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My girlfriend is pregnant.

And yes I am a lesbian. Sorry if my typing is unclear but i must of drank half a bottle of Bacardi since we got the news.

Let me summerize in short: Here are the weird things. I have been together with my girlfriend for six years. She is not even femme; she is a dagger (which is like a bull dagger but not as butch as that). She swears she does not know how she got pregnant. I am wanting to believe her in part because we are always together so I don't know how she got pregnant. We even work together at a store.

She has been gaining weight and today we find out she is five months pregnant. What the fuck? Guess I'm about to be a mom. (Did I mention I'm 60?).

Pass the bacardi

by Anonymousreply 18701/30/2014

Oh yeah, immaculate conception sweetie. Hugs

by Anonymousreply 112/07/2012

Hello? Are you suggesting this could be an immaculate conception?

by Anonymousreply 212/07/2012

Wow. Silly question coming: Are you CERTAIN she's pregnant? Was a formal pregnancy test completed (and no, I don't mean the home pregnancy version)?

by Anonymousreply 312/07/2012

OMG, R2.

How is this possible?

by Anonymousreply 412/07/2012

Did you see a bright star streaking through the sky?

Make sure that manger is comfortable enough for your girlfriend.

by Anonymousreply 512/07/2012

Me and a couple of my buddies will each bring a gift when we come to see the child.

by Anonymousreply 712/07/2012

OP you have twice said, we. There has to be a third person in this equasion.

by Anonymousreply 812/07/2012

[quote] .... but we don't even know any men and we are both sober.

[quote] Sorry if my typing is unclear but i must of drank half a bottle of Bacardi since we got the news.

Clearly you drink to much to be the father

by Anonymousreply 912/07/2012

OP...there must have couple of minutes here and there when your girlfriend ran to restroom and bumped into the delivery man coming out of the restroom.

And by the way, you're not going to be a mom, but you will end up being a parent, which rather sucks at 60. Is that what you want? Yuck.

You need to have an open and honest discussion with your girlfriend about the future and with whom she had sex. Is it too late for an abortion?

by Anonymousreply 1012/07/2012

Clearly you drink to much to be the father

Clearly you drink TOO much to be the father

by Anonymousreply 1312/07/2012

Well, it's either:

A) Immaculate Conception.

B) She fucked some guy and is lying to you.

C) She became pregnant taking a bath after a guy who had just jacked off and the tub wasn't cleaned.

D) She had/has sex men and is experiencing a fugue (i.e., dissociative) state and honestly doesn't recall where or with whom she's been.

I go for "B".

by Anonymousreply 1412/07/2012

[quote] Worst queen EST ever

bigot

by Anonymousreply 1512/07/2012

let me get this straight.

you're both lesbians and your girlfriend is pregnant and you happen to be 60 years old?

1 - only one of you is a lesbian. the other is bi 2 - someone cheated on you 3 - the other is young enough to get pregnant 4 - you're a dirty old womyn

by Anonymousreply 1612/07/2012

OP, do you recall eating her out immediately after some guy shot a load of jizz into your mouth?

by Anonymousreply 1712/07/2012

Stupid thread. Bored little troll.

by Anonymousreply 1912/07/2012

There HAS to have been a sperm involved.

Think about abortion or adoption.

by Anonymousreply 2112/07/2012

You sound like you're shackled to each other. Maybe a new baby Jesus is going to be born.

by Anonymousreply 2212/07/2012

Is there any chance she might have been involved with a transgendered partner? Not to be too graphic, but you know....the woman could have said that she was using plastic and it wasn't. In other words, it was "live, not Memorex."

by Anonymousreply 2312/07/2012

You got her pregnant. Your a lesbian trapped in a man's body. Solved.

by Anonymousreply 2412/07/2012

Well, I can clear up one question for you: She got pregnant by a sperm fertilizing an egg.

In most instances, this is accomplished by a man inserting his penis into a woman's vagina and ejaculating. But if your girlfriend has no recollection of any such incident, there is the possibility she was abducted by aliens who inserted an eight inch probe into her that can sometimes fertilize humans. This typically takes place upon spaceships from Zarton, but Plako or Hulupuru are other possibilities. Most of us have been probed with no recollection of the events, but fertilization is rare, only about .01%.

I guess your girlfriend is one of the lucky ones.

by Anonymousreply 2512/07/2012

"1. We drive to work together. 2. We work together. 3. We run errands together. 4. We eat together. 5. We dont' have any friends in this town so we do social things together."

Thoughts?

She sneaked out of the house while you were asleep and had sex with some random guy.

by Anonymousreply 2612/07/2012

Are you sure the fetus is human?

by Anonymousreply 2712/07/2012

Do you have male kittens?

by Anonymousreply 2812/07/2012

She got roofied in a bar, and can't remember some guy raped her? If so, she must have sneaked out in the middle of the night or she wouldn't be there without you knowing. "Abducted by aliens" isn't really a viable option.

Do the math and figure out what she was doing 5 months ago. Were you around then? And how is somebody 5 months pregnant and neither of you notices she's gaining weight? Are you having sex with your clothes off?

Other than that, she's fucking some guy and is lying.

by Anonymousreply 2912/07/2012

Get...a knitting needle!!!

by Anonymousreply 3012/07/2012

Sorry, OP, but you've got an Egg (meets) Sperm Tale on your hands; now you need to find out whose sperm it was.

by Anonymousreply 3112/07/2012

OP, she is either lying to you or

1. She blacked out and had sex with a man.

2. She has a split personality and one of the alters had the sex.

3. She was given the date rape drug, knocked out and some man had sex with her and she has no recollection. Trace back 5 months to see if she recalls and confusing days.

But, honestly you have to look at the obvious, she has cheated on you. There is no way to get pregnant without sperm being involved. Maybe she used a sperm doner or maybe a dude boned her. But you cannot believe that she 1- didn't know for 5 months that she was pregnant, 2- didn't have sex with man. Unless she is mentally challenged she is lying to you.

by Anonymousreply 3212/07/2012

This would be the best "Maury" paternity test show ever.

by Anonymousreply 3312/07/2012

No! No! No! It is not an Immaculate Conception. That is the Catholic doctrine that holds that Mary was born without original sin. You are confusing it with virgin birth or virginal conception.

by Anonymousreply 3412/07/2012

At least we know it wasn't legitimate rape.

by Anonymousreply 3512/07/2012

Sometimes lesbians have sex with men and lie. This was the plot of a recent movie starring Julianne Moore.

by Anonymousreply 3612/07/2012

R10 solved the mystery:

There must have been a couple of minutes here and there when your girlfriend ran to the restroom and bumped into the delivery man coming out of the restroom.

Clearly, you don't do everything together.

by Anonymousreply 3712/07/2012

OP, ask your girlfriend to get a fucking abortion. No child needs to be born into the fuckery that is your relationship.

by Anonymousreply 3812/07/2012

Bull dagger?

by Anonymousreply 3912/07/2012

Yes, what is Bull Dagger?

by Anonymousreply 4012/07/2012

Has her father, uncle, or brother visited in the last five months?

by Anonymousreply 4112/07/2012

Could someone have drugged and raped her, OP? Maybe that's why she didn't know about it?

I do think the most likely scenario is that she's lying but who knows.

by Anonymousreply 4212/07/2012

OP, I believe you should bull up and claim paternity to give this child some stability.

It doesn't matter who the bio-dad is as long as you provide a loving household.

God help the child if it has dander allergies. or a penis.

by Anonymousreply 4312/07/2012

Parthenogenesis. It will be her clonal twin.

by Anonymousreply 4612/07/2012

OP = Chaz Bono

by Anonymousreply 4712/07/2012

Maybe she was raped by a dead guy who lurks in a purgatory like situation in your house.

by Anonymousreply 4812/07/2012

OP --- you're sixty. How old is your pregnant girlfriend.

60 should certainly be old enough to NOT be this stupid. You know how a woman gets pregnant.

I'm going to go with: This. Never. Happened.

by Anonymousreply 5012/07/2012

RE: There have been cases of women getting pregnant without sperm.

Never have heard of such a case, except for the Immaculate Conception.

Wonder why several the DL posters keep trying to blaime relatives and make this a case for incest????

Is this a Real Post guys?

by Anonymousreply 5112/07/2012

R41 for the win. The gf's vehement denial is the tell.

OP, what family member visited 5 months ago?

by Anonymousreply 5212/07/2012

How old is the gf?????

by Anonymousreply 5312/07/2012

This is like that movie with the nun who gave birth in her room and then killed the baby. They couldn't figure out how she got pregnant because she was in a secluded convent.

"Agnes of God" with Meg Tilly and Jane Fonda.

by Anonymousreply 5412/07/2012

Oh come off it OP.

This is just SILD. ("standard Issue Lesbian Drama").

She fucked a man to get pregnant. She's about to become a Mom - not you.You're both messes and there's nothing MORE unattractive than a lesbian mess.

Advice?

Hire a U-Haul and get the fuck out of there!

by Anonymousreply 5512/07/2012

-1/10.

Pathetic attempt!

by Anonymousreply 5612/07/2012

In Saxon Bennett's novel, 'Family Affair', one of the lesbians gets pregnant when the doctor's office gives her artificial insemination, instead of a pap smear.

by Anonymousreply 5712/07/2012

{quote]Well, it's either: A) Immaculate Conception. B) She fucked some guy and is lying to you. C) She became pregnant taking a bath after a guy who had just jacked off and the tub wasn't cleaned. D) She had/has sex men and is experiencing a fugue (i.e., dissociative) state and honestly doesn't recall where or with whom she's been.

E) Rape, in all its versions

by Anonymousreply 5812/07/2012

I predict this thread goes into DL history!

by Anonymousreply 5912/07/2012

I was thinking the same thing r59. I wanted to get a post in before we go into three digits and then split, so I can say I was there from the very start.

by Anonymousreply 6012/07/2012

EST for days.

Suckers.

by Anonymousreply 6212/07/2012

Someone won't be getting their annual invite to Michfest!!!

by Anonymousreply 6312/07/2012

urf

by Anonymousreply 6412/07/2012

Do you own horses?

by Anonymousreply 6512/07/2012

OP - Could you elaborate on the dagger bull-dagger taxonomy?

by Anonymousreply 6612/07/2012

I'm so sorry OP and I can't blame you for drinking, but once it sinks in you will come to realize that you r partner was with a man. Even if she got roofied she would have still remembered being in a fog when she woke up. You must first come to the realization that she was with someone else.

by Anonymousreply 6712/07/2012

Well you could have knocked me over with a shovel the day I found out that I had a baby inside my uterus. I really didn't expect it at all. Beatrice and I had just downed a 3 big pitchers of T&T's our favorite beverage while watching Judge Mills Lane (man is that man hot, I pray for the day when I can be up to my elbow in his dookie pussy) T&T's of course are a lovely concoction of Tanqueray and Tang. So Beatrice and I get a little bit horny watching Mills decide just who is Shwafana's baby daddy and the next thing I know Beatrice's hand is down in my maroon courdoroy gauchos going to town on my septic bristles and I start dripping gal oil like nobody's biz! We're just about to go at it when Beatrice says "Hold the phone" which confused me briefly as "the Phone" is our nickname for Beatrice's enlarged clitoris (it's HUGE!!! The thing is almost as big as Dirk Diggler's Henry) before I realize that she just means hold on a sec.

Crafty Beatrice went into our kitchenette and started making Green Lanterns (our all time favorite drink!) with a twist! Not only were there the usual ingredients Creme De Menthe, Gin, and Scope, but she also added as a little pick me up some Charlie perfume that she stole from the Dollar Store down the street. It was like god in my mouth! Anyway, we were really horny after six or so glasses of these babies (and so drunk that we occasionally involuntarily vomited on the terazzo tile, just bits and pieces, ya know? Thank God Flan doesn't stain!! LOL!) Beatrice came up with an idea in between finger fucking my ghetto pucker and wiping up the blood and vomit trickles on the floor. Inspired perhaps by Shwanafa and her baby she decided it was time for us to have a baby. In between moments of nausea and eyes rolling back in my skull, I agree. After all I wasn't getting any younger and we both felt that we could really make a house a home for our spawn that came from inside of me.

Well in spite of her gigantic clitoris, Beatrice didn't have any fella juice coming out of her, so we had to find a surrogate. What better time than 2:30 am on a Tuesday! Since we live so close to the interstate a potential sire didn't seem to be too much of an obstacle. Having made our way underneath the interstate to check out the 'STALLIONS' we made our selection. His name Clauderoy or at least that's what I think he said in between seizures. LOL!!! He only weighed about 90lbs and he had more absecess on his body than you could shake a stick at, but there was something sweet about him, the way he mumbled and always apologized after he went number two all over himself over and over again. Beatrice (who is strong like bull LOL!!! We were doing Native American impressions all night! Clauderoy really seemed to enjoy them) picked up his feet and dragged him down a gravel road. He really seemed to appreciate our interest in his wellfare, it was that kind of sweetness that really made me decide that he should be the man inside of me.

by Anonymousreply 6812/07/2012

Did she pour a bottle of sprite on the kitchen floor after she told you?

by Anonymousreply 6912/07/2012

Your girlfriend is a dagger, meaning unattractive. You are sixty years old.

She has found some dude willing to fuck her. So on top of being unattractive and unfeminine, she's kind of a whore and a cheater. I bet you pay for most things too, being the older one.

My guess is this is over some kind of drug use, as in getting high with her dealer and sleeping with him as an after thought, like so many promiscious drug addicts do.

He's not picky because he's poor, addicted, and homeless.

Your girlfriend is not sober.

And weirdly, I actually do believe this story as I have known many butch chicks who were whores with men on the side.

by Anonymousreply 7012/07/2012

" must of drank "

First learn your grammar; then. take Biology 101.

by Anonymousreply 7112/07/2012

[quote] I have known many butch chicks who were whores with men on the side.

Could someone please explain why/how straight men are attracted enough to sleep with very butch lesbians?

Years ago some friends of mine, a lesbian couple, went on a hiking trip and came across a couple of buddies who were camping by the trail. To almost anyone it was obvious they were lesbians. One a baby dyke and the girlfriend had been confronted in a women's bathrooms by a woman who was certain she was a man. The guys were very friendly and obviously hitting on the women. They didn't feel threatened at all and said they were perfectly nice, friendly but clueless men. They made some excuse about boyfriends and parted ways very civilly after they broke up camps.

I remember the discussion we had afterwards. They were a little stunned. But were relieved/happy to have met decent people.

by Anonymousreply 7212/07/2012

The only remotely interesting part of this post was the ascension of the term Bull Dagger which I shall now use in my everyday vernacular.

by Anonymousreply 7312/07/2012

They do it on a dare, R73.

by Anonymousreply 7412/07/2012

They like the challenge, R73.

by Anonymousreply 7512/07/2012

I can see that in some circumstances, R75. Stupid frat boys at the bar dare someone to pick up the least attractive girl in the room. I remember "Dog Fight" with Lily Taylor and Joaquin Phoenix.

But my friends and the guys were out in the wilderness, in the middle of nowhere. Each of the guys would have had to partake.

by Anonymousreply 7612/07/2012

Stupidest thread ever.

by Anonymousreply 7812/07/2012

Ah, that was River, not Joaquin in Dog Fight.

I just looked at Lili (with an "i") Taylor's IMDb bio and she seems to be working steadily and under the radar, it seems.

by Anonymousreply 7912/07/2012

Straight men will fuck anything. They will deny it up and down in public saying they have limits and whatnot. But don't believe it for a millisecond.

by Anonymousreply 8012/07/2012

Wasn't MICHFEST five or six months ago?

Man on the clam!

MAN ON THE CLAM!!!!

by Anonymousreply 8112/07/2012

For christ fucking sake! You are too old to be a mother. Get a divorce...your girlfriends been cheating on you. She sure as hell knows how she got pregnant.

by Anonymousreply 8212/07/2012

R77 and R80, I am glad to know that because she was so memorable in that film. Just great. I consider her to be in the top ten of contemporary actresses.

I have wondered why she is not more famous or promoted or appreciated.

by Anonymousreply 8312/07/2012

Stupid mean frat boys and their "pig parties"...

Bitchy gays and women get called "catty" and "mean girlish", etc. but I think they have nothing on straight guys.

by Anonymousreply 8412/07/2012

Our Miss Lili Taylor deserves a thread of her own.

by Anonymousreply 8512/07/2012

OMG she's been cloned! You'll know when the baby looks like an exact replica of your girlfriend.

by Anonymousreply 8612/07/2012

I can't believe all of you are falling for it. This is obviously an EST.

by Anonymousreply 8712/07/2012

R88, I don't think anyone is really falling for it. Just playing along.

by Anonymousreply 8812/07/2012

Your story is a sad and typical one, Mr. OP. You, a true 100% diesel-truck got mixed up with a fish(aka "str8 female") who was just pretending to be a Lesbo.

Kick the fish out and get yourself a real Lesbo!

by Anonymousreply 8912/07/2012

The return of Bonnie Mace! I knew by her second post she was back. Brava, Bonnie. Good, but not as god as previous posts from 10+ years ago.

by Anonymousreply 9012/07/2012

Didn't something like this happen on the X Files and all the babies were born with tails?

by Anonymousreply 9112/07/2012

How can a 60 year old woman not know that the only way to make a baby is with an egg and sperm? This leads me to believe the OP is 12 years old boy and is fucking with everyone here.

by Anonymousreply 9212/07/2012

Coincidence that the Feast of The Immaculate Conception is tomorrow? (Dec 8th)?

But, the thing is, the Immaculate Conception= Mary was conceived without original sin on her Soul. What we have here is a faux Virgin Birth.

by Anonymousreply 9312/07/2012

No original sin on her soul.

Her dirty gash is another matter.

by Anonymousreply 9412/07/2012

Note the complete lack of posts since last night. I think we have another drive-by EST, dammit.

by Anonymousreply 9512/07/2012

[62] = Raci$t Le$bian Vegan Catholic Troll Alert!

by Anonymousreply 9612/07/2012

[R73] Most men will stick their dicks in anything. Even in a woman. Even in bull dagger.

by Anonymousreply 9712/07/2012

[quote]Trust me when I tell you that no lesbian would call her gf a "dagger." In fact, I have never heard that word spoken by anyone, nor it's bullish cousin.

THIS ^^^

by Anonymousreply 9812/07/2012

agreed

by Anonymousreply 9912/07/2012

I can not imagine that a woman could be in her FIFTH month of pregnancy and not know it. That is absolute rubbish! .. She is playing you for a fool, OP. You'd better wake up. Obviously, abortion is not an option at this late date. I suggest registering with an agency to have the child be put up for adoption even before it is born. It deserves better than what the two of you can offer. Be wise. Do the right thing.

by Anonymousreply 10012/07/2012

[quote]I can not imagine that a woman could be in her FIFTH month of pregnancy and not know it. That is absolute rubbish! .. She is playing you for a fool, OP.

While I agree that this is an EST and if, in the very smallish possibility the story is real, that the OP is being played for a fool by someone with blackout issues (or something), this does very weirdly does happen. It's super rare, but...

In some rare cases, women don't stop menstruating or they menstruate very little. The zygote still attaches. Weight gain is explained as just that and some women really don't show very much until the end of their second trimester. You hear about the "I had no idea I was pregnant!" stories every once in a while, even among the marrieds who want kids. It does make you wonder how naive or unself-aware some people are.

And that, sometimes, bodies just don't behave normatively.

by Anonymousreply 10112/07/2012

"Could someone please explain why/how straight men are attracted enough to sleep with very butch lesbians? "

R73, your story takes place out on a backpacking trail, where things are not the same as ordinary life. The guys didn't have to worry about their dates being "streetable", they'd never see each other again, there was nothing else to do after the sun went down, watching the two gals together would have been fine with the guys, and once the sun goes down you can hardly see what anyone looks like.

by Anonymousreply 10212/07/2012

OP, I have one thing to say

by Anonymousreply 10412/07/2012

sorry OP -

she's a whore darlin'

by Anonymousreply 10512/07/2012

Phantom pregnancy perhaps?

Didn't the English Queen Mary Tudor go through this? (not Mary Queen of Scots - Mary Tudor!)

by Anonymousreply 10612/07/2012

Bonny mace. It's been ages.

by Anonymousreply 10712/07/2012

OP, had your girlfriend ever been with a man before she got pregnant? If she hadn't, maybe you could have her hymen checked to see if it's still intact.

I also imagine the Vatican have experts that can verify the athenticity of an immaculate conception, just like they have for miracles. Good luck!!

by Anonymousreply 10812/07/2012

OP -

Gurl, hit me up on Twitter!

by Anonymousreply 10912/07/2012

Did you like my rap/poem, OP? I slaved over it for you.

by Anonymousreply 11112/07/2012

[quote]she might be lying to me.

MIGHT??!?! ... bwaaaa hahahahaha hahahaahah hahahaahah hahahahah hahabwaaaa hahahahaha hahahaahah hahahaahah hahahahah hahabwaaaa hahahahaha hahahaahah hahahaahah hahahahah hahabwaaaa hahahahaha hahahaahah hahahaahah hahahahah hahabwaaaa hahahahaha hahahaahah hahahaahah hahahahah hahabwaaaa hahahahaha hahahaahah hahahaahah hahahahah hahabwaaaa hahahahaha hahahaahah hahahaahah hahahahah hahabwaaaa hahahahaha hahahaahah hahahaahah hahahahah hahabwaaaa hahahahaha hahahaahah hahahaahah hahahahah haha

by Anonymousreply 11312/07/2012

She obviously sat on an Evolutionary Seat, Toilet you moron.

by Anonymousreply 11412/07/2012

[quote] But my girlfriend was not with a guy to our knowledge

Oh boy.

by Anonymousreply 11512/07/2012

Was she riding a tractor while wearing a bikini?

by Anonymousreply 11612/07/2012

LESBIANS OF THE CORN!!

by Anonymousreply 11712/07/2012

I hate the term "bull dagger". It doesn't even make sense - a dagger is a weapon. What does that have to do with a woman's lack of feminine qualities?

by Anonymousreply 11812/07/2012

I'm the father OP.

by Anonymousreply 11912/07/2012

OP, has your girlfriend ever been with a man previously? If not, you could always get her hymen checked to see if it's still intact.

You might also consider contacting the Vatican. They have experts that can determine the veracity of miracles, and I'm sure they do something similar for immaculate conceptions. Good luck!!

by Anonymousreply 12112/07/2012

[quote] She is 26 and we have been together 6 years

So you are 60 and she is 26. You were 54 and she was 20 when you got together. And you do EVERYTHING together.

I'd say that you have more than a pregnancy issue with your relationship.

What is the date range in which the doctor thinks she got pregnant? And where were you both and what where you doing (apart from getting pregnant) then?

by Anonymousreply 12212/07/2012

This is not immaculate conception. Immaculate conception refers to the blessed mother of Christ having been born without sin. Pregnancy without ever having had intercourse is virgin birth, an entirely different phenomenon, although it evidently happens to the same people.

So many people mix these up. It makes me cross. So to speak.

by Anonymousreply 12312/07/2012

I guess your GF is just the recipient of an Enigmatical Sperm Transfer.

by Anonymousreply 12412/07/2012

Wow, OP is 6O and her girlfriend is 26!

Don't worry, you're not becoming a mom. On a related note, congratulations on the new great-grandchild, Op!

by Anonymousreply 12512/07/2012

I don't think the OP ever said she was 60. I think that's yet another myth on this thread that has taken a life of its own.

by Anonymousreply 12612/08/2012

Wow. Can't believe I missed it. I'm actually so shocked it feels like someone impregnated me without me realizing it. Sheesh.

by Anonymousreply 12812/08/2012

Is this the kind of situation that would make an eldergay hiss?

by Anonymousreply 12912/08/2012

"Her dirty gash is another matter."

Seriously? Who talks like that?

by Anonymousreply 13012/08/2012

[quote] OP - Could you elaborate on the dagger bull-dagger taxonomy?

I want to know what Ellen is considered to be. She wears mannish jackets and shirts every day on her show, but also wears makeup. I've heard her described as a "soft butch" but is there a more interesting term, lesbians?

by Anonymousreply 13112/08/2012

Thank you, R124. Jeez, doesn't any attend weekly catechism class anymore?

What would Ellen G. do?

by Anonymousreply 13212/08/2012

Oops, not R5. Too much DL cross-posting.

by Anonymousreply 13312/08/2012

My dirty gash is another matter!

by Anonymousreply 13412/08/2012

No way/

by Anonymousreply 13512/08/2012

Look on the bright side, your GF is gonna have her virginity restored.

And when the three kings show up, send them my way. I'm outta myrr and frankensense.

by Anonymousreply 13612/08/2012

I've heard lesbians refer to themselves as 'bull daggers', so the 'Elderlez' that was saying otherwise is beyond out of the loop.

Why be upset about the 'dagger' term and not the fact that a woman doesn't understand basic human reproduction?

by Anonymousreply 13712/08/2012

Ummm OP never said gf was 26!!

by Anonymousreply 13812/08/2012

Oh sorry yes she did. Seeing as she's so young, she probably slept with someone willingly. Time to have a heart to heart OP.

by Anonymousreply 13912/08/2012

[quote] Ummm OP never said gf was 26!!

Yes, she did - in R111.

by Anonymousreply 14012/08/2012

Sorry OP but your not-so-butch girlfriend has been getting some dick on the side. Maybe experimenting with a bicurious gay dude?

by Anonymousreply 14112/08/2012

I've heard the pregnant girlfriend is being considered for an Oscar. Her performance as the naive, confused young women who utters the moving line "Esme, I swear I don't rightly know how such a thing coulda happened", has been hailed as utter genius by two timing cheaters everywhere.

by Anonymousreply 14212/08/2012

[quote]...but i must [bold]of[/bold] drank half a bottle of Bacardi

That must of resulted in a hangover. Of you gotten over the hangover by this time or do you still of it? Of you told family and friends?

by Anonymousreply 14312/08/2012

This happened to an ex gf of mine. She swore it happened because she went to a gay boys' nude pool party.

by Anonymousreply 14412/08/2012

Well, from what I've heard, a lot of ladies sleep right through it...so no memory.

by Anonymousreply 14512/08/2012

Op, you are her meal ticket, she got caught and she is lying to you.

But just raise the baby together, why not you are already raising one child, why not a second.

by Anonymousreply 14612/08/2012

You shoulda washed the turkey baster after you attempted a home pregnancy last year.

by Anonymousreply 14712/08/2012

Is her name Rosemary by any chance? Has she had any bad dreams lately, or eaten anything with a chalky under taste?

Actually, the saddest thing about this thread is how few appreciate the special guest appearance of Miss Bonnie Mace.

by Anonymousreply 14912/08/2012

Some lesbians are just nasty cunts...period

by Anonymousreply 15012/08/2012

this why i never try on thrift store levi's w/o wearing my thong.

by Anonymousreply 15312/08/2012

Put her ass out and tell her there is no more room in your inn, OP!

by Anonymousreply 15412/08/2012

That's an old Bonnie Mace post from when she was first around, sadly.

by Anonymousreply 15612/08/2012

How sad you are still together. You should tell her to get the hell out!

To be lied to like this is so shameful. For her and for you.

Your relationship is doomed. Get out while you still can.

by Anonymousreply 15712/08/2012

[quote]Well in case anybody cares I've fallen off the wagon hardcore.

It's not that we don't care, dear.; it's that no one believes this thread is true. Embellishing with new details like drinking "at least two bottles of Bacardi a day" only serves to make it LESS plausible. You fucked up early on by claiming you and your bf were sober only one post after you admitted drinking Bacardi. You failed the first rule of trolling: always keep your fake facts straight!

by Anonymousreply 15912/16/2012

Maybe it's a case of Munchcarpet by Proxy.

by Anonymousreply 16012/17/2012

I am not a lesbian, but this happened to me once.

I was pregnant and I didn't know how it happened!

by Anonymousreply 16112/17/2012

[quote] She swears she does not know how she got pregnant. I am wanting to believe her in part because we are always together so I don't know how she got pregnant.

She is SO lying to you.

by Anonymousreply 16212/17/2012

[quote]She says she doesnt' know how she got pregnant. I believe her. Why?

She's lying to you. You believe her because you're a gullible fool.

by Anonymousreply 16312/17/2012

Ejaculation Suppressed Timelessly? Any Early Savior Traits?

by Anonymousreply 16412/17/2012

Oh my! She's already getting fat! That was fast op!!!

Look out, it might be triplets!

by Anonymousreply 16512/17/2012

This to me is most definitely a trhead by the prankster who started the "demonic girlfriend" thread, the "Once around the garden/austmn harvest" thread and the Janicee, weeping vegan lesbian at Thanksgiving thread.

Reads just like his style.

by Anonymousreply 16612/18/2012

"yes the doctor told her that she's pregnant.

now I'm not calling her the Virgin Mary... the dildo says otherwise.... but we don't even know any men and we are both sober."

Ok, your girlfriend is pregnant and you and she don't even know any men.

Is that what you are saying?

Goodbye.

by Anonymousreply 16712/18/2012

She's lying to you and you're too afraid of losing her and being alone that you'll believe anything she tells you. You'd rather live in denial then face the reality of it all.

The age difference alone is telling of the dysfunction that you call a relationship. The fact that you're willing to believe her bullshit...well, maybe you two deserve each other. This is lesbian drama at is finest!

by Anonymousreply 16812/18/2012

OP, maybe you should just look at it as a blessing in disguise. Being a parent can be meaningful, (I've heard), and if you're just going to ignore the realities of the situation anyway, you might as well treat the kid as your own.

by Anonymousreply 16912/18/2012

ACT 2 (10 years later) ---

Elderly lesbian is left with a child to raise when her girlfriend runs off with a 28-year-old male bartender.

by Anonymousreply 17012/18/2012

This never happened.

by Anonymousreply 17112/18/2012

OP, you're not a 'mom', you're a gramma.

by Anonymousreply 17212/18/2012

This has been on here since Pearl Harbor Day, so have we learned anything yet? I don't want to read all 9 pages. I heard the term "bull dagger" 30 years ago in Houston, but I did not know of the lesser degree of just "dagger". My guess is the troll is a male queer from Southeastern Texas about 60 years old. It is true that teenage girls were known to get pregnant from what was called "heavy petting" back in the days when there were virgins who did "everything else except going all the way". I knew a girl who would not believe that she was pregnant until less than a month before the baby was born.

by Anonymousreply 17312/18/2012

WHole thing is made up. If it isn't gf is lying. END OF STORY you gullible cane face!

by Anonymousreply 17412/18/2012

People who think they're doing others a favour by screaming "EST" or "It's all made up!!!" really boggle the mind. Are you really that stupid that you think you're telling people something they don't know or suspect? It really ruins the threads. Who cares if it's not true?

by Anonymousreply 17512/18/2012

R176, they're stupid enough to think they are the ONLY ones who know it's fiction so they MUST rush to warn others.

by Anonymousreply 17612/18/2012

That's hilarious, R178.

by Anonymousreply 17812/19/2012

"yes the doctor told her that she's pregnant."

Doctor Who?

by Anonymousreply 17912/21/2012

call Rosie ASAP

by Anonymousreply 18012/21/2012

Has the bastard been born yet?

Well? Hmmmmnnnnn??

by Anonymousreply 18109/04/2013

Well? Hmmmmnnnnn??

by Anonymousreply 18209/18/2013

This post had all the makings of a classic: lesbians, infidelity, alcohol and children. Unfortunately, this needed more E and less T.

by Anonymousreply 18309/18/2013

Trust me honey it onlytakes a second to get pregnant.. she could have done it when she went on her lunch break! Lol

by Anonymousreply 18401/30/2014

Didn't this happen on an episode of the Golden Girls? Blanche thought she was pregnant and it was really menopause? There you go.

by Anonymousreply 18501/30/2014

I can't believe how many people don't understand what 'immaculate conception' means, and worse, all the people bandying about that term were probably raised catholic.

by Anonymousreply 18601/30/2014
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