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Have you found 'being a DLer' makes you not very good on other forums and internet groups?

I don't really post much on other forums. I'm a member of a British Film forum and a Facebook '60s Music group and especially on the music group, when someone posts a lousy song I want to say what I think, but no one does. They just thumbs up...there's no thumbs down. No one ever says 'what a shit have shitty taste'. It's a bore.

I'm not an especially snarky poster but I'm used to being able to say what I think about other people's posts etc...and people standing up for themselves in return.

I'm just used to the DL way of doing things and it's just not appreciated elsewhere.

I also like knowing that most of the other folks are gay. DL has made me realise that I have more of a gay sensibility than I had thought.

I've also noticed that forums where everyone has a name and identity, get very kleeky...they just ignore newcomers, even if you post something they obviously find interesting or answer a question about something someone's looking for.

by Anonymousreply 8311/13/2012

YES! I post on Flyertalk forums quite a bit and I have to especially remember...DO NOT USE THE WORD "CUNT".

Also, do not greet everyone in the British Airways forum "Hey Bitches!"

by Anonymousreply 111/04/2012

haha well I post on 2 other sites that have A LOT of gays (tennisforum and Those sites require you to have a username and yeah they can get clicky but I don't care. If other posters don't like my thoughts, it doesn't bother me. While I don't use profanity in my posts on those sites, I will always state my opinion, even if it is not popular or it is ignored. So if you want other gay-populated sites go to tennisforum,com and lol

by Anonymousreply 211/04/2012

As a matter of fact, yes, OP.

But it comes in handy when dealing with assholes, racists, 'phobes, other haters.

Cutting your teeth sparring with DL bitches (let alone freeper trolls) will prepare you for anything the outside world has to offer.

by Anonymousreply 311/04/2012

Oh God Yes. Mostly the language.

by Anonymousreply 411/04/2012

Scarcastic bitchery can be funny, see Karen Walker on Will and Grace for a good example. When old gay men do it, nobody thinks it's funny. See Beverly Leslie from the same show.

The Boys In The Band is a dated show now, it's a different world out there. Catty, two snaps men are frowned up by EVERYBODY now, not just the phobes.

by Anonymousreply 511/04/2012

Most forms ban everything gay, so when you mention casual stuff you are blocked by admin every time. I just don't bother.

by Anonymousreply 611/04/2012

It's simple, really. Avoid any site where the cunt entitlement prevents you from calling a cunt a cunt.

And smell all the cunts that, despite the use of the word "cunt," still flap their rotten labia like the ears of a dead elephant in the breeze issuing from the wings of vultures. It's not like the cunt mentality actually is vulnerable. How can a void be harmed by anything we say?

by Anonymousreply 711/04/2012

OP and R2 (you may be the same poster) for fuck sake: the word is clique not kleek or click. To make a clumsy adjective - simply add Y.

You're welcome.

by Anonymousreply 811/04/2012

I agree OP, I have found I am very impatient also.

But my main problem is the overwhelming stupidity online. Or may be it is just willful ignorance. Things like common knowledge, common sense and critical thinking just do not exist on most online forums. Atrocious grammar and spelling go without say.

There also seems to be a lack of people that have expert knowledge or experience. Technol issues , geography, history and even science questions rarely receive an intelligent answer.

Now I do not really contribute anything, just read and move on.

by Anonymousreply 911/04/2012

And rarely do you come across anyone as severely damaged as R7, so when you do, you'll be ready.

by Anonymousreply 1011/04/2012

Before I was on Datalounge, I was on another gay chat board, ATKOL in the late 90s. The posters there were mostly very civil to each other then, and even supportive; in part this was because everyone was named and you were held accountable for bad behavior.

I was on both boards for a while, but the tenor on that board changed in the '00s, and new posters came on board who were really openly aggressive and hostile. I wouldn't tolerate things there I would easily tolerate here, so I left it. It's mostly dead there now.

by Anonymousreply 1111/04/2012

[quote]OP and [R2] (you may be the same poster) for fuck sake: the word is clique not kleek or click. To make a clumsy adjective - simply add Y.

No, we're different.

[quote]You're welcome

Bless your sweet and generous heart.

[quote] Yes, being a DL'er has had some influence on my behaviou [sic]


by Anonymousreply 1211/04/2012


Oh, [italic]dear.[/italic]

by Anonymousreply 1311/04/2012

In a strange way, you're held to account far more on DL than on most boards. I like that.

by Anonymousreply 1411/04/2012

Most of the posters on DL are very intelligent and worldly (I'm not including myself, because I think I'm pretty dumb). I feel like I'm "learning something" when I'm on this board, whereas others are just trollor's paradise and ad hominem attacks. IMDB boards used to be fun but know they're just all fraus.

by Anonymousreply 1511/04/2012


Most of the rest of the world does not appreciate snark, and views it as "dizrespekful."

by Anonymousreply 1611/04/2012

I'm going to downvote you, r16. MOM WHERE'D YOU PUT MY HOMEWORK??!?

by Anonymousreply 1711/04/2012

The nullo thread has been deleted. Apparently being a DLer means you can't discuss forced castration.

by Anonymousreply 1811/04/2012

Absolutely! Glad you brought this up, OP. I've been thinking about this lately. I think my DL addiction has even changed the way I relate to people in real life. I find myself eye rolling at "fraus" almost constantly. With friends I have to remind myself not to refer to someone as a cunt or point to a guy and say, "mama likey" or "that guy has classic BDF?"

by Anonymousreply 1911/04/2012

I'm more of an asshole on FB than anyone should be.

by Anonymousreply 2011/04/2012

[quote]With friends I have to remind myself not to refer to someone as a cunt or point to a guy and say, "mama likey" or "that guy has classic BDF?"

I've taught my partner how to spot BDF.

by Anonymousreply 2111/04/2012

I stopped trying to post on local newspaper sites because it felt like the other posters were bots. Comments were only vaguely related to the article at hand, but the 'Obamer is ruining the Cuntry' bullshit was constant.

My "Clean your room for Christ's sake" and "Stop shaving your pubes!" comments are never appreciated on Reddit. Also, their casual view of women as stupid tools seems to be the norm.

Apartment Therapy forum posters are either too kind or too mean (cunty vs. bitchy).

Gawker (within/outside the fold) sites don't have arguments like we do. The always-appropriate phrase "For the love of God, Somebody please shit in my mouth!" would never appear on any of those sites.

by Anonymousreply 2211/04/2012

[quote]My "Clean your room for Christ's sake" and "Stop shaving your pubes!" comments are never appreciated on Reddit. Also, their casual view of women as stupid tools seems to be the norm.

I like reddit sometimes, but I'm fairly certain that the main demographic there is pimple faced straight male nerds who are seething with bitterness that they've never gotten a blowjob, hence the casual misogyny.

I swear, I have more patience for the sexism here. At least DL's misogynists KNOW they hate women and have no problem admitting it. The virgin losers on reddit seem to largely lack awareness of the extent of their own sexism. Besides, the woman hating posts here are easier to spot and ignore. I just scroll past all posts that are peppered heavily with the words "frau" and "fish." (Alright, I can even admit that "frau" is appropriate SOMETIMES.)

by Anonymousreply 2311/04/2012

I know I could never last more than a few hours at TWOP being anything other than a lurker.

by Anonymousreply 2411/04/2012

Most forums that interest me require you to have a user profile, and the people that post there are trolls that just talk among themselves and ignore everyone else. I like DL because its a topic driven forum with little to no emphasis on the individuals posting, unless it has to do with said topic.

by Anonymousreply 2511/04/2012

[quote]OP and [R2] (you may be the same poster) for fuck sake: the word is clique not kleek or click.

Actually,shouldn't it be 'for fuck's sake' as in the for the sake of a fuck?

No that it matters, but you threw the first stone.

by Anonymousreply 2611/04/2012

[quote] I like DL because its a topic driven forum with little to no emphasis on the individuals posting, unless it has to do with said topic.

Yes, I think this is a huge factor in why DL works so well.

In fact I pay very little attention to the people who do have user names on DL...except for Charlie...he's the only person I'm familiar with (& of course Daveedah R')...other people seem to be far more aware of people with identities.

by Anonymousreply 2711/04/2012

For fuck sake or for fuck's sake both acceptable usage depending on what country you are in.

[quote]No that it matters, but you threw the first stone.

It matters not.

by Anonymousreply 2811/04/2012

"For fuck sake" is absolutely not acceptable.

by Anonymousreply 2911/04/2012

[quote]For fuck sake or for fuck's sake both acceptable usage depending on what country you are in.

Really? Which country uses for fuck sake?

by Anonymousreply 3011/04/2012

Oh for fuck sake, things are taking a Norwegian Catholic turn.

In the UK, OP. Stop trying to deflect from your kleeky bullshit.

by Anonymousreply 3111/04/2012

Stop trying to make kleeky happen, R31!

by Anonymousreply 3211/04/2012

LOL So very much yes, OP. And I consider myself much the better for it.

by Anonymousreply 3311/04/2012

Yes it has. Combined with posting on, I learned that I didn't have to be liked on a forum to state my opinions or facts. You guys and those girls on LSA taught me how to be a shit-talking asshole online when people say stupid things and I am forever grateful for that!

I try to keep it calm in another forum I post to, but a lot of those people on that site are pretty worldly and educated and know how to mess with idiots and trolls pretty well, so I fit right in.

I was kicked off of's forums because they don't tolerate that type of behavior on that site. However, they seem to love their freepers, stormfront posters, and outright nitwits who have opinions and know not what they speak of. I rejected one friend request because a poster there constantly wrote the word "presents" when he meant "presence" and "want" for the word "won't." And then had the nerve to proclaim how educated he was. I told him he was too stupid to live and he caught feelings. Oh well...

by Anonymousreply 3411/04/2012

Yes, OP.

As an earlier poster said, DL toughens your skin and sharpens your wit.

Other forums have rules that the mods will enforce but here, it's self-policing. Don't try to pull any shit or you'll get bitch-slapped into next week. Humorous trolls are tolerated and sometimes fed.

It's like living in a pit of rabid harpies sometimes but it sure is fun! (and informative)

by Anonymousreply 3511/04/2012

No one on's boards seems to want to discuss Deb Messing's humanitarian efforts.

by Anonymousreply 3611/04/2012

[quote]In the UK, OP. Stop trying to deflect from your kleeky bullshit.

The UK? Since when?

I admit kleeky was a clanger, especially for an opening post (people scan opening posts particularly carefully, don't they?) but I think you've slipped on your own banana skin.

by Anonymousreply 3711/04/2012

Haha. DL is the wild west of the internets. You can't be a wimp and hang out here for long.

The "kleeky" debate on this very thread is just one example of why DL is such a weird and wonderful place.

by Anonymousreply 3811/04/2012

"kleeky"?? I actually had no idea what you meant but realized: "clique-y"?

Oh, dear...

Been on other, illiterate, sites too long, dear?

by Anonymousreply 3911/04/2012

Thank you r39! Kleeky is just egregious.

by Anonymousreply 4011/04/2012

[quote]Been on other, illiterate, sites too long, dear?

I've just never written the word before, it seems.

Why didn't my spell checker pick it up?

I'll try it again... suggests I want to write 'Kleenex'

Quite frankly I think kleeky is how it should be written. Cliquey looks French.

by Anonymousreply 4111/04/2012

Seriously guys join tennisforum and lol it's fun. Many, many gays there. Even the girls and straight boys there get bitchy. It's enjoyable to have heated debates.

by Anonymousreply 4211/04/2012

Sadie says her kleeky stinks.

by Anonymousreply 4311/04/2012

[quote]At least DL's misogynists KNOW they hate women and have no problem admitting it.

That's true of some here (and I appreciate their honesty) but there's a sizable number who bat their eyelashes and do the "Who, me? A misogynist?" routine. Such cowardly, disingenuous game-playing is as bad as the misogyny itself.

by Anonymousreply 4411/04/2012

I used to live near this club in London...that's where I got it from.

[quote]Klooks Kleek was a jazz/R&B club in the 1960s, based in The Railway Hotel, West Hampstead, North West London, next to the Decca Records studio. The club was named after a 1956 album by Kenny Clarke (Klook Clique, Savoy Records)

They called it Klooks Kleek even though it was named after a record called Klook Clique.

by Anonymousreply 4511/04/2012

No place else matches the snark, the banter, and the wit. Plus, I love the fact that here on DL -- in addition to content and analysis -- grammar, punctuation, and spelling still matter.

by Anonymousreply 4611/04/2012

[quote]Cliquey looks French.

That's because it is, OP.

by Anonymousreply 4711/04/2012

"Kleeky" rockets past "Oh, dear" to "Oh, dear God"

by Anonymousreply 4811/04/2012

I'm only a regular at another forum and it is heavily moderated. Users run crying to moderators because someone disagreed with them. I have to hold myself back a lot given that you can speak more freely on DL.

by Anonymousreply 4911/04/2012

So being a DLer means you don't fit in well elsewhere. Surprise, surprise.

by Anonymousreply 5011/04/2012

I like to affectionately think of Datalounge as a pack of ravenous gay hyenas tearing at the corpse of popular culture.

by Anonymousreply 5111/04/2012

Thank you r51 how very Tennessee Williams-esque of you!

by Anonymousreply 5211/04/2012

kleely is the new WHET.

by Anonymousreply 5311/04/2012

Ooops, kleeky not kleely.

by Anonymousreply 5411/04/2012

Yes, kleeky is a very excellent word.

It's going to be HUGE and have a tremendous shelf life.

by Anonymousreply 5511/04/2012

How lumpy.

by Anonymousreply 5611/04/2012

Seven yeara running and I still love DL. Sharp, witty, and worldly, with occasional room for sincerity and friendship. I post a lot on and get frequent "likes" -- rhetorical skills are sharpened and verbosity discouraged on DL.

by Anonymousreply 5711/04/2012

Canada, r30.

It's common.

(Cue the two posters who'll say, "It's Canada, who gives a fuck what they say there for fuck's sake!")

by Anonymousreply 5811/04/2012

I tried being a DLer over on lchat and got a short ban.

by Anonymousreply 5911/04/2012

I find I'm WAY less tolerant of right-wing assholes on other forums than I used to be.

by Anonymousreply 6011/04/2012

Yes, I cut my young internet forum teeth on DL, and it hasn't gone over well with other communities. Most notably TWOP, from which I was banned. But I was/am proud of that.

by Anonymousreply 6111/04/2012

I've been on DL about 14 years now, and it has changed my behavior/attitude somewhat. I post a few local news forums and can get pretty cutting and sarcastic sometimes.

The weird thing is that I've never engaged in bitchiness on this site. Love reading the comments, but I usually only post to give gossip, answer a question, or help someone out with a problem.

In real life, I'm known to be opinionated, snarky, and funny. I just don't do that here.

Just a thought from the reference point of having been here for a number of years-- in the past year, DL seems to have become a more thoughtful place... as in people seem to be thinking more before posting. A little less kneejerk in tone, for lack of a better word.

by Anonymousreply 6211/05/2012

Multipurpose, too:

"That cunt has a kleeky bladder."

Combining "leaky from untreated yeast infection" and "clicky" because of all the metal studs and rings with which her trendoid nethers were pierced in 2007, and now they've grown in and she can't removed them."

I knew there was an explanation for that sound in restaurants when they start coughing and sneezing.

by Anonymousreply 6311/05/2012

Well, it certainly is more than "cunt" that offends the non-DL forums and groups. I follow a few Catholic and Christian sites in the my community, and civilly addressing irrational homophobia, sexism and racism come through. (Yeah, hard to tell from posts here, but there was a point to the others.) I have been banned for even the gentlest of questioning.

So it's more than the issues of language and shade-throwing associated with the DL. It's also the way one listens closely to the voice and words being shared, and assesses them. Many so-called intelligent, free-speaking sites just exist for propaganda, and any dissent is treated as if you did call them all cunts.

by Anonymousreply 6411/05/2012

My pussy stinks was not particularly welcomed on

by Anonymousreply 6511/05/2012

[quote] It's also the way one listens closely to the voice and words being shared, and assesses them.

Maybe that's also partly due to the fact that people don't have user names.

Also due to the fact people are always on the look out to knock a poster on the head with a good ol' fashioned snark...or worse.

by Anonymousreply 6611/05/2012

r62, I'm similar to you, except I've been here one year longer. In real life, especially with family, I have no problem saying what's on my mind. On DL I am probably overly polite, and even often apologetic when I disagree with someone. There have been so many times when I've come up with the perfect bitchy reply to take someone down, but I hold myself back. Could be that I'm "contrarian," but I think it may simply be that I feel DL has enough "snark" and I don't need to add to it. It renders the occasional politeness from a poster more meaningful.

by Anonymousreply 6711/05/2012

Yes, I find myself saying "MARY!", "frau" or using "earrings and caftan queen" in real life situations. Also add me to the list who find most sites infested with really dumb people. Uneducated, can't spell and sickening fawning over celebrities.

I really only post here and on my local newspaper's forums now.

by Anonymousreply 6811/05/2012

R67-- agreed. If 42 people make a snarky comment about Lindsay Lohan-- and the comments are often quite similar to each other-- I don't feel the need to be the 43rd person to say something.

Love DL, but sometimes the comments get really excessive and redundant. This works well when there's an epic thread like the salad bar one, but gets wearing when it's just variations on the fact that a celebrity is an obvious train wreck.

One thing I find remarkable about this site are the numbers of smart thoughtful people posting here who give really great advice, and who share insightful political commentary.

by Anonymousreply 6911/05/2012

DataLounge is by far the best forum on the internet, for a few key reasons. First, the censorship is minimal, though Ihave seen it surface. Once after I posed some right-leaning political views, suddenly I was getting "post rejected" for like ever. Then I had to watch people asking why no intelligent people were presenting right-wing argumetns. Well...

With that said, the anonymous nature of postings (if people want to be) eliminates many of the flamewars common to other groups, but the biggest difference is the lafck of advertising having corrupted the content. Most internet fora wind up as marketing portals for a few selected advertisers, who wind up censoring dissent and excluding competition. Often the money strings attached to the forum are not clear; this is absent from DL.

Most of all, the people here are intelligent, and focus on argumens more than who is making them. Ad-hominem attacks are called out as such and score no points, much like a formal debate. I have also said before that I don't think of this as a "gay website" but more as a website populated primarily by gays.

As a straight male not even particularly sympathetic to gay causes, I'm hardly the ideal poster (I'm also not an "eldergay" but just a good old-fashioned "creepy old guy"), and it took a little getting used to for me to take the overtly sexual remarks in context, but I'm in Rome so I figure it's up to me to adjust. While many topics deal with homosexuality, just as many or more deal with things that have little to do with sexual orientation.

I wish more fora on the internet were run like DL. The internet would be a much, much better place.

by Anonymousreply 7011/05/2012

[quote]In real life, I'm known to be opinionated, snarky, and funny. I just don't do that here.

Please don't deny us your snark and wit R62. I've only been here for about 5 years and theres been a marked decline in the number of "laugh out loud" posts. WW is so lame now it's embarrassing.

by Anonymousreply 7111/05/2012

For me it's difficult to connect to people in general. Datalounge is one of the few places that doesn't require you to register and keep an email address on file. Facebook and all the other social networks scare me with all the info I may or may not (want to) share getting attached to my profile.

Datalounge spoils you in that regard and makes me wary of data and info mining.

by Anonymousreply 7211/05/2012

Or on the guillotine:

Thomas de Mahy's last words upon reading his death sentence: "I see that you have made three spelling mistakes.".

People, I give you the the first grammar queen!

by Anonymousreply 7311/05/2012

Yes. I've caught myself about to casually refer to a group of people as "bitches" on multiple occasions.

by Anonymousreply 7411/05/2012

Telling my mother that someone in her family needed to die in a grease fire wasn't well received.

by Anonymousreply 7511/05/2012

LOL @ R75.

by Anonymousreply 7611/05/2012

He is our patron saint, r73!

by Anonymousreply 7711/05/2012

I found out today my worked blocked Datalounge. I absentmindedly typed it in my browser meaning to go to another site.

by Anonymousreply 7811/05/2012

I used to post on Atkol, and I know that once you have an unpopular post or thread associated with you, the 'Sisters' (my term for the PC Police) come down on you for everything afterwards, even for the most benign posts. Why? Because once you are in their cross-hairs they are always looking to make you look bad or ignorant. How many times can you stand to read the same person's posts when you know they will always be "you white gays will never understand what it means to be black and gay."? Race really is a common theme on that shitty board now, I much prefer the anonymity here on DL. Oh, and Atkol had a horrible virus too. Will never visit there again.

by Anonymousreply 7911/05/2012

Is ATKOL even active anymore? I thought the Naked Sword blog is the only porn themed message board now. Though ATKOL was in its heyday a great resource for information (all the what movie is this picture from? threads) and porn reviews.

by Anonymousreply 8011/05/2012


by Anonymousreply 8111/12/2012

I post on l chat

by Anonymousreply 8211/13/2012

I am one of your dreaded straight female guests. Other sites now bore me as the truth is never told slant--and here it is.

by Anonymousreply 8311/13/2012
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