A hand puppet has brought new life into our relationship
My boyfriend bought his boss' three year old daughter a hand puppet for Christmas. It's this pink Crank-Yankers looking thing with frizzy hair named Kimmy. He has yet to wrap it. He has been using it to crack me up to no end since Monday. She's become this foul mouthed thing that can't get enough cum. I think we are going to get one of our own. It's funny how another side of his personality just appeared with this puppet. He's actually quite entertaining.
Favorite line so far as Kimmy, "That little bitch is going to feed me to the dog!"
|by Anonymous||reply 32||12/29/2012|
The OP has the mentality of a 12 year old.
Next thing you know he'll be shooting up schools and blaming guns, instead of getting the mental health help he needs so desperately.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||12/20/2012|
Ok, have you ever heard the term, you had to be there? I'm so glad I wasn't.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||12/20/2012|
Instead of buying one for yourselves, sit on his knee, have him shove his hand up your ass, and throw out some one liners. Challenge your friends to spot his lips moving.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||12/20/2012|
I guess we had to be there OP...
|by Anonymous||reply 6||12/20/2012|
I think it's a funny story, OP.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||12/20/2012|
That awkward moment when you're broken up with via puppet.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||12/20/2012|
Cute story, OP. Though buy a new puppet for the boss' daughter and keep the jizz-covered one for yourselves.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||12/20/2012|
Put your hand inside the puppet head.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||12/20/2012|
OP, make your puppet say,'what is you looking at, foo?!' Then clench your middle finger and ring finger inside the puppet while sniffing loudly. A guaranteed laugh.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||12/21/2012|
Not wishing bad luck, but the breakup could be a refreshingly bizarre twist on "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf"
|by Anonymous||reply 14||12/21/2012|
Sounds like OP's is a house of sad old drunks suffering ennui and mental decrepitude.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||12/21/2012|
OP, why do you think your partner has to hide behind a puppet to communicate with you?
|by Anonymous||reply 16||12/21/2012|
The kid is going to get a cum soiled puppet? His boss's kid???
You guys are stupid losers.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||12/21/2012|
Is the OP the same troll who keeps posting all the cum threads?
You sound disturbed OP. either that or, you're trying too hard. Either way, please go away.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||12/21/2012|
I think you SHOULD get one just for you two. Modify it so that when the puppet opens its mouth , there is a fleshlight inside. Loads of ..... laughs will ensue.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||12/21/2012|
Y'all are all so damn serious... LOVE the puppet creativity. We should all have something that makes us feel like kids again this time of year.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||12/21/2012|
r17, r18 - The OP meant that his partner has given the puppet a slutty personality that loves cum. Not what you were thinking.
|by Anonymous||reply 21||12/21/2012|
I had a twisted little trick once who was fascinated by sock monkeys. His entire sex life revolved around pretending to be one, relating as one. Hot as fuck, but I had to walk away from the crazy.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||12/21/2012|
[quote]The OP meant that his partner has given the puppet a slutty personality that loves cum.
It's projection. His partner *is* a cumdumpster slut, and he's using a hand puppet to obfuscate the reality that he's getting his ass serviced with raw loads every day at lunch.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||12/21/2012|
I can relate. One of my cats also, uh, talks, and she brings out a different side of me, and I can be really quite funny. The cat is a time traveler who has seen anything, knows everyone. Her favourite expression is "I call the shots around here"
|by Anonymous||reply 24||12/21/2012|
[quote]One of my cats also, uh, talks, and she brings out a different side of me, and I can be really quite funny.
Your "different side"? That's called multiple personality disorder. Seek help, dear.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||12/21/2012|
R24, my brother and I used to do that with our dog when we were both living at home. He would voice our dog and we would have funny banter together. She (our dog), was a renowned athlete and very sassy in these conversations. In reality she was very overweight but still incredibly naughty.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||12/21/2012|
Sweet. I'd fuck Topo Gigio. And Mel Ferrer.
|by Anonymous||reply 27||12/21/2012|
R22, that's one of the weirdest things I've ever read on DL.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||12/21/2012|
In case you want one of your own.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||12/21/2012|
OP, thank you so fucking much for this thread.
r22, r24, and r26 also.
I am old, sick, tired and completely fucked up. I'm an unmedicated bi-polar II who is extremely isolated. I've been known to talk to myself (not hold a conversation, just muse out loud).
I thought I was the only one in the world who was this fucking weird.
I still want to die, but this thread made me feel a bit better.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||12/21/2012|
PS, my boyfriend bought one for his mother and I in turn bought one for him.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||12/29/2012|
Glad I'm not the only puppet that can't get enough cum.
|by Anonymous||reply 32||12/29/2012|