Restaurant Owner in North Carolina Waits for Lesbian Couple to Pay Tab, Then Hands Them Letter Condemning Homosexuality
A married lesbian couple say they had just finished enjoying a meal at The Stingray Café in New Bern, North Carolina, when they were approached by the owner and handed a letter riddled with spelling errors telling them their homosexuality was hurting everyone around them.
The full letter is transcribed below (sic throughout):
God said in the last days that man and women would be lover of self, more then the lover of God.
That man and woman would have unnatural effection for one another. Then, the coming of the Son of Man, who is Jesus. So please, look at your life. See how it hurt every one around you. And ask the Lord to open your eye before it to late.
The Love of Christ
P.S. my daughter also was gay. It destroy her life and my grandson.
Reached for comment by NewsChannel 12, Ed McGovern confirmed the incident as described by Ariel and Shawnee McPhail.
He told the station that the letter was an act of "love," and that this wasn't his first time handing such a letter to a lesbian couple.
He also claimed that he was spurred by the sight of Ariel and Shawnee kissing outside his cafe.
The McPhails deny any PDA — "we don't kiss in public. We were holding hands" — but say it doesn't matter either way.
"If I did kiss my wife in public, what married couple would you go to and say, 'how dare you. You cannot hold hands and you cannot kiss in public therefore you deserve my judgement," Shawnee said. Added Ariel: "If we're experiencing it, then other people are too and that's not fair."
|by Anonymous||reply 141||03/07/2013|
It's time to unleash on this asshole Restaurant Owner.
Drive him out of business.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||01/11/2013|
[quote]It's time to unleash on this asshole Restaurant Owner. Drive him out of business.
This is North Carolina we're talking about. If anything, this stunt will bring in more business.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||01/11/2013|
Of course it destroyed her life when her father is a total bigot.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||01/11/2013|
His restaurant is open on the Sabbath [italic]and[/italic] serves shellfish. For shame!
On a more serious note, somebody posted at Yelp that he's also gotten complaints for allegedly giving black customers poor service.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||01/11/2013|
I remember pulling into a motel in NC and the desk clerk asked me where we (BF and I) were from. It was late at night and it was just him and an old biddy working the switchboard.
"Where ya from?" he asked me.
"San Francisco," I replied.
He laughed and the biddy snorted.
"Well, y'all are in God's country now."
I mean, come on!
Uneducated people rely on religion and bigotry. In most cases, it's all they got.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||01/11/2013|
I would have told him ALL country is God's country, even those places the desk clerk doesn't like. Imagine that, and thank the good Goddess Isis for that.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||01/11/2013|
This is a typical North Carolina resident.
I don't think many people have even been there.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||01/11/2013|
He was stupid enough to do it, it figures he would be too stupid to even think he did anything wrong. Hence, no denial. I'm not giving him credit for being stupid.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||01/11/2013|
These old people are all going to die off soon enough, and in the meantime they have very little influence left. They should have smiled very warmly and said "We appreciate your concern for us", and just left, never to return. If it was a chain like Chickenshit Fillets, then that is another matter.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||01/11/2013|
We've got many many many new immigrants to take up the slack when these people die.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||01/11/2013|
The owner hands a letter to lesbians and a couple of well-placed punches to gay men.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||01/11/2013|
I love the reviews on Yelp!!
|by Anonymous||reply 14||01/11/2013|
Stupid old coot. That's not how you get invited to a threesome that your wife won't do.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||01/11/2013|
I will never live in any of those hell hole states- ever.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||01/11/2013|
Well, Charlie, I think we will probably get along without you here in Texas.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||01/11/2013|
R15 has a great point--don't most normal, heterosexual men love lesbians? Isn't a threesome their greatest fantasy?
I question supposedly hetero men who condemn lesbians. They seem to be closeted homos themselves, fighting the urges.
And I feel very sorry for the wife--any man who behaves this way is a dud in the bedroom and is NO FUCKING FUN.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||01/11/2013|
what kind of self loathing gay person would live in North Carolina or Texas?
|by Anonymous||reply 20||01/11/2013|
What a perfectly ignorant statement, R20.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||01/11/2013|
Those Teabagger assholes are all on their way out, thank god. This will be a much better country when they're six feet under.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||01/11/2013|
R8 ves people points for proudly affirming their hateful bigotry and then calling it an act of love.
You're a douchebag.
Therte's something to be said for a bigot who, at the very least, knows that bigotry is shameful.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||01/11/2013|
Including Texas! Why would I go to a state by choice where the policy of its gov't and governor is to marginalize and discriminate against me? Now if you are there by circumstance, well, I guess you can find people who will treat you with respect. But choose to live in TX, or KT, or NC or... ? Never.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||01/11/2013|
isn't there a blurb in the bible that states judge not lest ye be judged? why dont these religious asswipes adhere to that? they pick and choose what parts of the bible they are going to follow. and why are they so g-d obsessed with other people's sex life? there's something deviantly wrong with these religious nuts.
|by Anonymous||reply 32||01/11/2013|
They are hot, and I have noticed that southern women tend to be very pretty. There's usually a weight issue at some point but even then they retain their pretty faces.
|by Anonymous||reply 33||01/11/2013|
Oh why do people question nature? Stop telling the planet how to run things. It's a safety check set up by nature so the population doesn't explode. A percentage of the population is supposed to be homosexual. People who can't accept that are fighting a losing battle. Guess he doesn't have real hobbies or interests. The church doesn't count. Grow a set and join a real organization as a volunteer and be of service to society. There's so many pressing issues that need tackling.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||01/11/2013|
[quote]He seems well intentioned. It's not like he kicked them out.
How very big of him!
|by Anonymous||reply 35||01/11/2013|
R32, what new and interesting thoughts you have.
|by Anonymous||reply 36||01/11/2013|
To answer my own question, I think that in the south being "pretty" is highly valued, moreso than on the west coast. On the left coast, fitness and an athletic body is highly prized and the face, not so much. The money spent there is moreso on gyms and the upkeep of a fit body. I'm guessing hair salons and makeup lessons are prominent in the southern states, with an obvious lack of attention to athleticism.
The midwest seems to downplay both extremes and settles into a more natural look, although it would lean towards athletic if anything.
The east coast is obviously more into clothing and image, with fake faces, hair and a 'moneied' look being popular.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||01/11/2013|
I've been to New Bern. It is fearfully redneck. But if you want to retire to a warm place on the water, I can't think of anywhere that gives better value for the money.
|by Anonymous||reply 40||01/11/2013|
R18 I think more and more men are starting to realize that lesbians really don't want to partake in their fantasy (shocking). It's the bisexuals that they should target.
|by Anonymous||reply 42||01/11/2013|
There cute and they make a cute couple.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||01/11/2013|
R41- I said by choice- get it, by choice. I realize many gay men and lesbians live in these rabid red states by circumstance- employment, family obligation you name it. But by choice, if given a choice? Never.
|by Anonymous||reply 45||01/11/2013|
Don't think we don't appreciate the favor, Charlie.
|by Anonymous||reply 47||01/11/2013|
Very nice r46! You realize you are emphasizing the obvious, yet stooping to the name calling that is typical of homophobes?
|by Anonymous||reply 49||01/11/2013|
[quote]I've been to New Bern. It is fearfully redneck. But if you want to retire to a warm place on the water, I can't think of anywhere that gives better value for the money.
For this very reason, it is slowly being filled with transplants from the DC area, so it is getting more liberal.
I was joking about their hotness, and hadn't seen their photo, so I stand corrected - not that it mattered anyway.
|by Anonymous||reply 53||01/11/2013|
I don't live in Texas. I live in Austin.
|by Anonymous||reply 56||01/11/2013|
Nice editing-out of the word "dyke" there, R57.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||01/11/2013|
New Bern. North Carolina show in the link, where yokels from New Bern go to visit Bern, Switzerland and are amazed by everything they see.
|by Anonymous||reply 60||01/11/2013|
R39 pegged it. Weather and climate has a definite impact.
R60, it isn't fair to compare anywhere with Switzerland!
|by Anonymous||reply 63||01/11/2013|
[quote]He seems well intentioned. It's not like he kicked them out.
No, he just took their money and waited til they were leaving to humiliate, insult and degrade them. On what fucking planet is this "well intentioned", R25?
Of course trolldar reveals you to be a rather unoriginal troll throughout this thread, but I can't believe this comment wasn't challenged more.
|by Anonymous||reply 64||01/11/2013|
bigotry is never "well intentioned"
|by Anonymous||reply 66||01/11/2013|
I would have whipped out a pen, claimed "Oh dear" just like our grammar troll here and admonish this hick by grading his "paper". Circling all of the mistakes, crossing out misspelled words and finally a big fat F right on the top!
|by Anonymous||reply 67||01/11/2013|
Sorry. Exclaimed? Grammar troll, can you correct my post please?
|by Anonymous||reply 68||01/11/2013|
"It's the type of unmitigated flaming faggotry I absolutely DESPISE."
Oh I think we have a homohobic gay person here...
By choice, by choice. If you live in TX by choice, family, work, etc, OK- out of love for Rick Perry and his wonderful policies? I've been to TX many many times and while I have certainly met nice people etc, not any city or community would make me want to live there- given the policies of the state gov't which are appalling. I know I am overstating, but why would you want to live in a community where you get treated like crap in a local restaurant, where you may get killed if you go to an abortion clinic and where bias crimes are willfully ignored and where your children will be "educated" on creationism?
You know I grew up summers on Nantucket (that will make the poster who slammed me because he thinks I come from an affluent background, and "rarified" social circles in NYC even more upset). I go to Nantucket at this stage of my life out of circumstance- not choice. My family owns property there- I have to take care of it while my parents are still alive (they no longer can because they are very frail). But as soon as both my parents are deceased my siblings and I will sell our property, and I for one, probably will never return. Why? Because Nantucket is full of Republicans- and yes they are antisemetic and homophobic- not all, but too many. And that party in 2013 is just about the most backward political party I have experience in my lifetime.
So you could say I would never have a home on Nantucket by choice- and when I no longer do, I'll keep my childhood memories and leave the plutocrats to their enclaves.
To those of you who are happy in North Carolina, and TX, more power to you. Not for me- not AZ either. OK, flame away. I'm safe and sound in my NYC bubble of tolerance and progressive politics and glad of it.
|by Anonymous||reply 70||01/11/2013|
Outside of Philly, Pennsylvania is pretty bad too.
|by Anonymous||reply 71||01/11/2013|
Charlie, lets go to Candy Mountain!
|by Anonymous||reply 72||01/11/2013|
In North Carolina, Asheville is very gay-friendly, as is the Research Triangle (Chapel Hill, Durham & Raleigh).
|by Anonymous||reply 73||01/11/2013|
I was surprised to hear this happened in New Bern. New Bern is nice. The eastern part of the state is home to a lot of northern retirees. My folks (from Long Island) lived in Washington (not far away) and it was lovely. But I only visited.
|by Anonymous||reply 75||01/11/2013|
Austin is Texas, honey. Or at least it's what Texas should be - multicultural, liberal cowboy heaven.
|by Anonymous||reply 76||01/11/2013|
please, r71. Bucks County is probably the highest concentration of gays in any county in PA.
|by Anonymous||reply 77||01/11/2013|
[quote] Oh I think we have a homohobic gay person here...
Don't be so sure, R70. Quite a few pretenders today, on other threads, who think claiming to be gay will add credibilty to their posts. Caught one on trolldar also claiming to be a straight woman.
|by Anonymous||reply 78||01/11/2013|
Safe in NYC?
I suggest you don't stand too close to the subway tracks.
|by Anonymous||reply 80||01/11/2013|
DL's favorite he-man author, Nicholas Sparks, lives in the Trent Woods subdivision.
|by Anonymous||reply 81||01/11/2013|
[quote]In North Carolina, Asheville is very gay-friendly, as is the Research Triangle (Chapel Hill, Durham & Raleigh).
A colleague of mine who works remotely lives in Asheville and loves it. She's a self-proclaimed lesbian separatist who makes Nan Michiganwomyn look like Phyllis Schlafly.
|by Anonymous||reply 82||01/11/2013|
And yeah I realize there are communities within even rabid red states that are gay friendly...
|by Anonymous||reply 84||01/11/2013|
R79, NYC and Nabtucket MA
|by Anonymous||reply 85||01/11/2013|
R27= the DL equivalent of te Phelps family.
|by Anonymous||reply 87||01/11/2013|
Christ people, get off Charlie's junk and focus on the story. If you want to bash Charlie, make a thread on it. Focus!
|by Anonymous||reply 88||01/11/2013|
r91 YOU are the one who needs to get over it.
It's incredibly offensive. It's the work of an addled brain. It should be publicized if only to shine light on it to watch the roaches scurry away.
|by Anonymous||reply 92||01/11/2013|
Honestly, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I see charlie's point.
Regardless of how jealous of or annoyed people are about him, it seems a pretty basic point:
If you are fortunate enough to have a choice, why would you not consider how GLBT friendly a place is before you decide to live there?
It reads like some of you are responding more to the poster than the position.
|by Anonymous||reply 94||01/11/2013|
Some of the Yelp reviews are hilarious! My favorites so far:
"I didn't want to order shellfish, because the Bible strictly forbids eating any of that, but the whole entire menu is filled with Satan's Crustaceans!"
"Come for the crab cakes! Stay for the intolerance and poor spelling!"
|by Anonymous||reply 96||01/11/2013|
You stick your finger down your throat and start thrashing around on the floor of the restaurant screaming you've been poisoned!!
Try to get some on the owner's shoes,if possible.
It'll cost the restaurant more for cleaning than what the meal cost after they made sure you'd paid with your filthy gay dollars.
Carry your upchucking on out into the street the more thrashing and retching the better.
|by Anonymous||reply 97||01/11/2013|
There is no "fair" in what the asshole did. Period.
|by Anonymous||reply 100||01/11/2013|
[quote]I will never live in any of those hell hole states- ever.
Didn't Charlie grow up in a state that had sodomy laws on the books?
Didn't Charlie grow up in a state that didn't have marriage equality for gays for many, many decades of his life?
Didn't Charlie grow up in an area where gay bars were raided by police on a regular basis?
Maybe he's getting senile and can't remember what it was like.
|by Anonymous||reply 101||01/11/2013|
r41, Martin Luther King? Really?
When gay people in Texas start forcing legal change by protest then you can compare yourself to Dr. King.
And for the record, for all of the civil rights protests, the South had to be integrated by force, from the North.
And while you dismiss the civil rights advances on other states, for gay people New York and California were transformed by people moving to those states to shift the political balance and make change.
|by Anonymous||reply 102||01/11/2013|
A whole gaggle of gays should go in there and hand him a note...
Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
|by Anonymous||reply 103||01/12/2013|
They have a delish buffet served on Sundays all you can eat $3.69 I always double up on the fried hush puppies and sneak a napkin full in my jacket
|by Anonymous||reply 104||01/12/2013|
I'm guessing that bread pudding isn't on the menu.
|by Anonymous||reply 105||01/12/2013|
Is r106 for real? If so, you're a moron!
|by Anonymous||reply 107||01/12/2013|
Jesus doesn't give a fuck if someone is gay. Period.
|by Anonymous||reply 108||01/12/2013|
Why would they pay to eat clams when they have their own?
|by Anonymous||reply 114||01/12/2013|
They look pretty and normal. Glad some lesbians like this is in the news, even if they are complaining. Frankly the guy deserves to get called out.
I have noticed when I've traveled to the coastal areas of NC (I'm from the triangle) I have met some ignorant people. I've met tons of wonderful people there too, but it just stood out compared to the rest of NC. Too bad, because it's a beautiful, affordable place to vacation.
|by Anonymous||reply 115||01/12/2013|
I wonder how being a lesbian supposed "ruined" his daughter's life?
He phrases it like it made her join a lesbian gang and got killed in the crossfire (stray bread pudding?).
But my suspicion is it means she's alive and well, just not talking to her dumbass father.
|by Anonymous||reply 116||01/12/2013|
R112, I was with you for awhile, but your obnoxious name calling makes you nothing more than an illiterate, faggoty cunt.
See what I did there?
NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP.
|by Anonymous||reply 117||01/12/2013|
Just how did they know it was a lesbian couple? A lot of women go out to lunch together. Did they just make a lucky guess or something?
|by Anonymous||reply 118||01/12/2013|
R118, apparently he caught them kissing after they exited. They say they just held hands.
Either way, the fact that they did it after they left (outside the restaurant) makes it worse, he may have suspected from the way they interacted in the restaurant they were gay, and followed them out. Creepy.
|by Anonymous||reply 119||01/12/2013|
[quote] P.S. my daughter also was gay. It destroy her life and my grandson.
Judging from his arrogance, I truly believe HE destroyed his own daughter's life and his grandson's.
|by Anonymous||reply 120||01/12/2013|
[quote]See what I did there?
Yeah. Someone pissed you off enough that you started calling some names, r117.
Meh. It happens. Sometimes it's justified, other times it's not. In the case of gays looking down their noses at other gay and lesbian people for arbitrary reasons of facile, regional snobbery, I think it's justified...or if not justifiable, at least understandable.
If the names bother you so much, start by not using them yourself. I'll try to do the same. You're probably right, thx.
|by Anonymous||reply 121||01/12/2013|
[quote] I think we will probably get along without you here in Texas.
I think there's no question we feel the same way about states like TX given the opportunity, though I wouldn't describe it as "getting along," but more like cured of a cancerous brain tumor.
|by Anonymous||reply 122||01/12/2013|
With a $3.99 All-You-Can-Eat Buffet you'd think he'd be quite accustomed to seeing herds of lesbians trundling through his restaurant on a daily basis.
|by Anonymous||reply 124||01/12/2013|
r95, I'm not talking about it as a political statement, but a lifestyle choice.
Charlie seems to be taking it to an extreme political position (as is his right).
Every GLBT person is different; what they've been through, how they came out, where they are in their lives.
Some of the replies here indicated which areas are gay-friendly prove the point: obviously they've had to think about it.
When an area is that anti-tolerance in general, it just makes sense that some people would decide that they can't or don't want to face the kind of discrimination described in the article.
As to the role model issue, I think the internet has changed the outlook for queer teens a lot.
I'm certainly not looking down at any minority who decides to live there, but that doesn't mean I'm not curious about the reasons.
|by Anonymous||reply 125||01/12/2013|
What he needs to be handed is a good swift kick in the sack.
|by Anonymous||reply 126||01/12/2013|
True fact, but no Southerner will believe it. In 1963, Yankees were 2.6 times more likely to support integration than Southerners.
|by Anonymous||reply 128||01/12/2013|
And yet, r128, there were STILL Southerners who supported equality and Northerners who didn't. If you were interested in stigmatizing prejudice, and not just in perpetuating regional snobbery, you'd know that.
A pic from the noble North:
|by Anonymous||reply 129||01/12/2013|
Nobody argued that all Southerners were evil R129, so that's a straw man.
|by Anonymous||reply 130||01/12/2013|
Er, hardly a strawman if you say "no Southerner will believe it.."
Most Southerners are quite aware of the nation's racist past, and the region's role in it. Judging from the comments on this thread--protests in the South had nothing to do with the civil rights movement? it was all well-meaning whites from the North who fought the battles of the civil rights movement?--one might reasonably wonder if they know MORE.
I've certainly never heard progressive Southerners try to exculpate their history or doff racism off on another region, as if that;s the only place racism resides, and "progressive" Northerners make it a habit without thought. Revolting.
|by Anonymous||reply 131||01/12/2013|
Yeah i know R101, but it ain't like that now Blanch! There is choice. And in 1975 I started a gay student union at my college in the Northeast that is flour flourishing today. Do tell me about it!
By the way- no coincidence why most Fortune 500 companies are not headquartered in the South. They like to maximize human potential by not excluding large part of the talent pool.
This too R101 is a phenomenon of the last 20 years. States like NC and TX hurt themselves with their regressive politics.
|by Anonymous||reply 132||01/12/2013|
Oh, dipshit, charlie. Fortune 500 companies are quite happy to exploit workers in slavelike conditions in third world shitholes with political climates that make the reign of Saddam Hussein look like a boyscout campfire singalong.
If a lot of corporations are in regions outside the south, it has to do with the historic patterns of urbanization and industrialization in our country, not corporate bosses' love of equality and their desire for everyone to join hands and sing kumbaya. Holy shit, you're a ditz.
|by Anonymous||reply 133||01/12/2013|
[quote]a phenomenon of the last 20 years
And sun-belt states like NC and TX have actually seen enormous growth over the past 20 years btw, so your argument doesn't even make sense.
|by Anonymous||reply 134||01/12/2013|
charlie, in this thread you are losing.
|by Anonymous||reply 135||01/13/2013|
What's the best thing about North Carolina?
The road out of it!
|by Anonymous||reply 137||01/13/2013|
How can we spread the word about this? Vacation time is approaching, and this business owner needs to experience the negative economic repercussions his blatant bigotry deserves.
|by Anonymous||reply 138||03/07/2013|
At least he said "gay." in SC, he would have said "sinners."
|by Anonymous||reply 139||03/07/2013|
Now see, she should have refused their business, if that's the way she felt...they don't have public accomodations laws in North Carolina, so there wasn't a legal problem.
|by Anonymous||reply 140||03/07/2013|