How would Christianity be different if Jodie Foster was Jesus.
|by Anonymous||reply 53||01/19/2013|
Jesus gets banged on the pinball machine by all the apostles at the last supper.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||01/14/2013|
Speaking in tongues would take on an entirely different meaning altogether.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||01/14/2013|
"Our Mother, who art in Wranglers, how flowing be thy tang . . ."
|by Anonymous||reply 3||01/14/2013|
Mel Gibson would be Satan.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||01/14/2013|
"Hey, that prayer thing? Too Much information. Thanks."
|by Anonymous||reply 5||01/14/2013|
Holy text would be the script for "The Beaver".
|by Anonymous||reply 7||01/14/2013|
Jesus would have miraculously walked on carpet AND munched it at the Last Supper.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||01/15/2013|
She already thinks she is--having sacrificed her privacy for our sins.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||01/15/2013|
Christianity would never have gained a foothold because people would have become bored with it in the second century.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||01/15/2013|
There wouldn't be a New Testament: Non-Disclosure Agreements.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||01/15/2013|
The Sermon on the Mount would have been even longer and more rambling.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||01/15/2013|
I'm not saying anything about the Father. It's a private matter.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||01/15/2013|
The Second Coming Out
|by Anonymous||reply 14||01/15/2013|
"I said I was born of a VEGAN Mary. Mom couldn't swallow meat because of the freebasing."
|by Anonymous||reply 15||01/15/2013|
The Judas kiss would be as awkward as the kisses in Sommersby
|by Anonymous||reply 16||01/15/2013|
"As the Daughter of God and your Savior upon which all your hopes and the future of your immortal souls depend, I must demand that you give me my privacy because I'm such a special little cunt."
|by Anonymous||reply 17||01/15/2013|
The Book of Revelations would be written in the invented language from Nell.
It would finally make sense.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||01/15/2013|
Christianity is based on so many lies it isn't funny.
Just go look up the Book of Enoch and the Book of Jubilees for more.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||01/15/2013|
[quote]The Second Coming Out
|by Anonymous||reply 20||01/15/2013|
Mel's movie would have been called "The Passion of the Lambs"
|by Anonymous||reply 21||01/15/2013|
The woman at the well would be a bad actress who fucked all of her directors.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||01/15/2013|
R19 is her own parody.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||01/15/2013|
She MIGHT still be a carpenter...
|by Anonymous||reply 24||01/15/2013|
After that speech at the Golden Globe show, Jodie has the the 'speaking in parables' down pat.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||01/15/2013|
R25...or speaking in tongues.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||01/15/2013|
The Gospel would be The L Word.
|by Anonymous||reply 27||01/15/2013|
The burning bush would be something entirely different.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||01/15/2013|
|by Anonymous||reply 29||01/15/2013|
Nuns would all be lesbians, wear sensible shoes...oh wait.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||01/15/2013|
The loaves and the fish would include nutloaves and the fish would stink to high heaven.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||01/15/2013|
All I know is that when she called for loaves and fishes a Wonder Bread truck and the Bryn Mawr Class of 1967 showed up.
|by Anonymous||reply 32||01/15/2013|
Holy oil would be Coppertone suntan lotion.
|by Anonymous||reply 33||01/15/2013|
I would demand that you would sacrifice all or your wordly possessions and yet you can NEVER ask me any questions about my private life.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||01/15/2013|
Curly hair would be a curse from God!
|by Anonymous||reply 35||01/15/2013|
Aix en Provence would still be the seat of the Pope. Pope Joan.
|by Anonymous||reply 36||01/15/2013|
Christianity would die out, since the announcement of godhood would come a good decade after everyone stopped caring.
|by Anonymous||reply 37||01/15/2013|
She did that in Nell, R26
|by Anonymous||reply 38||01/15/2013|
r18 - you mean it ISN'T?
Well, bugger me...
|by Anonymous||reply 39||01/15/2013|
"And they clad her with purple, and platted a crown of thorns, and put it about her head...
Then she grabbed her toolkit and some wood and built her own damn cross
|by Anonymous||reply 40||01/15/2013|
Who cares? She's not glamorous at all so she doesn't deserve attention on Datalounge.
|by Anonymous||reply 41||01/15/2013|
He'd never come out of the closet. Ooops, wait.
|by Anonymous||reply 42||01/15/2013|
The cross would be a "tae in the 'win"
|by Anonymous||reply 43||01/16/2013|
[quote]Mel Gibson would be Satan.
This does not constitute a difference.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||01/16/2013|
Lots of lesbian nuns. Oh, wait...
|by Anonymous||reply 45||01/16/2013|
Robert Downey, Jr. would be lose his head.
|by Anonymous||reply 46||01/17/2013|
The miracle of the five loaves and two fish would end differently.
|by Anonymous||reply 47||01/17/2013|
Instead of just fish on Friday, it would be tuna melts all week long.
|by Anonymous||reply 48||01/18/2013|
the Garden of Eden's snake = Noodles.
|by Anonymous||reply 49||01/19/2013|
If Jodie Foster were Jesus she'd fix the main page.
|by Anonymous||reply 50||01/19/2013|
It was probably Jodie's minions who crashed it!
|by Anonymous||reply 51||01/19/2013|
R51 If you were Jodie Foster and your minions crashed the server what would you do?
|by Anonymous||reply 52||01/19/2013|
Over on Zetaboards they claim Brandon did it.
|by Anonymous||reply 53||01/19/2013|