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Does it make you sad to dislike a family member?

I dislike my sister and it makes me sad. It'd be so much easier if I liked her.

by Anonymousreply 3203/04/2013

I disliked my uncle - and then he died.

by Anonymousreply 112/24/2012

Intensely. My brother is really hard to get along with. He's intensely charming at times and the life of the party - and then hypercritical and controlling. You have to walk on eggshells ALL THE TIME.

I haven't talked to him in 4 months, which I feel guilty about but, there are only so many times you put your hand over a flame before you say OUCH, THIS HURTS!

by Anonymousreply 212/25/2012

I don't like you either.

by Anonymousreply 312/25/2012

You disgust me

by Anonymousreply 412/25/2012

Hate is the new love.

by Anonymousreply 512/25/2012

I hate my friend Julie. She's not a family member, but I hate that cunt just the same.

by Anonymousreply 612/25/2012

It really does, OP. My dad spends half his time calling my mom beautiful and perfect to cover up the other half where he sneers at her and mocks her judgment and intelligence. My brother opines loudly and usually incorrectly, echoing FoxNews greatest hits. My mom smiled through it all, ready to explain how a life with Christ will offer eternal life. You can't change them, though showing them affection usually tempers the extremes.

So ready to go home. Flight is at 6.30.

by Anonymousreply 712/25/2012

I neither like nor trust my sister, but I try to play nice for my parents' and niece's sake. She's a pathological liar and totally sneaky. I wish I could like her...unfortunately, I don't.

by Anonymousreply 812/25/2012

No. I don't feel sad. I've no reason to like everyone on the planet. I just avoid those I dislike.

by Anonymousreply 912/25/2012

Just to turn it around, how do you not take it personally when a family member hates you?

I know you can't control other people's behavior, but how do you not personalize other people's feelings?

by Anonymousreply 1012/25/2012

So what?

Someone hates hoo.

I can't imagine how you personalize it. Their feelings do not define me.

by Anonymousreply 1112/25/2012

When one is hated one at least knows they were noticed rather than never seen

by Anonymousreply 1212/25/2012

My family are all flyover trash. I love them, but they make every visit unbearable.

by Anonymousreply 1312/25/2012

I send holiday (Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween) cards, emails and bake and deliver cakes for birthdays for my four siblings and their four children. This year I received one card, from a sister. They are hateful, confused, miserable drunks (siblings) and cowering, angry defenders (niece and nephews).

And I send these things because they're the only family I have, and it honors my late parents. And it makes them crazy.

by Anonymousreply 1412/25/2012

R14 -- STOP NOW! They DON'T appreciate it!

by Anonymousreply 1512/25/2012

I hate this person at work and I am pretty sure it's reciprocal.

Mostly I try not to think about them.

by Anonymousreply 1612/25/2012

Guilty? No.

Sad? Unbelievably so.

by Anonymousreply 1712/27/2012

My father. I made the mistake of allowing him as a friend on Facebook of all places. Well, he doesn't like that I'm left liberal and gay.

So he started a little ad hominem and I promptly blocked his ass.

I also had enough of his shit and didn't want to talk to him anymore. So I told him not to contact me. Haven't spoken to him in over two years now.

by Anonymousreply 1812/27/2012

My cousin is a junkie, liar, troublemaker, and thief. Usually I'm the most compassionate, empathic, sensitive person ever, but I can't bring myself to feel sorry for her. She constantly lies and has spread vicious rumors about me. Still I'm bothered by my feelings toward her. I feel like a hypocrite.

by Anonymousreply 1912/27/2012

I'll always be mad at my parents for having children when they were far from suited for it. My mom begged my dad for a few years until he caved. She wanted a child in order to feel more "normal." It has not been pretty for anyone, and probably never will be. I grew up with no support, and I'm a much more tolerant person than either of them, yet I'm the one who's had to be homeless and learn lessons the scary-hard way. Not them. Although, they are the only people I know upon whom I'd wish my experiences.

by Anonymousreply 2012/27/2012

OP, If your sibling was not related would you still dislike him/her? You're probably better off permanently divorcing them, and avoiding further stress.

by Anonymousreply 2112/27/2012

R10 I agree.

My brother has had an intense hatred for me my ENTIRE life. I'm 22 now, and up until last year I loved my big brother. Last year something changed in me and I realized I didn't have to put up with all of his insults and selfishness. Not sure I'll ever get over it, because it did affect my self esteem (my own BROTHER said those things about me), but for the sake of a peaceful family I just cut him out of my life and stopped trying. He lost a sister, and I have my sanity back

by Anonymousreply 2203/02/2013

sometimes it is good to have an can direct all your hate and dislike towards her and love the rest of the world.

by Anonymousreply 2303/02/2013

I think sometimes people are more sad about the fact they don't have family relationships (for whatever reason), than their specific relatives don't like them.

I'm not sad I hate the people, they really warrant it; I just wish I would've had any love and/or support.

by Anonymousreply 2403/02/2013

I cut off all communication with my sisters in 2009. They gossip about everyone ALL the time - thanks to them, I know which cousin had an affair with my uncle, which cousin spent time in a mental institution, which friend of theirs had a three way, which of their friends are alcoholics, suffer from depression, have kids are on drugs, and on and on. I knew they gossiped about me, too, but I didn't know specifically until 3 years ago. That was it for me, I forgave them but also knew I could never have a relationship with either of them again. I don't miss them at all, and it's a wonderful, liberating feeling when you transition from being hurt or sad to honestly not caring about them. It's very much like a divorce - once there were feelings, but those feelings are long gone.

by Anonymousreply 2503/02/2013

Yes, it makes me sad. If for no other reason than I adored my mother and I feel it somehow reflects poorly on her and she deserves better.

And I really did adore my brother but he is so unreliable (he didn't even show up for our sister's funeral or even talk to her son - his nephew - to expresss his condolences - none of his family did) and he has allowed his selfish wife's wishes to control his life and his son's.

There. I feel better now that I've said it. It is sad.

by Anonymousreply 2603/02/2013

It does make me a bit sad, but being realistic I just have to keep a distance.

I maintain civility for our mother's sake, but that's hardly respected. My sister has her own natural agenda of causing rows at will, an agenda always indulged by others. She's in a smug bubble of indulgence.

I've learned robotic civility to neutralise her games. Not nice, but necessary.

by Anonymousreply 2703/02/2013

You cut off your sisters for gossiping r25 but you just gossiped about them on a gossip site? Oh the irony!

by Anonymousreply 2803/02/2013

Knowing what many of you are like here, I'd bet $$$ that you are the difficult ones in your families, even though you pretend to yourselves otherwise.

by Anonymousreply 2903/02/2013

I know how it feels OP. Family members are supposed to love each other, yet you find some of them hardly lovable. It's sad.

From where I come from it is almost impossible to keep distance with my family members, which makes it worse.

by Anonymousreply 3003/02/2013

OP, Worst mistake was not ignoring the most hateful older sister in the world, who has no respect for me or my boundaries. For example she gave my unlisted phone number and address, which she got without my permission from another sister, to a man who wanted to date me. Worst experience ever. I should have stayed permanently divorced from her and her craziness. Everyone in my family shares my fantasy that I'm adopted anyway. I look, dress, think, and act way too uniquely, rather than following their rigidity.

by Anonymousreply 3103/03/2013

My oldest brother has always been manipulative and deceitful. When our father was alive he never missed an opportunity to try and turn him against my middle brother and I. But to anyone's face? As we say down here, "sugar wouldn't melt in his mouth." And even most people who know the truth about him fall for his shit. I almost never contact him. Only if there is a death in the family or something that would impact what's left of the family. He screwed around on his first wife and was verbally abusive to her, which resulted in a divorce and devastation for his children. He also finds amusement in trying to pit them against each other. So in short(I know---too late), he's NOT a nice man. It does sadden me that I've never really had an oldest brother, or what a real brother is meant to be.

by Anonymousreply 3203/04/2013
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