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Straight guys who act gay

I don't get it.

I never joke about wanting to bang pussy.

But so many straight guys I know joke about sucking each other off.

by Anonymousreply 5212/26/2012


by Anonymousreply 112/10/2012

How do you know if they're really "joking?"

by Anonymousreply 212/10/2012

Young adult guys joke about it, but in this era, more and more of them want to at least experiment once or twice.

by Anonymousreply 312/10/2012

It's a way of affirming how straight they are. They are so straight they can joke about sucking cock.

by Anonymousreply 412/10/2012

R2, yeah, that's the point.

I finally got up the nerve to say to one of them (in a gang of guys who were joking about this at my gym), 'yeah, this is like high school. But we all know that years after graduation there's that ONE guy who comes out...we just don't know who that is among all of you.'

by Anonymousreply 512/10/2012

Straight guys joke about sucking dick? Really?

I've got to get out more.

by Anonymousreply 612/10/2012

Being gay is considered so weird and bizarre by straight dudes that is one of their favorite topics of ridicule and mockery. They mock it and make it the subject of jokes. Heterosexuality is not funny because it is viewed as moral, normal, and healthy.

by Anonymousreply 712/11/2012

When a straight guy jokes about such things I tune in and usually have him. For one things it shows they don't shy away from the topic

by Anonymousreply 812/11/2012

Guys who constantly joke about this spend their lives in the closet. It really is the thought of men believing that only another guy would know how to properly blow another guy. Sometimes it is just frustration of never getting a decent blow job the way they like it from women. These are the guys who end up with women way below their league, baffling those around them. Prompting people to justify it with "She must suck a mean cock".

by Anonymousreply 912/11/2012

r9, you are fantasizing, dreaming.

by Anonymousreply 1012/11/2012

No such thing OP.

When self declared straight guys act gay, they are just on their way out of the closet but still "officially straight".

by Anonymousreply 1112/11/2012

God this thread is obviously a bunch of eldergays who know nothing about young straight guys.

Yes straight dudes mine a lot of humor from pretending to be gay with each other. It is just meant to be funny and unusually is done by those guys that aren't actual homophobic in the least.

Relax and don't read too much into it. The easiest way to be able to fit in well with guys who are straight is to be able to joke around with them btw.

by Anonymousreply 1212/11/2012

[quote]Heterosexuality is not funny because it is viewed as moral, normal, and healthy.

But since EVERY heterosexual on the planet feels weird, abnormal and sick in the head (especially regarding sex) at various times, they like to project it onto the gay community. It's called passing the buck and it's going to change.

by Anonymousreply 1312/11/2012

John Michael Higgins

by Anonymousreply 1412/11/2012

I know a few guys who do this. In fact I was at a party Saturday where three of them were teasing each other about it. Its just one of those things, like joking about how they are secretly carrying on with the others girlfriend. I dont think it really is about anything more than just guys being guys. Men will, especially when they have enough to drink, often act like little boys.

by Anonymousreply 1512/11/2012

[quote]Straight guys joke about sucking dick? Really?

As a couple people have said, yes, I've known straight guys to joke about sucking dick, being gay, e-ffemi-nate, they especially like to emulate the gayvoice during conversation for laughs, especially when there's a gaggle of them and they've had a lot to drink.

by Anonymousreply 1612/11/2012

[quote]But so many straight guys I know joke about sucking each other off.

There's absolutely nothing funny about that.

by Anonymousreply 1712/11/2012

OP, here.

I mostly see this at my gym. And it's not really 'young' guys, but guys in their late 20s and early to mid-30s.

I figure ONE of them has to be gay and this is his way of dealing with it.

I just hope it's the really hot one.

by Anonymousreply 1812/11/2012

They're gay, OP.

They're just pussies.

by Anonymousreply 1912/11/2012

No, R19.

They're not ALL gay.

Maybe none of them are.

by Anonymousreply 2012/11/2012

My $0.02 from a straight male:

Part of it could be testing each other to see if the others are gay, but my own experience, with the benefit of years of hindsight, is that very few truly straight men will joke about such things. The ones who did in my past I oftend learned later one were gay (through mutual friends etc.).

Sometimes it is done as an insult on one's "manliness," but usually it's clearly a synonym for "weak."

I would say that if I saw a group of guys doing this, one would likely be the instigator, and that would be the gay one, perhaps even fishing for "family" etc.

A hardcore heterosexual, however, will not take to such humor, will generally avoid situations like locker rooms (especially after reading DL), and will generally avoid associating with men in general. Many more "clueless" types will hang with other men and they are the ones who get blindsided (the other side of posts like "that hot guy at work" you see here).

Men do joke about fucking other men's girlfriends, wives, mothers, etc. It's a form of sexual chest-thumping, but again it's usually the insecure, immature, ignorant males who do this. A well-evolved heterosexual isn't going near this territory at all.

by Anonymousreply 2112/11/2012

[quote]"The easiest way to be able to fit in well with guys who are straight is to be able to joke around with them btw."

Disgreed. If you want to blend in with straight men:

1. Don't act stereotypically gay if you wish to be thought straight.

1a. Don't act stereotypically straight, either, since you lack a proper frame of reference, and will likely overdo it. Think of the tone of DL threads about nonsexual issues, like annoying neighbors or something.

2. Don't overreact to their behavior towards you. Don't act like a rejected suitor when you're supposed to just be a friend (women deliberately flaunt other men to their male friends to flush this out).

3. Don't NOTICE every little detail in ways their other male friends do, or at least don't expound on it to them. Think "need to know" as the basic guideline.

4. Don't praise him like you're the fat chick at the bar thinking she has a shot with him at closing time. If you're predatory, ignore this advice, since you might bag a straight guy with low self-esteem who is so emotionally starved he won't notice your dick.

5. If called gay, don't react with a lispy voice about how "Oh no, you're totally straight." (yet your life is a ghost town for women). Get PISSED, or at least concerned that you'd be giving off that vibe.

6. Unless a "straight" guy has tested the waters (such as with a "joke" like in this thread), don't presume he's gay, and DO assume he might be very offended by your advances. Also please don't make excuses to touch him.

by Anonymousreply 2212/11/2012

Hmm. My straight dad has always *acted* very gay, as in flamboyant enough for a stranger to assume, but I don't think he's ever joked around about having homosexual sex. Tricky math.

Anyway, I know what you're talking about. It seems to be mostly immature guys, from my observation. Interestingly, I've also witnessed this among straight girls...all of them have happened to be the crazy/reckless partying variety.

Even if someone isn't gay, I've always thought that maybe it's just fun to playfully pseudo-disturb relationship boundaries. It's not really sexual, and I don't know how to quite put it into words, but I've had that kind of dynamic with people before. But surely it's a case-by-case basis.

by Anonymousreply 2312/11/2012

What if a guy constantly remarks about gay guys finding him hot? Does that mean's he gay or just an egomaniac?

by Anonymousreply 2412/11/2012

I know a guy who joked around like this well into his 30s. I said "Don't say it unless you mean it" and he never did around me again

by Anonymousreply 2512/11/2012

It's the same reason they will rag on a friend by calling him a girl or being feminine. Anything associated with women and femininity including taking a dick is considered funny when put onto a man, because our culture is patriarchal so feminine is seen as silly and lesser. It's like how a man dressed up in traditionally female clothes is a stock joke but a woman dressed in traditionally male clothes is not a joke (it actually makes her be perceived as more serious and tough).

A big component of straight guy humor in our society is suggesting a straight guy is feminine in some way shape or form (including being sexually penetrated). I guess you could liken it to white guys doing blackface stuff for laughs in times gone by, high status "superior" folks (whites; males) pretending to be lower status "inferior, silly" types (blacks; anything feminine) as a joke that's meant to appear ridiculous.

by Anonymousreply 2612/11/2012

That makes sense, R26.

What do you think about gay men who joke around with their female friends in a similar way? For instance, I have one close gay friend who's really tall, and I'm really short. He once said to me, "my penis is totally almost level with your chest--want a nice titty fuck!?" He's very gay, and I knew he didn't mean it (though it's not NOT technically sexual harrassment, lol). And he's not the only gay man I know who frequently remarks in such a way to women. It could be a very related concept.

by Anonymousreply 2712/11/2012

Ewan McGregor. How many times has he played gay?

Scenes of a Sexual Nature

I Love You Phillip Morris

by Anonymousreply 2812/11/2012

R28, in THE PILLOW book he had a sex scene with an older Japanese man. The guy even grabbed Ewan's junk. It was a distant scene, but it was noticeable.

by Anonymousreply 2912/11/2012

Yep, anything that portrays a man as less than very masculine is perceived as funny, weird, icky, or crazy, that is why dudes often mock feminine guys. The active role in male-male sex is not as funny or weird to dudes as the passive role (sucking, being penetrated) because the notion of a man willingly doing anything remotely perceived as non-masculine or womanly is very weird and crazy to most dudes.

by Anonymousreply 3012/11/2012

I had one friend back in high school, total pussyhound, but would always grab my ass and make blow job gestures towards me before laughing them off.

Obviously being in high school, I'd act agitated to not out myself, but secretly, I wanted him inside me badly.

Anyway, if we were seated together in class, I’d purposely drop something, in order to lean forward and pick it up, or just rest my head on the desk, knowing that he’d almost always force my head towards his crotch when I was leaning in that direction.

Again, he’d laugh it off and that was that.

Once, he was leaning up against the door, and I grinded up against him in the same playful manner, and laughed it off. Only thing was, I was completely hard, and he felt it. He never fooled around with me like that again.

by Anonymousreply 3112/11/2012

I never thought of it that way before, r26, but I guess it really is like the sexual equivalent to blackface.

by Anonymousreply 3212/11/2012

Here's the clip. First he strips down to expose himself to the old man. Then they jump into bed together and at 1:55 the old man grabs Ewan's ass. As the camera pulls away a short while later, he reaches between Ewan's legs. (Be sure to disable the parental filter thingie.)

by Anonymousreply 3312/11/2012

Notice that, very rarely do dudes portray the active, "manly" role as funny. Men penetrating or receiving oral sex is not funny because people perceive this as manly, masculine, whereas being penetrated and giving oral is perceived as the subject of ridicule because it is viewed as weird, unmanly, unmasculine, and just not something normal men would ever want to do.

by Anonymousreply 3412/12/2012

A guy was working next door to a house I lived in. My home was above the house he was working on and I had a private set of steps. He kept leaving things on my steps which I had to move to get to my house. He kept moving them back. When I came home one day he was there and I jumped him telling him to keep his shit off my private property. He called me a faggot and a fight ensued that brought the property owner he worked for to intervene and tell him to can it. Sometime later I was in charge of a function in town. He attended and said he remembered me and flirted with me because he wanted a deal only I could give him, it was my gig. I said look come back later and I will see. He did come back later and I told him I had a problem with him calling me a faggot. He was sheepish and I said I think you are the cocksucker. Yes he was, yes he was. He had a good suck of my dick and I gave him a good deal. A load of cum included

by Anonymousreply 3512/12/2012

In my own youth, it was very commonplace for so-called "straight" men to joke about getting head from other men, but not about giving. Even on the "Tonight Show with Johnny Carson", I saw Michael Landon being teases by Johnny about the lack of wives and girlfriends on the Ponderosa. He said that he was often asked if the Cartwrights were gay, and said, "No, the Cartwrights are not gay, but we thank God that HopSing is." Larry Gatlin also joked around quite a bit on the Carson show about getting head from other men. That was on television, but in private, lockerroom situations it was just a constant theme of humor. And apart from humor, I spent my youth in sexual activity with so-called heterosexuals, but most of us were actually closeted bi-sexuals including myself. But there was a huge number of almost exclusive heterosexual men whose only desire with other men was to get a good blowjob from a queer. In recent years, however, most women also suck cock, and there is a huge backlash to the gay political movement, so most younger heterosexual men pretend to be disgusted and angered by the very idea of another man sucking his dick.

by Anonymousreply 3612/12/2012

When men joke or put down guys about same-sex activity, they are always in the dominant role ("suck my " "slob my knob"). Dudes don't place themselves in the passive role when joking or smack-talking about sexual activity because they think receiving is degrading, unmanly. Even most bi and gay dudes don't place themselves in the passive role when smack-talking. It's macho posturing.

by Anonymousreply 3712/12/2012

r26 also explains why the most common/popular insults for men are words associated with the feminine - girly, pussy, douche, etc. DL is just as guilty of this as anywhere else. How often do you see DLers call men pricks or dicks? Hardly ever, but they sure do love calling them douches and pussies.

by Anonymousreply 3812/12/2012

[quote] It is just meant to be funny and unusually is done by those guys that aren't actual homophobic in the least.

It hard to make it work as humor or teasing without the implicit assumption that there is something negative about it.

But maybe (a bit of a stretch) the humor could come from the contrast with someone being SUCH a notorious pussyhound that the suggestion is a bit ridiculous. Like saying to someone who obsessively collects purple things, "I bet you're picking the yellow one this time, right?"

by Anonymousreply 3912/12/2012

R27, it's sort of "safe" flirting, I guess. Part of the "joke" is that it will never happen. So, people can get really exaggerated with mock flirting.

[quote]What if a guy constantly remarks about gay guys finding him hot? Does that mean's he gay or just an egomaniac? Possibly either or both. Last time a guy made this comment to me it was because he genuinely gets hit on by men more often then he gets hit on by women.

by Anonymousreply 4012/12/2012

Once again, the DL over-analyzes and obsesses over straight men.

by Anonymousreply 4112/12/2012

Real straight men who are comfortable with their sexuality always joke around playing gay with some other men. That's just how they are. They can even kiss a guy just for the fun of it or let a guy suck their dick and would not make them less of a man. That's why I love doing it with a straight gorgeous guy!

by Anonymousreply 4212/12/2012

The most effective way to put down a dude is to assert he is not manly or is feminine. That is why people use it so much, including women against men.

by Anonymousreply 4312/12/2012

R34 no, they see the entire act as funny/odd, not just being penetrated. I've seen plenty of straight guys do the mock humping gag (with both being in on it) in front of others or photos for a laugh. The entire act is seen as something taboo that might get a rise out of others.

by Anonymousreply 4412/12/2012

We can't paint them all with the same brush. For some it could be a testing of the waters to see reactions from others. For some others, it could be a put down of gays.

by Anonymousreply 4512/15/2012

[quote]Once again, the DL over-analyzes and obsesses over straight men.

EXACTLY. And R22 sounds like a closet-case who hangs around hot straight guys because he lusts after them but is TERRIFIED of being discovered as a homosexualist. Most of my own friends are straight men, ranging in age from 24 to 40, and not *once* have I had to do anything to "blend in" with them other than being myself. And no, they *never* joke about sucking off guys; sexually confident straight men, which the guys OP is describing clearly *aren't*, don't feel such needs.

by Anonymousreply 4612/15/2012

Some of you speak of straight dudes as if you are not a male yourselves. Perhaps, some of you need to spend more time with straight dudes as bros instead of viewing them as sex objects or as some different gender than you are.

by Anonymousreply 4712/16/2012

Closet cases.

by Anonymousreply 4812/16/2012

I think R47 has a point.

by Anonymousreply 4912/16/2012

I deal with these three clowns in the mailroom, all in their 40's. One always turns the hijinks to talk about his dick or one of the other guys wanting to fuck him. They just kinda look away. Real 7th grader stuff.

by Anonymousreply 5012/16/2012

Dudes joke around. It is part of bring a guy. No big deal

by Anonymousreply 5112/23/2012


by Anonymousreply 5212/26/2012
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