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WHAT THE FUCK?! Is this normal now?

The staff at my workplace are throwing a retirement party/dinner for the (vulgarly highly paid) CEO of the company.

The catch, they are charging $50 a ticket. AND, you have an "option" (we all know that means you have to, or you don't look like a "team player") to contribute $ to get him a gift. A $2,000 surfboard or some shit.

Has anyone else ever had to pay to attend a retirement party? I really do not have the extra $50 to spend, plus the guy is a jerk and I really don't want to be there anyway.

Will I look like an asshole if I don't go? It's a pretty small place and I'm the head of one of the departments, so if I'm not there it will be obvious. Of course all of the suck ups are excitedly planning (all the while, neglecting their REAL jobs here).. I'm just rolling my eyes at the ridiculousness of it all.

by Anonymousreply 4811/30/2012

Absolutely decline to attend.

by Anonymousreply 111/28/2012

You're a department head but somehow can't cough up a measly fifty bucks? Smells fishy, to put it mildly. Suck it up and go. Do NOT contribute towards any present.

by Anonymousreply 211/28/2012

Do not listen to r1 unless you don't care about your job security there or elsewhere.

Sucks, OP but politics is politics. If you really are the head of a department it will look incredibly bad if you don't attend.

by Anonymousreply 311/28/2012

Do you have a "prior engagement"? You could still contribute for the gift but at least wouldn't have to attend the party. Always have a prior engagement on hand!!!!

by Anonymousreply 411/28/2012

Try to be gracious this one time, OP.

by Anonymousreply 511/28/2012

Get some Chap Stick and start munching.

Unfortunately, that is corporate America these days. Exactly as you described, if you don' go it will show. Its like a black mark on your record.

Office parties are such a waste of everyone time and money. No one really wants to go to them, you cant really drink and have fun, basically you are at work pretending to have fun with fake smiles and small talk.

The only light at the end of the tunnel is I read recently that office parties are down from around 50 percent to 30 percent due to the economy.

I call that BS. They are down because the 80's called and they want their fake, self help yuppy 'we are like a family" line back.

Reality check: Your not family until they split the profits like family. No cheese ball party at the Holiday Inn as going to make me feel we are just like family.

Seriously, those things are always loose loose. Someone always drinks too much, says something they shouldn't say, dose something they will regret in the morning and set them self up to be fired a month later. It's a Trap!

Make up a really good excuse, like you are doing something really important for the company that you had to work through the party. They will think you are awesomely dedicated while in reality you are tired of their BS.

by Anonymousreply 611/28/2012

We just provided the staff a link to our Retirement Gift List at Tiffany.

by Anonymousreply 711/28/2012

I'm so sorry OP. Simple office Birthday parties make me uncomfortable.

by Anonymousreply 811/28/2012

Sorry OP but I think you should just suck it up and contribute. Just think about it, this guy is retiring and leaving the company. That's one less old school scumbag that you have to deal with. Go celebrate that and if this really grates on you, consider as the head of a department, what you can do to change the company culture.

For instance let it be known to all your underlings that you don't expect presents for your birthday or Christmas or anyone planning any parties on your behalf. This way you look like the better boss and word will get out to the other bosses. In other words, try to shame them into doing the right thing.

by Anonymousreply 911/28/2012

Any CEO with an ounce of class would not expect his workers to give him a gift when he is making 250 times their average salary.

Then again, its sounds like his minions are doing this so guess you are screwed and he is a tacky bitch.

by Anonymousreply 1011/28/2012

[quote]You're a department head but somehow can't cough up a measly fifty bucks?

You have no idea what my obligations are outside the workplace OP. Also, it's not a huge company, and the CEO is the one with all the money. Trust me, I have actively been looking elsewhere for another job.

It's disgusting, but it looks like yes, I will end up sucking it up, spending the money and going. Thanks for the replies..

I was also wondering if anyone has ever heard of having to PAY to go to a work party?

by Anonymousreply 1111/28/2012

Yes, always have to pay to go to work parties.

by Anonymousreply 1211/28/2012

I meant R2, not OP (obviously)

R10 nails it.

by Anonymousreply 1311/28/2012

I was fired once for not attending the company Christmas party. Go, grin, and bear it.

by Anonymousreply 1411/28/2012

Oh dear lord. What a fucking scam. Just decline and take your chances.

by Anonymousreply 1511/28/2012

I agree with R10 - this is beyond tacky. What an asshole. Unless he has no idea - it sounds like some other people are putting it together and thinks it would be a "fun night out" for everyone.

by Anonymousreply 1611/28/2012

Can't you come up with a "prior engagement" that can't be cancelled? Like sick family member or something? But yes you DO have to pay something for the "gift".

by Anonymousreply 1711/28/2012

I disagree with most of the responders. You're not under any obligation to attend the party (especially if there's a cost) or to contribute to the gift. The only person you need to care about impressing is retiring.

by Anonymousreply 1811/28/2012

Suck it up and go. As another thread mentioned, take a shit on the floor of some unoccupied room. You will feel better

by Anonymousreply 1911/28/2012

Too bad you all can't chip in and buy the fucker a clue.

Obviously he's a douche bag and needs one in the worst way.

Do one or the other, OP, but NOT both. If he wanted a fucking retirement party, then HE should be paying for it.

Entitled assholes like this make me want to set up a guillotine in the front yard and start chopping heads.

by Anonymousreply 2011/28/2012

Schedule surgery that day. I'm sure you'd rather lose a kidney than go to the party. And give them a contribution toward a gift and take the tax deduction. It is a compulsory work expense.

Make sure you send a card or sign the office card so you get credit for your contribution. Say something like: I wanted you to have a trip around the world but I wasn't in charge of the present. Enjoy your surfboard.

by Anonymousreply 2111/28/2012

Don't do it, OP. Manufacture an excuse, such as being in a wedding out of town. Don't make up any stories about funerals though. Bad karma.

Who is collecting the money for this going-away gift? Just stall until it's too late to collect. Or you could always claim you left the cash on this person's desk in an envelope, so it's now their problem.

by Anonymousreply 2211/28/2012

R21 had much better ideas than I did. Do what he says.

by Anonymousreply 2311/28/2012

If you were retiring OP, would you pay for people to come to your party?

by Anonymousreply 2411/28/2012

OP, put on your game face and no one will see how you really feel about this guy, (if they don't already know). I understand that you don't like the him and money is tight but you are a department head and you won't look good. This is just one of those times when you have to grin and bear it. Dreading is worse than doing it. Just be happy he is leaving.

by Anonymousreply 2511/28/2012

Some questions, OP:

1) Is the CEO throwing this party, or is someone throwing it for him? If the latter, why on *earth* do you think he/she should be offering to pay everyone's tab, unless he/she is independently wealthy? Has it occurred to you that this $50/ticket will be used to pay for, oh I don't know, food and beverages, instead of going into someone's pocket?

2) How do you know how much the CEO makes, and if you actually have no idea, why do you think he's "vulgarly overpaid"? You said it was a small business, and it's not like he's making millions off of stock options or something.

3) Why would a "suck up" bother to suck up to a CEO who's retiring? To put it another way, why are you assuming your co-workers who are "excitedly" planning this party are doing it just to suck up? Is there any chance, any chance at all, that you're the office grump or bitch and everyone likes the CEO but you? (and vice-versa)

by Anonymousreply 2611/28/2012

OP, I assume you would pay for any number of subordinate employees to attend a party for your retirement. Remember, they probably think you are vulgarly overpaid.

by Anonymousreply 2711/28/2012

Office politics are so tiresome. I could never do that kind of work. The bullshit of having to worry about what other people think all the time is just too much.

You should do what you feel is right OP. But if you do go, do it on your terms. A quick handshake to the asshole and then leave early. Tell everyone you got diarrhea from the food if the nosy bitches ask.

by Anonymousreply 2811/28/2012

I work for the government and we always have to pay to go to retirement parties. We never have large parties that are paid for. We don't want to end up in the local paper!

by Anonymousreply 2911/28/2012

Maybe he will be eaten by a shark while using the surf board.

by Anonymousreply 3011/28/2012

I'm not shocked that the asshole at R2 is the same cunt at R26. Sounds like he's a hated CEO as well.

Anyway OP, suck it up and go.

by Anonymousreply 3111/29/2012

Yeah - when I worked for a rather large computer company we went through this shit.

Probably why I no longer work there - I wouldn't participate in their games.

by Anonymousreply 3211/29/2012

How does someone "excitedly plan" a retirement dinner, OP? You pick a venue, get their list of possible appys,, entrees and desserts, pick a package and you tell everyone where to meet. It's SOP for retirement dinners, Christmas parties, etc.

by Anonymousreply 3311/29/2012

Not OP, but I have seen this a lot R33. Many fraus get all excited when planning shit like this and they spend work time cackling over the details. What they will wear, what food to eat, what music to have, etc.

Sounds to me like the ladies are planning this fête légendaire.

by Anonymousreply 3411/29/2012

[quote] What they will wear, what food to eat, what music to have, etc.

At a retirement dinner?

by Anonymousreply 3511/29/2012

[quote]Seriously, those things are always loose loose.


by Anonymousreply 3611/29/2012

[quote]At a retirement dinner?

Yes. Have you never been to one?

by Anonymousreply 3711/29/2012

You can't afford $50 for an important career move? I bet you spend $50 on jeans that only fit you once, till you got too fat. Or for a gym membership you never went to, or to buy gay porn.

by Anonymousreply 3811/29/2012

not exactly the same OP, but several years ago anytime someone had a child this one annoying fat chick would go around and ask everyone to contribute for a gift. Now, I'm not cheap, but I was on a tight budget. After the tenth - seriously - birth I declined to contribute.

So, in retaliation, apparently, the woman who asked for the money wrote the names of everyone who contributed in the card except mine.

I actually found it very funny. (I got hold of the card and xeroxed it to show my friends) But, I was never asked again, thankfully.

Believe it or not people were offended and it contributed to an uncomfortable atmosphere for some time - fucking bizarre, but some people are very sensitive - so I would say go and stay for a half-hour then tell people you had plans.

by Anonymousreply 3911/30/2012

OP, if you're a department head, doesn't that give you some power in the office? It's the grunts who have to worry about how they are perceived. You clearly have no desire to go to this party or put any money into it, so doesn't it come down to a question of what penalty you would pay if you skip it? If you think it might adversely affect your job, then go. If it won't have any affect, skip it. These parties are the bane of the workplacve, always organized by idiot cunts who feel empowered by making such crucial decisions as how to fold the crepe paper and how many cheeseballs to order. "Cackling" is how one poster described it: a coven of witches dancing around their cauldron of brew. For insurance, you might sound out other dept. heads whom you trust. Maybe a number of you feel the same way and you can all show how you feel about these stupid office parties.

by Anonymousreply 4011/30/2012

[quote] I work for the government and we always have to pay to go to retirement parties

What the hell does this have to do with OP's situation?

Seriously can't you tell the difference?

by Anonymousreply 4111/30/2012

R40, you stupid cunt. This isn't just a stupid office party. This is a retirement party for the CEO. Big difference.

by Anonymousreply 4211/30/2012

"If you were retiring OP, would you pay for people to come to your party?"

That stupid question is beside the point, R24. The company should pay for the party, not the person who's retiring. If the company doesn't want to pay, and someone else wants to plan the party and have the employees contribute, no one should feel under any obligation to attend.

In 35 years of working in several jobs, all of them very different situations, I have never seen or heard of the employees being asked to contribute to a retirement party, a holiday party, or any other kind of office party. t

by Anonymousreply 4311/30/2012

I also think it is some brown noser behind this...

by Anonymousreply 4411/30/2012

Send him a card that says, "In lieu of a gift or participating in the retirement dinner, I have made a $50 donation in your name to the Spartacus Youth League."

by Anonymousreply 4511/30/2012

Steal $50 worth of office supplies to make up for it.

by Anonymousreply 4611/30/2012

In 15 years at my present job, I have yet to attend a holiday party. I flat out tell them, I don't celebrate xmas and don't care to attend. I usually get shit about it but I ignore it.

by Anonymousreply 4711/30/2012

I like R46's idea.

by Anonymousreply 4811/30/2012
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