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What's the Oddest Place You've Masturbated?

Even if you're not an exhibitionist or thrill seeker, most guys at some point find themselves needing a release. Where have you taken things into your own hands?

Me? Church restroom at 14, because my hard-on wouldn't go away and I had to climb the pulpit in front of the school and read one of the Epistles at Mass in a few minutes.

by Anonymousreply 14305/28/2013

Which Epistle, OP?

by Anonymousreply 101/14/2013

Space Mountain

by Anonymousreply 201/14/2013

In the middle of the side garden, under the stars, near the wisteria esplanade.

by Anonymousreply 301/14/2013

In an 8th grade English class.

by Anonymousreply 401/14/2013

In a sleeping room (aka prison cell) on a moving Amtrak train traveling from Miami to New York.

by Anonymousreply 501/14/2013

In the parking lot of my old middle school. I live close by to it, it was late at night, there was no one around, and I couldn't wait until I got home.

by Anonymousreply 601/14/2013

Into my own mouth. Odd, although hot and tasty.

by Anonymousreply 701/14/2013

That would be in the butt, Bob.

by Anonymousreply 801/14/2013

When I lived on the ocean in Florida, I used to love to j/o in the Atlantic.

by Anonymousreply 901/14/2013

when I was about 16, used to skip out of attending Sunday School, walk downtown, look for graffiti written under a bridge. often jacked there, once ended up in a bank lobby, never thinking of security cams being in place. and oddly enuff , it was the bank my uncle Howie worked at.

by Anonymousreply 1001/14/2013

In the NYC to New Orleans Amtrack train, with the porter who served me breakfast that day.

by Anonymousreply 1101/14/2013

And what would Uncle Howie say if you were caught R10 ?

by Anonymousreply 1201/14/2013

In the boys' locker room bathroom in both middle school and high school, every once in a while. Sometimes after watching all the guys change into gym clothes I couldn't wait until I got home.

by Anonymousreply 1301/14/2013

Probably not that odd but I jerked off once while driving late one night. Not as easy or satisfying as you might think.

by Anonymousreply 1401/14/2013

Bend over for Uncle Howie, and pull down your trousers.

by Anonymousreply 1501/14/2013

R11 I did that on Amtrak too, with a big no-necked football player who came all over the pillow in my sleeping car.

by Anonymousreply 1601/14/2013

Whilst posting on this very board.

by Anonymousreply 1701/14/2013

R12 = the Nephew Troll.

by Anonymousreply 1801/14/2013

While driving in my car. I do it often.

by Anonymousreply 1901/14/2013

Doing it while driving in a car is odd? I'd think it was odd if a guy had never touched his cock while driving.

by Anonymousreply 2001/14/2013

[quote]with a big no-necked football player who came all over the pillow in my sleeping car.

That's hot

by Anonymousreply 2101/14/2013

In the open air of my back yard in Lexington, Kentucky.

And in the bushes outside a friend's apartment when I visited her in Houston, Texas.

by Anonymousreply 2201/14/2013

[quote]And in the bushes outside a friend's apartment when I visited her in Houston, Texas

What, did you rub one out outside her place before going up and ringing the buzzer? How odd.

by Anonymousreply 2301/14/2013

On the roof of a county courthouse building.

by Anonymousreply 2401/14/2013

The United States Capitol

by Anonymousreply 2501/14/2013

Under a blanket on a plane. In my car.

by Anonymousreply 2601/14/2013

I jerked off another guy (stranger until that day) under a blanket in an airplane - does that count?

by Anonymousreply 2701/14/2013

naw, Uncle Howie was a great guy, doubt he ever saw the security vid if there was one, and even though I find older/younger stuff potentially hot in porn, I have way too many fond memories of him to even think about that kind of stuff with him. just my thing, hate to dissappoint anyone, so you are tellin me there is a "uncle troll"??

by Anonymousreply 2801/14/2013

R19, that's fine, just don't text while driving.

by Anonymousreply 2901/14/2013

On an train from Fez to Marrakesh. Had been traveling for a week with a group of people and I had to get off. Went in the train car bathroom late at night and finished by shooting in the sink. Think it was the biggest load I ever shot. Haven't thought about it in over 15 years until I saw this thread.

by Anonymousreply 3001/14/2013

R1, it was first Epistle Reading of the Mass (if you're not Catholic, there usually are two readings from Paul or Acts or the other non-gospels) to be read on the feast of St. Matthias. It was the part of Acts of the Apostles that says, about the death of Judas,

[quote]and he burst asunder in the midst, and all his bowels gushed out.

Now, that was horrible enough. But I had been looking at Buddy Mueller's butt - he was a paper boy and would work out between selling papers on the street, and he was built like no one else in the school - and **BOING**

by Anonymousreply 3101/14/2013

What did Buddy Mueller's butt look like, OP?

by Anonymousreply 3201/14/2013

[post by racist shit-stain # 2 removed.]

by Anonymousreply 3301/14/2013

In the men's room of the Margaret Herrick Library at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences.

I guess that's pretty MARY!.

by Anonymousreply 3401/14/2013

In a church, next to the slightly raised altar. It felt blasphemous, which added to the hotness.

by Anonymousreply 3501/14/2013

At the Vulcan Statue, Birmingham, Alabama.

by Anonymousreply 3601/14/2013

R27. I like your masturbation location the best.

Yes darlin, you're a whore. And I mean that in a good way.

by Anonymousreply 3701/14/2013

In high school in my friend's parents' bed. They were away and my friend had a party. I was the only one who was staying over after the party. I couldn't drink that night because I was on medication. After everyone left and my friend went to sleep, I slipped into his parents' bedroom. I had the hots for my friend's dad, who was a tall barrell-chested guy. I found one of the dad's undershirts in the hamper and took in his musky scent. I got on the bed with a wad of tissue and went to town imagining my friend's dad fucking me on the bed while I smelled the undershirt. I blew a huge load. Flushed the tissue down the toilet and no one was the wiser.

by Anonymousreply 3801/15/2013

Climbed up a tree in my backyard and did it atop a branch (no treehouse). I was very young.

In a taxicab on my way to JFK airport. Driver never noticed. I was very high.

by Anonymousreply 3901/15/2013

" Flushed the tissue down the toilet and no one was the wiser."

That's what you think, R38.

by Anonymousreply 4001/15/2013

I've done what R27 did several times. I prefer under a tray table though.

by Anonymousreply 4101/15/2013

R40, you should have signed it, "His Dad's Ghost."

by Anonymousreply 4201/15/2013

How did you initiate the handjobs, r41? Did you suggest it, did your seatmate ask for it, or was it surprise jackoff?

by Anonymousreply 4301/15/2013

In the ballroom with a lead pipe.

by Anonymousreply 4401/15/2013

In a cemetery... during a funeral. No joke.

by Anonymousreply 4501/15/2013

R38 I hear you.

My best friend in college was a handsome enough guy, though I didn't see him in a sexual way. But his father was the definition of alpha male.

Super tall (6'5") and one of the sexiest men I'd ever seen. He was 50 and looked 30. Solid as fuck. Size 14 feet. Ex-Marine but a very nice man, one of the first to sort of subtly suggest to me that he knew I was "taking a different path."

I stayed with my friend at his dad's maybe five or six times in two years. The last few times I made a point to crash on the couch in the basement so I could find his underwear or shirts. He smelled amazing - I can still remember the smell of his cock and how stretched out the pouch of his briefs were.

The last time I went was at our graduations. His dad was wearing a tank top and shorts. I almost came in my pants just seeing him.

by Anonymousreply 4601/15/2013

Olmsted Summerhouse on the Capitol grounds, aided by the hand of a Capitol police officer.

by Anonymousreply 4701/15/2013

R47, OK, now I am rock hard. LOL

by Anonymousreply 4801/15/2013

On my hotel room balcony overlooking the boardwalk in one of those New Jersey boardwalk towns, I can't remember which one. Sad, it's probably been swept out to sea now. Goodbye, sweet memories...

by Anonymousreply 4901/15/2013

Please describe the (hopefully male) police officer, r47. TIA and very much appreciated.

by Anonymousreply 5001/15/2013

White guy, mid 30's (best guess), about 5'10, fitfat, dark goatee and a smirk that wouldn't quit. Definitely made up for getting up super early to run on the Mall that morning.

by Anonymousreply 5101/15/2013

Alley, downtown Cincinnati, with another guy. New Year's Day. 1985.

by Anonymousreply 5201/15/2013

Greyhound bus, at age 13, on the way to visit my grandmother. Fondled myself under my trousers, came all over myself under my clothes. Learned a lesson about hygiene and odor that day.

by Anonymousreply 5301/15/2013

At my desk in the back row of my business class in 9th grade. My teacher was this tall, hot basketball coach, late 20's and while we took tests, he would sit at his desk reading and put his feet up on the wastebasket and kick his shoes off. I stared at those hot dress socked feet and pressed my hard-on against the edge of my desk and rubbed against it imagining putting my nose up against the socked soles and toes and inhaling and kissing and worshiping his black-socked feet. Shot a huge load in my pants.

by Anonymousreply 5401/15/2013

R46, your friend's dad sounds hot! Like you, I wasn't attracted to my friend at all. My friend resembled his mother's side of the family. In fact, my friend's three siblings all resembled the mother's side. Too bad no one got the hot dad's looks.

Kind of sad follow up. The dad was still pretty hot in high school but he had started to put on weight by the time we were seniors. I didn't stay good friends with his son, so by my senior year I'd only see him on occasion, making the weight gain more noticeable. The dad was tall (6'4) and broad, so he still carried the weight pretty well by my senior year.

Cut to 10 years later when I run into him and his wife at a store while home visiting my parents one summer. The dad had put on a ton of weight and looked awful. Just a few years after that an old friend told me the dad died. Apparently he had some kind of heart problem that slowed him down and got him very depressed, thus the weight gain. He eventually died of the ailment. But I still remember the hot guy who provided hours of fantasies, and still does to this day.

by Anonymousreply 5501/15/2013

In the men's bathroom at my work, after checking out a hot UPS guy with a hot body passing my way. Got an instant boner, and had to immediately choke the chicken.

That rarely happens at work!

by Anonymousreply 5601/15/2013

Riding my motorcycle on cruise control south on I-95, somewhere in GA. And I even came!

Try that, boys!

by Anonymousreply 5701/15/2013

I did it in class once, too. 9th or 10th grade I think. Don't even remember what brought it on - I of course had a boner constantly in those days. I was wearing a pair of baggy cargo pants with very large pockets - big enough to get a nice firm grip on my cock and covertly go to town. Made a little mess in my boxers, but I was jerking off so much in those days that I didn't even shoot that much. Ah, memories.

I still jerk off in the men's room at work, occasionally.

by Anonymousreply 5801/15/2013


by Anonymousreply 5901/15/2013

On the night shift in a top secret lab for the US Air Force. Less people at night. I was reading a cheap novel sex scene which got me horny. The door had to be code punched to enter so I had time to hide the evidence when somebody entered. In the novel a woman had jacked her boyfriend and said his cum smelled like the ocean. I had to see if mine did also. and yes.

by Anonymousreply 6001/15/2013

I was in a dressing room at JC Penney trying on jeans when I was shopping w/my mother. I remember thinking how dirty it was when I just left the cum on the carpet and how I was nervous that there might have been cameras. I was probably 16.

The other time was in a Dillards dressing room w/a guy I had met in the mall. He got off on doing stuff in public places, he wanted me to fuck him in the dressing room but I was too nervous. He would just grab a pair of jeans and go to a dressing room like it was nothing, but I had to make it not obvious so I picked up a few pairs of jeans, and after we jerked off together and I came all over his face he used said pair to clean up then just walked out and that was the last I saw him. I was nervous that we would be busted for that, and when I came out the woman sales associate asked if I needed any help or if the sizes were right.

by Anonymousreply 6101/15/2013

There was a drive-in movie theater near where I used to live that showed hard core (straight) porn. (This was in the days before VCRs.) I used to go every week and jack off in my car.

by Anonymousreply 6201/15/2013

And for those of you who don't believe that ...

by Anonymousreply 6301/15/2013

I did it on the chair of somebody at work that I had a crush on. I thought it would be no big deal to wipe it off but it wouldn't come out! So I switched his chair with another in another department. He bitched about his chair not being the right settings for a week.

by Anonymousreply 6401/15/2013

There is a Drive-in porn movie theatre outside of Tyler, Texas.

by Anonymousreply 6501/15/2013

When I was a teenager, my mom and I were driving to my grandmothers. (200 miles.)

I masturbated in the passenger seat next to her while she was driving.

I think I was discreet. who knows.

Also, once in an airplane bathroom. Also when a teenager.

by Anonymousreply 6601/15/2013

Once, on the Arctic tundra. It was quite a beautiful experience.

by Anonymousreply 6701/15/2013

On top of Ben Nevis - just before a party of German schoolboys arrived.

by Anonymousreply 6801/15/2013

Speaking of Tyler, Texas, I spanked the monkey in the municipal rose garden there.

by Anonymousreply 6901/15/2013

R8: Oh you!

by Anonymousreply 7001/15/2013

Library stacks study carrels in college.

by Anonymousreply 7101/15/2013

In the backseat of the car while riding w/my dad and grandad up to his house for the holidays. I was 15 and the car ride was long and I just unzipped and jerked. I'm pretty sure my dad knew what I was doing as I kept watching for his eyes in the rearview mirror. My grandada was just asleep so he had no clue. It was terrifying, yet exhilarating. I had some silky boxers on.

by Anonymousreply 7201/15/2013

Under an afghan on my parents living room sofa as a teen, while my parents sat in the room reading teh newspaper.

by Anonymousreply 7301/15/2013

I'm too ashamed and embarrassed to say the #1 oddest place I've jerked off. But I have also j/o'd in the backseat while my parents were up front, as well as jerked myself off in class (in middle school) under my jacket. Did the locker room thing as well (I was a swimmer and saw so much dick & ass in those days, I was constantly riled up). I remember one time pulling it out in the forest behind my house and jacking off behind a large tree that blocked anyone from seeing me. I was completely OOC as a kid.

by Anonymousreply 7401/15/2013

[quote]The last time I went was at our graduations. His dad was wearing a tank top and shorts. I almost came in my pants just seeing him.

R46. Your friend's father wore a tank top and shorts to a graduation? That's rather inappropriate and white trash of him.

by Anonymousreply 7501/15/2013

A little peeping Tom action. I lived on the outskirts of town in the part right before it became mainly rural. There was a single biker guy in the last house at the end of the street, which was a dead end that led into the forrest. Right near his house there was a path that was a shortcut through the woods to my friend's house. Just as the path neared the street you could see into the biker's sliding glass door on his back deck. One summer evening, I was coming back from my friend's and saw the single guy through the sliding glass doors walking around with just his underwear on. He was medium built, full beard, hairy chest. I got the courage to go up on his deck and jerk off to him sitting on his couch watching TV.

I did it a few more times until one night a noise in the woods startled me and I made some noise. There I was with my hand in my shorts going to town. Well the biker guy jumped up and grabbed a pair of shorts to put on and headed for the back deck. Lucky for me he had a small back yard and I ran like hell into the woods. He came out with a flashlight and looked around for a bit. I stayed very still and was scared to death. After he went in, I went down the tree line a bit and took an alternate path home.

I only went back once more. He had never had back lights on in the past. I assume it was because of that night when I made noise because when I went back, he had the back lights on. Oh well, it was good while it lasted.

by Anonymousreply 7601/15/2013

I used to do it in our backyard all the time, as well as pee in the backyard.

by Anonymousreply 7701/15/2013

R64: did you smell chair first...soak up his musty ass odor? Hot!

by Anonymousreply 7801/15/2013

R75 - Last time I went to their HOUSE. It was my friend's graduation party.

And his dad had like eight of his Marine buddies there. Lots of eye candy.

But I was so focused on his dad and I knew it was prob. the last time I was going to get to be there, too. A really beautiful man, inside and out, and the biggest fittest man I've ever seen.

by Anonymousreply 7901/15/2013

Buddy was blonde, had a large square face with looks that just begged to be in a uniform. Which is where he ended up - a Marine lifer who has had more tours overseas than anyone could count.

He was not tall, but solid muscle with a small waist, huge defined chest, and an ass that looked like it was cut from stone). He was the only guy I knew who wore white pants, and they always were too tight but managed to go up the crack of his ass like they were tailored. Remember, he was 14-15 (as was I) and way ahead of his time. He couldn't understand why men were hitting on him at the corner where he sold papers. Never mind that in between sales he was doing push ups and squats. (I am telling the truth here.) He was a classic narcissist who was all about the fitness and beef, but didn't connect it all to sexuality. Not at that age, any way.

Oh, enough of him. Later in high school I had more issues with the dark smooth half-Indian (American) soccer boy in the senior class who didn't like how some of his classmates talked about me, so he'd come over and rub my shoulders and tell me to ignore them. Then he'd pat me on the cheek. Well, then it was off to the empty nurse's room for a little relief. That's where everyone went to "do things."

One more thing - inner city Catholic high school. I knew at least 10 of the "straight" guys were hustling in the park nearby for date money. It was a St. Louis tradition - still is in some areas. After school getting your cock sucked for a couple of bucks. Amazing. But none of the gay kids did it. So with all the sexual knowledge at the school, students (sometimes with teachers and priests) were jerking off or otherwise playing around all the time. The worst was my future brother-in-law fucking a girl on the altar. Now, really.

by Anonymousreply 8001/15/2013

hot guy jacked me off on a overnight bus ride in Mexico. One time in Argentina-amazing German skier guy and I jerked each other off in the train bathroom. Were accidental seat mates - no better way to travel. Good kisser too.

by Anonymousreply 8101/15/2013

Sounds hot, R81.

by Anonymousreply 8201/16/2013

When I think about you, I touch myself!

by Anonymousreply 8301/16/2013


by Anonymousreply 8401/16/2013

Tell us more about the St. Louis high school tradition, r80.

by Anonymousreply 8501/16/2013

Male prostitution by blue-collar/working-class kids was a staple of St. Louis life at least to the first part of the 20th century. People I knew (I was the pet of an old crowd starting when I was 15, and I'm 58 now.) said it always was that way.

On the South Side the focus was Tower Grove Park, in my neighborhood. One contingent would hustle on Grand by the main gates, others would be in the Columbus Statue area, others would be in the center circle area, and so on through the park. It was like a food court for johns. And "straight" guys would go from school to the park and pick up some easy money. Most of the ones I recognized were the jocks, greasers, motorcycle and low-end types I knew from Catholic schools. They weren't shy, didn't usually care if they were seen - after all, they were straight and if someone wanted to get them off via a blow job and pay them, fine. It was only after meeting some of adult men doing the picking up that I realized this was a cover - most would get fucked or blow the john, or end up in three-ways with another hustler. And prices were very cheap.

Another hustler area on the South Side was Cherokee Street. That was more for public school guys. And the Hill (Italian neighborhood), which was rough trade, families of brothers, and some younger kids.

Some of the hustlers were more mobile. And very young. I knew of one 13-year-old who was servicing an entire fire house (Soulard area). They would fuck him in shifts. He was paid quarters - this is the truth.

This continued well into the AIDS epidemic, although over time the hustlers gradually were more drop-outs and transients. Drugs became a bigger piece. The police clamped down, published names in the papers, and things finally slowed down and moved on. Sickly-looking hustlers moved farther south on Grand.

But in the heyday it was amazing to see. Lined up, the kids who would punch me for being a sissy, nodding at cars, rubbing their crotches - my own bf would drive slowly by.

I figure 20-25 percent of the guys were doing it. I never had sex with any of them, including my future brother-in-law, who repeatedly asked me. The idea of prostitution and hustlers didn't turn me on.

Oh, they're still at it, but in much smaller numbers, and the guys are trashy. (I moved back to the neighborhood after many years.) Two groups of three brothers each are active - if you like young, they pass the kid brother to the john. Older? The older brother takes over. In one of the families the mother acquiesces. Amazing.

Thanks for asking, R85.

by Anonymousreply 8601/16/2013

r85: Also 58. Interesting to read your post since I can share a similar experience.

I went to a Catholic boy's high school in NJ from 1968-1972. AMAZING the number of guys who hustled. How did I find out?

Visited the South Mt Reservation for the first time in the fall of 1971. I had just turned 17. I heard about it from a friend of mine who would jo with me. He was my "first" if you will, as far as man/man sex went. He told me that in the Reservation there were lots of "old guys" and they would pay you for sex. JO and oral.

He was right. The "old guys" were younger than I am today, lol. Wedding rings and they could suck chrome off a hub cap. Yes, I did suck a lot of them, but most of the time it was mutual. My friend told me that if you brought up money they would pay you. 10$.

A couple of weird encounters--one guy wanted to watch me take a dump--but most of the time it was fast, easy, and the "old guys" were more nervous than anything. You also got a LOT of seminarians. Seton Hall is nearby.

by Anonymousreply 8701/16/2013

I once rubbed one out during a production of THE SOUND OF MUSIC where I was the assistant stage manager. It was during Act One when Maria and the Mother Abbess are singing "My Favorite Things". I was directly behind a set piece with my dick hanging out jerking away.

by Anonymousreply 8801/16/2013

These two surfer types were washing the windows of my building in Honolulu. Up they went 43 stories, then down 43 stories, up and down, finally getting closer to me. So hot, so dumb, wearing just surfer shorts and sneakers. I lay on my bed, naked, beating off, right by the window with its sheer curtains, window open a bit so I could hear them and feel the breeze. Finally, the feet appeared, then the rest of them, going all surfer-talk a mile a minute and washing away. Evidently, they couldn't see me with the bright sun and all, since they never stopped the surfer babble or the squee-squeee, and I came mightily while they washed my window, mere inches away. Then, alas, they were gone and it was over.

by Anonymousreply 8901/16/2013

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 9001/16/2013

r86, thank you for that. I go to school in Saint Louis and have been in awe of the high school traditions (and importance) of the town. I have been in conversation with seemingly well-off guys that went to Catholic school and they have expressed being open to selling themselves if the right circumstances were there - it seems totally inconsistant with the city but, as your posts have it, maybe it is consistant after all.

So I don't totally side track the thread: I once masturbated in the nurse's bed at camp. Being so young it was odd and exciting, but for only about a minute.

by Anonymousreply 9101/17/2013


by Anonymousreply 9201/17/2013

R88- thats classic.

by Anonymousreply 9301/17/2013


Is Golan Cipel posting here again?

by Anonymousreply 9401/17/2013

Academy of Music, Philadelphia, in the proscenium box during an opera.

by Anonymousreply 9501/18/2013

R89 And did you then have to wash the windows again?

by Anonymousreply 9601/18/2013

My older sister's 1977 Toyota Celica on a sugar beet field.

Don't ask.

by Anonymousreply 9701/18/2013

Eww, R97. That's kinda incestuous.

by Anonymousreply 9801/18/2013

We were having the house painted and I happened to come home from work to see them painting just outside my bathroom window. With the curtain open, you could see through the bathroom and into the bedroom. When I got home, I told them that if they needed anything, I would be napping inside for a while. I stripped naked and lay on the bed face down in clear view of the window. I bent my head down to see if and how they reacted, barely opening my eyes to appear that I was sleeping. I heard one of them say something to the other and point in the window. There was a lot of noise as they both ran to the bedroom window and started painting the frame so that they could see clearly into the bedroom! I was very excited but also nervous, so I never turned over and even slightly covered my ass with a sheet when they moved to that window! I regret to this day not giving them a show as I am sure they would have wanted to come inside! Every time I see them in public, they are VERY friendly, but this is a small town so in a way I am glad I didn't do it!

by Anonymousreply 9901/18/2013

Well she wasn't IN the car at the time.

She was in the beet field.

I'm not a total perv.

by Anonymousreply 10001/18/2013

In the bell towerof a church during early service. I'm going to hell.

by Anonymousreply 10101/18/2013

On my younger sister's Mrs. Beasley doll. Buffy never found out. I think Mr. French discovered what I had done and washed the doll before sis woke up from her nap. Thank God he never told Sissy or Unca Bill.

by Anonymousreply 10201/18/2013

Jody is that why Buffy hung herself?

by Anonymousreply 10301/18/2013

On my Cousin, Oliver.

by Anonymousreply 10401/18/2013

On the shitbra...

by Anonymousreply 10501/18/2013

During college I interned in big corporate offices - one year at Honeywell in Minneapolis, the next year at a communications firm in Chicago. I used to go rub one out in the bathroom regularly.

I also used to drive from Minnesota to Chicago, and masturbate on the way. Not by taking by dick out, but just by rubbing my dickhead through my pants. It took a while, but I got there.

I know, not exactly that odd, but probably the oddest for me.

Like most young men, my dick was always half-hard and tingling. God, I miss that. I have no problems getting hard at 40, but that tingle is gone a lot of the time.

by Anonymousreply 10601/18/2013

I Don't Masturbate!!!!

by Anonymousreply 10701/18/2013

I shot my load off the Golden Gate Bridge with help from a cop on a bike.

by Anonymousreply 10801/19/2013

Not so unusual I suppose, driving through Tucson jacking my dick. A high riding van next to me pick up on my activity and the driver nodded and motioned for me to follow him. Cute Mexican guy, followed him to his house to take care of my problem. I don't think he could actually see my dick but he could see my arm working up and down.

by Anonymousreply 10901/19/2013

[quote]I shot my load off the Golden Gate Bridge with help from a cop on a bike.

Don't leave it there. This needs more information. Did he just watch from a distance or did he help jack you? Did you do anything to or with him? Day or night?

by Anonymousreply 11001/19/2013

On my first job, downtown Houston, they were building out a couple of floors in my building. Jacked off several times, sometimes by myself, and a couple of times with another man I'd eyed at lunch or on break.

Later, I was checking the apartment of a colleague at work, younger, Irish jock type, and I was so in love with him, and he was very, very straight. Jacked off in his apartment and put some of the cum into his cologne so I knew he was wearing my cum on his face for the next month or so.

by Anonymousreply 11101/19/2013

R111- wow!

by Anonymousreply 11201/19/2013

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 11301/19/2013

[quote]Later, I was checking the apartment of a colleague at work, younger, Irish jock type, and I was so in love with him, and he was very, very straight. Jacked off in his apartment and put some of the cum into his cologne so I knew he was wearing my cum on his face for the next month or so.

Damn, now THAT is hardcore!

by Anonymousreply 11401/19/2013

r90 wins, but it was a very close call.

by Anonymousreply 11501/19/2013

Only because I had not yet seriously revealed my more notorious exploits.

by Anonymousreply 11601/19/2013

The helicopter hanger of a Navy destroyer.

by Anonymousreply 11701/19/2013

r62, in 1978 my high school science teacher took me to Picnic Day at UC Davis for a science project competition (I won!) and to see if I wanted to go to college there. I was a star student and his pet. I had an impossible crush on him. We got to Davis late at night and passed by that drive-in on the freeway.

I was at the wheel of his VW bug when I saw the biggest, glistening cock up in the sky, by the side of the road. Mr. Baker asked me to slow down and pull over. He'd clearly been here before. He said "this is a Biology lesson you won't get at (name of our school)". I was 16 and in shock. We sat there on the shoulder of I-80, watching porn, for what seemed like forever.

I jacked off in the bathroom the minute we got to our motel room. He went there after me. Before bed, my teacher asked me what I thought about the "movie". I said: "that was the biggest, glistening cock I've ever seen in the sky". His comments made it very clear that he was straight and that we were not going to "fool around".

After my presentation and the award ceremony, we drove to Sac State (stayed overnight in the same room again, where I tried my inexperienced best to seduce him to no avail), Berkeley, and SF State to tour the campuses. We had separate beds. I must have jacked off three times under the covers.

I was accepted to UC Berkeley, Davis, and Stanford.

Mr. Baker advised me that although I'd been accepted to the best universities, he'd never seen anyone as happy as when we toured San Francisco and to "not be ashamed of going to a State college for undergrad". Mind you, no mention of other Cal State or Oregon campuses was made. Just SF.

So, I've been in SF since I was 18 and lived happily ever after. I masturbate whenever and wherever I can. Last inappropriate time was at the wheel of my sailboat with a friend on SF Bay as a tourist ferry passed by. Pics have been posted and I'm too old to care.

by Anonymousreply 11801/19/2013

[quote]Pics have been posted

Link please

by Anonymousreply 11901/22/2013

R118 Hey! That's the same drive-in I mentioned in R62 and R63! I graduated from UCD in '74, but I lived there in 1978, too.

by Anonymousreply 12001/22/2013

I'm masturbating right now!

by Anonymousreply 12101/23/2013

When i was a church organist, i jerked off during a funeral in the closet area where all the organ pipes were.

by Anonymousreply 12201/23/2013

"organ pipe"

Is that your pet name for it, R122?

by Anonymousreply 12301/23/2013

Small closet at the Vatican Museum with a museum guard.

by Anonymousreply 12401/23/2013

Not all that odd of a place considering all the other responses, but one of my all-time masturbation places has to be in my freshman year high school changing stall after swimming.

So there were only two stalls to change at in the locker room and neither of them had any type of door or curtain to hide yourself from others, so it was always awkward to change given the typical homophobic teenager, especially when someone was on the right-most stall and someone had to pass them to get to the only other open stall on the left stall.

Anyway, when I was in the left-most stall changing a few days into the swimming curriculum, this guy that I didn't find particularly hot -- but I knew since grade school because I had been his assigned first "friend" that showed him the ins and outs of his new school -- appeared soon after me to change in the stall to my left (the right-most stall).

He didn't know who was in the stall as there was no way to figure out who it was from under the stall without literally checking the person out by looking at the next stall.

I obviously had no idea who it was either, though I did know I was horny but wouldn't dare masturbate right then and there. Especially since it was the month of Ramadan then and it's forbidden during that holy month (I know, I know. -- a gay Muslim -- gasp).

When the guy over from the next stall suddenly yelled out, "don't pass me unless you want to see a dick and an ass", I lost it. One of the hottest jack-offs ever. Cum all over my hands and chest. Luckily, no one was waiting to change and there was toilet paper and a toilet to clean up with and hide the evidence. It was ridiculously hot in the moment, especially since that day I happened to see a hot classmate changing right out in the open with his dick hanging out. The dude's cock was massive, even when flaccid. Another classmate and I noticed him changing, which was awkward for us, but Jesus did I get hard right the. nd there. Dude had a massive cut Latino dick and was hot and had me going the entire swim class.

The guy mentioned earlier and I were never really "friends", by the way. I showed him the ropes of the school and we never really talked a few months later after the 4th grade. The guy was a ghetto Hispanic dude that mixed in with other "ghetto" guys -- mostly other hispanics, some Polish, and other whites. I never fit into that clique, nor would I ever try. I was more of a quite, shy guy that never really had many friends in school, incidentally.

by Anonymousreply 12501/24/2013

R125, get a blog.

by Anonymousreply 12601/24/2013

In Ten-Forward. I was feeling the effects of the synthehol and lost control. Deanna and Beverly saw what I was doing and they blushed and giggled. Luckily, no one reported me to the Captain.

by Anonymousreply 12701/24/2013

On the Disco 'Round

by Anonymousreply 12801/24/2013

In Mr. Spock's Plomik Soup.

by Anonymousreply 12901/24/2013

In Rush Limbaugh's coffee. Long story, but it was very satisfying on my part.

by Anonymousreply 13001/24/2013

The oddest place I ever masturbated was in one of Jeremy Renner's flip-houses.

by Anonymousreply 13101/24/2013

Observation deck of the Eiffel Tower with a French college student on a chilly night around closing time. No one else around so we had the deck to ourselves.

by Anonymousreply 13201/25/2013

In my car on an Interstate passing truckers and getting re-passed by those same truckers until I just couldn't hold it any longer and would explode! Two of them got caught speeding trying to catch up to me to get beside my car again. I felt kind of guilty about that! Just hope they didn't tell the cops why they were speeding!! (I know this because I had a portable CB radio so I could listen to their comments!)

by Anonymousreply 13301/25/2013

In the butt.

by Anonymousreply 13401/25/2013

On James Dean's grave.

by Anonymousreply 13501/25/2013

In school, on the stairs, in front of an old basketball star. I dug his thighs.

by Anonymousreply 13601/25/2013

That's creepy, R135.

by Anonymousreply 13701/25/2013

In some chicks mouth. (She thought I was hot and wanted a taste I obliged)

by Anonymousreply 13801/26/2013

many years ago in the supply room at school with the teachers son. sure miss the good ol days

by Anonymousreply 13905/28/2013

Wrestling is my sport.

by Anonymousreply 14005/28/2013

In Sick Bay after watching The Traveller ravage my nerd son.

by Anonymousreply 14105/28/2013

In a leather recliner in the living room of a family's kids I was babysitting. They had long gone to bed so it's not that salacious.

by Anonymousreply 14205/28/2013

Aboard a USN battleship, at least three times a day for four years.

by Anonymousreply 14305/28/2013
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