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My partner and I adopted my cousin's daughter four years ago.

She is now eight. My partner's parents don't have any other grandchildren, and they do not have a lot of disposable income. They spent $350 on a guitar for our daughter's birthday/early Christmas gift last month, and now keep bugging me about getting her signed up for lessons. I have called several different places, and I can't find anyone to give her lessons for under $125 a month. We really don't have that much in disposable income. She also has Chinese lessons, and ballet. We don't have time for guitar. Why would someone buy a gift like this without making sure that we as the parents were willing to take the kid to lessons and pay for it? I know that this was a huge financial investment for them. Oddly enough, they are not thrilled that their daughter is a lesbian, but they love our daughter.

by Anonymousreply 3111/20/2012

You lost me at Chinese lessons.

by Anonymousreply 111/19/2012

Tell her to choose between ballet and guitar.

She could also teach herself.

by Anonymousreply 211/19/2012

$350 is a huge financial investment for them? Where do they live? Vietnam?

by Anonymousreply 311/19/2012

Perhaps you could earn some additional income by making Nutloaves and selling them at the local co-op.

by Anonymousreply 411/19/2012

OP we really do not care about your life

by Anonymousreply 511/19/2012

They should have checked with you first.

But since they gave it, check YouTube and search for "guitar lessons". She if your daughter likes playing it. If she doesn't, see if the in-laws kept the receipt and know what the return policies are.

by Anonymousreply 611/19/2012


I can't shake the vision of a chubby white girl in a tutu singing songs she's Mandarin!

by Anonymousreply 711/19/2012

Does your daughter have an interest in music, or are the "grandparents" projecting their own interests? Perhaps there might be a time in the future when it might be appropriate for your daughter to start taking lessons.

by Anonymousreply 811/19/2012

Chinese lessons? You are kidding. I hope.

by Anonymousreply 911/19/2012

Next time they bring it up tell them the truth, raising a child is costly and what with other lessons you cannot budget guitar lessons at this time. In the meantime, watch some youtube lessons for kids with your child and encourage her to practice on her own.

by Anonymousreply 1011/19/2012

Find a high school girl or boy who plays guitar to teach her for $20 an hour or less. Contact the local schools music department. Kids are dying for little jobs to earn any money at all these days. Give her

by Anonymousreply 1111/19/2012

OP, you have my sympathies for posting your perfectly reasonable post and expecting you would get anything other than mean people overjoyed at being enabled to feebly try to make you feel like shit.

by Anonymousreply 1211/19/2012

Missing children is trendy these days. You get the drift.

by Anonymousreply 1311/19/2012

um buying someone a gift like a guitar does not automatically mean you have to learn right away or through a class or teacher, many people i know learn o their own. you ar the parents. you tell them your daughter is too busy but that you appreciate the gift. if they press on, just be nice and be honest. when the time comes, lessons will be appropriate.

by Anonymousreply 1411/19/2012

You need to learn how to craft an appropriate subject heading for your posts, OP.

by Anonymousreply 1511/19/2012

Hey Mitt at R3, did you miss the part of the OP's second sentence where she said the grandparents don't have much disposable income?

by Anonymousreply 1611/20/2012

Playing the guitar is much cooler than being a ballerina or speaking Mandarin. You're turning your kid into a waste of skin.

by Anonymousreply 1711/20/2012

Only a straight woman would make up a dumb shit story like that and think people on a gay gossip board would not only believe it, but that they would give a fuck in the first place. No gay man would write that story in a million years. The only "primetimer" left is the webmaster and her employees.

by Anonymousreply 1811/20/2012

[quote]Chinese lessons? You are kidding. I hope.

Maybe the OP or her partner is Chinese? Why is it so odd that her daughter is learning Mandarin?

by Anonymousreply 1911/20/2012

It's just a bit too precious, R19.

by Anonymousreply 2011/20/2012

[quote]No gay man would write that story in a million years.

No gay man did.

Did you miss the part about OP being a lesbian, r18?

by Anonymousreply 2111/20/2012

(R18)Why would "only a straight woman" make up a story like that? And why does it have to be a story?

Many gay men and women are raising children as we speak, so what's your problem?

OP, where are you looking for a teacher? If you are going through local music schools, it will be more expensive. Try to find a private teacher through word of mouth. If you find a decent private teacher, you can always try to bargain with them. I'm a music teacher and will always lower my prices if I know someone really wants lessons but can't afford them. I am most happy to give a lower rate if the person buys a bundle (5-10) of lessons in advance.

$125 a month sounds like you are trying to plan for a weekly, one hour lesson which is not necessary. Weekly, half hour lessons will more than do for a start and I'm sure you can find someone to do that for $15-20.

If all else fails, get her a "Learn the Guitar" book or video and see if she really takes an interest in learning it.

And Chinese and ballet are both excellent choices for a young child. Ballet will give her great posture and poise. Learning Chinese early will make her fluent, which will give her all kinds of job opportunities later.

by Anonymousreply 2211/20/2012

OP, maybe your best bet is to be honest and tell them that you are currently looking for affordable lessons, the cost of which will not require your daughter to forego other activities she enjoys. They don't have a lot of money themselves, so they ought understand the reasoning.

Does anyone in your family play? Might they be willing to show her the basics?

Good luck!

by Anonymousreply 2311/20/2012

R17 is right. Your daughter isn't going to be a ballerina or international spy, so fostering an appreciation of music is a hell of a lot more practical.

by Anonymousreply 2411/20/2012

Some of you are nuts if you think that the only use for Mandarin is if her daughter becomes a spy.

by Anonymousreply 2511/20/2012

[quote]It's just a bit too precious, [R19].

No actually it's pretty fucking smart, cause if the kid can speak well later it will be a guaranteed job for *life*.

Kudos to the parents. If I ever had kids I'd get them a chinese nanny from birth.

by Anonymousreply 2611/20/2012

OP, did you also write thread linked below? Just checking.

Just in case this really happened (although I doubt it), I taught myself how to play the guitar at 13 -- it's not that difficult; people have been doing it for many years. Get a couple of chord books and check out YouTube and stuff like that online.

OTOH, unless the guitar (which I'm assuming is acoustic) is of very good quality, it will be difficult for a small child to play. The "action," that is, the distance from the strings to the fingerboard, will be too high, and she won't be able to push the strings down against the frets properly with her small hands. This gift would have been much more appropriate for a girl who's already had her growth spurt, not the tiny fingers of an 8-year-old.

Now that I've considered what I just wrote, this story cannot possibly be true.

But I' m really shocked that more DLers don't play the guitar.

by Anonymousreply 2711/20/2012


by Anonymousreply 2811/20/2012

You people are so fucking lame. I can't believe even one of you numb nuts thought this was a true story. What a sad little group you are.

by Anonymousreply 2911/20/2012

What does your cousin have to do with any of this?

by Anonymousreply 3011/20/2012

R21/r22, I've noticed over and over again that a great many DL'ers seem to forget that lesbians exist. In their minds, there are only two options for a DL poster - gay male or straight female.

by Anonymousreply 3111/20/2012
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