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The most wrongheaded decisions in entertainment history: what was said

"Re-making The Jazz Singer is a great idea, but let's star Neil Diamond to bring in the kids... and then add Larry Olivier to class the whole thing up!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 27012/16/2012

"Our fans desperately want to hear me sing the theme song differently. They're tired of the same old thing each year."

by studio executive, 1980reply 112/05/2012

"Well, I guess just one chocolate eclair won't hurt me."

by studio executive, 1980reply 212/05/2012

"Betty Buckley will spruce up that family comedy just right!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 312/05/2012

"If we take LOST HORIZON and add songs, we could have the next SOUND OF MUSIC."

by studio executive, 1980reply 412/05/2012

"Of course Russell Crowe can sing! He's in a rock band, isn't he?"

by studio executive, 1980reply 512/05/2012

"Don't you think we're underplaying this a bit? Joan was an actress, she was always theatrical on and off the screen. I have an idea how we can make that confrontation scene in the living room play better."

by studio executive, 1980reply 612/05/2012

"Pierce Brosnan sings every bit as well as Rex Harrison, and he won an Oscar, dammit!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 712/05/2012

Everyone loves Lucy!! Of course they'll LOVE her as Mame!!

by studio executive, 1980reply 812/05/2012

"Let's do a prequel!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 912/05/2012

We don't need to do more auditions to replace Winona...I'll just let my daughter do it.

by studio executive, 1980reply 1012/05/2012

"Be ready to bring the chopper down low and don't let the explosions unnerve you. I want to see a real look of terror on Vic Morrow and those kids' faces!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 1112/05/2012

No Jennifer, you look thin....don't worry about your hips.

by studio executive, 1980reply 1212/05/2012

We need to heighten the emotion here... say, what if we used an actual color filter at "bright canary yellow"?

by studio executive, 1980reply 1312/05/2012

I'm going to call Oksana and tell her exactly WHO is the BOSS... and there's nothing she can do about it!

by studio executive, 1980reply 1412/05/2012

"Let's give the Superman rights to Jon Peters!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 1512/05/2012

Let's make the Wild WIld West into a movie, and spend $100 million doing it, but best of all, we'll cast Will Smith!! Can't lose!

by studio executive, 1980reply 1612/05/2012

Why spend money on a publicist? I'll just get my sister to handle it.

by studio executive, 1980reply 1712/05/2012

"Let's make a realistic film about Las Vegas showgirls a la All About Eve. Guys and girls will love it. Guys will go for all the tons of female nudity and girls will really relate to Nomi's plight of an ex-prostitute turned stripper who wants to be a dancer. Win win!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 1812/05/2012

"Heather Graham in a network show. This is gonna last for years, let's plaster America with ads for it!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 1912/05/2012

My daughter is a talented actress and will fit right in with the pantheon of great actors in the final film of my Godfather trilogy.

by studio executive, 1980reply 2012/05/2012

"Clint Eastwood, Lee Marvin, and Jean Seberg may not be able to sing, but the audience will never care -- especially if we make the picture almost three hours long!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 2112/05/2012

"We can call it ISHTAR!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 2212/05/2012

"I know!!! We need to simplify the title to...JOHN CARTER"!!!!

by studio executive, 1980reply 2312/05/2012

Let's put Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and theTooth Fairy in a movie, but make them weird and creepy-looking!

by studio executive, 1980reply 2412/05/2012

"Nicole, now that I own your soul, you'll be working with Lars Von Trier. Now, I know it's soul-crushing, but you've already been through that with the clams - right? I have a wonderful new treatment called Botox to keep you from crying non-stop. It'll be fun. Fun like Tom."

by studio executive, 1980reply 2512/05/2012

Here's the pitch: a MUSICAL featuring the music of THE BEATLES telling the story of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club band and that guy, whoever, what's his name? Oh yeah, Billy Shears. And get this: it stars PETER FRAMPTON and the BEE GEES! The most popular rock acts around! Jesus, what a boffo idea! And the rest of the cast will be a spectacular assortment of A-listers like George Burns, Billy Preston, Alice Cooper, and Earth, Wind and Fire! OK, so there's no script to speak of. And Frampton and the Bee Gees and most of the star cast can't act their way out of a paper bag. But it's FRAMPTON and the BEE GEES and the music of the Beatles! Every kid in America will want to see this! It'll be this generation's "Gone With the Wind!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 2712/05/2012

Let me get this straight: you want HBO to air a series about an advertising executive in the early 1960s? Starring some random dude named Hamm? HBO is a serious company on a serious roll. We aren't interested in soap operas. We win awards for excellence. Get outta here.

by studio executive, 1980reply 2812/05/2012

"Now Samantha, I want you to be a good little girl and do whatever Mr. Polanski tells you to."

by studio executive, 1980reply 2912/05/2012

"I know how we can get all the baby boomers AND Transformers fans! We acquire the rights to the board game BATTLESHIP, hire a hack director and cast hot actors like Taylor Kitsch and pop sensation Rihanna! What? A SCRIPT??? WHo needs a script with all of these surefire elements???"

by studio executive, 1980reply 3012/05/2012

"Sting wants to be in our movie! We'll need actors that make him look good. Is the flashdance girl available?"

by studio executive, 1980reply 3112/05/2012

"Cast, I'd like to introduce you to Robbie Rist - He'll be playing cousin Oliver!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 3212/05/2012

Barbra will be wonderful as Dolly!

by studio executive, 1980reply 3312/05/2012

I'd like to cast my wife, a girl with a big mouth from Wareham, MA.

I've proven myself with Cliffhanger.

Now give me the $100 million and watch the revenues come in!

by studio executive, 1980reply 3412/05/2012

Uh-oh, we'll have to use the forceps for Mrs. Stallone's delivery! But first, let me finish this delicious buttered toast.

by studio executive, 1980reply 3512/05/2012

"Hmmm....I'll tell tell you what - throw a real boffo leading man into the mix - a Matthew Modine type - and you've got yourself a picture, R34!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 3612/05/2012

Of course Christina Aguilera is leading lady material!

by studio executive, 1980reply 3712/05/2012

Mariah Carey making her film debut in a semi-autobiographical musical? We've got a HIT on our hands!

by studio executive, 1980reply 3812/05/2012

" Ax the Garland Show. No one will miss it."

by studio executive, 1980reply 3912/05/2012

I know she was basically playing herself in 'Susan', but I think Madonna has the chops for another movie, more in the madcap comedy vein. Who wouldn't want to see Madonna on screen?

by studio executive, 1980reply 4012/05/2012

That Jimmy Saville just LOVES kids. Let's have him host "Top of the Pops"!

by studio executive, 1980reply 4112/05/2012

This year if I win the Oscar again, I'm just going to wing it when I go up to the mike.

by studio executive, 1980reply 4212/05/2012

Whitney, there has been a lot of speculation in the press about your drug use. We need to do some damage control and rehabilitate your image in the media. An interview with Diane Sawyer would be just perfect!

by studio executive, 1980reply 4312/05/2012

Farewell television, hello silver screen!

by studio executive, 1980reply 4412/05/2012

Let's cut the stripping footage. The audience really wants to spend more time with Cody Horn.

by studio executive, 1980reply 4512/05/2012

"Five words: Lindsay Lohan as Liz Taylor!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 4612/05/2012

"A musical based on 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'? With MTM and Richard Chamberlain? It'll run for YEARS!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 4712/05/2012

"Everyone remembers Aimee Semple McPherson ... why don't I write a musical about her?"

by studio executive, 1980reply 4812/05/2012

"A sitcom starring [fill in the blank]? It can't miss!"

Options:

Nathan Lane

Emeril Lagasse

Bette Midler

Shirley Jones

Shirley MacLaine

Debbie Reynolds

Jean Arthur

Henry Fonda

by studio executive, 1980reply 4912/05/2012

This can't miss!!! Kevin Costner in a post-apocalyptic future western/action film!! And we are so confident in his vision that we will allow him complete final cut!!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 5012/05/2012

"Mr. Prinze, I think the song you should listen to is 'Happiness is a Warm Gun.'"

by studio executive, 1980reply 5112/05/2012

"We need a Mickey Rooney type to play the Japanese landlord. Say, what's Mickey doing?"

by studio executive, 1980reply 5212/05/2012

"Dustin Hoffman in DRAG? Good grief, what are you thinking. That has flop written all over it. "

by studio executive, 1980reply 5312/05/2012

Elizabeth Berkley can become in a star in this great script I just read for a movie called "Showgirls." It is going to put her on the map, I tell ya!

by studio executive, 1980reply 5412/05/2012

"Thanks, Reverend. I agree, it'll be great to get this off my chest and tell everyone what I really think about 'Two and a Half Men.'"

by studio executive, 1980reply 5512/05/2012

"No Miss Crawford, I would say your eyebrows aren't prominent ENOUGH!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 5612/05/2012

"There's this crazy girl who talks in a helium voice and does headstands. The audience will love her, and I think she'd be a great foil to Nora and Jan."

by studio executive, 1980reply 5712/05/2012

"Let's make a TV comedy series with American soldiers in a Nazi prisoner-of-war camp!"

Surprisingly, the show was better than it sounded on paper, although its star Bob Crane was later murdered in seamy circumstances, as immortalized in the film "Auto Focus."

by studio executive, 1980reply 5812/05/2012

"Winona's out, so I'm going with Sofia. I fought for Marlon, and this'll fly too. Think I'd ruin up my trilogy with nepotism? Please."

by studio executive, 1980reply 5912/05/2012

"So, Mr. Depp, let me make sure I have this right. You want it to read W-I-N-O-N-A F-O-R-E-V-E-R?"

by studio executive, 1980reply 6012/05/2012

"We'll do an update of Planet of the Apes, but cover up all of Mark Wahlberg. Nobody wants to see him in a loin cloth."

by studio executive, 1980reply 6112/05/2012

"Of course Julia can do an Irish accent!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 6212/05/2012

"It'll be great fun directing Madonna. Any creative tension will just enhance the film. It should be a lively shoot, then we can all enjoy our war stories in due course."

by studio executive, 1980reply 6312/05/2012

"Just thin the bridge of my nose and even my skin tone. That'll do."

by studio executive, 1980reply 6412/05/2012

Let's let Madonna direct a movie!

by studio executive, 1980reply 6512/05/2012

Madonna And Sean Penn are the new Bogie and Bacall!!! "Shanghai Surprise" is going to be a monster smash!!!

by studio executive, 1980reply 6612/05/2012

"That latest Vidal novel, 'Myra Breckenridge' would make a terrific movie! And let's get Mae West and Rex Reed to star! Boffo box office for sure!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 6712/05/2012

"The only person I can see directing this disco extravanza is Rhoda's mom."

by studio executive, 1980reply 6812/05/2012

"Who's not gonna love Jay Leno five nights a week in primetime? The affiliates will eat it up!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 6912/05/2012

"This Karen Cellini has a quality..."

by studio executive, 1980reply 7012/05/2012

"'Thirtysomething is such a huge hit; let's do a dramatic version of 'The Brady Bunch'!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 7112/05/2012

The public loves Mary Tyler Moore! let's let her do a weekly variety show.

by studio executive, 1980reply 7212/05/2012

Lily Tomlin and John Travolta in a romantic drama....those two are bound to generate tons of chemistry!

by studio executive, 1980reply 7312/05/2012

"Sure, Jayne, we can go for a ride in your new convertible!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 7412/05/2012

Who needs a script....Carroll Baker looks just LIKE Jean Harlow!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 7512/05/2012

"C'mon, John ... it's just one more speedball? What could go wrong?"

by studio executive, 1980reply 7612/05/2012

NYPD has served its purpose of launching me into stardom. Next stop: hit Hollywood movies.

by studio executive, 1980reply 7712/05/2012

"Judy, all you have to do is take these and you'll have tons of energy."

by studio executive, 1980reply 7812/05/2012

"I'm carrying this one to term."

by studio executive, 1980reply 7912/05/2012

r79: game, set and match. Well played.

by studio executive, 1980reply 8012/05/2012

"Meryl's daughter as an MD? Sure, why not?"

by studio executive, 1980reply 8112/05/2012

Audiences loved Psycho, so they'll love a shot for shot remake! Let's add Anne Heche to ensure boxoffice success!

by studio executive, 1980reply 8212/05/2012

"You say they still need more money to finish 'Cleopatra'? No problem -- tell them the sky's the limit. Taylor and Burton?- it can't miss! And we're 20th Century Fox, goddammit-- we're loaded with money."

by studio executive, 1980reply 8312/05/2012

"Singing policemen, you say? And starring your wife, Barbara Bosson? Sign us up! We want to be in the Steven Bochco business!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 8412/05/2012

"Yes, Mr. Hexum. We feel that having live ammunition on the set enhances the real life feel of the show."

by studio executive, 1980reply 8512/05/2012

"Another Coke, Ms. Rappé?"

by studio executive, 1980reply 8612/05/2012

Nobody cares WHO plays Bond. A monkey could play Bond.

by studio executive, 1980reply 8712/05/2012

"The romance between Ben and Jennifer will translate successfully to the big screen. I can already sense that smoldering chemistry between them."

by studio executive, 1980reply 8812/05/2012

It wasn't live ammo, r85. But even blanks can kill if they are fired right into your brain from an inch away.

by studio executive, 1980reply 8912/05/2012

I'd say 98% of these decisions were influenced by coke.

by studio executive, 1980reply 9012/05/2012

I voted r79 for wit and wisdom

by studio executive, 1980reply 9112/05/2012

...and Keanu as Jonathan Harker!

by studio executive, 1980reply 9212/05/2012

I just started working with clay.

by studio executive, 1980reply 9312/05/2012

"Brad Pitt is perfect for Meet Joe Black!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 9412/05/2012

"Jane Pauley is washed up. Let's elevate that Deborah Norville and get things back on track."

by studio executive, 1980reply 9512/05/2012

"Middle aged GBM Puppeteer seeks barely legal companion for furballing, more."

by studio executive, 1980reply 9612/05/2012

well let's all just stop what we are doing and give r91 a round of applause.

by studio executive, 1980reply 9712/05/2012

Micky Rooney as a Japanese man? HIRARIOUS!!! (Get it? HiRarious!)

by studio executive, 1980reply 9812/05/2012

"Hey Courtney. What? Oh, sure I can show you how to play a power chord."

by studio executive, 1980reply 9912/05/2012

Gosh, I guess I'll just open my big yapper today and see what flies out.

by studio executive, 1980reply 10012/05/2012

Taylor Miller as Sally Frame! This can't go wrong!

by studio executive, 1980reply 10112/05/2012

"Okay, RJ. Just a tiny l'il nightcap, then."

by studio executive, 1980reply 10212/05/2012

Sure Barbra...you can play the $1,000 a night hooker in Nuts..lots of men would pay that much to be with a girl who looks like you

by studio executive, 1980reply 10312/05/2012

"Sure, I'd love to take the free Stress Test! Where are we going again?"

by studio executive, 1980reply 10412/05/2012

The Brady Bunch has a little kid named Cousin Oliver. The Partridge Family needs a little kid. And let's show we believe in diversity -- cast a Puerto Rican. He can't sing? So what? Everyone on the show lip synchs anyway.

Valerie, you're really the star of the show. That's why it's called "Valerie's Family"

Suze, you're really the star of the show. It really should be called "Chrissy Snow and Company". Besides, Joyce DeWitt isn't well liked by viewers. Everyone thinks she's a lesbian.

Tina, we know you're trying to build gravitas as an actress, but we have this little sitcom that Bob Denver wants to do and we think you would be perfect as the female lead.

Lucy, you're a great tv commedienne. Why not one more round with Gale Gordon where the two of you are senior citizens?

Lucy, you've done comedy, you've done musicals. We have this nice little after school special message drama about an old bag lady.

Audra/Norman - You've outgrown Three's Company. How about your own show?

Marla, the Florence character needs room to grow. How about your own show?

Polly, you're funnier than Linda Lavin. Why not your own show?

Esther/John - the kid is Dynomite! What more can we say?

JoMarie, we're going to spin you off from Perfect Strangers with your own show. And yes we've learned a lesson from Good Times about a kid having a catchphrase that has to be said in every episode.

Delta is getting too fat. What's Julia Duffy doing these days?

John Goodman is tired of doing the show. But Roseanne and Jackie can carry it another season. Why don't we fashion them after the AbFab girls.

by studio executive, 1980reply 10512/06/2012

"I Roseanne take thee, Tom . . ."

by studio executive, 1980reply 10612/06/2012

Wait Blanche quit - the rest of you stay, you can run a hotel!

by studio executive, 1980reply 10712/06/2012

Dorothy quit r107!!!!

by studio executive, 1980reply 10812/06/2012

shit - sorry. but the hotel was the stupid idea!

by studio executive, 1980reply 10912/06/2012

"Mommy, mommy, let's go for a drive!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 11012/06/2012

[quote]Audra/Norman - You've outgrown Three's Company. How about your own show?

And to think, many years later, they'd end up costarring in "Porgy and Bess" on Broadway.

by studio executive, 1980reply 11112/06/2012

"Gina Davis should be the president!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 11212/06/2012

"My client needs to display his versatility. Of course he can play gay!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 11312/06/2012

Why bother with installing a peephole!

by studio executive, 1980reply 11512/06/2012

Everyone loves a holiday special! Everyone loves Star Wars!

Put 'em together - BINGO!

by studio executive, 1980reply 11612/06/2012

"Ms. Taymor, we would be thrilled and honored to pieces to have you take on Spider-man and make it your own."

by studio executive, 1980reply 11712/06/2012

Natasha, dear why not take the kids skiing while I make a movie? No...helmets are silly.

by studio executive, 1980reply 11812/06/2012

"Let's invite Fatty Arbuckle! He's always the life and soul."

by studio executive, 1980reply 11912/06/2012

Bob, cahn't you give my daughter (takes puff on a cigarette) a speaking paht? she can play the nosy neighbor's damn kid or something.

by studio executive, 1980reply 12012/06/2012

"That's a wrap!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 12212/06/2012

"Okay, so we give Conan the Tonight Show and move Jay to 10:00 PM . . ."

by studio executive, 1980reply 12312/06/2012

It's a film that's just begging to be remade. This time, though, all four of the girls will be whores! Plus it'll be the perfect showcase for that sexy daughter of Judy's. She'll show lots of skin! No, not Liza---the other one.

by studio executive, 1980reply 12412/06/2012

God dammit! LOOK! I need this carry on.

by studio executive, 1980reply 12512/06/2012

This is my new friend Diane Ross. I think she's gonna be a great addition to our group.

by studio executive, 1980reply 12612/06/2012

Of course, Nell! It's 1984! America is definitely ready to see a 10-year-old boy perform in blackface.

by studio executive, 1980reply 12712/06/2012

"Fifteen miles an hour? That's not fast!"

"It is...for a boat!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 12812/06/2012

'There's no point in filming Garland at Carnegie. We're doing her a favour, her best years are long gone. We'll tape it as a curiosity and leave it at that."

by studio executive, 1980reply 12912/06/2012

God, some of you are old.

by studio executive, 1980reply 13012/06/2012

I voted r110 for wit and wisdom

by studio executive, 1980reply 13112/06/2012

Who else for House of the Spirits but Streep, Close, Irons, Ryder and Banderas!

by studio executive, 1980reply 13212/06/2012

No more showing skin.People need to accept me as an Actress.

by studio executive, 1980reply 13312/06/2012

Don't worry, R130, you will never be old. Never.

by studio executive, 1980reply 13412/06/2012

R79 had the best reply in this thread- and I'm not even a Gwyneth Paltrow hater!

by studio executive, 1980reply 13512/06/2012

This Aristophanes guy, he's not very talented. Let's skip doing his plays and work with Erronius. Much more likely to pass the test of time.

by studio executive, 1980reply 13612/06/2012

Funny R136.

by studio executive, 1980reply 13712/06/2012

24 hours of sports? 24 hours of music videos? 24 hours of news?

Are these yokels nuts?

BTW, what is a music video?

by studio executive, 1980reply 13812/06/2012

Forget MASH....it's Vegas for me.

by studio executive, 1980reply 13912/06/2012

R130 and some of us read books, listen to music, watch movies and TV shows written and produced before 2010.

by studio executive, 1980reply 14012/06/2012

"Hello, Dustin? I just got this script...You like the desert?"

by studio executive, 1980reply 14112/06/2012

I'm sick as a dog! Dion, podrias hacerme un favor?

by studio executive, 1980reply 14212/06/2012

Sure Bruce, of course you should record an album...

by studio executive, 1980reply 14312/06/2012

She left her sunglasses here. I'm done with my shift, and can swing by her place to return them, maybe see what trouble we can get into.

by studio executive, 1980reply 14412/06/2012

Meryl: Don, hon', did you get a chance to look at those scripts I left on your nightstand?

Don: Uh, um, yeah, Meryl, they were great. Really, really...great.

Meryl: So which one should I choose? I'm thinking "The Fabulous Baker Boys" would be fun, especially since Jeff and Beau are attached; but I also love the way "Steel Magnolias" explores oppression and freedom in a Southern matriarchy. That isn't to say "The War of the Roses" wouldn't be a refreshing change after "A Cry in the Dark." I *still* feel emotionally drained from that one...I'm not sure a dramatic role is what my psyche needs right now!

Don: Yeah, um, the emotional carnage that one can find, uh wrought on his or her self can be...devastating?

Meryl: Hahaha, you're adorable when you do that charmingly befuddled routine. But seriously, which script did you find the most engaging?

Don: [Nervously walking toward his nightstand and grabbing a script from the pile he's avoided reading all week] This one! I-I-I just felt it, um, is provocatively eloquent, in its, uh mendacity of, um, um...

Meryl: "She-Devil"? I don't know, Don...I found it to be the least compelling of my options. Besides, I'd be working with that one obese comedian with the television show...and Ed Begley, Jr.

Don: God dammit, Meryl! You told me that it was over between you and that jerk!

Meryl: Don, you're being absolutely juvenile. "She-Devil" is just the kind of meaty, throbbing, hard, Ed...uh-editorial on feminine empowerment that women today are continually denied.

Don: But I didn't even read the script! I didn't want you to know that I ignored your 10,000 reminders to read through the scripts you left out for me, so I figured I'd pretend to have read the first one I happened to pick up!

Meryl: Oh, Don. You mustn't be so jealous. Sure, Ed and I have a history, but I'm committed to our marriage. Honestly, I'm willing to bet that any feelings I once harbored for Ed have tempered over the years.

Don: Says the woman whose hands go straight for her crotch whenever St. Elsewhere comes on!

Meryl: Don! Now you're just being vulgar! Anyway, instead of picking fights, you should be getting ready. We have dinner with Tracey and Allan at 8. In the meantime, I really should call my agent and let him know that I'll be doing Ed. "She-Devil." I'll be doing "She-Devil."

by studio executive, 1980reply 14512/06/2012

Such an epic fail, R145. I condole you.

by studio executive, 1980reply 14612/06/2012

"Sure Bruce, of course you should record an album..."

Replace "Bruce" with "Eddie"

by studio executive, 1980reply 14712/06/2012

"I can't believe how much Keanu and Winona look and sound like 19th century English aristocrats. I don't need to see anyone else."

by studio executive, 1980reply 14812/06/2012

R145 Actually The Lives and Loves of a She Devil was a very funny best seller at the time.

by studio executive, 1980reply 14912/06/2012

"Say no more. Lucy as a bag lady. Her fans, nay, all of America will love it!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 15012/06/2012

Look at it this way, Demi: Hester Prynne may be a classic character in American literature but who reads that shit anymore? No one's gonna know or care if we make it a happy ending. They'll thank us for it!

by studio executive, 1980reply 15112/06/2012

"Mondo? Naw. Let's go with Gretchen."

by studio executive, 1980reply 15212/06/2012

"Clown in a concentration camp? You can't go wrong with that. It screams Oscar to me!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 15312/06/2012

Lick a stripper pole and push a hoe down the stairs! You'll never be known as Jessie Spano from "Saved By The Bell" ever again!

by studio executive, 1980reply 15412/06/2012

well r152 it got Oscars....so?

by studio executive, 1980reply 15512/06/2012

Yoko is a fantastic artist. She's a multi-talented creative type. I want her to sit in on all of our recordings. And I want to start a band with her and sing about how we need to release violent American criminals from prison.

by studio executive, 1980reply 15612/06/2012

R155, have you ever heard of "The Day The Clown Cried"?

by studio executive, 1980reply 15712/07/2012

What stop sign?

by studio executive, 1980reply 15812/07/2012

Grease was such a success that a sequel with new songs and a bunch of unknowns is sure to be a hit!

by studio executive, 1980reply 16012/07/2012

So this singer Madonna is really a hot property right now, and I'm gonna make this comedy with her called, "Who's that Girl" and it should really put my career on the map!

by studio executive, 1980reply 16112/07/2012

"... like a modern version of a Hitchcock blonde! And get this: Her name is actually 'January'! It's retro! Like Tuesday Weld!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 16212/07/2012

Two words: Shia Lebeouf

by studio executive, 1980reply 16312/07/2012

"This...Rowling?...from the slush pile. I gave it a look. Sort of whimsical wizardry, dated kids' stuff. Prose undistinguished. Standard no-thanks slip."

by studio executive, 1980reply 16412/07/2012

"Do you know who I am?! I'm Carole Fucking Lombard! I don't care if they ARE soldiers--I'm not giving up my seat!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 16512/07/2012

We've yet to have a hit. This piece of shit group is going nowhere, so I'm gonna use my pregnancy as an excuse to bail. I'm outta here!

by studio executive, 1980reply 16612/07/2012

"Jesus, Elise, stop with the 'He's only 8' already! It's just a little pot...lighten up fer Christ's sake!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 16712/07/2012

Let's get Kate on the line in the UK, mate. Everyone will larf at our harmless prank!

by studio executive, 1980reply 16812/07/2012

Less Cowbell!

by studio executive, 1980reply 16912/07/2012

No Girls, no gags, no chance!

by studio executive, 1980reply 17012/07/2012

This Christopher Nolan guy sure does have an artist's touch!

by studio executive, 1980reply 17112/08/2012

Out of all the posts, r170 is the only one that actually truly happened

by studio executive, 1980reply 17212/08/2012

"It's a VERY brief nude scene, Miss Bates. It won't even be noticed."

by studio executive, 1980reply 17412/08/2012

Hey, Kurt! Let me introduce you to my friend, Courtney Love.

by studio executive, 1980reply 17512/08/2012

"Let's get rid of Lorne Michaels and start fresh with an entirely new cast. I think Charles Rocket and Denny Dillon will be STARS!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 17612/08/2012

[quote]"It's a VERY brief nude scene, Miss Bates. It won't even be noticed."

I thought that was one of the most fantastic, relevant, funny, and heart-warming scenes in the movie, and hardly think it did anything to destroy her career. I mean, we know the woman is fat and you missed the point of it altogether if you think it was a bad career decision.

Sometimes nudity is not meant to titilate.

by studio executive, 1980reply 17712/08/2012

"It's my last eight-ball ever, Joaquin. I promise."

by studio executive, 1980reply 17812/08/2012

We adore Paula, but viewers are grumbling about her. We ought to add a second female to the panel. It'll only make things better. In fact, Paula says she knows somebody named Kara something-or-other. We've never heard of her either, but let's bring her in and have a look.

by studio executive, 1980reply 17912/08/2012

"Guitar groups are on the way out, Mr. Epstein."

by studio executive, 1980reply 18012/08/2012

"I think I'll skip lunch today."

by studio executive, 1980reply 18112/08/2012

Let's cancel ALF in order to free up that cat Lucky who will no doubt go on to better things.

by studio executive, 1980reply 18212/08/2012

"C'mon, Vanessa. These are just for my personal collection. No one else will ever see them."

by studio executive, 1980reply 18312/08/2012

Who is Vanessa?

by studio executive, 1980reply 18412/08/2012

R184

by studio executive, 1980reply 18512/08/2012

Must be Vanessa Williams

NSFW

by studio executive, 1980reply 18612/08/2012

[quote]"C'mon, Vanessa. These are just for my personal collection. No one else will ever see them."

Wrongheaded decision for all of 5 minutes - or the duration of Miss America fame (10 minutes? Is there any other Miss America you can name immediately?)

The "scandal" (so lame by today's Kardashian-Hilton standards) got her name out there and she actually had talent and looks to back it up.

She has acknowledged that the whole sorted incident actually catapulted her career.

by studio executive, 1980reply 18712/08/2012

[quote]whole sorted incident

Oh, dear.

by studio executive, 1980reply 18812/08/2012

I'm old enough to remember the shitstorm over Vanessa's nude pics, which were actually tastefully done. It's so ridiculous in this day and age of celebrity sex tapes and other trashy behavior. If that happened today, it would be a big "whatever!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 18912/08/2012

"Thank you for shopping at Polly's Pets, Mr. Gere. Enjoy the gerbils!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 19012/08/2012

John, meet Yoko.

by studio executive, 1980reply 19112/08/2012

R189 Unless it's a politician.

by studio executive, 1980reply 19212/08/2012

R188, I'm afraid we're going to see even more of this sort of mistake. Many people rely on television for their education.

by studio executive, 1980reply 19312/08/2012

Tom Cruise. Nicole Kidman. Arthur Schnitzler.

Need I say more?

by studio executive, 1980reply 19412/08/2012

"I'm thinking it might be fun to go see that new play, 'Our American Cousin' tonight, Abe."

by studio executive, 1980reply 19512/08/2012

"Sinead, that autographed picture of the Pope you requested came in today's mail."

by studio executive, 1980reply 19612/08/2012

"Fuck you, Shonda!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 19712/08/2012

"I, Rock, take thee, Phyllis ..."

by studio executive, 1980reply 19812/08/2012

Dr. Murray, I seem to be building up a tolerance to Propafol. Can you increase the dosage a bit?

by studio executive, 1980reply 19912/08/2012

"I'm old enough to remember the shitstorm over Vanessa's nude pics, which were actually tastefully done."

Obviously you didn't see the one where her legs are spread wide open and her beef curtains are prominently on display (she also has a carpet; nude women had pubic hair back then). They look like a couple of strips of raw bacon. "Tastefully done", indeed!

by studio executive, 1980reply 20012/08/2012

"C'mon Matt! We don't have any photos of us kissing."

by studio executive, 1980reply 20112/08/2012

"Fuck the TV show, Sonny. I want a divorce."

by studio executive, 1980reply 20212/08/2012

"C'mon Flo,let's hit the buffet!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 20412/08/2012

"Finally, a hit Broadway musical is made into a film--with the original leads AND original director at the helm!"

"Yeah! And Will Ferrell in the Brad Oscar role!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 20512/08/2012

"A Bristol Palin reality show? It can't miss!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 20612/08/2012

"I think I'll open a theme restaurant in Times Square. It'll generate lots of good publicity for the TV show."

by studio executive, 1980reply 20812/08/2012

"Bernie Madoff seems like a straight-up guy. I'm sure our life savings will be safe with him and we won't need to resort to doing television work to put our kids through college."

by studio executive, 1980reply 20912/08/2012

Emmanuel, will you be my date to the Grammys? Brooke Shields insisted that I take her, so she'll be coming along, too.

by studio executive, 1980reply 21112/08/2012

"I'm going to kiss Lisa-Marie on stage. That will, once and for all, prove how much we're in love with each other and silence all those nasty rumors."

by studio executive, 1980reply 21212/08/2012

I wanna be Dorothy in the film version of "The Wiz". I'm Diana Ross, BITCH!

by studio executive, 1980reply 21312/08/2012

Season 9 will be a dream sequence.

by studio executive, 1980reply 21412/08/2012

"I'm Diana Ross, BITCH!"

And I can totally pass for 24!

by studio executive, 1980reply 21512/08/2012

"No, I don't think that's too kinky. I'm used to being photographed."

by studio executive, 1980reply 21612/08/2012

"Almost there ... just a little bit tigher ... AAAAAAAHHHH!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 21712/08/2012

Katie, honey, you just have to carry a baby (which you get to keep at the end) and pretend for a few years....and no... it will help your career, He's the biggest star in the world!!! It's all positive!!!

by studio executive, 1980reply 21812/08/2012

Time for a little five-fingered discount! And the best part is they don't dare arrest me!

by studio executive, 1980reply 21912/08/2012

OK, Tom, you've gotta show Oprah just how CRAZY in love you are with this woman!

by studio executive, 1980reply 22012/08/2012

"Now, Christina, I want you to learn how to use a typewriter ..."

by studio executive, 1980reply 22112/08/2012

I think it whoever chose Maryann Nyberg as the costume designer for the Garland version of "A Star is Born" Nyberg was awful.

by studio executive, 1980reply 22212/08/2012

"... but the actress in the movie who plays Samantha -- she'll be a real witch herself! And so will Endora! Trust me on this!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 22312/09/2012

It's a western, it's got an all-star cast, and it's directed by one of the top directors of all time, Michael Cimino! We can't lose!

by studio executive, 1980reply 22412/09/2012

"Now Bob and Barry, we need to do something to show we're 'with it.' You're both going to be getting perms!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 22512/09/2012

"OK, I think we need a fifth regular character for the four ladies to play off of. How about a gay houseboy named Coco?

"And since we now this is going to be a huge hit, it's not too soon to start thinking 'spin-off.' I'm seeing something with Rita Moreno and Paul Dooley. How does that work for you?"

by studio executive, 1980reply 22612/09/2012

We'll make this really exciting by adding an element of danger! What if Fonzie water-skis over a real shark?! The audience will eat this up!

by studio executive, 1980reply 22712/09/2012

Sure, just start your own network, you don't have to have original show ideas....just run old DR. Phil episodes and The Color Purple....people will eat it up!!

by studio executive, 1980reply 22812/09/2012

"Carrie sings!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 22912/09/2012

"And that way, Hugh, they can hear you and the original hit record of the songs at the same time!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 23012/09/2012

The best way to make them realize just how real we truly are is to make a video about how I'm just a Bronx girl from the block! And you can be in it too, Ben!

by studio executive, 1980reply 23112/09/2012

Let's throw in two characters who control the island making everything meaningless and then end up with everyone in purgatory. They will love it!

by studio executive, 1980reply 23212/10/2012

Why would I want to sign a fat preacher's daughter who sings gospel?

by studio executive, 1980reply 23312/10/2012

How DARE they demand I audition for the part? If they want me to play this Dolly Levi character, then can damned GIVE me the role! They've seen my work! They know what I'm capable of! I'D be the one who's taking a chance! A musical version of The Matchmaker? Who's going to pay to see that?

by studio executive, 1980reply 23412/10/2012

"I need a break, my voice is getting tired. Diane, why don't you try singing the lead part on that new song, 'Baby Love.'

by studio executive, 1980reply 23512/10/2012

"Don't worry, Carol. Take as much time as you need for that leg to heal. That MacLaine chick can't hold a candle to you and you'll be back in the part in no time."

by studio executive, 1980reply 23612/10/2012

That movie of that Stephen King book, what was the name of it? Oh yeah, "Carrie." What a story: a high school misfit gets her period and ends up killing all her classmates! Can you imagine that as a MUSICAL? My God, it'll be something like nothing you're ever seen before! It'll knock'em dead! Let's DO it!

by studio executive, 1980reply 23712/11/2012

"Two words, Faye: 'Mommie Dearest'. Two more words: second Oscar."

by studio executive, 1980reply 23812/11/2012

"Hey....I have a GREAT idea! Instead of having pre-recorded vocal tracks, let's just have the actors sing live during the takes!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 23912/11/2012

[r189] so not the same thing

by studio executive, 1980reply 24012/11/2012

Sorry [r192] so not the same thing

by studio executive, 1980reply 24112/11/2012

[r233] Aretha was in no way shape or form fat at the time ... and she was so not Motown

by studio executive, 1980reply 24212/11/2012

some of this is brilliant. some of it glaringly stupid missing the mark

by studio executive, 1980reply 24312/11/2012

When Amanda Cellini replaced Catherine Oxenberg on Dynasty. Cellini wasn't even an actress was she? The producer probably said:' they are both blondes, they both can't act and no one would notice the difference!" Boy they were wrong, Oxenberg was the straight man on that show and she was in on the joke (camp factor on the show). Cellini was absolutely and positively clueless. Instead of laughing with Amanda Carrington we were laughing at her!

by studio executive, 1980reply 24412/11/2012

John, relax! Get another massage.

by studio executive, 1980reply 24512/11/2012

"Screw the plot holes, I'm Ridley Scott."

by studio executive, 1980reply 24612/11/2012

"OK, gentelemen, the Globes are becoming a joke and losing any credibility we once had, so we need to focus on deserving winners.

So, we're all agreed on Pia Zadora as 'Best New Star' for 'Butterfly'? Fine. Let's go to lunch."

by studio executive, 1980reply 24712/11/2012

Wrong, R-247. It went more like this:

"You-a give each of da members one-a thousanda dollares and we vota per tua moglie? Issa dat right, Signore Riklis?"

by studio executive, 1980reply 24812/11/2012

"Huhuh...dude, watch this..."

by studio executive, 1980reply 24912/11/2012

"Mr Shawn, I've told them how to do it for years, and it's time I walked the walk. I've accepted Beatty's production deal at Paramount."

by studio executive, 1980reply 25012/11/2012

"Change my name? Whyever for?"

by studio executive, 1980reply 25112/11/2012

Don't worry anyone about this. I'm sure that, even though the nuclear testing range is 100 miles away from St. George and we're downwind, the cast will be fine and the Conqueror will go down as one of the greatest motion pictures in history.

by studio executive, 1980reply 25212/11/2012

I think I'll call him ... CHRIS GAINES!

by studio executive, 1980reply 25312/11/2012

Don't worry Anne, I'll protect you!

by studio executive, 1980reply 25412/11/2012

r253 wins

by studio executive, 1980reply 25512/11/2012

Holy shit, I forgot all about that whole Chris Gaines thing.

Nice try but no.

by studio executive, 1980reply 25612/11/2012

r242, I [italic]know[/italic] she wasn't Motown. That was the point. Barry Gordy failed to sign her.

by studio executive, 1980reply 25712/11/2012

"Let's get that JoAnna Garcia for our new series."

by studio executive, 1980reply 25812/11/2012

[quote]"Barry Gordy failed to sign her."

Oh, dear...

by studio executive, 1980reply 25912/11/2012

No [r257] have you listened to her early Columbia sides? She didn't fit into the early Motown groove ~ her first album was with the Ray Bryant Trio. She was young, thin and jazzy. When she moved over to Atlantic where she hit her own groove Motown would not have signed her she was too black ~ it's just not something that was in the mix on either part ... Motown was wanting to do nightclubs and movies. Aretha was getting funkier and more street ...it was Jerry Wexler who let her become herself. Gordy would not let Marvin loose for another three years. Gordy didn't want her.

by studio executive, 1980reply 26012/11/2012

We need to lighten things up a little for the prequel. Let's bring in a brand new character that the youngsters will like. We can call him "Jar-Jar."

by studio executive, 1980reply 26112/11/2012

Hey, Madonna, hold this mic a moment, will ya?

by studio executive, 1980reply 26212/13/2012

Well, we can completely repeat the success of "The Love Boat" if we set the whole idea instead on a train... no, make that: on a SUPER train!

by studio executive, 1980reply 26312/13/2012

Don't worry about the scale of this wedding, Al: I can get everything for free if I just shill for all the companies providing services on my show! And even if Barbara should get mad at me: well, the show won't last forever, but our marriage will!

by studio executive, 1980reply 26412/13/2012

"The reason nobody saw our movie is because they downloaded it ilegally off the Internet. Lets sue 25,000 strangers for roughly $1,000 each- that will set things right!"

by studio executive, 1980reply 26512/15/2012

Abe, I heard Our American Cousin is funny. lets go to the theater tonight.

by studio executive, 1980reply 26612/16/2012

r189 - "I'm old enough to remember the shitstorm over Vanessa's nude pics, which were actually tastefully done."

Yes, the two lesbian photos -- one with Vanessa's mouth over another model's vagina -- were very tastefully done.

by studio executive, 1980reply 26712/16/2012

Nicole -- just back out of Mr and Mrs Smith and remian where you are doing reshoots of The Stepford Wives - this project will showcase your comedic chops.

Nicole - nothing is sexier than watching you shave a gorrila suit off Robert Downey Jr.

Nicole - you are going through a lot right now, just back out of Panic Room. It's a damsel in distress thing.

Nicole - the audiences will totally get Nora's meta take on Bewitched, no one wants a retread of the old series. Oh ... and Will can make any thing funny, and you, too, my dear.

Nicole - Invasion of the Body Snatchers is a movie that needs to be remade NOW.

Nicole - The whole world is interested in Australia's history and, don't worry, in the Outback faces don't move - it's a realistic touch.

Nicole - of course, Anthony Hopkins can play black passing as white, no one will find that insulting - it's great acting. This project has Oscar written all over it. Start writing that speech.

by studio executive, 1980reply 26812/16/2012

I'm hanging up my cowboy hat and leaving Bonanza to go do dinner theater in Bumfuck, Idaho. And I'm growing a beard and never wearing a toupee again. I'll be back in 20 years playing an old man doctor on Trapper John. And one day I'll be an inspiration to Shelly Long and David Caruso.

by studio executive, 1980reply 26912/16/2012

Radio won't play our records? We'll show THEM!

by studio executive, 1980reply 27012/16/2012
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