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Do any of you have "rich people" guilt?

I think I do. I come from a really rich family and I'm always afraid people will find out and think I'm like the Romneys. I know this a definitly a first world problem(!!!) but how do people in the same situation deal with it?

by Anonymousreply 5011/19/2012

You can give all of your money to me. Problem solved. Joking, OP.

I wouldn't know. I hail from poor, working class stock through and through. My family was allegedly wealthy a very long time ago. Doesn't every Southern family say that?

by Anonymousreply 111/17/2012

Why should you have rich people guilt? Life your life in a way that strikes you as meaningful, and don't be guilty.

Now a story:

I was friendly with a woman at a church I used to belong to--in her late 50s, retired school teacher, spent most of her free time gardening and volunteering with the mission for old people at the church--eg visiting old people, helping them shop for groceries, etc. She even volunteered to clean apartments for a couple of the old ladies who were hoarders. She kind of looked like what she was--wore beat up t-shirts and jean shorts.

Anyway, one day I asked another church friend if the lady above groomed dogs as a side job because she always smelled (to me) like a certain dog perfume I used on my little guy. And my friend said, "If you knew how much money she has, your jaw would drop. All of the programs she runs here she funds almost entirely by herself."

by Anonymousreply 211/17/2012

OP, Set a certain per cent of your wealth aside for charities that you personally believe in, and make sure the funds are used efficiently. There will always be people that are poorer than you, as well as richer. Be very careful who you friend, as no matter what your resources may be, jealousy is all too common.

by Anonymousreply 311/17/2012

Um, no.

But I'm sure it must be just horrible. How do you go on???

by Anonymousreply 411/17/2012

No. That's why they're rich.

by Anonymousreply 511/17/2012

I would have zero guilt.

I would give generously to charities, especially to wounded warriors, St. Jude's, and local hospices, but I would have ZERO guilt.

by Anonymousreply 611/17/2012

If you came by the money via inheritance, then why feel guilty? That's like feeling guilty for having blue eyes. The only thing you can do is determine the best course for yourself based on the money you have. Charity, a foundation, etc. or you can just blow it on a fantastic life of excess. Your call.

by Anonymousreply 711/17/2012

i am happy to help you get over your rich people guilt.

by Anonymousreply 811/17/2012

As one of the po', seriously I grew up in a trailer, I can honestly say I wouldn't judge someone who was rich. As long as you're not an ass. I actually have had rich, poor & middle class friends and I find middle class people are the worst. They seem to have a real need to put poor people "in their place" and they put on airs about everything.

by Anonymousreply 911/17/2012

"I come from a really rich family and I'm always afraid people will find out and think I'm like the Romneys."

I suspect OP is actually Tagg Romney letting us know, even though Mitt and Bain didn't get elected so they could fleece the treasury, that the Romneys still have obscene amounts of money.

by Anonymousreply 1011/17/2012

[quote] Be very careful who you friend, as no matter what your resources may be, jealousy is all too common

True r3. A guy I dated wanted to quit his job and have me fund the feature films he was going to direct once he found out I had some I don't have THAT much money

by Anonymousreply 1111/17/2012

Most of the richies I know are cagey about Topic A. It's actually very tedious as I have no hangups on talking (as distinct from boasting) about money.

One guy I know (now dead) used to sport a brooch that spelt out in rhinestones "I AM VERY RICH". Loved it! Someone should make them for those with big dicks.

by Anonymousreply 1211/17/2012

The best way to deal with "rich people" guilt is by not being a dick.

by Anonymousreply 1311/18/2012

If you had money you would feel differently, R12. There is no distinction between talking and boasting if you are well off. Talking IS boating. Even when bragging is not the intention, it will certainly be perceived that way. Many people hate the rich just for being rich. Is your friend with the tacky brooch dead because someone killed him?

Also, when people know you have money, lots of jealous, opportunistic cockroaches come out of the woodwork (see R11)--strangers, friends, family. Best to keep it all under wraps.

by Anonymousreply 1411/18/2012

OP, probably the most pathetic poster....EVER.

by Anonymousreply 1511/18/2012

He had "I'm rich" in rhinestones?

Seriously, rhinestones...

by Anonymousreply 1611/18/2012

I work with very rich people and almost all of it is old money. 99% are very nice, but they don't understand what it is to not have money.

Much in the same way a 'mo doesn't understand what it's like to be in a monogamous relationship.

by Anonymousreply 1711/18/2012

Perhaps a bit of guilt- mostly as I grow older I feel gratitude for my good luck and a certain amount of responsibility to use that luck to help others- from friends to charitable organizations. I have found over the years that friends and significant others can be resentful or jealous. I have to be sensitive to it. I view wealth as both great good luck and a responsibility. Fire can burn you and others up, and/or it can keep you and yours warm, depending how you use it. I think I have done much more of the latter.

by Anonymousreply 1811/18/2012

I second R4

by Anonymousreply 1911/18/2012


What did you mean by saying that you're "afraid people will find out" that your rich?

Do you live, work, and socialize among the working classes? Doesn't your car/watch/boat/mcmansion/Piper Seneca announce your prosperity to the world?

I'm not being sarcastic--I would like to know :)

by Anonymousreply 2011/18/2012


by Anonymousreply 2111/18/2012

I lost it in the autumn of 2008.

by Anonymousreply 2211/18/2012

[quote]If you had money you would feel differently, [R12].

I do. And I definitely don't.

[quote] even when bragging is not the intention, it will certainly be perceived that way.

Only if either side stupid or an asshole.

[quote] Is your friend with the tacky brooch

I don't consider honesty tacky. Not something I would do but I liked his attitude: upfront, unashamed, & fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. But it needed a bravura prople-loving personality to pull it off -- which he had. If you hold the power to alter reality why hide it? Endora didn't!

by Anonymousreply 2311/18/2012


by Anonymousreply 2411/18/2012

I have a friend who has a sizable trust fund. At least 10k a month. She'll get more as she gets older.

I give her credit for being very discreet about it, and having a job (teacher). But she sometimes complains about money - as in not having any. "Oh i cant get out tonight - i have *no* money"

*That* annoys the shit out of me. I think she does it out of guilt and to feel like the rest of us - but the fact is she isn't ("the rich are not like you or me") - her rent and credit cards are always paid for and she will never know what its like to be broke and without money for a proper meal.

Im thisclose to getting snarky the next time she decides to say this.

by Anonymousreply 2511/18/2012

shit!! I really never had rich people guilt until I started replying to this thread about how modestly I live, but it was sounding very Romney-esque. I do give a ton of money to charity and plan to leave everything to charity as I have no heirs.

by Anonymousreply 2611/18/2012

OP, I have a friend whose family was quite wealthy. She worked as an artist (legitimately, she had a BFA) and volunteered time on a number of community art activities. But only a few who know her well knows that she has money. She has worked hard to earn a living at her art because she doesn't want people judging her for having inherited money.

R25, this same friend had a father who married a Las Vegas showgirl. Long story but this woman ended up getting much of the money including some that had been promised to add to their trusts. So they now have a liveable income if they are relatively modest, but one sibling went through most of her money and they needed to help her out. So now, my friend is quite frugal, because she is concerned that something might happen to her income. If I heard her say that she didn't have any money to do something, I'd take her word for it. With your friend, you don't know all this person's circumstances.

by Anonymousreply 2711/18/2012

Rich or poor, it's about that attitude.

You have to not care what people think about you whether you're rich or poor.

That said, I'd like to be rich.

by Anonymousreply 2811/18/2012

[R25] I know you think she's got enough and she might. But some people DO budget and stick to it. Maybe she gives a sizable amount to charity or has a shopping addiction. Most likely she might just be begging off not wanting to go out. Poor excuse maybe. I used to do that and a friend called me on it and I realized it sounds idiotic to tell people you don't have money all the time when you just don't want to go out.

I do make a good living but I have a strict budget that I adhere to so when my discretionary fund for the month is up it's nothing else til my account is replenished. I recently had to replace the brakes on my car and that blew the rest of my monthly budget in the 8th if the month. I had impulsively purchased an expensive shirt just two days earlier. I still had to buy food, attend dinners with friends and other stuff I'd committed to do that meant no extra "hey let's meet for a drink" outings or other impromptu stuff. I also no longer loan money to those friends who say " you ALWAYS have money. You never complain about bills".

And I DO enjoy my life. I had to move twice this year and thanks to saving wisely I was able to not have drama about it. Or move in with my parents. Which is good cuz my brother already did that.

by Anonymousreply 2911/18/2012

I'm in the same boat, OP. I simply make sure the only place I mingle with the unfortunates is on DL. My social life is with other guys like myself. There are quite a few us in this gay predicament, if you can call it by that name.

by Anonymousreply 3011/18/2012

I don't feel guilty for being white, male and from the U.S, so I doubt I'd feel guilty had I been very rich. OP, there's no reason to feel guilty. Just be a good person who doesn't stand for the privilege that goes along with the baggage and work for the good of everyone. That is all.

by Anonymousreply 3111/18/2012

never feel guilty about being rich.. it beats being poor...

unless you got your money from business which exploits vulnerable people...

by Anonymousreply 3211/18/2012

I thought it said; Do you have "rich people" quilts".

Like an AIDs quilt. For rich people.

by Anonymousreply 3311/18/2012

r33, rich people's quilts are made of thousand dollar bills stiched together and filled with albino goose down.

by Anonymousreply 3411/18/2012

You people should feel guilty for not being rich.

by Anonymousreply 3511/18/2012

Behind every great fortune, there is a crime.

- Balzac

by Anonymousreply 3611/18/2012

People who have "rich people guilt" are the worthless slobs who inherit their money.

The people who actually EARN the wealth never feel guilty.

by Anonymousreply 3711/18/2012

Money is just a means of survival and freedom and really you run out of things to fill a hedonistic life. If people are wealthy and have a good heart they will find a way of helping other people not just by money but by their time. I earn a lot of money in the City (London) but you run out of toys, I volunteered to be a helper for a homeless charity, just to be there and listen, sometimes offering advice or helping them putting together a resume. It is not just for altruistic reasons because I enjoy it.

by Anonymousreply 3811/18/2012

[quote]Behind every great fortune, there is a crime. - Balzac

It's true.

Also, I grew up in a very wealthy family. But I was never given any money. In fact, I had to basically beg for some new outfits whenever I had a growth spurt, then was always slapped with a guilt trip.

My dad and his wife made it clear that they're not leaving anything to the next generation. No way they're not spending it all on themselves before they go out.

I also have to say that SUPER rich people account for some of the WEIRDEST people I've ever met. I'm including freaks on the street.

by Anonymousreply 3911/18/2012

We don't have guilt because we keep many people employed and pay them better than the recommended base rate. We provide meals to all our staff, and at least two travel with us when we travel, all expenses paid. Also, we keep a smaller staff of three at our country place, and their responsibilities leave them a lot of free time when we're not there - we only are there about 55-65 days a year, unless we let guests stay there and they have to be provided for.

We also give to many charities, and my partner is on three boards and I am on three others, which adds up to a considerable amount to time and effort for good causes, all offered as volunteers. We both fundraise for campaigns and give extra for these above-the-usual activities.

What is there to feel guilty about? We took what we inherited and made more, and with what we pay in taxes on top of everything else (We refuse to play games with taxes.) it all seems equitable. And taxes add up, and not just in the US, especially for apartments you don't use much. And people have to be paid to keep them clean and running, too, even when you're not there.

by Anonymousreply 4011/18/2012

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 4111/18/2012

SickEvilFuck, don't worry. This thread probably doesn't give a thorough representation. I've volunteered at various homeless shelters and so forth, which had plenty of gay men (and trans women). That's not to say that gays have to be at one end of the spectrum or the other, because I'm sure they're not, but it just goes to show that the majority probably aren't buying unlimited designer wardrobes.

by Anonymousreply 4211/18/2012

The one I find fascinating is Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who would be incredibly wealthy and successful just based on her acting work.

But she's one of the heirs to the Dreyfus banking fortune, and her net worth is currently estimated at $3 billion.

I've never heard anything about her except that she's pleasant and professional, but it's interesting to think that what she earns for "Veep" or "Old Christine" -- which would be a fortune for most of us -- is probably the equivalent of an extra $100 for her.

by Anonymousreply 4311/18/2012

My ex boyfriend is rich. Not filthy rich, but owns a nice home, has a couple of million on the bank, and has a dream job that pays him around 500k a year. He's a wonderful man, but he complains about not having money ALL the time. It's so frustrating. Thankfully, after being partner for years, I can tell him to STFU and leave the waitress and extra $5 tip.

by Anonymousreply 4411/18/2012

I find a lack of compassion from those less well off when I get hit with losing a relative or argue for a raise in salary. People think because you have money that you shouldn't ask for a raise or that you'll be okay when a loved one passes. Like if you have money you have no right to feel sad when life's downers hit. When I lost one of my parents the only thing the have-nots focused on was my inheritance and it how unfair it seemed to them that I should given so much. They passed over my love and relationship with a wonderful parent and could only hone in on the spoils. This really hurt and made me leery of those who have had a hard luck life. They come off as sociopaths with no empathy.

by Anonymousreply 4511/19/2012

No, but I do have poor person's misery and fear. Wanna trade?

by Anonymousreply 4611/19/2012

[quote]at least two travel with us when we travel, all expenses paid.

r40, this is not a perk. They are still working, and away from home, friends, family. Business travel is business travel, and it ain't all that.

by Anonymousreply 4711/19/2012

Now sweaties, what does this word "guilt" mean?

Ever so curious, dolls.

by Anonymousreply 4811/19/2012

Character has nothing to do with bank balances or even philanthropy.

by Anonymousreply 4911/19/2012

The OP is a stupid ("definitly?") troll. A particularly stupid asshole troll.

by Anonymousreply 5011/19/2012
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