Serving up this steaming pile of
Celebrity Gossip
Gay Politics
Gay News
and Pointless Bitchery
Since 1995

Teen Mom Failure

In case you missed it on Monday night's episode of Teen Mom 2, here's the mouth breathing, meth brow-having drop of coke smegma Jenelle Evans making yet another excellent life decision. Jenelle violated probation by getting an F- on a random drug test and she was given two choices: serve around two weeks in jail or stay on probation for another year. The 20-year-old pile of garbage disposal gunk chose to sit in jail for two weeks, because she didn't want to go through another year of having to stay away from her bong (and probably because she wanted a two week vacation from her kid).

In this touching scene, Jenelle's lawyer tells her the start date for her jail sentence and she immediately barfs glitter all over that date. Jenelle can't start serving her jail sentence that day and her excuse for why she can't is probably the worst excuse ever given for anything in the history of excuse-making. Jenelle can't go to jail that day because she has to go to a Ke$hit concert! She got feathers in her hair for it! Bitch got clothes FOR the concert. You know you have successfully become a failure at life when your lawyer tells you that most of your legal troubles will be behind you if you check into jail on a certain day and these 3 trash nuggets fall out of your talk hole:

- "No, no, you don't understand. This is my idol. She's my idol and I'm never going to be able to see her again."

- "Like no one understands how important this concert is to me. It's not just a concert, it's Ke$ha. Like, it's the person. It's not 'Oh, I want to go to a random concert.' It's Ke$ha, like, my idol, the girl I watch videos on YouTube 30 times a day. I mean, I'm obsessed with this girl."

- "I know it sounds crazy, but if I have to stay on probation to see Ke$ha, it might be worth it."

That clip has to be the most effective anti-drug PSA ever. It's even making me consider breaking up with my bong.

In the end, Jenelle's dumb ass failed another random drug test and got arrested. Jenelle is currently serving 3 life sentences in a maximum security prison and it's not because she failed two drugs tests. It's because she admitted that Ke$hit is her idol.

by Anonymousreply 404/23/2013

The lowest of the low. It cracks me up when these girls are quoted as saying they did not want to be role models for young girls. Right, like they never knew that by signing on to do a national TV show, they would influence dumb girls to do dumb things. Kinda like how Ke$ha influences dumb girls to become obsessed with her. Ke$ha probably loves this shit.

by Anonymousreply 111/29/2012

It was pretty funny (but also sad).

There are more delusional folks out there than you know. Especially teens.

by Anonymousreply 211/29/2012

Words fail

by Anonymousreply 311/29/2012

Jenelle never disappoints...she continues to be a beacon of inspiration with her arrest today for heroin and assault.

by Anonymousreply 404/23/2013
Need more help? Click Here.

Follow theDL catch up on what you missed

recent threads by topic delivered to your email

follow popular threads on twitter

follow us on facebook

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!