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My BF didn't buy me a Christmas present

... again. And it bothers me. Not because I'm greedy or materialistic or need or want anything. I don't. But because gifts are a token of love. It's something nice that you do for your loved ones to make them happy.

We've been together for 12 years and I know he loves me. He tells me all the time. But once in a while it would be nice to get a little ... something. A token. Nothing expensive. Just a little whatever because he wants to and because it might make me smile. I ask for very little.

I get him something every year. This year it was a really nice bathrobe that he needed. I buy him birthday presents every year too. But I never get those either.

He's not very sentimental and claims to not be into birthdays and holidays. But so what? They exist. So do I. He knows what the social conventions are. He's just being thoughtless by ignoring them and leaving me empty handed year after year.

by Anonymousreply 1001/07/2013

[quote]Just a little whatever because he wants to and because it might make me smile. I ask for very little.

Why are you telling us instead of him? You obviously enjoy this type of treatment or you would have mentioned this problem to him sometime during the last 12 years. Stop being a martyr on the internet and start being in a real relationship. Or break up. Whatever. We don't give a shit.

by Anonymousreply 101/07/2013

[quote] We don't give a shit.

You responded very promptly so that's not entirely true, is it.

I know I should talk to him about it, but it's awkward. How do I bring it up without sounding silly?

by Anonymousreply 201/07/2013

[quote] I know I should talk to him about it, but it's awkward. How do I bring it up without sounding silly?

If you've waited 12 years before saying anything, then it's probably too late to say anything.

Does he ever take you out to dinner or to a show or take you away for a weekend?

by Anonymousreply 301/07/2013

Punch and delete.

by Anonymousreply 401/07/2013

[quote]Does he ever take you out to dinner or to a show or take you away for a weekend?

He takes me out for dinner on my birthday. But I have to pick a restaurant and organize and plan it all. But that's fine. I choose a mid-priced place that I know we'll both enjoy.

A show? No. A weekend away? Never.

He has given me gifts in the past. Not many. I can count them on one hand, I think.

I feel silly even bringing this up on Datalounge. But I've been thinking about it lately because of the holidays, and it does actually kind of hurt.

I guess I just kind of miss having a little romance in my life now and then.

by Anonymousreply 501/07/2013

I had a BF like him once. I moved out shortly after Xmas.

by Anonymousreply 601/07/2013

And to make things even more awkward people inevitably ask what we got each other for Christmas. If they're asking just me I answer that he got me a really great winter coat. In reality I bought the fucking coat myself.

When they ask us together I quickly chime in that we don't really exchange gifts. And that's true. We don't EXCHANGE gifts.

by Anonymousreply 801/07/2013

Your relationship is doomed.

You have two choices. Say something to him or stop buying him gifts. Then you won't feel like you're the one getting the raw end of the deal.

But I truly believe that when couples stop doing things like buying gifts that the relationship is over. I think he takes you for granted. Just tell him you would like him to be more romantic and that includes trinkets from time to time.

by Anonymousreply 901/07/2013

I had a BF who tossed me a box, unwrapped, on Christmas and it was a leather dopp kit to keep my toiletries in. I gave him a watch. He never used the watch. I still use the dopp kit. He had good (childhood) friends of his over for Christmas. He gave them a set of matched cheapo candlestick holders, one in each box, addressed to the friend and his BF.

We stopped seeing other a month after Christmas.

by Anonymousreply 1001/07/2013
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