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Eldergay Dating: Etiquette 101

I'm 52 and had a date with an older guy who was 68. We met at a diner for lunch and all he wanted to do was talk about himself!

After what seemed like a long time, I floated a couple of trial balloons about my life but he had no interest and then started talking about himself again. And he is doing this at 68 years old?? I couldn't believe it. I was expecting a very different conversation.

by Anonymousreply 4812/09/2012

Punch and delete.

by Anonymousreply 112/07/2012

OP, this guy has not talked to anyone in many, many years.

by Anonymousreply 312/07/2012

OP that is why is alone at 68.

by Anonymousreply 412/07/2012

Narcissism has no age boundaries & is more prevalent among gay males. Next time a guy goes on & on about himself, run. This type of guy would never find time to listen to or get to know you. All about him & his big ego

by Anonymousreply 512/07/2012

OP, be grateful it was lunch, so you didn't have to put up with him for more than an hour. He probably lives alone, is retired, and can only talk of things in his past because he has no future.

by Anonymousreply 612/07/2012

Yeah, but don't let that stop you from dating older men, or anyone for that much. Just keep dating and find the guy who is not still damaged from his fucked up childhood and wants to know all about you.

by Anonymousreply 712/07/2012

And why is this an eldergay issue? Certainly, the same thing happens on dates of people, gay and straight, of all ages. One goes out and wants to have an exchange of ideas and experiences, and is disappointed by a date who only talks about him or herself.

by Anonymousreply 812/07/2012


by Anonymousreply 912/07/2012

Narcissism is rampant everywhere. Doesn't matter what age. But it's sad that at 68 he still can't talk about anyone but himself.

Try again OP!

by Anonymousreply 1012/07/2012

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 1112/07/2012

Don't punch too hard. You might break something.

by Anonymousreply 1212/07/2012

At 68 he could have early dementia.

Why not date someone your own age? A considerable age difference is one thing; for instance, you dating a 26 year old, while unusual, could still have benefits for the 26 year old. But at 52 I hope you're not seeking a sugar daddy or father figure, and you have to realize that seeking out men more than a decade older than you will narrow your dating pool down to a handful that are, statistically, near mental or physical incapacitation or even death.

by Anonymousreply 1312/07/2012

You are 100% correct, R8. I thought it would be different with someone older.

by Anonymousreply 1412/07/2012

Why is the OP all concerned about getting a chance to talk about himself? Be a good listener, OP. It's not all about you..

by Anonymousreply 1512/07/2012

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 1612/07/2012

R15, I'm a very good listener. I asked a lot of questions and was truly interested so he kept talking about himself the whole time.

When we were talking about travel I kept trying to tell him about my travels and he had zero interest.

by Anonymousreply 1712/07/2012

I can only date someone 5 years younger than me. How men - straight or gay - marry and date people a generation or 2 younger than they are is incomprehensible to me.

I am 48. I understand the sex - but after one r two hours of sex with them, what the hell do you do with the other 22 hours a day?

by Anonymousreply 1812/07/2012

I did this on a date once. I was feeling insecure and trying to cover it up with inane chatter. I couldn't believe how much I was talking about myself. We both knew when we met there wasn't much chemistry (we were the same age...), at least in a physical sense. He one-upped me by talking about himself and the famous friends he knew. It was like we were in a competition. He didn't invite me in for a nightcap.

by Anonymousreply 1912/07/2012

Hmmm, I don't think dementia, R13.

Some elder gays suffer from the same thing that some youngster gays do: social awkwardness. Then there's the part that the 68 has had no one to talk to for decades!!!

by Anonymousreply 2012/07/2012

A friend once complained that the guy he'd just gone on a blind date with was really quiet and barely said a word. I was tipsy at the time so I blurted out, "Maybe you were talking nonstop about yourself and the poor guy didn't have a chance to say anything!" The look of panic on my friend's face let me know I was right but he was a bitch and insisted that it wasn't the case.

My friend is in his late 40s. Oh, and he's an actor (eye roll).

by Anonymousreply 2112/07/2012

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 2212/07/2012

Oh R22! "Twink" refers exclusively to 18-23, maybe 25, but 29 TOPS.

No one over 30 is a twink.

by Anonymousreply 2312/07/2012

R22, the proper name for you would be: someone who needs to eat a sandwich and wear age appropriate clothing.

by Anonymousreply 2412/07/2012

I'm 65, but I have a slim, rocking body. When I dress really hawt and do my fauxhawk right people call me "twink" all the time.

by Anonymousreply 2512/07/2012

Good rule to follow, always meet for coffee on the first meeting. You can get away much quicker if it's not working out.

by Anonymousreply 2612/07/2012

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 2712/07/2012

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 2812/07/2012

I'm sorry, OP, but I think you're way too young to be dating a 68 year old. You're just breaking middle age and he is in a totally different place entirely in his life. I'm sure he'll be bragging to anyone who will listen that he's "Dating" a 52 year old.

by Anonymousreply 2912/07/2012

r23 - I think Jared Leto counts as a twink and he's in his 40s. Pharell is also another example of a 40 year old twink. Liz Lemon's new boyfriend/husband on 30 Rock is very twinky. Same goes for the boyfriend (Ben) on Parks and Rec.

by Anonymousreply 3012/07/2012

R30, I disagree. "Twink" also implies a callowness and lack of life experience that "eldergays" roll their eyes at. Being lanky and boyish-looking doesn't make a 40+ man a twink - he's just a youthful-looking middle-aged man. Leto and Williams have been around the block too many times to be considered twinks.

by Anonymousreply 3112/07/2012

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 3212/07/2012

R4 speaks truth.

by Anonymousreply 3312/07/2012

R39 you probably look like the fattie from Mike and Molly! 39 and you look like a twink my ass I say. You're ancient darling time to get out the wheelchair and head out to the eldergay nursing home.At that age you are no longer a queen BUT a queen mum.

OP how do you get the 68 year old to shut up? Shove your cock in his mouth and make him shut that way. Make sure you cum down his throat for good measure.

by Anonymousreply 3412/07/2012

R34, there is no R39.

by Anonymousreply 3512/07/2012

"But enough about me....what do YOU think of me?"

The C.C.Bloom Syndrome: alive at any age.

by Anonymousreply 3612/07/2012

OP, here's the proper response next time you find yourself in this situation:


by Anonymousreply 3712/07/2012

OP, you were on a lunch date with someone 16 years older than you ... he had no interest in you, talked only of himself. He didn't ask to see you again. Case closed. And you're hurt? Are you dying you're spurned? Why bore us?

by Anonymousreply 3812/07/2012

Lili Taylor looks nothing like Janis Joplin unless you're fucking blind.

by Anonymousreply 3912/07/2012

[quote]39 years old but look 29


by Anonymousreply 4012/07/2012

[quote]I'm 39 years old but look 29 and fairly skinny; if you saw me you'd assume I was a 20-something twink. So would I considered an eldergay?

You have a very dry sense of humor. I didn't catch at first how you made a shallow post about yourself - in a thread about an eldergay wanting to talk about himself.

Well played, sir. Well played.

by Anonymousreply 4112/07/2012

I think R32 is asking if he's an eldergay. I would say no. Eldergay to this 32 year old is 45-50, depending on the man. 35-45 is middle-gayged.

by Anonymousreply 4212/07/2012

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 4312/08/2012

[quote]Why is the OP all concerned about getting a chance to talk about himself? Be a good listener, OP. It's not all about you..

Oh god, I hate people like this. Eldergay apologists who don't even bother to read the fucking thread.

by Anonymousreply 4412/08/2012

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 4512/08/2012

My dad is like this - he's not a narcissist - but he lives on his own & doesn't have a lot of contact with other people so all he thinks about is himself and his opinions on various subjects. I think being self centered is often a symptom of being old and alone.

by Anonymousreply 4612/08/2012

The exchange should be 50/50; I would say talking about yourself only qualifies as narcissistic.

by Anonymousreply 4712/08/2012

I agree that extreme loneliness can cause some older people to act like selfish conversation hogs without realizing it, which is sad. But, why does everyone assume that's the case with this old goat? He could have lots of friends and family that he socializes with regularly. Maybe he's just a narcissistic jerk.

by Anonymousreply 4812/09/2012
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