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The Cruise Queens

A couple of elder gays I know are always taking cruises for their vacation, always to Mexico. They keep bothering my boyfriend to join their group, which mainly consists of their mother, father-in-law or dull friends who lack conversation and knowledge of world affairs other than who sucked off who in their suburban sphere of shallow friends.

They're a 50ish couple who are overweight homebodies and always having dinner parties for other elder gays, serving tired homemade "gourmet" food that always leaves me with flatulence (bad for my sex life). They seem nice enough by all accounts, but a little on the shallow side themselves, always back-stabbing people they know while acting like they are above others because they have been lovers for like 20 years and think they are the perfect gay couple

While I hate to be rude to them, I don't want to get involved with them because of their history of screwing their friends and I have a hot new boyfriend that I don't want them diddling on the sidelines (not that he would because they repulse him). They're always boasting how monogamous and in love they are, yet that's not true in the inner circles here in suburbia. Every time I visit they boast of their marriage and bring out the photos and videos if someone shows too much interest.

Now for the fourth time this year they are inviting friends to accompany them on another cheap Mexican Riviera cruise that is dull. The food is awful and everyone's gotten sick on the cruise ship food at least once.

I know I must sound awful to be talking of them this way, but I can't stand this cruise ship fetish of theirs any longer.

Anyone have similar experiences with elder gays. Or am I just an asshole who is jealous of their alleged happiness?

by Anonymousreply 4411/14/2012


by Anonymousreply 111/13/2012

Find new friends. You sound like you are intelligent and you can see through these queens. They sound dreadful.

by Anonymousreply 211/13/2012

4/10 OP

But yeah, find new friends to associate with. They sound tedious, vapid, and shallow.

Most cruises, especially the Carnival/Royal Caribbean ones are plastic, homogenized, and nothing more than malls-on-the-sea. There are better ways to spend your time for a vacation

by Anonymousreply 311/13/2012

How do you know these people? Did you meet them through work or something? Is there any way you can avoid them?

Sound like nightmares.

by Anonymousreply 411/13/2012

OP, if you don't like them, gracefully extract yourself from their lives.

by Anonymousreply 511/13/2012

You all sound like jerks.

by Anonymousreply 611/13/2012

****** THIS NEVER HAPPENED! ******

by Anonymousreply 711/13/2012

If the OP has knowledge that "the food is awful," then it's obvious he met them on a cruise!

by Anonymousreply 811/13/2012


by Anonymousreply 911/13/2012

The cruise on a food is not awful. It can be bland, but when you have to prepare food for 2,000 people, you can't make it too spicy.

by Anonymousreply 1011/13/2012

Yes, we originally met on them and their friends on a cruise I went on with a gay group of friends. It seems cruises to Mexico are popular with gays.

Don't work with them. Just got their numbers on the cruise a couple of years back and became acquaintances.

I'd rather go on a ski or hiking trip. But they're not into physical stuff like that.

by Anonymousreply 1111/13/2012

OP - Again, Fee-fi-Fo FUCK THEM! Find a group of people who do want to go skiing or hiking with you. Water seeks its own level and everyone isn't meant to be your friend. Are you that desperate for friendship that you're willing to keep hanging with these losers? Obviously, you're well beyond your high-school years.

Find a meetup group or join an organization where you can find like-minded people who are into similar activities as you are.

by Anonymousreply 1211/13/2012

OP, you are trying far too hard.

by Anonymousreply 1311/13/2012

Why bother with people you dislike? You can't choose your family but you sure as hell can choose your friends. I fail to see what the problem is here.

by Anonymousreply 1411/13/2012

OP, you sail fat.

by Anonymousreply 1511/13/2012

why are you friends with them then? this is confusing

by Anonymousreply 1611/13/2012

You can pick your friends. And you can pick your nose. But you can't pick your friend's nose.

by Anonymousreply 1711/13/2012

LOL @ R12's middle name.

by Anonymousreply 1811/14/2012

You sound very insecure. I doubt you really have that hot boyfriend. They probably invite you along on their fun vacations because they feel sorry for you. Why do I think that YOU are the overweight homebody who is trying to diddle one of THEM on the side? What's wrong? Did he turn you down?

by Anonymousreply 1911/14/2012

OP, you seem to think it's other people's fault that you can't assert yourself. Grow some balls.

by Anonymousreply 2011/14/2012

This is very easy, OP. Just drop them if you hate them so much.

by Anonymousreply 2111/14/2012

I went on a cruise once in the Caribbean. Hated the cruise, hated the people hustling the tourists in the ports.

by Anonymousreply 2211/14/2012

All the cruise queens I know have never been anywhere near a ship.

by Anonymousreply 2311/14/2012

Dump the friends. Don't waste another second on them.

Ignore their phone calls.

Delete their emails and direct any forthcoming emails to your spam folder.

Spread rumors that you moved out of town.

Delete any photos you have of you and them together.

If someone mentions their name to you, pretend you have never heard it before and say "No, I don't know them - really."

FIle a restraining order on the couple if they try to contact you more than once after telling them "it's over."

Get a guard dog to guard the front of your house so if they drive by to "drop by" they won't dare go on your property.


by Anonymousreply 2411/14/2012

I've found developing a heroin addiction is a great way to get people to leave you alone.

by Anonymousreply 2511/14/2012

A more compelling question is why are they friends with a shallow twit like you?

by Anonymousreply 2611/14/2012

OP, here's what you do. Invite the old farts over to dinner. Serve overcooked fish, starchy potatoes and overcooked vegetables. Midway through the meal, slam down your cutlery, scream "THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF S**T THEY SERVE ON CRUISES", fart loudly and tell them you've had it with their gassy food and bad attitudes. That'll teach them.

by Anonymousreply 2711/14/2012


You sound like a provincial, attempting-to-sound-cosmopolitan, faux sophisticate, self loathing, shallow loser cunt.

by Anonymousreply 2811/14/2012

If their dinner parties are for eldergays, does that mean you are an eldergay too OP?

by Anonymousreply 2911/14/2012

This is exactly why some gays were horrified at the idea that gays would marry and settle down. Those people lost the war. In the future, gays will marry, lose all their coolness, let themselves go and become fat and domesticated. They will serve bad food, have boring parties, wear dowdy clothes and listen to old bad music.

OP's situation is the future - the long-time married gay couple next door being a gay version of "The Ropers."

by Anonymousreply 3011/14/2012

But at least Mrs. Roper wore FABULOUS caftans.

by Anonymousreply 3111/14/2012

And fabulous earrings!

by Anonymousreply 3211/14/2012

You poor American homos and your middle aged complacent couples.

by Anonymousreply 3311/14/2012


by Anonymousreply 3411/14/2012

You sound as bad as them. OP.

by Anonymousreply 3511/14/2012

OP, find a new hobby. Why would you even let this become a problem for you to ponder, let alone ask advice about. Tell them you have other vacation plans, and probably won't be taking another cruise to Mexico. End of story.

by Anonymousreply 3611/14/2012

gurl, are you sure it was the tired homemade "gourmet" food that they served which gave you flatulence cause you sound pretty full of it your goddamn self. you know what, just go on and tell them you no longer want to be 'friends' and save them the fucking trouble. because they are an elderly gay couple you know and life is too short.

by Anonymousreply 3711/14/2012

So you've eaten the food they're always making for "other elder gays"? So this is just old people bitching about each other?

The part about the hot boyfriend made me laugh.

by Anonymousreply 3811/14/2012

As a group, are eldergays known to be particularly flatulent?

by Anonymousreply 3911/14/2012

Fuck them, literally. Over and over again. Separately and together.

Make yourself essential to their lives.

Get them to change their wills, leaving you all their assets.

Then, late at night on the cruise, drop GHB into their amaretto sours and push them overboard.

by Anonymousreply 4011/14/2012

R6 is correct

by Anonymousreply 4111/14/2012

OP? Are you writing a book? I'm tired of you asking DL to write your damned book for you.

by Anonymousreply 4211/14/2012

R2 has terrible judgment when it comes to asshole OPs.

by Anonymousreply 4311/14/2012

Do they cruise on the Holy Ship?

by Anonymousreply 4411/14/2012
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