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Family heirlooms from relatives

My 90 year old grandmother recently sent me a box of family heirlooms. We live 3000 apart and I will probably never see her again. I appreciate the effort and expense it took for her to give me these heirlooms, but I'm not sure what to do with them. Items included: my grandfather's John Wayne VHS collection, silver-plate silverware and salt and pepper set, a silver-plate brush and comb set, and a broken clock with no glass face and lots of missing parts.

I appreciate the gesture and I sent her a card of gratitude. However, I don't have any real connection to these items and I don't even recall my grandparents owning most of this stuff. Would I be an awful grandson to get rid of it all? I don't have family to offer it to. I'm her only grandchild and my parents are gone.

by Anonymousreply 3611/19/2012

What until she dies, then throw it all away.

by Anonymousreply 111/18/2012

The broken clock and VHS tape go in the trash. The other stuff you might think about hanging onto. I was close to my grandmother who died at 99 years old in 2006; the only object I ended up with of hers is a Spode candy dish that I use to keep pocket change.

by Anonymousreply 211/18/2012

The silver plate might be worth something. Silver has gone way up in price. I'd have an antiques dealer look at that.

by Anonymousreply 311/18/2012

My grandmother left me part of a Limoges dinner service and two shopping centers in Florida.

I got rid of the dinner service.

by Anonymousreply 411/18/2012

Silverplate has no value for silver. You might ask granny who got the sterling and the Waterford crystal?

Inventory so you have a record of what you are supposed to have and give the rest to the Salvation Army, Goodwill, St. Vincent's or other charitable thrift.

by Anonymousreply 511/18/2012

Make the old girl happy. Set a dinner with the flatware and salt & pepper shakers and send her a pic of it being used by you and/or your guests. Tell her you invivted them over for a John Wayne Film Fest and you all loved it.

She will be thrilled.

by Anonymousreply 611/18/2012

OP, how far away is she? It would be nice if you could visit her.

by Anonymousreply 711/18/2012

[quote]We live 3000 apart and I will probably never see her again.

Why don't you visit your grandmother for the holidays?

by Anonymousreply 811/18/2012

[quote] Items included: my grandfather's John Wayne VHS collection,

On the bright side, at least it's not your grandfather's John Wayne Gacy collection.

by Anonymousreply 911/18/2012

OP, why won't you ever see your grandmother again? That's sad. Especially if all her other family is gone.

by Anonymousreply 1011/18/2012

Ingrate. Take the items and thank her. If I were her though, I would tell you to shove it all up your ass.

by Anonymousreply 1111/18/2012

3000 what?

by Anonymousreply 1211/18/2012

I inherited my aunt's silverplate service for 12, and we've used daily for about 6 years. It's a lot nicer than stainless tableware.

When my partner's mother died, she left him his childhood train set, some cranberry glass (WTF?) and an old black raincoat. His sister got everything else in the house (AND the house). So be grateful for something useful.

by Anonymousreply 1311/18/2012

To repeat what all the other pseudoJewish moms on here have posted, why don't you visit your nana? Jeez, she's only 3000 miles away. When my dad had Alzheimer's I made a trip every six weeks from one coast to the next to visit with him. If she held any connection to you, you might go for a last visit.

by Anonymousreply 1411/18/2012

Yes, hold her hand one more time.

by Anonymousreply 1511/18/2012

Is she senile? It seems more like she sent you her garbage. I would tell the trashman to check for the Tiffany glass.

by Anonymousreply 1611/18/2012

I know I'll get creamed for saying this, but it sounds as though she had a pile of junk on her hands and instead of throwing it out sent it to you. Even a grandmother should know that pre-DVD tape is useless nowadays. And who wants a used comb-and-brush set? You sent her a thank you, right? Okay, that should shut the etiquette police up. Now toss everything out. And, PS, if this didn't involve some feeble old granny, everybody would be screaming because John Wayne was a right-winger. Hypocrites.

by Anonymousreply 1711/18/2012

My grandmother left her plastic Camel cigarette lighter that she got for free with a carton of Camels at my parents' house. I still smoked back then and I used the lighter and automatically put it in my pocket when I left. When I got home I realized what I'd done and thought, "Oh, I'll bring it back when I go to my parents' house again and they can give it to her." But then, as we say on Datalounge, she died.

So that's what I got from my grandmother

by Anonymousreply 1811/18/2012

I wonder if grandma is trolling. Unless she remembered some sentimental value there was no point to what she sent.

by Anonymousreply 1911/18/2012

Oh my .. you all won't know what she was thinking until you get there yourselves, then it will be too late.

by Anonymousreply 2011/18/2012

My grandmother used to send us junk too, telling us it was high end stuff. She was starting to get Alzheimer's and her judgement wasn't what it used to be. She meant well. Chuck the junk, thank her and keep what is not junk, if anything.

by Anonymousreply 2111/18/2012

I love R6's idea.

by Anonymousreply 2211/18/2012

Be careful OP, don't allow know-it-all Dataloungers lead you astray. Not all silver plate is junk.

Old Sheffield plate made from 1740-1840 is rare and extremely valuable. There is no single hallmark to identify it.

Large silver plate trays can also be valuable.

by Anonymousreply 2311/18/2012


Butch it up, eat something, and do something about that hair. You can't do anything about time; you're still going to die.


-OP's Granny

by Anonymousreply 2411/19/2012

OP you're grandmother is 90, with the program and "you're not sure if you'll see her again"? Save up your money if you have to, but MAKE SURE you take at least 1 more trip to her see before she dies. Why wouldn't you go see her? My grandmothers died before they were 90 and 1 of them was a fucking bitch. You seem to have a good relationship with yours. You should feel happy about the fact that she sent you those items even if you don't care about them. They're important to her and she picked YOU to have them. Don't be a disrespectful cunt.

by Anonymousreply 2511/19/2012

OP this is grandma. Come and visit me. I'm alive and I love you. I was giving you a hint. I know the john wayne tapes are garbage but it's all I had to send. Life is short.

by Anonymousreply 2611/19/2012

my grandmother left all of us grand kids some cash. Seems like I received between 500 and 1000. Grandma lived a very frugal life and to find out part or her frugality was to leave us all some money made me sad for the life she lived to give me something

by Anonymousreply 2711/19/2012

[quote] Would I be an awful grandson to get rid of it all?

No because she wouldn't know. On the other hand, you would be a fucking idiot because you will bitterly regret it.

For someone who apparently lost his parents you still don't seem to "get it".

by Anonymousreply 2811/19/2012

OP, what did this stuff mean to your grandmother? Does any of it have any special place in her life? It sounds to me like, facing the end of her life, she is trying to pass along her "treasures" to the people she loves. You owe it to yourself, and your grandmother, to find out more about the circumstances of these gifts, and what the items meant to her. A phone call, or better yet, the visit that others are suggesting, might be very enlightening.

There is a good chance that the silver (and perhaps the clock) were wedding gifts to HER 70 years ago. That's how people got silver in the old days. That you never saw her use the silver is meaningless. Many older people, especially ones who lived through the depression, have stuff that they consider "too good" to use, regardless of the actual value.

Clearly, the VCR tapes have sentimental value to your grandmother, and she's hoping they have the same value to you.

Toss the tapes, but if pressed, say that, since you no longer have a VCR, you donated them....a harmless lie.

Put the silver away in a drawer. You don't have to ever actually use it, but, once a year, when you trip across it, you can think good thoughts about your grandmother.

Of course, it could be that all the above is bullshit, and she was just cleaning out the attic...

by Anonymousreply 2911/19/2012

Thank you for input. My grandmother and I were never close. My parents had a love hate relationship with her and mom stopped speaking to her when I was in high school. Grandma and I exchange Christmas cards and we are friendly but we are not close. I did call her to thank her for the items and she said she wanted them to go to family, but didn't have anyone else to share them with. I was the only choice.

I can not fly and driving 3000 miles isn't a realistic option for me. We never spent much time together when I was growing up so I dont feel a huge obligation to see her now. Does that make me a cunt? Maybe.

And no, I do not believe the silver-plate to be worth anything. It's International mass produced, for those who were wondering.

by Anonymousreply 3011/19/2012

I still think you should go OP.

by Anonymousreply 3111/19/2012

Old VHS tapes? Junk silver plate? I have a terrible feeling OP's Granny has the cray crays and has no fucking idea what she actually sent him. Bless her little heart but count yourself lucky OP that it wasn't her used Depends.

by Anonymousreply 3211/19/2012

Why can't you fly?

by Anonymousreply 3311/19/2012

Nah. You're not a cunt, OP. You know your family dynamic better than any of us.

Still, I encourage You to hold on to Grandma's silver. Clearly, she gets some comfort or pleasure out of You having it. After she's gone is soon enough to decide how You want to dispose of it.

by Anonymousreply 3411/19/2012

Maybe you could have the clock fixed, OP. Also, the brush and comb can be valuable. Antique sets were made of ivory and/or silver.

by Anonymousreply 3511/19/2012

[quote]Why can't you fly?

You're not seriously blaming OP for not being able to fly are you? Nobody can fly!

by Anonymousreply 3611/19/2012
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