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Am I socially "inept"?

I seem to be unable to carry a conversation with people. Whenever I'm having a conversation with someone, I always answer with "yeah, uh, um..." etc, or I change the topic.

E.g.

Me: "I love your hat, where did you buy it from?" Another person: "I bought it on a trip to Germany". Me:" I always buy my hats from France..."

I don't know what's wrong with me? Does anyone else have this problem?

by Anonymousreply 1301/18/2013

bump

by Anonymousreply 101/18/2013

You need to learn to tell bad jokes like every other guy.

by Anonymousreply 201/18/2013

OP have you taken the meyers briggs personality type test? Maybe it could help you with this.

by Anonymousreply 301/18/2013

Would you try being diagnosed for Asperger's now known as high-functioning autism

by Anonymousreply 401/18/2013

Just tell people you have Tourette's and a big dick, Cunt Bitch Asshole. It works for me, Cunt Bitch Asshole.

by Anonymousreply 501/18/2013

Maybe you're just bad at small talk? There's a fine art to pretending to be interested in pointless bullshit.

by Anonymousreply 601/18/2013

From your example, it sounds like you just prefer talking about yourself and your own experience. Very common.

by Anonymousreply 701/18/2013

R7 how should I respond so that the other person doesn't feel like I'm talking about me?

by Anonymousreply 801/18/2013

R6 How can I hone the art of small talk. Is there a self-help book out there for small talk?

by Anonymousreply 901/18/2013

Just use the information someone gives you about themselves to advance the conversation. So "I bought this hat in Germany" tells you that the person has been to Germany. Say "How was Germany? I've never been" or "I was in Berlin a few years ago, how'd you like it?" and then they get to tell you all about their vacation. Hearing about someone else's vacation is boring as hell, I know, BUT hopefully the Germany stories will lead the conversation in a more interesting direction. A good conversationalist (there are few of these) will then ask you about yourself after spending a long time discussing their experiences.

by Anonymousreply 1001/18/2013

Yeah, try asking the person another question or "pamper" what they just said about themselves: "Oh, that's awesome! [something further about Germany or hats, etc."

I become socially "inept" like you describe when I go for long periods of time without being able to socialize (and even worse, my sense of humor goes away). It's like I forget how to talk to people and must come off as autistic or selfish or something until I get used to it again.

by Anonymousreply 1101/18/2013

I try to be interested in people, but if I ask them a question they inevitably end up answering and by the time they're done speaking, I'm bored.

by Anonymousreply 1201/18/2013

Practice makes perfect, OP. Get yourself out there and keep talking to people. It will be second nature before you know it.

by Anonymousreply 1301/18/2013
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