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Closeted Celebrities: Where would they be if homophobia and the closet didn't exist?

Name some closeted celebrities and state what you think they'd be doing with their lives if homophobia and the closet ceased to exist

Whitney Houston - still alive, living with Robyn in wedded bliss!

Lindsey Graham - member of the Stonewall Democrats, running an antiques business in Charleston

by Anonymousreply 8709/30/2014

Charlie Crist: living in a fabulous mansion in Key West, partying with oodles of boy toys

by Anonymousreply 101/08/2013

Luke Evans--proudly thanking his husband of 10 years on stage as he accepts his Tony Award

by Anonymousreply 201/08/2013

Taylor Lautner: the new Brent Corrigan.

by Anonymousreply 301/08/2013

Seann William Scott and Reese Rideout (Nick Dent): just married in Washington, but living and biking in Austin, Texas

by Anonymousreply 401/08/2013

Gayle and Oprah: Newlyweds!

by Anonymousreply 501/09/2013

Rupert Everett: still bitter.

by Anonymousreply 601/09/2013

Kaye Ballard and Lena Horne: friends and California neighbors living the lesbian life at age 80+. Kaye has gf; anti-social Lena no gf.

by Anonymousreply 701/09/2013

r6, at least he wouldn't be able to blame coming out for destroying his career

by Anonymousreply 801/09/2013

Rock Hudson and Roddy McDowall in "McMillian and Wife"

by Anonymousreply 901/09/2013

Liberace, Lumberjack.

by Anonymousreply 1001/09/2013

Without the time and energy wasted on beards, cults and lawsuits, Tom Cruise would be a capable respected actor.

by Anonymousreply 1101/09/2013

"Without the time and energy wasted on beards, cults and lawsuits, Tom Cruise would be a capable respected actor."

Nope. He would probably be two steps ahead of the law for fronting some Ponzi scheme involving vitamins or nutritional supplements.

On the flipside, Suri Cruise would be Suri Klein.

by Anonymousreply 1201/09/2013

Aaron Schock: Designer of a Lilly Pulitzer-esque clothing line featuring lots of brights!

by Anonymousreply 1301/10/2013

In Hollywood, it's either pump ass or pump gas.

by Anonymousreply 1401/10/2013

Henry Cavill and Tom Hardy would still be cavorting around London clubs, not giving a fuck who saw them messing around with their boyfriends.

by Anonymousreply 1501/10/2013

Terry Dolan, Republican political operative who died of AIDS, would be a campaigner for marriage equality.

by Anonymousreply 1601/10/2013

Bishop Eddie Long: Running an accepting church that welcomes gays

by Anonymousreply 1701/11/2013

Ramon Navarro would have died peacefully in his sleep

by Anonymousreply 1802/09/2013

Mariska Hargitay and her wife Maria Bello would be raising their 3 children.

by Anonymousreply 1902/09/2013

John Travolta's boyfriend would be ready to leave him, because he won't stop hitting on masseusses.

by Anonymousreply 2002/09/2013

Danny Locklin, the adorable dancer in Hello Dolly, would be married to his husband after having lived with him for 30 years already. Somewhere in the Bay Area, I think, where Danny could fly down to LA for his guest appearance on Glee, Smash. Or directing a dinner theatre production of Chorus Line. And his husband would be pummeling that gorgeous ass.

But let me think about this a bit more.

by Anonymousreply 2102/09/2013

Jared and Jensen - Supernatural soulmates

by Anonymousreply 2202/09/2013

Justin Bieber would be a transgendered teen, living peacefully somewhere in Saskatchewan.

by Anonymousreply 2302/09/2013

Kayne and Frank Ocean have a huge wedding in Paris. Both men wearing tuxedos designed by Riccardo Tisci. Jay Z is the maid of honor and Beyonce is the flower girl.

by Anonymousreply 2402/09/2013

George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg would be married. But they would probably have that Ike and Tina thing going on. Mark's a violent sociopath

by Anonymousreply 2502/10/2013

Ryan Seacrest and Merv Griffith would have been an out proud couple.

by Anonymousreply 2602/10/2013

My favorite thread in a long time!

by Anonymousreply 2702/10/2013

Better, because the energy now spent on covering up could be channeled into creative and publicity opportunities. Hetero fans would still crush on cute and sexy performers just as they always did, with the added thrill of fantasizing that they have what it takes to seduce them into going straight. Gay and lesbian actors would be complimented on their convincing hetero love scenes. Pictorials of their storybook weddings and happy love nests would add billions to the economy as fans strove to recreate their tasteful effects.

by Anonymousreply 2802/10/2013

Sorry, forgot to mention specific celebrities.

The world would thrill to the storybook wedding of Prince Harry and Tom Hiddleston.

by Anonymousreply 2902/10/2013

Marky Mark would be starring in Amateur Straight Guy videos.

by Anonymousreply 3002/10/2013

Yes. There wound be even if religion didn't exist. Look at the havoc Stalin caused and he was an Atheist. Man needs a scapegoat.

by Anonymousreply 3102/10/2013

Oh, misread the title... I thought it read would homophobia exist if there was no closet. Where would they be? Probably openly gay. Not with women.

by Anonymousreply 3202/10/2013


by Anonymousreply 3302/10/2013

"Justin Bieber would be a transgendered teen, living peacefully somewhere in Saskatchewan"


by Anonymousreply 3402/10/2013

[quote]Lindsey Graham - member of the Stonewall Democrats, running an antiques business in Charleston

Were it not for homophobia, there would be no need for the Stonewall Democrats. The potential members would just be Democrats; there is no organization for Democrats with brown hair, for example.

by Anonymousreply 3502/10/2013

Lani O'grady would be alive and happy with a long time GF

by Anonymousreply 3602/10/2013

I also believe that there would be less f l am ers and bulldykes. Gay people will be just like straight people who happen to like the same sex that is it!!

by Anonymousreply 3702/10/2013

Datalounge would not exist for many reasons

by Anonymousreply 3802/10/2013

Has Scott O'Grady come out yet ?

by Anonymousreply 3909/17/2013

Prince Charles and Tony Blair would be sharing a villa in the Costa del Sol in Spain.

by Anonymousreply 4009/17/2013

GREAT thread

by Anonymousreply 4109/17/2013

Prince Charles would be able to stop living a life of perversion, committing bestiality with that horse he is living with, and finally have a healthy, normal (human) affair with one of the male servants.

Just because it's wearing a big hat doesn't mean we don't know it's a horse.

by Anonymousreply 4209/17/2013

you could say the same thing about his sister Princess Anne

by Anonymousreply 4309/17/2013

I've heard at one point or another that all the British royals are poofs. If only it were true for Harry!

by Anonymousreply 4409/17/2013

I'd be on my return tour after coming back from retirement, on tour bus with five dogs that shit wherever they want while I, fat and happy as a clam, eat Philly Cheesesteaks and watch Breaking Bad with my butch wife. We will divorce in a year, then remarry in two. Even though she never moved out of the house.

by Anonymousreply 4509/17/2013

Tom Cruise would be looking for the perfect Stepford Husband to be a Hollywood power couple with.

by Anonymousreply 4609/17/2013

A bit O/T: I don't know why-- I'm not celebrity-crazy at all. And there have been so many celebrities who've had difficult lives and died from drug abuse, etc.. but every time Whitney Houston comes up, her death strikes a chord in me and feel genuinely sad... for a person I only knew from a distance.

by Anonymousreply 4709/17/2013

Kevin Spacey would be a respected stage and screen actor who also runs a big London theatre. His late-night dog-walking stories however would be less elaborate.

by Anonymousreply 4809/18/2013

Kevin Spacey is SUCH a liar. He was even kind of out back around 1991. I worked in a bookstore then as a teen and he came in twice. He wasn't that famous at this point. Both times he was clearly with a male "date"

by Anonymousreply 4909/18/2013

Christopher Meloni would have a bejeweled dogcollar on,nothing else, with MY name stenciled in as owner.

by Anonymousreply 5009/18/2013

Why would you think Graham would be a Democrat? He's a South Carolina conservative - not in 1950 but in late 20th early 21st century America.

by Anonymousreply 5109/18/2013

Wentworth and Luke would have married.

Matt Bomer would be A-list.

by Anonymousreply 5209/18/2013

Lee Pace would be Lee Armitage.

They'd be Mr and Mr Richard Armitage.

by Anonymousreply 5309/18/2013

I'd still love tits and ass.

by Anonymousreply 5409/18/2013

Homophobia and the closet would always exist regardless - religion, no religion - it doesn't matter. There will always be hate, there will always be cowards. Both are human nature.

by Anonymousreply 5509/18/2013

I think Suri Cruise would be Suri Hartnett.

by Anonymousreply 5609/18/2013

R56 Suri Hartnett: truth?

by Anonymousreply 5709/18/2013

Her eyes look more like Hartnett's then Kleins. I just think she looks like Hartnett's kid. One thing for sure, she is not Tom's and he made sure that he and Katie were not married when she was born. His name is on the birth certificate but I didn't see his notarized signature.

by Anonymousreply 5809/18/2013

Reeves would have sued Geffen, for "his half".

by Anonymousreply 5909/18/2013

I'd much rather get fucked by Josh Hartnett than either Cruise or Klein. Much, much rather.

Suri looks so much like Katie IMO, I never think about who her father is. I'll look more carefully next time.

by Anonymousreply 6009/18/2013

Me too, R60. I was actually jealous of Katie Holmes as I read that "Suri Hartnett". I love Josh Hartnett.

by Anonymousreply 6109/18/2013

Queen Latifah - married to her gf and raising a baby together

by Anonymousreply 6209/18/2013

Phyllis Schafly would gave worn beige -- like a good mother of the bridegroom -- when her son John married his partner. And Cardinal George would have been the principal celebrant at the nuptial Mass.

by Anonymousreply 6311/17/2013

Whitney Houston would not need a "comeback tour" she would still be on the charts. She would not be FAT because she would not have allowed it. Dogs behaving like that would have been retired to farms in west Jersey.

Robyn was hardly butch, she was a SHOCKINGLY beautiful woman, (I have seen old photos and she was nearly as perfect beauty as Whitney). I do believe the part about divorcing and remarrying Robyn for sure. Turned out to be a ruinous life without the woman in her orbit.

by Anonymousreply 6409/27/2014

Luther Vandross - 180 pounds, swelte, happy singing a duet with Whitney at a gay bar.

by Anonymousreply 6509/27/2014

Aaron Rodgers - he and Kevin would be the gay version of Tom and Gisele

by Anonymousreply 6609/27/2014

Clooney- not trapped in a beard marriage

by Anonymousreply 6709/27/2014


by Anonymousreply 6809/27/2014

Barbara Mikulski would be president of the United States and would appoint Tammy Baldwin to the Supreme Court

by Anonymousreply 6909/27/2014

Hugh Jackman would be a drag performer

by Anonymousreply 7009/28/2014

Kevin Spacey goes book shopping.

by Anonymousreply 7109/28/2014

The book he is interested in buying.

by Anonymousreply 7209/28/2014

Matt Bomer would be married to Cruise. He has that Stepford quality that another poster mentioned.

Jeremy Renner would not have married his tacky beard. He would finally admit the man he parades around for the last 20 years, is really his longtime partner.

Tom Daley would be dating Bradley Cooper. Sorry Dustin Lance Black.

by Anonymousreply 7309/28/2014

Ed Koch would not have been mayor.

by Anonymousreply 7409/28/2014

Well if they weren't homos none of them would be AIDS infested and we as Americans would be richer as we'd save on taxes for their free SSD

by Anonymousreply 7509/28/2014

Troll alert

by Anonymousreply 7609/28/2014

R75= Angry bitter closeted Christian fatty, who lives in mom's basement.

by Anonymousreply 7709/28/2014

Vin Diesel would have persuaded Paul Walker to explore the same-sex part of his oreintation and they would be a couple.

by Anonymousreply 7809/28/2014

Timberlake would be Mrs. Carter.

by Anonymousreply 7909/28/2014

From what I've heard Jason Carter would be Mrs Timberlake instead.

by Anonymousreply 8009/28/2014

Who the fuck is Jason Carter ?

by Anonymousreply 8109/28/2014


by Anonymousreply 8209/28/2014

[all posts by tedious, racist idiot removed.]

by Anonymousreply 8309/28/2014

Congressman Aaron Schock (R-GAY) would be a department manager at Walmart.

by Anonymousreply 8409/28/2014

Aaron Scock would be a contestant on RuPaul's drag race

by Anonymousreply 8509/28/2014


Henry and Tom had known gay posses before they became big, are they still friendly with those guys?

I remember vividly Henry out in West Hollywood all the time with the gay boys back in the day and one of his friend going on and on about how Henry wasn't gay on his blog, even if no one asked.

by Anonymousreply 8609/30/2014

[R86] You're talking about Henry's friend Corey Spears, the former actor?

by Anonymousreply 8709/30/2014
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