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My new pilot: Dames

Alyssa Milano and Rebecca Gayhart play Jazzercise instructors in 1980s Santa Monica. Heather Locklear is the mean, tyrannical owner of the Jazzercise studio. She's trapped in a difficult marriage with an abusive man played by Chris Meloni, but her lug-head trainer Bo (played by Nick Lachey) is angling for her love. Gayhart's parents are wealthy Bev Hills residents (played by Tom Selleck and Shelley Long) and never have time for her, leading to her wild partying slacker ways. Milano moved to Cali from the Midwest to make it big; she's constantly auditioning but waiting for her big break. Matt LeBlanc plays her wise production assistant cousin who also lives in L.A. Doris Roberts as the nosy busybody landlady cameos in a guest role.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 3312/05/2012

OP, you are trying far too hard. You're also painfully unfunny.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 111/30/2012

I like this idea!

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 212/02/2012

Can I play Alyssa's sister again?

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 312/02/2012

LeBlanc is too old to play a p.a.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 412/02/2012

OP can you give the part of the nosy landlady to Patty Duke since she didn't get the role as Mary Todd Lincoln in Lincoln

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 512/02/2012

With some tweaking a retro 80s sitcom (sort of in the vein of the 70s show) could be a hit!

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 612/02/2012

I think with a little could work on TV LAND.

I like it

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 712/02/2012

I thought this was really going to happen.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 812/02/2012

I'd watch it, but you didn't need Doris Roberts. Edie McClurg would be a more inspired choice.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 912/02/2012

How about a very special episode where Tom Selleck and Matt LeBlanc spit-roast Nick Lachey.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 1012/02/2012

R9 is right.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 1112/02/2012

Leave Matt alone. He has the third season of Episopdes to do. One of the funnier shows around.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 1212/02/2012

Funny about Matt- he was considered the weak link of the Friends cast and he is the one w/the critically acclaimed show post Friends....

And yes, to Edie!

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 1312/02/2012

Title Sequence:

" (Closest Thing To) Perfect" playing over a close-up of Jamie Lee Curtis' 2012-era breasts pumping together with arms akimbo.

Then a back-shot of John Travolta and his 2012-era ass stuffed into sweats as he pushes a broom away from the audience.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 1412/02/2012

Then I want a cameo of Kelly LeBrock, Anthony Michael Hall, and Ilan Mitchell-Smith in their gym uniforms from "Weird Science" with Oingo Boingo playing in the background.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 1512/02/2012

Save Heather for mid-season...when the ratings are falling down the sewers so she can save the damn shit!

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 1612/02/2012

Also I wand BIG headbands on everyone of those bitches!

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 1712/02/2012

I also need a very special episode where Debbie Allen breaks the"Hands Across America" chain with her beat stick.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 1812/02/2012

Ditch Rebecca Gayheart--she can't stay off the Rxdrugs long enough to be coherent for this. Her hubs will regret leaving his $how, their money won't last long at the rate she's going through it.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 1912/02/2012

Wardrobe inspiration:

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 2012/02/2012

R19 is right. Replace Gayheart with Cobie Smulders.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 2112/02/2012

Special Guest star Betty White re-enacting "Love Is A Battlefield" doing the Pterodactyl tit dance.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 2212/02/2012

I'm in the industry so I'm going to give you some notes OP. There is no way this is going to fly from your initial treatment.

Alyssa and Rebecca are way too old. You're going to have to go younger. You're probably going to have to go with someone the network has a holding with and perhaps an unknown, possibly someone with a couple of credits, but hasn't had that breakout hit yet.

Locklear is fine, but we'd have to see how she looks. Has she gained weight? Too much botox, etc. But you are playing her too young. The second Jazzercise instructor should probably be either her daughter or step daughter from a second marriage. Chris Meloni is all wrong, look for someone who was big in the 80s, whose career is not so hot right now to play this role. Andrew McCarthy, maybe Matthew Broderick if he's available and will do it for no more that $50K per episode. The husband has to be sexless and emasculated, but likeable. Probably a doofus. The object of Heather's unwanted crone/cougar advances needs to be an Ashton Kutcher (10 years ago) type. Young, dumb, full of cum and completely clueless to his hotness and Heather's come ons. Give Heather 20 something son who could be hot for the lead and build a will they or want they vibe between the two, with Heather as a constant spoiler.

Nosy neighbor should be someone who was big in television back in the day. Maybe a Linda Lavin or the chick who played Thelma on Amen, because you're going to need some color in this. Maybe, the Amen chick has a son or daughter who lives across the hall from the two lead chicks and interacts with them from time to time.

Make those changes and I will consider ordering a pilot. Not a presentation, but a full pilot. We're also going to need to see a budget breakdown, since this a period piece.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 2312/02/2012

Oh, and not Bonnie Franklin, she's got pancreatic cancer and is circling the drain.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 2412/02/2012

Lauren Ambrose as the sardonic receptionist.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 2512/02/2012

Wrong wrong wrong r23. OP's cast with the exception of Edie McClurg over Doris Roberts.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 2612/02/2012

I'm embarrassed for you OP.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 2712/02/2012

Dames? That title sucks.

What about:


Feel the Burn


by Yep, comedy gold!reply 2812/02/2012

Alyssa Milano turns 40 in 2 weeks.

Gayeheart is 41 years old.

If you plan on selling this project to anyone except TURNER CLASSIC MOVIES, you may want to rethink your casting. Cause 18-35 year olds generally want to see themselves on screen.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 2912/02/2012

Rebecca Gayheart killed a kid in L.A. when she hit him with her car and got away with a slap in the wrist i hope her pussy gets gangrene and falls off. pretty sure Mc Steamy her druggy husband (why he got fired from Greys Anatomy, allegedly) cheats on her.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 3012/02/2012

Julianne Hough (Seacrest's beard) as the midwestern aerobic instructor who wants to be an actress.

Amy Schumer (a young up-and-coming Chelsea Handle-type stand up) as her wisecracking party girl best friend/ co-worker.

Bebe Neuwirth (less messy than Locklear and she can dance) as the icy and sardonic owner of the studio (who might have a heart after all).

No abusive husband (on a three camera sitcom?!!), her love interests are her feckless but charming ex played by Judd Nelson and a younger himbo who works for her played by some younger himbo.

Nosy landlady played by Jenifer Lewis.

No P.A. cousin (too hard to integrate into the action at the studio or in their shared apartment).

The party girl's Beverly Hills parents are frequent guest stars Rick Moranis and Jennifer Coolidge.

Needs young men for the leads to play off of. One will be a loutish bachelor type, the other will be a likeable love interest-type for the midwestern one.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 3112/02/2012

ok i like this

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 3212/05/2012

Alyssa can play 32 playing 29.

by Yep, comedy gold!reply 3312/05/2012
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