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People who don't acknowledge gifts

I find this the ultimate height of fucking rudeness.

My partner's family is the culprit. In fact, I find this so disgusting, I have considered ending our relationship over it.

We've been together nearly three years and in that time I've gifted his elderly mother, nieces, nephews, sister, and brother at Christmas and birthdays every year.

Not ONCE have I received a thank-you card, and rarely a simple 'thank you for ____' when I next saw them at a family gathering or event.

They are not poor people, but they are uneducated. Nearly all of them have small businesses or other occupations that earn them a nice living. They SHOULD know proper etiquitte and the fact that they don't, yet continue to accept my generous gifts, just pisses me off to no end.

Yes, yes, I know many of you will claim **I** am asshole here, but it just isn't true. Fuck these people.

by Anonymousreply 1201/08/2013

Stop giving them gifts. Use that money to pay for therapy.

by Anonymousreply 101/08/2013

Why would you continue after the 1st year? Sounds like you want something from them they don't want to give you.

by Anonymousreply 201/08/2013

In the past I have failed to acknowledge gifts. I am embarrassed and sorry now.

I understand why you are angry, but I also understand how it can happen.

by Anonymousreply 301/08/2013

I think your anger is righteous. I always think these people think they're 'entitled' to gifts, so no acknowledgment.

I agree with r1 (uh, the stop gifting part) and be sure to tell your partner NOW. Maybe he thinks you're buying their good graces.

Let him know why you're doing this. Does he also give them gifts, or just you. If it's just you, the entitled nut doesn't fall far from the tree

by Anonymousreply 401/08/2013

Were the gifts just for you or were they from your and your partner? Sometimes family will just assume, erroneously, that the thank you is implied. Manners are on the decline in these hectic times but proper etiquette's basic rule is the ability to make one feel comfortable. Anything that you would do that would make them feel bad would be a faux pas on your end...

by Anonymousreply 501/08/2013

Yes, it is rude. Except for the elderly mother, stop giving the others gifts. If they bring it up when they see you, say something like you were never sure if they got the gifts whenever you sent them since you never heard from them (fyi tone, not bitchy tone).

by Anonymousreply 601/08/2013

OP, you mentioned that they are uneducated. Maybe they think you're a snob and want nothing to do with you.

by Anonymousreply 701/08/2013

Just wondering if they give you gifts and what your thank-you notes say. Start giving them gifts that are truly not worthy of a thank you. Used clothing. Useless kitchen tools like a melon baller or something they would never use.

Write them thank you notes for everything. "Thank you so much for your call today. I truly enjoy your company and can't wait to see you again".

Maybe they'll get the message. Give them thank you note stationery as a gift.

by Anonymousreply 801/08/2013

Who cares? I got an overly grateful thank you card for an obligatory gift I sent once. Just say thank you and be done with it. The funny thing is that this same person cuts people down all the time. But apparently a stupid thank you card is supposed to make you forget that.

by Anonymousreply 901/08/2013

[quote]gifted

NO. Gift is a noun, not a verb. You GAVE your partner's family gifts, and they refused to acknowledge them.

Punch and delete, baby.

by Anonymousreply 1001/08/2013

[quote]Give them thank you note stationery as a gift.

I tried that with my sisters' little girls once, & even included beautiful pens & a sheet of pretty stamps. They didn't send me thank-you notes for those nice gifts either.

PS: Thank you, R10.

by Anonymousreply 1101/08/2013

[quote]My partner's family is the culprit. In fact, I find this so disgusting, I have considered ending our relationship over it.

Do your partner a favor and end it. You sound fucking insane.

by Anonymousreply 1201/08/2013
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