and was pushed into the flight deck area.

by Anonymousreply 8601/24/2013

Huge nosedive on Bhutan Royal Airlines. Several minutes later the obviously angry and distressed pilot explained that he had to do it to avoid a collision with a plane from the Bangladesh Air Force.

by Anonymousreply 8701/24/2013

More turbulence...

1973 UTA/French Airlines flight from LAX to Papeete, Tahiti on a DC-10 with my mom when I was 11. At the time, doors falling off DC-10's and sucking passengers out was in the news. After dinner, Mom slipped me a Valium (she said it was Dramamine, but I got the truth later) and had me strapped into an empty, five-seat middle row for bedtime. I awoke on the tarmac in Tahiti to what looked like a chaotic war zone on the plane. There were hanging oxygen masks, broken dishes, open bins, and luggage strewn everywhere. My mother said that we'd flown through a lightening storm. I was pissed that I'd slept through it.

Mid 80's on my first transatlantic flight, PanAm (the shittiest airline) JFK-CDG. Was way in the back of the plane in the smoking section in an ancient 747 with my partner. There were a lot of empty seats and dinner was served on china with real silverware. Those were the days. Hit turbulence in the middle of meal service. I saw dishes and food hit the ceiling. The plane shook so hard that it looked like it was falling apart. I realized then that they are built to be very flexible. I helped the hot gay, French-speaking steward collect broken glass. My bf declared that he'd never fly again. HA! That resolution lasted about a week.

Last one. United, our local monopoly carrier, took over PanAm's Latin America routes after they (thankfully) went belly-up. SFO-LAX-Guatemala City-Costa Rica route was new for the United crew. 1992. Again, sitting in the back of a new 757 in the smoking section between LA and GC. Somewhere between Mexico and El Salvador there was severe turbulence.

Most of the plane was Guatemalans doing the whole rosary thing, which did not comfort me. In the row behind us was a redneck Canadian Dad and son from Saskatoon en route to a sport fishing event. Our FA, who'd been getting the four of us all drunk, strapped herself next to me, bummed a cig, and said "this is the part I don't like... I hate this route". My bf and I held hands, for all to see.

A squad of Guatemalan militia with heavy machine guns escorted us off for a three hour layover which was not scheduled. United held a delightful brunch buffet in our holding tank Guatemala City. All passengers and crew were interviewed extensively about other passengers and crew. No one outed my bf and I. We were nervous. It was absolutely the worst flight I'd ever encountered and that was on the ground. The intimidation was unreal. I wrote to United, DiFi, and the Guatemalan Embassy branch in SF. We ended up getting flight vouchers on UAL, which we used to go to Puerto Vallarta.

by Anonymousreply 8801/24/2013


The FA's should have made an announcement along the lines of: "We will commence complimentary beverage service for all coach passengers ... as soon as we finish our own drinks!"

by Anonymousreply 8901/24/2013

on a trans atlantic flight to the US, someone's sanitary towel had left its seat in some womans underpants and landed in the middle of the isle.

I was 12 years old the time and a number of women had gather around it commenting about how disgusting it was and someone needed to pick it up.

as i came back from the toilets my mother (in front of everyone) asked me whether it was mine - repeatedly. Despite the fact that she knew i had not started my period.

If I could have stabbed her I would have.

by Anonymousreply 9001/24/2013

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 9101/24/2013

What was the rationale they gave for the questioning, R88? They didn't believe the plane needed to land after severe turbulence and you were all spies?

by Anonymousreply 9201/24/2013

Received a terror threat while in flight. Was escorted by fighter jets until we landed. Flight was horribly turbulent and we had to stay in our seats for 5 hours.

by Anonymousreply 9301/24/2013

I was on a Southwest flight about 8 years ago during a storm and there was a fair amount of turbulence. The pilot got on the intercom and announced that the airport was closed due to the storm and we had to wait for it to reopen.

After circling the airport for awhile, he got back on the intercom and announced he was still waiting for the airport to reopen and we had enough fuel for 30 more minutes.

30 minutes went by and people started praying and acting nervous. 45 minutes later, he said we could finally land, which we did. I will never understand why he mentioned the 30 minutes left of fuel. A couple weeks later, I wrote a complaint letter to Southwest and they sent me a couple of free tickets.

by Anonymousreply 9401/24/2013

Flight in the late 80s from Kansas City to Chicago on United. Took off knowing we were heading into a thunderstorm. Lightning was flashing everywhere, the plane was bouncing all over the air. Luckily it was only about an hour or so and we flew out of the weather after about 30 minutes. But boy was that 30 minutes terrifying. I couldn't believe they knew we'd be going through that weather and they still took off.

by Anonymousreply 9501/24/2013

No stories about Courtney Love?

by Anonymousreply 9601/24/2013

I've had to fly a plane and land it.

by Anonymousreply 9701/24/2013

Skydiving plane. I was the last to leave. Every time they opened the door to let a jumper out the plane pitched and rolled and acted like it was stalling. I was so glad to get out I would rather take a chance in a parachute.

by Anonymousreply 9801/24/2013

Flying back from LV to NY. Gal boards, obviously drunk. Flight attendant offers her a drink. She orders several. I tell the Flight Attendant that she's drunk>don't serve her. She heeds my advice and the drunk gal smacks me.

by Anonymousreply 9901/24/2013

On a flight from Rome to New York, I got up to the restroom. I had to piss like a racehorse (all the champagne I had made me a little tipsy). While walking down the aisle toward the john, I almost tripped over some big burly asshole's foot because his leg was thoughtlessly stuck out right in the middle of the aisle. "Move your foot, asshole!" I snarled as I worked my way back to the restroom. I had to pee so bad, and it was a relief to see that the bathroom was unoccupied - most people were asleep, and the cabin lights were dimmed. I was in such a rush I didn't even bother to lock the door behind me. After I had finished, I washed my hands in the sink. Suddenly the door swung open and before I had a chance to react, someone threw a towel or blanket over my head. I got a glimpse of someone tall and powerfully built - but he covered my face before I could get a good look at him. An arm wrapped around my waist, a hand over my mouth as I struggled and tried to scream. I was then pinned against the bathroom wall by his massive frame and was helpless as I felt him undo my Walmart belt buckle and yank down my Puritan jeans. "L-let-let go of me you bast...". Before I could get the words out he banged my head against the wall. Stunned into submission, I was helpless as I heard that familiar and sickening sound of someone spitting in their hand. I felt something wet, warm and hard probe against my quivering buttocks when suddenly, there was a quick - and brutal THRUST into my mangarden!!! H-h-he RAPED me. He never uttered a sound, except to utter, "Say PLEASE, ASSHOLE!". I bore my ordeal in silence - I'd die from EMBARRASSMENT if anyone caught me, and I'd never get into the Christian college I had applied to (I wanted to major in scrapbooking). All I could hear was his heavy breathing over the whine of the 787 engines...a few minutes later, I felt him shudder and climax INSIDE ME...after he was, DONE, he kept me pressed against the wall for a while. Then he released me, pulled up his pants and left. Without a word. I quickly cleaned myself off and slunk back to my seat, not daring tell a soul about my violation...

I staggered back up the aisle toward my seat. Once again, the same guy with his big foot in the way! "Move your foot, asshole!" I whimpered. This time he answered, "Say PLEASE, ASSHOLE!". I quickly looked back, but it was too dark to make out his face, so I turned around and continued my somewhat painful journey back to my seat.

I should have given him my number...

by Anonymousreply 10001/24/2013

@r92, sorry about my bad, unclear writing. The stop in Guatemala City was planned and had nothing to do with the encountered turbulence. We were supposed to stop, not get off the plane for 30 minutes, and continue on to Costa Rica. Instead, we were held hostage with no explanation in Guatemala. It was chaos, and nobody knew what was going on.

United seemed to be aware of this possibility as they had a nice spread waiting for us at that airport, but we were not warned, and that set a four-hour delayed landing, which screwed up our itinerary. I got no response from the Guatemala counselate, a cursory "we'll look into it" response from the US, and free tix from United.

It looked like US Immigration might have been the problem, but having guns shoved in your face was disturbing. Really stupid of me to take us to gay bars in El Salvador, Costa Rica, and Panama. Always cops with guns looking everyone in the eye. Learned to carry passports and bribe money at all times. Flying home to SFO thru customs at Denver was just as bad. Got held up with questions about "illegal activity" in Denver and missed our connecting flight home. Times have changed, I guess. The partner is gone, so I fly alone now. Haven't been hassled lately.

by Anonymousreply 10101/24/2013

What's with the sudden popularity of terms like "gal" and phrases like "swing both ways"

by Anonymousreply 10201/24/2013

I was making some great time with a sweet young lady in-flight once. She pulled a gun on me, and then the pilot pulled a gun and shot out the control panel in the cockpit. The pilot had a parachute on and jumped out of the plane. I was pushed out the door, sans parachute, by this big brute named Jaws. It was awful. I was able to secure a parachute, mid-fall, but it was a horrible experience and I'd rather not discuss it.

by Anonymousreply 10301/24/2013

Most of the passengers and crew (the ones who ate fish) contracted food poisoning, and Captain Oveur tried to molest me.

by Anonymousreply 10401/24/2013

This thread was going so well until it got invaded by the fiction writers (Bond and porn) who think they're being so witty and clever. Let's hear more real life drama. Very interesting so far!

by Anonymousreply 10501/24/2013

I was seated next to a tranny on a puddle jumper from Chicago to Cincinnati. The plane was basically empty.It was a rreplacement flight. I enjoyed talking with her about the gay scene in downtown Cincinnati which I was visiting for the first time. But I can't shake the idea that whoever did the last minute seated decided "Let's put the queers together". On the other hand it turned out nicely.

by Anonymousreply 10601/24/2013

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 10701/24/2013

R107, was that a puddle jumper to Cincinnati by any chance?

by Anonymousreply 10801/24/2013

R94, you remind me of the fear of flying I acquired on my second flight.

On Allegheney (Air Agony) we sat delayed for 1/2 hour. The pilot came out to apologize:

"We have a disagreement. If the ground crew is wrong, we'll run out of fuel before we're there. If I'm wrong, well explode on landing."

I kid you not. A few minutes later, we took off with no further discussion of how the debate was resolved.

I was totally terrified.

by Anonymousreply 10901/24/2013

There are now airlines who don't reserve seat locations for passengers (and don't do lots of other things).

We fly business or first-class every time because we only fly from JFK to LAX and it's a long time in the air to be uncomfortable.

Sadly, I've had to fight-off four different people who, despite the fact that we have reserved seats, have either sat in my (reserved) window seat or plead some sort of problem (well, my boyfriend and I would like to sit together) was the strangest -- they'd obviously gotten middle-row seats 'cause they didn't reserve properly/on-time.

It's all about "I-Me-Mine."

However, I'm grateful I'm not one of the ones in close proximity to a screaming child or mega-puking air-sick person -- on cross-country flight.

by Anonymousreply 11001/24/2013

In the 90's I had a corporate event to attend in Palm Springs, and on the return trip for some reason they booked a flight for me to LA, when it would have been quicker to drive. It was really hot out, and we were in one of those little 20 person planes. We flew forward, yet clockwise at the same time during the entire flight, if that makes sense. First a kid threw up, then her sibling, then another sibling, then their mom, then someone else nearby, and so on, including me, because the smell was overwhelming, it was really hot, and the flight was nauseating. I think about 14 of us threw up on that flight. When it was over we all kind of felt like we bonded in a weird disgusting way. I've never had motion sickness before or since, and I'll go out of my way to avoid small planes.

by Anonymousreply 11101/24/2013

The pilot asked me if I liked to watch gladiator movies. (shudder)

by Anonymousreply 11201/24/2013

A semi-drunk jerk sitting in front of me kept passing gas and laughing. you couldn't hear it but, dear lord, it smelled so bad. Everytime he did it, i kicked his seat. Luckily it was a short flight, but as we were leaving I told him to shove a cork up his ass next time he flies. I wasn't sure if I could complain to a flight attendent but it was obnoxious to say the least.

by Anonymousreply 11301/24/2013

Just prior to 9/11, I arrived late for a Southwest flight to San Jose. It was a sold-out flight. I had to sit in the row, it's hard enough to fly with people on the other side looking at you, but the worst thing was I was seated next to a man too fat to fit into a regular seat. It was summer, I was wearing shorts and so was he. As I said, I was the last one on the plane, no other choice but to sit in 1/3 of the space meant for a human. Our legs were pressed together and I remember moving my leg it felt like a when you peel apart a fruit roll-up. Eww.

by Anonymousreply 11401/24/2013


I'm headed to Cincy for the first time in a few days... fill me in.

by Anonymousreply 11501/24/2013

Old skool gay.

by Anonymousreply 11601/24/2013

Two guys started praying, next to me on a trans Atlantic. It was freaking creepy. That kind of public shit is so wrong. Everyone within earshot started looking and making WTF faces to each other.

by Anonymousreply 11701/24/2013

What religion were they?

by Anonymousreply 11801/24/2013

Hindi. It was some Moodras.

by Anonymousreply 11901/24/2013

Oh that's OK then

by Anonymousreply 12001/24/2013

They were 35 years old-ish, white men, Jesus freaks. One step from the asylum, r118

R119 is a forger

by Anonymousreply 12101/24/2013

I once had to endure a five hour flight while battling a urinary tract infection, and a few years later, a flight that featured an Olsen Twins movie. Can't decide which was worse.

by Anonymousreply 12201/24/2013

Circa 1975: the stewardess knocked on the bathroom door where I was smoking a joint with a soldier, who was just about to let me blow him.

by Anonymousreply 12301/24/2013

R105 I roll my eyes at you. You're a stick in the mud. Laugh a little.

by Anonymousreply 12401/24/2013

Those were the days, r123!

by Anonymousreply 12501/24/2013

Someone mentioned a tranny on their flight which reminded me of a funny story. Years ago I was working a flight with a bunch of Legionairres on board. They were all huddled in the back of the plane flirting with this tall woman who I knew was a tranny but all of them were clueless. They would have shart their pants if they knew it was a guy.

by Anonymousreply 12601/24/2013

I had an accidental doody and couldn't make the restroom ---

by Anonymousreply 12701/24/2013

Pooneil says, "hello to all my fans! ", R39.

Hey, I grew up around planes and even flew a bit but never solo'ed.

I once got stuck in the rear of a Piper Aztec being flown by a slightly tipsy radio station manager who was also apparently ADD. Quite a nice flight down from Bellingham WA into Eugene, where the inattentive SOB nearly landed us on top of an incoming Braniff flight. If you can hear the terrified flight controllers on the radio and see the screaming passengers on the other plane, you're too close. Pilot was written up but held onto his license. Anyway, that long ago flight was my LAST one ever in a private plane.

by Anonymousreply 12801/25/2013

R13 is a total asshole. Just had to post that.

by Anonymousreply 12901/25/2013

[quote]Laugh a little.

I don't laugh a little, I laugh a lot... at the slightest mention of anything funny.

There have been plenty of funny anecdotes here, but the porn and James Bond narratives were not them. They were lame attempts and massive fails. So I figured why not ask people to (literally) keep it real.

You wanna try your hand at comedy? Cool, but you'll have to put up with the results.

by Anonymousreply 13001/25/2013

Then the pilot put his hand on my thigh and asked me if I'd ever been inside a Turkish prison.

by Anonymousreply 13101/25/2013


by Anonymousreply 13201/25/2013

r132, were you on one of the planes that got delayed or are you writing from a Ouija board?

by Anonymousreply 13301/25/2013

I got delayed r133 -- luckily we had just taken off and were able to return to our airport (unlike many who found themselves stranded in random cities) but there was a lot of panic and fear, and strange stories bubbling out of people in the airport, so strange that I have never trusted other passengers again.

by Anonymousreply 13401/25/2013

Christmas time 2010, landed on a flight from Johannesburg to Amsterdam. When we were coming in to land everything looked white below us. We must have been the last plane to land that day because we almost skidded off the runway. As soon as we landed, the plane and windows were literally covered in snow within minutes. We were stuck on the runway for over 4 hours (this after an 11 hour flight). Eventually the FA's started cutting up left over meals and sandwiches to hand out to passengers. Eventually a bus was sent to rescue us. We then had another 24 hours stuck inside the terminal building with only a dirty floor to sleep on. I hate Schipol and won't fly through there in Winter ever again.

by Anonymousreply 13501/25/2013

I was on a flight when the bitch next to me opened a bottle of some shit called "Helenesque". She spilled it on the floor, and it promptly started to dissolve the carpet!! The smell was nauseating! It eventually ate through the fuslilage, the bitch was sucked through the bottom of the plane, and we made an emergency landing in Baltimore!

by Anonymousreply 13601/25/2013

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 13701/25/2013

R134, what kind of strange stories?

by Anonymousreply 13801/25/2013

For r138 --

We were attacked by Russia, who blew up the White House

We were attacked by Iran, who blew up the San Francisco City Hall

We were attacked by Arab terrorists, who blew up the Empire State building.

Bush was dead.

The Capitol was blown up by a bomb.

Ten thousand were dead in New York and Boston

The Washington Monument had been hit by a plane and snapped in half.

Los Angeles was next

A plane crashed into the St Louis Arch.

The Sears building in Chicago was on fire.

All this before we disembarked and got to the terminal, where there were TVs in the food court.

by Anonymousreply 13901/25/2013

Flying through a storm where a tornado touched down near the airport at the same time we did. The top of the thunderhead was the most spectacular ragged cloud formation I've ever seen in my years of flying; the flight down through it deep prayer material; and the clouds at landing as black as the blackest night. We were stuck on the runway for ages while the tornado passed.

by Anonymousreply 14001/25/2013

So you're saying passengers were hypothesising these ideas or were saying them like they were facts?

by Anonymousreply 14101/25/2013

saying them like they were facts

by Anonymousreply 14201/25/2013

I used to be a flight attendant, smaller planes, ranging in 13-35 seats. I was the only FA on board. We were flying from LGA-DCA. The captain calls and tells me that due to a bad snowstorm in DC, we'd be diverting the plane to Norfolk. I made the announcement, people weren't pleased, but hey, it is what it is.

A little while later, the captains calls and tells me that there's some turbulence ahead, so he's going to turn on the fasten seatbelt sign and tells me to be seated. I don't panic because this happens somewhat regularly, it's nothing too unusual, so I secured the galley and take to my jumpseat.

The turbulence's a LOT of turbulence. Passengers are freaking out, crying, praying. Laptops and cups and things are flying around (which is why we ask that these items be secured, but there wasn't really a lot of time...when the captain says sit, you sit.) My jumpseat is right next to the cockpit door and I hear EVERYTHING going on in there. All kinds of alarms going off and frantic shouting. I have no idea what is going on but I know it can't be good. I honestly thought I was about die. It was strange but I wasn't panicked about it, a strange sense of calm took over me. I hope that when my time comes, that same calm feeling takes over.

I had a piece of paper and a pen in my pocket. I wrote "tell my family I love them" and put it in my pocket. In hindsight, if we had crashed I probably would have burned to a crisp in my polyester uniform, but it was a nice gesture. No word from the cockpit, just alarms and yelling, no idea what exactly is going on but I felt it was my duty to prepare the passengers as best I could. I got on the PA and briefed the people in the exit row, and ask that all passengers quickly look over their safety briefing card. Then, I had everyone get into a brace position and shouted "heads down, stay down!" over and over (which is what we're supposed to do) until we finally landed. It was the bumpiest landing of my life, but we made it.

Once we landed, the passengers FREAKED. The firefighters surrounded the plane and we were not allowed to exit until they did some safety checks (really not sure what that was all about). People were demanding money, asking what the airline would do for them, etc. It was insane and I remember being shocked at the reaction (and what the hell they thought the flight attendant was going to do about it).

When we did disembark, my phone was ringing off the hook with the airline, the union, etc, wanting to make sure I was ok. I remember I had been dieting like crazy at the time, but I went into the airport and ordered a bacon cheeseburger with chili cheese fries from the A&W in there, and waited for them to get back to me about our hotel arrangements.

The captain took the FO and I to dinner that night at a nice seafood restaurant; the captain had flown in the military and for a large international airline for over 30 years, but he said that was the worst experience he had EVER had as a pilot. He said we experienced 9 different equipment failures (lost radar, lost radio contact, had issues with the landing gear, etc) and they were trying all they could to keep us from going into a tailspin. VERY freaky to think how really close we were.

by Anonymousreply 14301/25/2013

[quote] A plane crashed into the St Louis Arch

LOL. Can you imagine terrorists giving a shit about the St Louis Arch?

"I tell you we mst destroy it, Abdul! It is the gateway to the west!"

Abdul: Of, fuck off or I'll destroy the gateway to your asshole...

by Anonymousreply 14401/25/2013

To be fair to the passengers on the 911 flights, the cable news channels were saying that a car bomb went off in front of the Treasury building, a car bomb went off in the parking lot of NYU Medical Center, there were 11 more unaccounted aircraft in the sky (there was only one) and other misinformation.

by Anonymousreply 14501/25/2013

R145 -- I didn't hear any of that until we reached the terminal. After we landed, they made us wait on the plane for 20 minutes before letting us out, and everyone was on their phones and calling shit out to the rest of us.

by Anonymousreply 14601/25/2013

The pizza on American Airlines.

by Anonymousreply 14701/25/2013

Coming back from the Lake Placid Olympic training center on an evening flight on a tiny prop-jet. The pilot looked like he was 12 years old. And, there was a huge storm over the Adirondacks. I was in the front row and the curtain between the cockpit and the cabin was open and could see the radar display. It was solid white from the storm clouds. It was so bumpy and, at one point, it almost seemed like the plane had stopped mid-air.

When we got off, I asked the pilot if his mother knew he was out so late. He was blonde and adorable and he blushed and laughed.

by Anonymousreply 14801/25/2013


by Anonymousreply 14901/25/2013

In the early '90's I flew from NYC to Amsterdam on PIA. Pakistan was the next stop. Everyone smoked, no alcohol was served. They prayed every couple of hours. No blankets for men. A drunk guy behind me kept kicking my seat from behind. When I complained, the male flight attendants took him into the galley and beat the shit out of him. Never again....

by Anonymousreply 15001/26/2013

r143 - that was a hell of a story. Well told, too! Glad the plane didn't crash!

by Anonymousreply 15101/26/2013

We landed

by Anonymousreply 15201/27/2013

R150, are you serious? The flight attendants really beat up a passenger? or is this an obscure book/movie reference that I'm not getting?

by Anonymousreply 15301/27/2013

BTW, I looked up the Entebbe incident, as it was new to me, and the only Israeli commando killed during the raid was Yonaton Netayahu, brother of Benjamin. How interesting.

by Anonymousreply 15401/27/2013

The wild thing about Entebbe (the flight) was that they flew a huge C-130 all the way there and back at 100 feet in the air -- both to evade radar and save fuel.

by Anonymousreply 15501/27/2013

preordered lobster on JAP and was served white fish. I was not happy

by Anonymousreply 15601/27/2013

R146 did the crew tell you anything about the attacks prior to landing? What did they say to explain why you were returning to the airport?

by Anonymousreply 15701/27/2013

R157 -- they said we were returning to the airport, but not why. They said nothing about the attacks.

by Anonymousreply 15801/27/2013

R135: the funny thing about your story is that I had flown into Schipol only a few days earlier. Luckily I made it to my destination (Munich) before the snowstorm hit.

by Anonymousreply 15901/28/2013

The last minute asshole who gets stuck in the middle seat next to me. I can see him coming down the aisle and know this guy's trouble. Then he sits down next to me and picks up the skyphone. He starts talking about retrofitting his California mansion for earthquakes very loudly, very authoritatively, like it's for our benefit. Finally, they announced take-off and told people to hang up. This guy didn't. I leaned over and said the flight attendants told us to hang up. He looked at me in shock. "I can't believe this guy next to me on the plane! He just told me to hang up." I finally said, louder, "Hang up the phone Bozo." People started giggling around me, the FA came over and said he did need to hang up. He slammed the receiver into the seatback in front of him, turned to me, and said: "Just wait till we take off. I'll be talking all the way to New York." But when we took off, and he went to get the phone again, he had jammed it into the seatback so hard it stuck there. He sulked for the rest of the flight.

by Anonymousreply 16001/28/2013

don't fart on a airplane, the smell just gets recirculated by the ventalatin system.

by Anonymousreply 16101/28/2013

[quote]don't fart on a airplane, the smell just gets recirculated by the ventalatin system.

Not necessarily. Most airplane farts get absorbed by the thick cushions.

The average person farts 14 times a day (comes to at least once every 1.7 hours). 4.5 million people fly every day. Most flights last longer than two hours. Do you honestly think no one farts in cabins and that everyone holds it in or waits to go to the bathroom every two hours (the plane bathrooms can't handle that much activity!)?

We only notice the stinky ones, and for that matter, the ones not absorbed by cushions.

A better advice would be: don't lift your ass (like so many erroneously do to avoid funny sounds) when you fart in an airplane.

by Anonymousreply 16201/28/2013

A flight in 1990 from London to Paris on some smaller British airline, the name of which I can't remember. The pilot warned us it would be bumpy and it was from start to finish. Many people got sick. The French and British passengers around us were fighting over everything, like your seat is too far back, you're being too loud, etc. There were a bunch of yobbos (uncouth persons) going to some rugby match in Paris. They were all drunk and loud. Because of the turbulence, some of them started barfing on the plane, luckily none too near me and my friend. When we landed I thought we were done. Fat chance. We were in some airport on the outskirts of Paris called Beauvais, which is actually about 40-something miles from Paris. My friend and I then realized why the flight was so cheap. So, it was another hour plus on a shuttle into Paris with all the bickering French people and loutish Brits.

Now I always take the Chunnel, which is very peaceful and gets you from the heart of London to the heart of Paris. Love it.

by Anonymousreply 16301/28/2013

I was on a flight from LA to NY and sitting two rows in front of me were both Brooke Astor (who must have been in her late 80's at that time) and that marvelous pianist, Ray Davies. Midway through the first cocktail servings, Ray broke wind and blew poor little Mrs. Astor's hat right off her head! It was both funny and sad.

by Anonymousreply 16401/28/2013

r163 -- I was surprised how long it takes to fly the 210 miles from London to Paris -- 70 minutes! That's longer than the 60 minutes to cover the 400 miles from LA to SF.

by Anonymousreply 16501/29/2013

On a Cape Air puddle jumper from Martha's Vineyard to Logan. Pilot had to be in his 70's. We're approaching the runway at Logan, and we suddenly drop several hundred feet in a couple of seconds. I thought that we were history. Probably some large aircraft was about to slice us into pieces.

by Anonymousreply 16602/13/2013

1: stewardess walking up aisle with full barf bag and dropped it in aisle. Barf everywhere.

2: turbulence so bad that 2 flight attendants were throwing up.

by Anonymousreply 16702/13/2013

Really bad turbulence. No airsick bags, so I had to throw up in a wad of napkins. Others were doing the same. A screaming toddler puked all over himself and the hugely pregnant mother screaming at the father (in another row, in another aisle) to do something about it.

by Anonymousreply 16802/13/2013

On a long transatlantic flight, I got stuck sitting next to the god damned bathroom, and some morbidly obese bitch who apparently had diarrhea kept waddling her fat ass down the aisle to 'relieve herself' every twenty minutes or so. Every time she came out of the restroom, the smell would permeate my section of the cabin and I almost threw up multiple times. It was so disgusting. The smell was unreal. I finally explained my situtation to a flight attendant and she graciously moved me forward.

by Anonymousreply 16902/13/2013

The automatic pilot deflated...

by Anonymousreply 17002/13/2013

R140, may I compliment you? You have great writing style; sincerely! Are you a writer? I would totally read short stories by you; I am serious.

by Anonymousreply 17102/13/2013

R139, I thought - as did everyone - 911 was horrible, terrible tragedy. But for some reason, your litany of rumors flying has me laughing - NERVOUS laughter - my ass off. not at you! but the degree of rumors is incredible; God, you and your fellow passengers must have been so scared. Glad you made it okay.

by Anonymousreply 17202/13/2013

I was pretty lucky -- never got stuck on a tarmac, never got stacked up, most passengers have been benign, flight attendants are are nice when you are nice to them.

After 9/11, nothing bad happened either, it's just a pain to deal with security and everyone's mood is so bad, that most plane trips are just interludes to endure rather than adventures to enjoy.

by Anonymousreply 17302/14/2013

Worst was a flight a few years ago. It was a smaller plane with two seats on both sides so no middle. I sat in the aisle seat and this huge, fat guy sat by the window. He was a tall guy, too, and I could tell he was drunk. The flight was a little turbulent at first. All of a sudden this nasty smell hit my nostrils. The fat, drunk guy next to me told me he had crapped his pants. The smell got so nasty that I had to grab a barf bag and throw up.

I started frantically hitting the call button for the flight attendant, who didn't come back until the turbulence abated, which was probably about 10 minutes after the "shit"cident. Ugh, it was awful. Lucky for me the plane was not full, so the flight attendant moved me to another seat but eventually the whole plane began to stink. It was a 90 minute flight but it felt like 12 hours. I pity the clean-up crew that had to wash that seat.

by Anonymousreply 17406/06/2013

A flight from Beijing to Vancouver, some 15 years ago. Because of technical issues, we were sitting on the tarmac in Beijing for 4-5 hours before they fixed the problem. Such things are already unpleasant in their own right but nearly a half of the cabin was packed with Quebecois couples returning from China with their newly adopted babies, most of whom were screaming at the top of their lungs. Pure hell.

by Anonymousreply 17506/06/2013
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