I am 38 years old...pretty much an eldergay. I have been in a (98%) monogamous relationship with my partner since 1992. But, as it turns out, things have come to an end. I am new to the dating scene, I was reading on another thread (wish I could remember which one) about how a lot of gay men have some kind of arrested development, especially when it comes to dating, because most of my age and above, never got to experience "normal" dating in our formative years. So, my questions to the DL is "how does it work? what are the do's and dont's of dating?" I have been on a few, but I think I probably come across as too keen. I don't know. I don't have very many gay friends, so I don't really have any one to go to for advice, hence my plea to the DL. Any advice would be appreciated. Oh, and before anyone asks, I'm 5'10, 165 (good shape but could be better), and bald, but would still consider my self above average looking (although a full head of hair would make the world of difference)..... ok....so please tell me how the dating game is played....how do I not come over too strongly...how do I turn people down without feeling like a complete and utter see you next Tuesday?
Dating in the Gay world...how does it work?
|by Anonymous||reply 8||11/27/2012|
If you're for real see a therapist.
You're 38 and already yapping about being old.
You've been in a relationship for 20 years, since you were 18?
Yapping about body issues at an ideal height and weight?
Worrying about having to turn people down ALREADY?
|by Anonymous||reply 1||11/27/2012|
Maybe you're overthinking OP. Just get out there, have fun, live your life. Do stuff you enjoy and you're bound to find other guys like you.
Why did things end after 20 years?
|by Anonymous||reply 2||11/27/2012|
[quote]I don't have very many gay friends, so I don't really have any one to go to for advice,
Why not? Make some gay friends first...then you'll meet people through them and be more relaxed.
I'm afraid there are certain aspects to your story that don't add up.
It might help to find a professional to talk to first. You sound too stressed and people pic up on that.
Good Luck...I'm sure you'll make it.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||11/27/2012|
I don't think your situation is strange at all.
In terms of relationships, it is very common for a lot of people to be out of the dating scene for decades before they return. A lot of divorcees experience this shock and struggle. So you are not alone.
Being in a LTR makes you a viable candidate for another LTR. It is a lot easier to get back into the dating world than you think. You can use online hookup sites, or if you are serious about dating, trying online dating/relationship oriented web sites. But MAKE SURE you clearly understand the difference when you meet men online. Obviously, A lot of relationships take a few dates before getting the person into bed, and with hookups, are immediate after you arrange it online. Establishing the clear lines will make the transition easier.
You can do the bar/club scene, however, it is more suited to a younger crowd. Bathhouses in my region, tend to have older gentlemen, but they are more for sexual play, just like bars/clubs.
You can do social scenes, like bowling and other interest based GLBT groups. Groups and activities can be found at your local gay community centers or online through various search engines.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||11/27/2012|
How does it work ?? It doesn't. Ha Ha. Just kidding. Welcome back to the dating world and good luck !
|by Anonymous||reply 5||11/27/2012|
Practise your come hither hiss.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||11/27/2012|
just one thing
SLAP THEIR FACES!!! SLAP THEIR FACES VICIOUSLY!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 7||11/27/2012|
This is why that stupid phrase "eldergsy" is so fucking stupid. OP, you sound like a mindless sheep. I'm appalled at you willingness to buy into DL's obsessive taxonomic nonsense. I would never date you,
PS: Sweetheart, 38 is nothing. Nuh. Thing. Re-fucking-lax.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||11/27/2012|