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A hand puppet has brought new life into our relationship

My boyfriend bought his boss' three year old daughter a hand puppet for Christmas. It's this pink Crank-Yankers looking thing with frizzy hair named Kimmy. He has yet to wrap it. He has been using it to crack me up to no end since Monday. She's become this foul mouthed thing that can't get enough cum. I think we are going to get one of our own. It's funny how another side of his personality just appeared with this puppet. He's actually quite entertaining.

Favorite line so far as Kimmy, "That little bitch is going to feed me to the dog!"

by Anonymousreply 3212/29/2012

OP = Mel Gibson

by Anonymousreply 112/20/2012

The OP has the mentality of a 12 year old.

Next thing you know he'll be shooting up schools and blaming guns, instead of getting the mental health help he needs so desperately.

by Anonymousreply 212/20/2012

freeper cunt at r2

by Anonymousreply 312/20/2012

Ok, have you ever heard the term, you had to be there? I'm so glad I wasn't.

by Anonymousreply 412/20/2012

Instead of buying one for yourselves, sit on his knee, have him shove his hand up your ass, and throw out some one liners. Challenge your friends to spot his lips moving.

by Anonymousreply 512/20/2012

I guess we had to be there OP...

by Anonymousreply 612/20/2012

I think it's a funny story, OP.

by Anonymousreply 712/20/2012

That awkward moment when you're broken up with via puppet.

by Anonymousreply 812/20/2012

Cute story, OP. Though buy a new puppet for the boss' daughter and keep the jizz-covered one for yourselves.

by Anonymousreply 912/20/2012

I get it. It's cute.

by Anonymousreply 1012/20/2012

Put your hand inside the puppet head.

by Anonymousreply 1112/20/2012

OP, make your puppet say,'what is you looking at, foo?!' Then clench your middle finger and ring finger inside the puppet while sniffing loudly. A guaranteed laugh.

by Anonymousreply 1212/21/2012

Sweet story OP!

by Anonymousreply 1312/21/2012

Not wishing bad luck, but the breakup could be a refreshingly bizarre twist on "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf"

by Anonymousreply 1412/21/2012

Sounds like OP's is a house of sad old drunks suffering ennui and mental decrepitude.

by Anonymousreply 1512/21/2012

OP, why do you think your partner has to hide behind a puppet to communicate with you?

by Anonymousreply 1612/21/2012

The kid is going to get a cum soiled puppet? His boss's kid???

You guys are stupid losers.

by Anonymousreply 1712/21/2012

Is the OP the same troll who keeps posting all the cum threads?

You sound disturbed OP. either that or, you're trying too hard. Either way, please go away.

by Anonymousreply 1812/21/2012

I think you SHOULD get one just for you two. Modify it so that when the puppet opens its mouth , there is a fleshlight inside. Loads of ..... laughs will ensue.

by Anonymousreply 1912/21/2012

Y'all are all so damn serious... LOVE the puppet creativity. We should all have something that makes us feel like kids again this time of year.

by Anonymousreply 2012/21/2012

r17, r18 - The OP meant that his partner has given the puppet a slutty personality that loves cum. Not what you were thinking.

by Anonymousreply 2112/21/2012

I had a twisted little trick once who was fascinated by sock monkeys. His entire sex life revolved around pretending to be one, relating as one. Hot as fuck, but I had to walk away from the crazy.

by Anonymousreply 2212/21/2012

[quote]The OP meant that his partner has given the puppet a slutty personality that loves cum.

It's projection. His partner *is* a cumdumpster slut, and he's using a hand puppet to obfuscate the reality that he's getting his ass serviced with raw loads every day at lunch.

by Anonymousreply 2312/21/2012

I can relate. One of my cats also, uh, talks, and she brings out a different side of me, and I can be really quite funny. The cat is a time traveler who has seen anything, knows everyone. Her favourite expression is "I call the shots around here"

by Anonymousreply 2412/21/2012

[quote]One of my cats also, uh, talks, and she brings out a different side of me, and I can be really quite funny.

Your "different side"? That's called multiple personality disorder. Seek help, dear.

by Anonymousreply 2512/21/2012

R24, my brother and I used to do that with our dog when we were both living at home. He would voice our dog and we would have funny banter together. She (our dog), was a renowned athlete and very sassy in these conversations. In reality she was very overweight but still incredibly naughty.

by Anonymousreply 2612/21/2012

Sweet. I'd fuck Topo Gigio. And Mel Ferrer.

by Anonymousreply 2712/21/2012

R22, that's one of the weirdest things I've ever read on DL.

by Anonymousreply 2812/21/2012

In case you want one of your own.

by Anonymousreply 2912/21/2012

OP, thank you so fucking much for this thread.

I'm serious.

r22, r24, and r26 also.

I am old, sick, tired and completely fucked up. I'm an unmedicated bi-polar II who is extremely isolated. I've been known to talk to myself (not hold a conversation, just muse out loud).

I thought I was the only one in the world who was this fucking weird.

I still want to die, but this thread made me feel a bit better.

by Anonymousreply 3012/21/2012

PS, my boyfriend bought one for his mother and I in turn bought one for him.

by Anonymousreply 3112/29/2012

Glad I'm not the only puppet that can't get enough cum.

by Anonymousreply 3212/29/2012
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