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I was raped and forced fed matzo ball soup by an chasidic Rabbi. Then he curled my sideburns.

I was thinking this would be a good story line for a screen play. It has pathos, some humor and nutrition too.

I just can't figure out who should play each of the roles.

by Anonymousreply 1412/14/2012

No, OP. Just NO.

Keep trying. Somewhere else.

by Anonymousreply 112/12/2012

Rabbi-Adrien Brody

You-Justin Timberlake

Matzo ball soup-Rosie O'Donnell

by Anonymousreply 212/12/2012

Yeah OP. rape of men is always Hi Larrrrrr ious!

by Anonymousreply 312/12/2012

Where is Ed Wood when we need him?!!

by Anonymousreply 412/12/2012

I vote Christopher Meloni as the one who is raped, he'd have to grow his hair long enough to have his sideburns curled though. There has to be a twisty (like maybe "Let's Twist Again Like We Did Last Summer"?) ending where CM suddenly becomes traumatized and sues for millions of dollars. The end shows the rabbi in a Jack Bennyish "your money or your life" quandary. OY!

by Anonymousreply 512/12/2012

Why don't you finish the script and leave the casting... nobody.

by Anonymousreply 612/12/2012

Do you own a well-worn casting couch?

by Anonymousreply 712/12/2012

This wouldn't even make a good porn.

by Anonymousreply 812/12/2012

The Yiddish Policemen's Union: A Novel: Michael Chabon

by Anonymousreply 912/13/2012

I think I'll name it Love in Williamsburg. I yid you not.

by Anonymousreply 1012/13/2012

"Then he curled my sideburns."

Spitcurls we called them in my day.

by Anonymousreply 1112/13/2012

I'm thinking the perp should be wearing a shirt full of soup stains with dried matzo ball bits in his beard. He should have very full lips that have become swollen from suckery.

by Anonymousreply 1212/14/2012

It could be a hit, many will relate to your story

by Anonymousreply 1312/14/2012

La Spacey as the Rabbi, and Sean William Scott as the "victim" (SWS looked like a hot cubbie in the movie Goon with a scruffy beard).

I'm already getting moist thinking about it.

by Anonymousreply 1412/14/2012
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