Sorry, but that is the way it is.
A woman must achieve a child in order to validate her life.
|by Anonymous||reply 122||11/21/2012|
Okay, I will tell Oprah.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||11/14/2012|
What does validate your life mean? Do you get a certificate or a badge?
|by Anonymous||reply 3||11/14/2012|
|by Anonymous||reply 4||11/14/2012|
OP - you're wrong.. a woman must have a husband and then a child to validate her life..
i cannot tell you how many cunts look at me with a fucking smugness when they ask am I married 'no' .. do i have children 'no'.. and then say it is a shame and that my clock is ticking and i don't have a husband.
because some man putting a ring on my finger is the defining moment of my life.
not my education, not running my own business, not my contribution to the community.. no.. it is being married.
i am right with you on your rant.. OMG...
|by Anonymous||reply 6||11/14/2012|
|by Anonymous||reply 7||11/14/2012|
Funny business, a woman's career - the things you drop on your way up the ladder so you can move faster. You forget you'll need them again when you get back to being a woman. That's one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman. Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted.
And in the last analysis, nothing's any good unless you can look up just before dinner or turn around in bed, and there he is. Without that, you're not a woman. You're something with a French provincial office or a book full of clippings, but you're not a woman.
Slow curtain, the end.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||11/14/2012|
Can she kill it and eat it after it is born, but still have her validation?
|by Anonymous||reply 9||11/14/2012|
My teacher said I was an achiever
|by Anonymous||reply 10||11/14/2012|
OP = nuts
|by Anonymous||reply 11||11/14/2012|
r8 whaaaat?? tha...
|by Anonymous||reply 12||11/14/2012|
Most women I know without children are happier and far more interesting than the ones with. I don't think any of them regret not having children.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||11/14/2012|
A lady's name may only appear in the newspaper three times. When she is born, when she gets married, and when she dies.
Sorry but that is just the way it is.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||11/14/2012|
Good thing we don't all believe that or the world would be more overpopulated than it already is
|by Anonymous||reply 15||11/14/2012|
I would like free parking for life, please; I would feel very validated.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||11/14/2012|
Is OP Ann Romney?
|by Anonymous||reply 18||11/14/2012|
The OP is a particularly lame, stupid troll.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||11/14/2012|
I'm a child-free woman by choice - it's amazing how many women I've talked to who come right out and say that, if they could turn back time, they would not have children.
That's why I think that the parade of judgemental women, who can't deal with my choice, go on and on at me about my wasted life - jealousy.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||11/14/2012|
Every person must consist of a sperm cell and an egg sell to validate their life.
|by Anonymous||reply 27||11/14/2012|
The OP is trying to rile you all up. Unfortunately, it worked.
Don't let this shit make you crazy. Please.
Oh and if you aren't pregnant, then can you fix me a sandwich? I must have impregnated 3 different women today and I've really worked up an appetite.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||11/14/2012|
Tragic that your father or the scumbag your mom picked up in dive bar - which might be the same thing - had to go and "empregnante" your mom, OP.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||11/14/2012|
What the piss are you talking about OP?!--you need to suck more cock and some guy with a 9 inch dick needs to fuck some sense into you up your pathetic ass.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||11/14/2012|
Well, OPs mother certainly didn't achieve much judging by OP's post.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||11/14/2012|
OP you talk like you don't wipe your ass thoroughly enough--maybe it's because you are so FUCKING FULL OF SHIT!!
|by Anonymous||reply 32||11/14/2012|
Some married women with children have a smug sense of entitlement.
|by Anonymous||reply 33||11/14/2012|
I am my momma's validation, salvation and mutation.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||11/15/2012|
is OP Grumpy,rumpy, Umpy? Or is that Ms. Patrick Campbell?
|by Anonymous||reply 36||11/15/2012|
No, many wonen don't have them, which makes Rssmugs unhappy.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||11/15/2012|
R12, please tell me you're not fucking serious.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||11/15/2012|
My brother's wife always said that women who don't have children are not really women. Unfortunately a lot of women think like that. A lot.
|by Anonymous||reply 40||11/15/2012|
I spent many years wishing I was never born (and sometimes still do), because my mom had kids to feel "important". She didn't actually want to have a healthy maternal role. It caused MANY terrible problems for many people.
However, she's older, and was explicitly taught by her parents that wifehood and child-rearing are the most important things for women.
I like to think that a few more modern, well-adjusted women now have courage to resist having children if they know it's not right, though they may have a strong biological urge to do so.
|by Anonymous||reply 41||11/15/2012|
I do think that a person needs to have the experience of caring for another human being - whether it is a child, a parent, a sibling, work related, a spouse or partner or even friend.
It is the responsibility for another person's well being - whether long term or short term - of putting someone else's needs before your own that is life's lesson.
Being a parent does not guarantee you will fulfill that role in another's life even when they are your own children. I have taken care of several friends and relatives during terminal illnesses and for me those are life validating experiences.
I do realize the OP is a troll though.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||11/15/2012|
How about a good-looking, hot father having an ass-smacking good time with his son(s)?
OP You need to suck dick next time then maybe you wouldn't have these "child" neuroses and problems. If some of these girls would swallow that stuff instead of sittin' on it they wouldn't have these problems.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||11/15/2012|
And conversely, a man must sire a child to validate his life.
by: take that homo-boys!
|by Anonymous||reply 46||11/15/2012|
Because women are incapable of trolling, right R45
I applaud OP for drawing out the true straight chick bigots who squat here
|by Anonymous||reply 47||11/15/2012|
true R49 but only because too many insecure straight women play along with it
|by Anonymous||reply 50||11/15/2012|
You miss the point r52-51. Straight men do not have conquests unless they are rapists or have willing participants. While rapists certainly exist, there are more than enough willing straight female partipants to keep the usual cads happy
|by Anonymous||reply 54||11/15/2012|
And you allowed OP to succeed R53. Brava to you. Or maybe you need special rules so that something like this should never happen again
|by Anonymous||reply 55||11/15/2012|
[quote]Some married women with children have a smug sense of entitlement.
Of course they do. It's all they've got. They bought into the fantasy and now they're stuck with a bozo of a husband and horrible demanding kids.
They either cover their reality with a layer of smugness or they run away from home.
|by Anonymous||reply 57||11/15/2012|
Many women really do feel that, but there really are women who don't. My sister is 41, can't have children of her own, is very aware that having a child at her age isn't as easy as it's portrayed, and knows that she can have a "validated" life sans child. But, of all things, she feels like she's letting my mother down because she won't have grandchildren, unless I adopt.
I have 40-something female friends, great careers, great families (parents, siblings, nieces, nephews,etc.), lots of friends, active, intelligent. Many ARE truly disappointed not having children. Not to the point of being crazy about it, but admittedly disappointed.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||11/15/2012|
OP, you're just trying to stir shit, aren't you? Go f--k yourself. You forget the women who are biologically incapable, for whatever reason, of having a child. Not me, I'm child-free by choice but I had 2 aunts and have 1 female friend who would have LOVED to have children but couldn't, physically.
I remember Courtney Love, years ago, saying something (in other words) abou propagating the species, and every woman (like her) should pop out a kid already.
Hmmm - how'd THAT work out for her???????
If women WANT to have children - fine. My mother did (2) and could never understand why I didn't; I knew I was too selfish. Now, at almost (biological) GREAT-grandmother age (not quite 60) I occasionally envy people who have kids/grandkids, even (am living, unhappily, in a small town currently) but overall I don't regret a thing.
Having kids isn't for everyone. And look at the f---ing sows who breed and have NO BUSINESS bringing up kids, 'cause they suck at it.
But OP, in case - as I suspect/hope - your post is largely humorous, you ARE right that in the eyes of MOST of society, even these days: women are not "fulfilled" without having children.
Crock of shit, if you ask me.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||11/15/2012|
[quote]You miss the point [R52]-51. Straight men do not have conquests unless they are rapists or have willing participants.
How did you even figure out how to use the internet?
|by Anonymous||reply 60||11/15/2012|
This is not a frau baiting thread. If that was the intention, it failed. Fraus have kids. OP is trolling the DL lesbos.
|by Anonymous||reply 61||11/15/2012|
The trolls here are getting worse.
Perhaps I should troll for better trolls.
|by Anonymous||reply 62||11/15/2012|
It constantly amazes me that gay men seem to think they're experts on women.
Male privilege indeed.
|by Anonymous||reply 63||11/15/2012|
OP is just trolling. And of course his/her premise is wrong.
And I say that as a mother.
|by Anonymous||reply 64||11/15/2012|
Does it count if the kid turns out to have severe birth defects, retardation or autism? How long does it have to survive after birth in order to provide validation? Does a miscarriage count? How about an ectopic pregnancy (where the fertilized egg implants itself outside the uterus--yes, it does happen, a lot.) If so, how far along in the pregnancy does it have to be before it counts? Does a fertilized blastocyst count, as many right-to-lifers like Paul Ryan insist? If so, pretty much every sexually active woman with a functioning set of ovaries has probably been validated at least once.
But don't let me disturb your retro dream, OP. I'm guessing it also includes mink coats, perfect strands of pearls and dialing the phone with a pencil.
|by Anonymous||reply 65||11/15/2012|
I can't believe how many of y'all responded to this blatant, transparent troll. You're better than this, DL.
|by Anonymous||reply 66||11/15/2012|
Here is my serious answer to this silly question.
I think at some point in your life--between 35 and 45 for most modern people--you do need life to be something beyond *you*.
I know the criticism is often lodged against straight parents that they only have children to further their own DNA and that their progeny become a "pride project." That's true in some cases, but I think it says more about the parents and about the society they live in, than in the act of having children.
At a certain point, in order to truly mature, life has to be about something other than self indulgence.
But there are so many ways you can be a nurturer--volunteering being a prime example.
It's been amazing to me to watch the folks day after day volunteering in shelters to help the victims of Sandy. The call for volunteers pretty clearly reads: "No children." Most of the people I know who are volunteering are childless. God bless them.
Some women can't have children--and some men too. Some of those people want children. There are still ways for them to "parent" than by having children--or even adopting.
Caring for others is undervalued.
|by Anonymous||reply 67||11/15/2012|
We have had many "ass-babies"!
|by Anonymous||reply 68||11/15/2012|
R65, OP is baiting. But the false sense of "mandatory validation" that some people place on having children exists in carrying the child to term and bearing it, so that the parent(s) can then exert his/her control over the child in his/her chosen manner. In the dysfunctional sense, it's a strategic, manipulative attempt to form an extension of oneself.
|by Anonymous||reply 69||11/15/2012|
I know a single mom who, while perfectly happy before she had her kid will now say crap like "there's no greater joy than hearing your child laugh" or "I wouldn't take eight billion dollars over my child's laughter."
She has such a limited worldview that she can't allow for any other standards but her own.
|by Anonymous||reply 70||11/15/2012|
R70 People who say things like that all the time can be annoying, but some parents really do feel like that and can't shut up about it. Having a child can totally change one's brain chemistry to completely fixate on offspring. It's like falling in love times 20,000.
I have a friend who literally couldn't stand children. Someone once told her that she would love her own, and she bitched the woman out. Then she got pregnant by accident and somehow decided to have it. Guess what her sole obsession is now? Yep. Her daughter. Nothing else is important to her. It goes on record as the most insane turn-around I've ever witnessed, but at least she's been glowing with bliss for the last 6 years.
|by Anonymous||reply 71||11/15/2012|
Stupidest thread ever...
|by Anonymous||reply 72||11/15/2012|
[quote]At a certain point, in order to truly mature, life has to be about something other than self indulgence.
Having kids is totally selfish and self-indulgent for most people, a total vanity project. Others do it because it's just what happens or it's what's expected of them.
If you imagine it as some sort of selfless sacrifice to better the world, you've drunk the Kool Aid.
|by Anonymous||reply 73||11/15/2012|
[quote] achieve a child
what does this mean? I've never heard this phrase before.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||11/15/2012|
like it or not i believe the OP told the truth. but equally or even more so men need to sire children as well. to shirk life's responsibilities and duty to family is to remain a puer aeternus/puella aeterna forever which is what you see so clearly in gay/lesbian culture at large. thankfully with our growing acceptance, we can mature beyond this extended adolescence, partner-up and with the gay gods willing, adopt and provide ourselves along with the world greater fulfillment.
|by Anonymous||reply 75||11/15/2012|
My advice to you and your obvious problem r75 is to gobble more cock even cocks of fat ugly men and swallow more cum, yes, become a real cum slut, that would straighten you out.
|by Anonymous||reply 76||11/15/2012|
"A woman must achieve a child in order to validate her life."
This is the perfect marriage of constipated verbiage and constipated thinking.
|by Anonymous||reply 77||11/15/2012|
"Having kids is totally selfish and self-indulgent for most people, a total vanity project. Others do it because it's just what happens or it's what's expected of them."
Ah, the problems of residents of the first world . . .
Some people actually love children, and love having families. And some people want that joy for gay people too. And if you don't want children, then don't have them. It isn't such a black and white issue.
|by Anonymous||reply 78||11/15/2012|
I'm sorry you're an idiot, OP.
|by Anonymous||reply 79||11/15/2012|
The other one I hate are the parents who say "you don't have a child so you don't understand what I'm going through!"
|by Anonymous||reply 80||11/15/2012|
OP is baiting, and it's totally working.
|by Anonymous||reply 81||11/15/2012|
how does one "achieve" a child?
|by Anonymous||reply 82||11/15/2012|
r82, the slower moving ones are pretty easy to catch.
|by Anonymous||reply 83||11/15/2012|
One actually achieves a child by beating it like a video game. The problem is that only the ones with outtie bellybuttons power up.
|by Anonymous||reply 84||11/15/2012|
[quote]It is the responsibility for another person's well being - whether long term or short term - of putting someone else's needs before your own that is life's lesson.
Why do you think that life has only one 'lesson' to offer?
|by Anonymous||reply 85||11/15/2012|
Ann Romny is a valid woman? I don't think so.
|by Anonymous||reply 86||11/15/2012|
Don't be too hard on the OP. He/she may be a troll but they brought up a common belief. Women, especially, believe a woman's goal is to snag a guy and have kids. Most of my friends did that and ended up divorced and their kids messed up. That's why I hate meeting up with old friends. Their first questions are "are you married, do you have kids"? It feels bad to say no, no husband, no kids. It's like I wasted my purpose in life.
Nowadays, women just skip the hubby and get knocked up. At least the fulfill one validation.
I was a bit more picky so I didn't get the man I wanted nor the kid but I am not sure I would have been a good mother.
|by Anonymous||reply 87||11/15/2012|
Ted Bundy's, Hitler's, Bush's, etc., mothers all validated their lives.
|by Anonymous||reply 88||11/15/2012|
Achieve? Like XBox?
|by Anonymous||reply 89||11/15/2012|
I think OP may have heard the term "conceive a child" & misunderstood what the verb means (i.e., "to become pregnant", not "to carry & deliver & raise a child"), while also misunderstanding what the verb is (i.e., not "achieve").
So OP is quasi-literate & hard of hearing in addition to being misguided & misogynistic.
|by Anonymous||reply 90||11/15/2012|
Oh, then in that case: the stereotypes are that it's more the straight mens' validation to make a woman CONCEIVE. It's more of a woman thing to physically have one to parent.
|by Anonymous||reply 91||11/16/2012|
Why is everyone in this thread so fucking stupid? Except for OP and r81.
|by Anonymous||reply 92||11/16/2012|
Love you R13. I am 40 divorced, childless and really happy. I think children are great, but if you don't want them 110% - then don't have them.
I wanted a career, friends, travel, the ability to watch the Daily Show in my kitchen whilst having a smoothie for dinner, serial monogamy, and most of all I wanted "my life" and not a cookie cutter one that all "gals" should aspire too. It works for Clooney and it works for me. Different strokes, folks
|by Anonymous||reply 93||11/16/2012|
[quote]So OP is quasi-literate & hard of hearing in addition to being misguided & misogynistic.
|by Anonymous||reply 94||11/16/2012|
[quote]I am not sure I would have been a good mother.
On the contrary, R87 you probably would be a great one. It's the women (and men) who know it's not all fun, easy and the responsibility cost is high that seem to do well with it.
The people who should *never* have children are the "it's God's will" and the "I just have so much love to give" or "I want a baby who will love me" who raise kids in tragedy and dysfunction.
|by Anonymous||reply 95||11/16/2012|
I contest that, R92. If there are nothing but stupid answers that lead to dead-end conversations, it was likely a stupid choice of "prompt" (yes, even in the context of trolling).
|by Anonymous||reply 96||11/16/2012|
I don't want kids. I'd rather eat pussy.
|by Anonymous||reply 97||11/16/2012|
OP is what is wrong with America. People having kids for selfish reasons.
|by Anonymous||reply 98||11/16/2012|
R95 totally nailed it. I have so many friends that have had kids for the wrong reasons. Raising children well is critical, not just to the child, but to society at large. I just never wanted it that much.
I do believe that nurturing people/living things is critical, and I do that in a myriad of ways.
I have evolved from my feminist, punk grrl youth of referring to children as "flesh anchors", though...
|by Anonymous||reply 99||11/16/2012|
Crossing the border and having all 10 of my babies at the San Diego hospital where they are instant anchor citizens has TOTALLY validated me. Life is way better on this side. To become fully validated, however, my 7 girls need to get pregnant and have as many as I did, all by the age of 30 just like me. Then we live together and checks keep coming no matter what we do! Mucho mejor que Mexico!
|by Anonymous||reply 101||11/16/2012|
Boys and girls must loose there virginitys in order to validify there life.
|by Anonymous||reply 102||11/16/2012|
They're worse than rats! Adolf, where are you when we need you?
|by Anonymous||reply 103||11/16/2012|
I just remembered something else she does. Her kid always has to win. She makes sure her house is the best decorated for holidays, she has to get the toy that's better than the other kids have. She goes way over the top for his birthday parties so that she wins the best mom contest in the cul de sac.
|by Anonymous||reply 104||11/16/2012|
Couldn't be less accurate, R70. Those may be the types of moms that draw the most attention, but.....
|by Anonymous||reply 105||11/16/2012|
OP, I think you need to "achieve a brain" in order to become coherent and less mentally challenged in order to validate your life, such as it is.
|by Anonymous||reply 106||11/16/2012|
r101 should be shot.
|by Anonymous||reply 107||11/16/2012|
R107, Pregnant girls, waiting until they're water breaks, and then having their babies "for free" in border town hospitals, is one of the reasons building a fence is such a joke. The anchor babies are then guaranteed citizenship and free American schooling, even if the parents choose to still live in Mexico. In other threads I've stated that the welfare system is not appropriated fairly. If the Repubs had more common sense, they'd take advantage of this disparity. Hopefully the Dems will beat them to it.
|by Anonymous||reply 108||11/16/2012|
Trust me R105. She does that crap to make people think more highly of her kid.
|by Anonymous||reply 109||11/16/2012|
You don't have to achieve a child. Macy's will validate your life for you if you just show them your birth certificate.
|by Anonymous||reply 110||11/16/2012|
R70/109, Uh, I know. I'm saying that those types of moms don't make up the majority. They just command the most attention.
|by Anonymous||reply 111||11/16/2012|
Well, here's to this horrible, dumb-ass thread dying a well deserved death but before it does I want to ask the question, is there any other country on earth that has a law as stupid and self defeating as the one here that allows "anchor babies"? Lately it's not doing any good as INS, in deporting their stupid, wretched asses, tell them that the kid can stay here but they have to go. Is there anything more idiotic than some Mexican chick who hasn't a pot to piss in having kids left and right? What is wrong with them?!
|by Anonymous||reply 112||11/16/2012|
Thanfully, I never fell for the idea that a woman has to have a baby. My parents were a little nuts when I got married years ago and then no children ever came. I wanted a career, I didn't want to be tied down with kids. I'm pushing 60 and so is my husband and we are thrilled the way our lives turned out. We avoided all those hassles that parents complain about with their kids. In fact, one of my nieces (in her mid 30s) recently told me that she loves her kids but wishes she hadn't had them, and that she admired me for taking a stand and not caving in to the "norms."
Children are overrated.
|by Anonymous||reply 113||11/16/2012|
Agree with R113, and I've even felt incredible biological urges to reproduce. I listened to my inner rationale's many reasons why I don't want to call myself responsible for bringing any more children into the world. I've enjoyed many other ways of fun and charity in the meantime, and reminded myself that if I REALLY wanted kids, I'm suited to adopt one who could really use it.
|by Anonymous||reply 114||11/16/2012|
Purely anecdotal, but I'm a 48, divorced, straight woman. There was a two or three month time in my early 30s when I had a strong physical reaction to babies – seeing them, hearing them, hearing about them. It's hard to describe, but it was a longing. I got over it, and now am so glad I never gave in. The world doesn't need babies from reluctant moms. there are plenty of others.
|by Anonymous||reply 115||11/16/2012|
Agree with R20: this is just stupid, lazy trollery. "Let's start a thread to piss off the fish!" *rolling my eyes*
And what does "validate one's life" even mean? In whose eyes? Only the most conservative and retrograde traditionalists think this way. No one who matters to me, anyway.
Stupid fucking troll.
|by Anonymous||reply 116||11/16/2012|
I think people are misreading the OP and the post.
This a a portrayal of what society stands for. I'm married and childless and I don't feel that I need children to validate my life but society sure does look at me as if I do.
OP, I get it.
|by Anonymous||reply 117||11/16/2012|
"She illuminated her life by the way she died!!!!" or it might be emblazoned...I forget the exact quote.
|by Anonymous||reply 118||11/16/2012|
[quote]This a a portrayal of what society stands for.
Agree. I've heard enough 'women who don't have kids are selfish' comments to know that there's no shortage of people who think having kids is a duty.
It's another way society wants to control women's bodies.
|by Anonymous||reply 119||11/16/2012|
I agree R115 I thought about it for a very brief time when my sister had a child. I got over it and am so glad I did. I'm 43 and am way to selfish and don't want any more responsibilities than I have already. Everyone I know that has kids complain about it all the time. I know my limitations and would not make a good parent.
|by Anonymous||reply 120||11/16/2012|
R105 she goes out of her way to make sure her kid has the best or at least better than the other kids in her cul de sac. She honestly thinks it impresses the other moms. She's obsessed with the idea that everyone needs to be jealous of her kid and that he's envied.
|by Anonymous||reply 121||11/19/2012|
A very timely article - lots of miserably jealous women freaking out in the comments:
|by Anonymous||reply 122||11/21/2012|