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Teenagers don't understand their place in the pecking order

I've been working with teens....I can't believe how deluded they (both boys and girls.) They are all always in love with the most beautiful girl/boy in the school yet they are strikingly average looking. I almost feel like they need to teach a course about how pretty people date pretty people and average people date average people.

by just musing....reply 7611/18/2012

r1=average person dreaming of a pretty face

by just musing....reply 211/16/2012

It's essential that you crush their spirits and break their little hearts, OP. Have at it.

by just musing....reply 311/16/2012

I didn't tell them you, idiots....I posted it on DL for discussion....

by just musing....reply 411/16/2012

But, but...the fat girl on Glee dated the pretty one.

by just musing....reply 511/16/2012

r1 = 17 years old and eaten up with insecurity

by just musing....reply 611/16/2012

I am a formerly plain kid of average talent and intelligence who could have easily accepted OPs worldview at an early age and settled for a plain and unremarkable life. I always wanted an exciting and exceptional life, however-wanted to have gorgeous lovers and brilliant friends and have interesting jobs, and travel and occasionally partake in the glamorous life.

My history is littered with people who tried to put me in my place, snub me, freeze me out, condescend to me , exclude me, belittle my qualifications and generally try to "help me understand my place in the pecking order" I never listened to a single one of them. Always found a workaround, a window, someone, anyone who believed in me and was willing to help me.

And now I'm happy to say I've managed to achieve pretty much exactly the life always wanted. On the other hand, most of the beautiful people I went to high school with now sort of look like the types who get their crappy homes redecorated on HGTV.

One thing I certainly never set out to do, however, is to work with homely teenagers. Since OP clearly does not enjoy working with these kids either, Im assuming he fell into it by default. My advice to any teenagers who might be on the receiving end of his "wisdom" would be: Consider the source.

by just musing....reply 711/16/2012

OP, you are trying far too hard.

But then I read Ms. R7.

by just musing....reply 811/16/2012

oh lord!!! I'm quitting this thread!!! My point was there are like 30 girls lusting after the cute boy and vice versa....if they would just link up with each other they might be happier!!!!!

This is why we can't have nice threads!!!!

by just musing....reply 911/16/2012

R9 your probably should have said that in the first post then.... But then again we can't have nice threads because of idiots like you

by just musing....reply 1011/16/2012

oh lord!!! I'm quitting this thread!!! My point was there are like 30 girls lusting after the cute boy and vice versa....if they would just link up with each other they might be happier!!!!!

This is why we can't have nice threads!!!! by: op......out of here!!!!

Mary ... on an SST Concorde jet!!!

by just musing....reply 1111/16/2012

They'll learn.

Also, I think you needed a few more exclamation points at R9, OP.

by just musing....reply 1211/16/2012

I got a fake Facebook account to snoop on my high school and college classmates and must admit, 15 years later, the mid-thirties have not been kind to both female and, especially, the male hotties. But I was disappointed an older, particularly mean girl, has blossomed into a very beautiful late-thirties vampish looking woman, sort of like the chick who slept with Patreus.

by just musing....reply 1311/16/2012

Maybe they're all gay, OP.

by just musing....reply 1411/16/2012

[quote] I've seen pretty people date average people. Anyways get over it, it's a hormonal crush they have and shitting on their fantasy isn't going to help them.

Who the fuck ever said we need to help these little shits? Let them grow up in the school of hard knocks, just like everybody else.

Stop CODDLING this generation!

by just musing....reply 1511/16/2012

They suffer from Aniston-Parker Symdrome. I blame the media.

by just musing....reply 1611/16/2012

"They are all always in love with the most beautiful girl/boy in the school yet they are strikingly average looking."

Oh for fuck's sake, adults do that, and maturity doesn't stop it. Ask an 80 year old widower what kind of girlfiend he's looking for, and he'll probably describe a 25 year old hottie.

If you want to give the teenagers useful advice, OP, ignore their sex lives and tell them to develop a work ethic.

by just musing....reply 1711/16/2012

Today's teenagers are all smart, they're all beautiful, they're all worthy, and they're all deserving. According to the media, schools, and parents. Why would they expect anything less than perfection?

It's funny when I read 18-20 somethings post on Craigslist. They demand EVERYTHING.

Be in shape, goodlooking, gym bod, height weight proportional, smart, funny, intelligent, tall, model looks, etc. etc. Anything less than perfection is well... not for them.

HA! I predict that there will be a lot of single people in this next generation of gays. They all want the 1 out of 1000, and will settle for nothing less.

Good luck, bitches!

by just musing....reply 1811/16/2012

Idiot generation. Not even savvy enough to be the new "Me Generation". Best that they can muster is the "LOOK AT ME Generation". Shitty culture, shitty music, shitty fashion, and emasculated men. Pathetic. I knew IQ levels were going down, now there is a study that proves it to be true. Makes complete sense.

by just musing....reply 1911/16/2012

Attractiveness is a relative thing. What was attractive 20 years ago, is not today. So they are responding to peer pressure and illusion, which are all manifestations of the ego to begin with. AKA if I hang around famous people, then I too will become famous.....if I date....then I too will be that attractive.

All products of broken egos and the emotional need.

by just musing....reply 2011/16/2012

The OP should not work with children.

by just musing....reply 2111/16/2012

Fortunately, not everyone is quite as shallow as our incredibly delicate little OP. It is possible that the only thing thinner than his personal awareness is his skin.

by just musing....reply 2211/16/2012

OP, Thank you for posting. Are you in a position of advising these kids? Too many Americans, teens and older, have serious anger issues from being constantly rejected. Part of gaining maturity, which some never really achieve, is learning to look outside of yourself, whether you're seeking a partner or a job in a corporation. A 70 year old man seeking a young hottie, that he doesn't have to buy, is just as sad as a 22 year old seeking work and not seriously looking at the job requirements. If you want a far more attractive partner, you need to focus on what that other person really wants and is not currently getting. Believe me it is possible.

by just musing....reply 2311/16/2012

The OP does have a point. A lot of (inexperienced) people would benefit from casting a wider net and not just fixating on mr/ms #1. Not because they're not good enough but because they're closing themselves off from potentially good experiences.

by just musing....reply 2411/16/2012

Teenagers don't understand a lot of things. Because they are...teenagers. I am wondering if OP is one too.

by just musing....reply 2511/16/2012

I shudder to think what the idiot OP who "works with teens (God help the poor little buggers)" tries to convey to his/her hapless charges. If this fuckhead really thinks that moderately attractive teens should "stay in their place in the pecking order" then this creep has a deep-seated dislike of young people. To tell teens that they should only stick to their own kind, that is, teens who aren't that great-looking, is cruelty any way you look at it.

I suspect the OP is just a stupid troll. If not, he/she is an asshole of immense proportions. An UGLY asshole.

by just musing....reply 2611/16/2012

OP, you're an ass.

Leave them alone and let them have their fantasies.

by just musing....reply 2711/16/2012

Although OP's original post was snarky and thus he is getting the derision he deserves, there is a grain of truth to what he says. Of all my friends who have remained single their entire adult lives, most of them only crush on the most beautiful woman in their social sphere. Women who are years younger than they are, much hotter and who would never give them a second thought. I've always wondered about this. My gay friends do the same thing. Guys in their 40s,50s who only crush on 20 yr olds or guys who are extremely hot while they themselves are decidedly average looking. I mean, get a clue.

by just musing....reply 2811/16/2012

i agree with r25. They're young and have a lot to learn.

What's sadder to me is the many gay men I've known who continue, as they age, to be on the prowl for 'the one' who's hot and rich and hung and perfect in every way, while being oblivious to the shortcomings others might see in them.

I don't know why and i know it's somewhat of a stereotype but a lot of gay men seem to get old without getting any more mature.

by just musing....reply 2911/16/2012

Thank God someone like OP doesn't actually work with children.

by just musing....reply 3011/16/2012

There's plenty to dislike about teenagers.

But teenagers are going to be attracted to whoever they find most superficially appealing, and I'm surprised that OP is most surprised about THAT. If he's not a troll. Teenagers are also going to obsess and waste can't change that or control how they do so.

Finally, it's true that some of the prettiest people as teens become fug as adults. Average-looking people can age well. And there's even the occasion where two teens with "attractiveness differences" do date if they're in the same social circle. Between my places of education and various amusement parks and movie theaters, I've seen thousands of them.

At any rate, it's probably one of the silliest things about teenagers for adult mentors to become personally concerned about.

by just musing....reply 3111/16/2012

R18 knows what it's like to be old and single.

by just musing....reply 3211/16/2012

OP doesn't understand his place in the DL pecking order...

Aren't you a sweet little thing anyway, but HUSH now, just HUSH!

by just musing....reply 3311/16/2012

This little senorita named Rossi di Palma wants to be an actress. I better tell her ... with that face? Not to be cruel, but I don't think so honey.

by just musing....reply 3411/16/2012

Your daughter Cherilyn is too tall, has a funny singing voice, and she's a half-breed, Mrs. Sarkisian. She's really not cut out for show business.

by just musing....reply 3511/16/2012

How dare they think they're just as good as anyone else!

by just musing....reply 3611/16/2012

I was a fat, unpopular teenager, and am now considered 'hot'. I lost weight, exercise, and take care of myself. I have been asked by more than one person if I had work done (to my face) because I look so good/different. I have not had any work done, but it is weird to me how people's perceptions of physical beauty are so weird. Obviously my face has thinned out, but for it to look completely different in other peoples estimation?

by just musing....reply 3711/16/2012

[quote]I was a fat, unpopular teenager, and am now considered 'hot'.

I'll be the judge of that.

Link please.

by just musing....reply 3811/16/2012

Like other posters have mentioned, this phenomenon continues to happen at all stages of life. All people, even the non-beautiful, are attracted to beauty. It's just the way of the world.

That being said, lately I've seen some pretty hot younger guys with some homely looking girls. Has the metrosexual/fitness revolution just created a glut of VGL dudes? Seems like a great time to be a high school or college girl. Overshooting for the girls seems commonplace.

by just musing....reply 3911/16/2012

Young guys are much hawter than when I was in high school. They work out and groom and dress better.

Another reason for gay guys to pursue teaching, I guess.

by just musing....reply 4011/16/2012

Going from "not" to "hot" is more common than some people think, especially with boys, because it's often just a matter of losing weight (if you had decent facial genes to begin with). And boys lose weight much more easily than girls during maturity.

I count myself as one of them. I don't post pics of myself online, but I'm confident with my own photographic evidence.

by just musing....reply 4111/16/2012

Average looking sluts can date anyone, for a little while.

by just musing....reply 4211/16/2012

[quote]That being said, lately I've seen some pretty hot younger guys with some homely looking girls. Has the metrosexual/fitness revolution just created a glut of VGL dudes? Seems like a great time to be a high school or college girl. Overshooting for the girls seems commonplace.

I notice things like this...and it's always been happening. And ugh, no. Maybe it's just that you don't find girls/women attractive, but a number of the pretty ones date straight-up hobbits. I actually think there's been more psychology done on the other phenomenon--the pretty woman/ugly man pairing, that is.

by just musing....reply 4311/16/2012

op is on to something....NY is full of ugly girls and gays all looking for JFK Jr.

by just musing....reply 4411/16/2012

Wit and Wisdom for R 35.

by just musing....reply 4511/16/2012

Unless you have money.......

by just musing....reply 4611/16/2012

it's actually very common to see hot straight guys with homely/fat girls. I see it all the time. straight men have strange taste.

by just musing....reply 4711/16/2012

"I don't post pics of myself online, but I'm confident with my own photographic evidence."

But the thing is, we're not confident of your opinion. So you'll have to post pictures if you want us to believe you, or we'll just assume you're deluded or lying.

Link please.

by just musing....reply 4811/16/2012

r47 must be in the UK

by just musing....reply 4911/16/2012

R39, R47, Some very attractive men just want a girl to "worship" them, and to please them in and out of bed. They've learned that beautiful girls are so often hit on that they get very spoiled.

by just musing....reply 5011/16/2012

In all the many places I've lived, I've never seen hot straight men with homely/fat girls.

Not sure where you live, R47, or have lived.

It is no common at all. Practically non-existent.

It happens in rare occasions where a blue-collar working class not very educated guy who is moderately good looking has a homely/fat girlfriend or wife. But even that is rare.

by just musing....reply 5111/16/2012

There's some weird correlation in the human mind between the idea that because someone is handsome/pretty, they must also be good hearted and therefore will see beyond the exterior of the person crushing on them and choose them for their heart and their utter devotion and love. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Good looking people, and I am not talking about ones who have a window of good looking in high school and/or in their twenties, but absolutely indisputably beautiful people from birth who are always set aside, put on a pedestal, and treated like royalty, on the whole are the most shallow, superficial, and surface oriented people who only want a partner who they believe mirrors their own beauty and shows them in a good light. To reference Anniston again, when Angelina Jolie came along, Brad Pitt dropped her like a hot rock.

So it is and so it ever shall be.

by just musing....reply 5211/16/2012

I thought this thread was about teens knowing their pecking order in society not who they are "allowed" to be attracted to.

Teens now are not all attractive and wonderful. Many of them have no taste, smell, are loud, socially inept, and seem to enhance their worst attributes. Not to mention, they push their way in lines ahead of adults, are grammatically ignorant, think adults (other than their parents, though I'm not sure) give a shit about them, are loud, interruptive, and are blatant idiots. In short, worthless thanks to someone telling them they are perfect.

When I was a teen, I knew when to shut my mouth around adults. I knew how to address them (Mr. Mrs. never "Hey, you"), knew never to butt into adult conversations, and never asked adults personal questions. Basically, I was seen and not heard till I was around 18 and working.

by just musing....reply 5311/16/2012

[quote]"I don't post pics of myself online, but I'm confident with my own photographic evidence."

But the thing is, we're not confident of your opinion. So you'll have to post pictures if you want us to believe you, or we'll just assume you're deluded or lying.

Link please.

You first!

by just musing....reply 5411/16/2012

You think teenagers are terrible at this, I work at a middle school and they are the most awful people in the world.

by just musing....reply 5511/16/2012

When have teenagers ever understood their place in the pecking order? When have teenager ever thought their shit didn't stink?

by just musing....reply 5611/17/2012

Who doesn't want the alpha penis at that age??

by just musing....reply 5711/17/2012

[quote]You first!

I'm making no claims for myself as hot on an internet forum. But you are. So put your money where your mouth is.

by just musing....reply 5811/17/2012

Agreed r43. I find that the beautiful woman/homely man is a bigger phenomenon than the hot man/homely woman one. I also notice that straight men tend to get enraged when a woman rejects them. They can't understand why she wouldn't want them no matter what they look like or what they do or what they're like as a person. Whereas a lot of women tend to go the other way and have major self-esteem issues, thinking no one would want them.

by just musing....reply 5911/17/2012

I work at a university and I love the young people I work with.

I try to tell them to go after their dreams and have fun, I tell them to move to New York City when they are young and experience that while they can, tell the girls to wait to have kids and follow their passions and have a career. Basically plant little subversive seeds of just how much the wonderful world has to offer if they have the guts to go out and get it.

They seem pretty open and eager to learn and want to know how to be good people in their relationships with friends, how to hook up, how to get off drugs, all the shit I went through in my twenties and wish I had someone to just give me a heads up who wasn't fucking Nancy Reagan telling me not to do drugs or shaming me. I say, be safe, everything in moderation, and suck up knowledge like a sponge. These are mostly twenty somethings, but a few are teenagers.

I love being around young people, it is way more fun than being around stick in the mud 40 year olds who have given up on their dreams, their passions, or pursing anything and start to dress dowdy and never go out. I have felt a lot of renewed energy and aliveness since starting to work with young people and I only want to continue to do it. I have a lot of hope for this generation. They are super conscious of the earth, interested in a lot of causes, and will stop and have a conversation about poetry or film noir or whatever they are studying with enthusiasm.

I would never, under any circumstances acknowledge a pecking order for them or tell them not to follow their passions. They will find out, like we all did, their limitations. Let them grow and discover themselves.

by just musing....reply 6011/17/2012

Being in love with the most beautiful is natural Op. You have no right to intervene in their young dreams. They will learn themselves when time will come and they either lose or win. You lose some you win some, anyway...

by just musing....reply 6211/17/2012

Why are gay men so obsessed with pecking orders and hierarchies? They are far more obsessed with it than straight people are, and lesbians are far more the most part pretty equalizing. But gay men like the OP want to assign everyone letter grades based on beauty, fame, and money. I really don't see what it gets us.

by just musing....reply 6311/17/2012

What teens think is attractive changes, subject to external influences.

In the 1970s, this was what was consider a sexy look. Today it is revolting.

by just musing....reply 6411/17/2012

Bullying IS the pecking order in action.

by just musing....reply 6511/17/2012

Agree with r63.

by just musing....reply 6611/17/2012

Please. Go to any mall, music event or other place you see a large amount of people and see how it really shakes out. I've heard so many men and women hating asking, "why is he with HER?" "How'd her pull her???" (jealous SOBs). After HS, for non-tedious people, this is more a tendency than a rule (that people with comparable looks date).

by just musing....reply 6711/17/2012

[quote]I've heard so many men and women hating asking,..."How'd her pull her???"

You must know lots of ungrammatical lesbians.

by just musing....reply 6811/17/2012

Sounds more like OP is putting his issues on other people. Let me guess...OP got rejected by one of the beautiful people at some point in his callow youth.

by just musing....reply 6911/17/2012

R7, if what you say is true, maybe your intelligence isn't average. To do what you have claimed to do takes some pretty high level problem-solving skills.

by just musing....reply 7011/17/2012

Why can't they be like we were, perfect in every way ...what's the matter with kids today?

by just musing....reply 7111/18/2012

[quote]They are all always in love with the most beautiful girl/boy in the school yet they are strikingly average looking


Sounds like your typical 'mo

by just musing....reply 7211/18/2012

Thanks OP for exposing your shallowest of shortcomings. You sound like a teenager yourself.

by just musing....reply 7311/18/2012

OP sounds like such a queeny mary.

by just musing....reply 7411/18/2012

[quote] Teenagers don't understand their place in the pecking order

Welcome to Human Behavior on Earth 101.

by just musing....reply 7511/18/2012

Aren't the gays trying to outlaw the pecking order?

by just musing....reply 7611/18/2012
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