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A SAFE Thread, Please, to Share with the Straight Women Here

A woman in another thread was grinding - in some ways, understandably so - about certain aspects of the DL that are shunning and incommodious to dialogue.

Can we please (please?) have a thread here where the name-calling nasties are held apart, so a little discussion on a couple topics can happen? It seems evident that many non-gay women visit and post here, and I wonder:

What is it about a gay web site that brings you here and keeps you here?

What don't you get about gay people and life, that you wonder about?

Are there gay people in your "real" life?

Have your opinions and attitudes changed after the DL? (Please don't talk about how mean we are here and how now you don't support gay rights - few posts here reflect reality and no one needs to hear that. We know how bad it can be - all ways.)

THANKS. I'm not trying to censor. I'm just trying to maintain a focus. And, of course, R1 is its own territory.

by Call me Opiereply 2601/21/2013

OP has stated her boundaries. You can tell that she wanted to add 'lol' to the end of every statement, but she refrained out of respect for gay men / intelligent lifeforms.

by Call me Opiereply 101/20/2013


by Call me Opiereply 201/20/2013

[quote]What don't you get about gay people and life, that you wonder about?

Respondents should probably quit using DL right now.

by Call me Opiereply 301/20/2013

in other words: a place for fraus to yammer....

by Call me Opiereply 401/20/2013

Gosh golly, r4, I thought we decided not to use that term "frau." It's an insulting word.

by Call me Opiereply 501/20/2013

Swing your twat over to ivillage and get the fuck out of here.

by Call me Opiereply 701/20/2013

Fucking leave the goddamn site!

by Call me Opiereply 801/20/2013

I must confess, I do like the exotic tone the gays add to our site, and the threads where they post pictures of their nocturnal activities can be quite distracting, but I wish they wouldn't try to take over.

by Call me Opiereply 901/20/2013

Well, I'm the OP and after an encounter with a straight woman who pays for membership here. My tone had led her to decide she wouldn't continue here. She had attempted to respond to the types of questions posed here in the midst of the "don't say frau" thread, and I was among the posters who, shall we say, pointed out a few things.

BUT I told her that not every thread turns into a free-for-all of hate and colorful cruelty, and that certainly threads specifically set up for certain topics are respected. I have seen it (although the last one I recall was two years ago).

I see now. Sorry, ma'am, if you're posting. Sorry to any women who read this. I'm big on the cunt and frau and beef curtains binges myself, but I honestly thought there was some sense of context here.

(Cue Joe Welch. Yes, it's that bad now.)

by Call me Opiereply 1001/20/2013

Long-time paying subscriber here. I remember the days when the DL was free and had seperate forums for politics and gossip. Michael Musto, in his Village Voice column, mentioned the bitter, snarky bitches here and I checked in.

At first, I lurked. I was, however, immediately caught in the DL tractor beam. After a few months I "got it" and began to post. I still adhere to a few self-imposed rules at this tough, mean, thoughtful circus:

1. I stay out of threads where the subject matter is such that, as straight woman, I have nothing to contribute. I read some of them and check out a few "presenting" threads but that's it.

2. I stick to posting in gossip and current events threads.

3. I call out the bigots, homphobes and idiots when I feel like making the effort to do so, which, truth be told, I used to have more energy for.

4. I ignore the mysogyny. I scroll past any thread subject title which uses the c-word in it, or, if the woman-haters are infesting the discussion.

"What don't you get about gay people and life, that you wonder about?"

After ten years plus here, not one damn thing.

by Call me Opiereply 1101/20/2013

Go the fuck away R11.

by Call me Opiereply 1201/20/2013

R12, enough. It wounds.

by Call me Opiereply 1301/20/2013

Laughing out loud at r12.

by Call me Opiereply 1401/20/2013

Yes it does R12. That's why I told her to go the fuck away.

by Call me Opiereply 1501/20/2013

I am utterly confused by the idea of posting a thread on a gay website intended to bash gays.

Just so you know, and so your children will know...we are not here for your amusement or entertainment. Gay people are not here to be your fabulous girlfriends. Gay people are not the accessory du jour for wannabe hipsters.

And that, was the night the light went out in Georgia.

by Call me Opiereply 1601/20/2013

Can I tell everyone about this monologue my vagina declared today?

by Call me Opiereply 1701/20/2013

I came here at least ten years ago when I was wondering whether Kevin Spacey was gay. I stayed because it was a hysterically funny, interesting place for gossip. Also, I learned almost immediately that Vin Diesel liked bossy blonde bottoms. I have no issues with gay people. Often,they're my brightest, wittiest students with whom I maintain contact for years after they graduate. It delights me that many are from supportive homes. I welcome gay marriage and thank Datalounge for the role it played in educating me.

by Call me Opiereply 1801/20/2013

[quote]I have no issues with gay people.

How kind.

by Call me Opiereply 1901/20/2013

[quote]What don't you get about gay people and life, that you wonder about?

I don't think this is an appropriate venue for this discussion. Curiously is fine, but I don't think I have ever even wondered about the ultra personal shit straight people ask us and feel entitled to know. It's like being punished for being out.

by Call me Opiereply 2001/20/2013

I'm a straight woman who has been a paid member of DL for about 7 years. I keep a very low profile and only post every so often. I respect the fact it is a gay message board and I don't want to stir things up.

I live in San Francisco and have had gay friends for years. I was a support group counselor for people with HIV/AIDS in the early 90's and did a lot of research in the field in grad school. I held a lot of hands of people who were dying of AIDS. Due to all of that, occasionally I have a twinge of resentment when I read the anti-female comments on DL. Most of the time, it doesn't bother me.

I haven't learned anything new about gay people since I've been on DL. I come here because I enjoy the discussions about popular culture and politics. I learn something new when I read threads about things such as products that really work. I've enjoyed datalounge for years and I haven't pissed anyone off, as far as I can tell.

by Call me Opiereply 2101/20/2013

R6, R12 and R15 has been spewing this shit all over DL lately. He is especially psychotic on that Tampon thread this evening.

Pathetic piece of shit, he is.

by Call me Opiereply 2201/20/2013

R16, there was no intention - and this was explicit - to bash gay people here. I explained the reasons for the thread, and it came from another thread where straight women were being bashed. Look at this thread and see where the nastiness is aimed.

Like I implied, I savage the offensive and clueless who crap on us gay people here. But there is another active pack of people here who profess to being gay but attack everyone and everything in the most relentless way. Sure, this has been going on for a long time, but it is now especially divisive and cuts into other gay posters - first it was the effeminacy issue, repeated over and over. Now it's the eldergay issue, with comparable repetitions. With gay-on-gay stupidity (without humor, wit, insight and bitchery - it's just a punk knock-down game), it seems that the issue of straight women being invited to post on a single thread is a very small thing.

So consider this a small experiment and consider what it shows.

by Call me Opiereply 2301/21/2013


by Call me Opiereply 2401/21/2013

Perhaps some women visitors aren't any of the things they are called. Perhaps they are not coming to gawk or learn anything. They may be the friends, mothers, wives, daughters and sisters of gay men and lesbians. They may be people who are interested in the DL perspective. Not all straight women are our competitors or oppressors.

When I was an undergrad many years ago, I audited many "black studies" courses(that's what they were called). I wasn't a white suburban kid trying to peer into an exotic world. I grew up in a large city, attended school with more blacks and hispanics than whites. I just wanted to know what was going on.

by Call me Opiereply 2501/21/2013

Man on the land! Man on the land!

by Call me Opiereply 2601/21/2013
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