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Tonight on Downton Abbey

Lady Cora is tied to a railroad track by kidnappers. The General Strike occurs and railroad workers fail to show up for work. Lord Grantham sympathizes with the cause of the downtrodden workers, but agrees that illegal strikes are just not sporting, so he orders his staff to man the trains in his district and carry on for the good of the empire and for Downton. Downton means everything. Everything.

Dame Maggie Smith finds a suitcase containing a million pounds. It will save Downton Abbey. But Cousin Isobel insists the money be turned in to the local police station lost and found. It is the right thing to do.

Matthew is nearly killed when he cranes his neck too close to the King's horse at Ascot, but his lack of chin saves his life. Lady Mary suffers a bout of sciatica from thrusting her hips forward in an effort to disguise her lack of bosom. She loses her and Matthew's male fetus when she overdoses on laudanum. Her life is saved by Thomas. He had used his WWI medic's training to overdose her in the first place so that he could blame it on O'Brien's nephew, and then be a hero when he saves her using a fireplace bellowes and a high colonic.

Daisy pouts about her lot in life and blames someone else for her blockheaded stupidity.

by Anonymousreply 2701/16/2013

OP, you jerk! Are you the same asshole who posted spoilers last year about Mrs. Pattmore verbally abusing Daisy?!

by Anonymousreply 101/13/2013

R1 is dense, to say the least.

by Anonymousreply 201/13/2013

Has Lady Edith found her chin yet?

All I can say is it's a good thing they had maids, because otherwise it would take Lady Edith about three hours to get a pillow into a pillow case.

by Anonymousreply 301/13/2013

I've already seen the entire season (downloaded the bit torrent), and none of those things happened. None.

by Anonymousreply 401/13/2013

R4 is a little dense, too.

by Anonymousreply 501/13/2013

At last! A plotline for me!

by Anonymousreply 601/13/2013

It really was a surprise when Mr. Carson was cussing out the entire staff. I never will forget the verbal trashing he gave to Thomas. But the bitch had earned it.

by Anonymousreply 701/13/2013

R1 is funny.

by Anonymousreply 801/15/2013

Thomas locks o'Brien's nephew in the linen closet and discards the key. When O'Brien tells Lady Grantham that her nephew is in the closet, Cora says that she understands why O'Brien is concerned, but that it really is better if he stays there, because not everyone is as understanding as the forward-looking residents and staff at Downton.

Cora adds that even though she personally believes everyone -- except for her daughter Edith -- should follow their happiness, certain standards must be upheld, even in the twentieth century.

O'Brien orders two boxes of soap....

by Anonymousreply 901/15/2013

Alfred says that American Jews have horrible table manners. Carson upbraids him and reminds him that certain things are not to be remarked upon by household staff and that all cultural and religious stereotyping is best left to Sir Julian Fellowes, who will depict it with the proper amount of subtlety required short of using a sledgehammer on the viewer, thank you very much.

by Anonymousreply 1001/15/2013

After the wedding debacle, Cora and Robert are alarmed when their middle daughter appears in the drawing room in a morning coat smoking a cigar and demanding to be called Sir Edith.

by Anonymousreply 1101/15/2013

LOL R11. That would be good like a twenties version of George Sand.

by Anonymousreply 1201/15/2013

Intro by Laura Linney:

"On last week's episode of Masterpiece Theater, Robert and Matthew agreed to become joint investors in Downton. But nothing will be the same as tradition is upended to save this ancient house and all it represents."

[Cut to Scene] Lord Grantham and Matthew porky-pigging in white tie:

Shirtcocking and standing in white tie and vests, black socks and garters -- no pants -- whilst Thomas and O'Brien's son work in the background.

by Anonymousreply 1301/15/2013

R2, R2. . . [sigh]

by Anonymousreply 1401/15/2013

After one too many highballs with GrandMaMa Levinson, Laby Sybil arrives at Downton in flapper attire waving a black lacquer ciggie holder. She's dispensed with Tom the chauffeur and taken to organizing a U.S. wing of the Primrose League to recruit for the nearly successful Women's Suffrage movement in the states. Oh, and she aborted the Irish fetus causing all the cramps. Such an inconvenience.

by Anonymousreply 1501/15/2013

Thomas the frustrated gay footman gets picked up by a rough number down at the village pub on his day off and gets fucked silly. At last he has a smile on his face back at the big house. Later in the series he introduces that new underfootman to the joys of rimming and the two boys go mad on both ends of a giant cucumber.

by Anonymousreply 1601/15/2013

How dare you. Daisy is back.. she killed Williams father with her nagging.

by Anonymousreply 1701/15/2013

I beg your pardon, R16, I was promoted to valet.

by Anonymousreply 1801/15/2013

R16,

Vulgarity is NO substitute for wit.

by Anonymousreply 1901/15/2013

It's MR BARROW to you lot.

by Anonymousreply 2001/15/2013

Does NOTHING in that house get past freaking Daisy, the night-crawling, fire-starting, letter-posting little bitch?

And I guess Alfred worked in a hotel where appetizers were never served?

by Anonymousreply 2101/15/2013

Cora must be rescued after Isis mistakes her for Henrietta Pussycat and chases her up one of Downton's tallest specimen trees

by Anonymousreply 2201/15/2013

Cousin Isobel's search for Edna takes her to an unsavory part of London where she is appalled to see a familiar face who pleads for her discretion. She turns to O'Brien for advice.

by Anonymousreply 2301/15/2013

After can argument about money, Lady Mary hides Matthew's eye makeup box.

by Anonymousreply 2401/15/2013

There was some thread about whether Brendan Coyle was a big bear and funnily enough I stumbled onto some Sun article about him finally deciding to settle down and he's been spotted around town with some blonde. I just thought the timing was funny.

by Anonymousreply 2501/15/2013

Coyle's socialist character on Lark Rise to Candleford was more interesting than (if just as stubborn as) Bates. And I liked Mr Carter better in Cranford as Captain Brown.

by Anonymousreply 2601/16/2013

Daisy and Lady Edith spend some time in the boathouse.

by Anonymousreply 2701/16/2013
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