Stop Gay Racism & Internalised Homophobia On Grindr Website!
NO ASIANS. NO BLACKS. STR8 ACTING CHILL DUDES ONLY. NO FAIRIES. NO FEMMES. NO QUEENS. MASC4MASC. DONâT BE OLD. CLEAN ONLY. NO HOOKUPS. BE NORMAL. SANE & SORTED. REAL MEN ONLY â¦ just harmless sexual preferences, right? WRONG.
This sort of language insults gay racial minorities, men of different ages, men who express their sexuality in ways different to heteromasculine ideals of normativity, men who are proud of being gay and what the gay community has achieved in less than 50 years, men who are living with HIV, men who enjoy sex with other men, men who donât conform to heteronormative demands for monogamy, and men who donât like being told by an oppressive over-class how they can and cannot live their lives.
This blog isnât here to tell you that your sexual preferences are wrong â it is here to criticise you for using language that reinforces mainstream views of how people should live and simultaneously denigrates the culture that non-heterosexual men have carved out since the liberation movement began in 1969. It is here to criticise modern gay men who have reaped all of the benefits the gay rights movement and its culture has fought for and provided, and is now spitting in its face out of an insecure fear of being perceived as âtoo gayâ.
It is here to criticise you for using language that puts down members of your own community, whilst you raise yourself up like youâre somehow from superior stock because you think youâre âhotterâ or âmore mascâ or âmore normalâ than they are. If you canât express your sexual preferences without insulting other non-heterosexuals, then there is something wrong with you that needs changing, right away! All of us have suffered in some way from the violence, humiliation, ridicule, and shame heterosexist society has perpetuated against non-heterosexual people.
Itâs time, today, for you to stop adding to it with racist and/or homophobic language. Stop projecting heteronormative conventions onto your own community, and start showing everyone just how proud you are to be yourself.
|by Anonymous||reply 212||09/29/2013|
Stop using Grindr.
People that use Grindr are trash.
This person is embarrassing.
You're looking for disease using that app, and here you are with your biggest issue: racism, and homophobia.
It's like a crack whore demanding that their dealers dress for success before dealing.
Grindr is not the bastion of class, and it's not meant to be, with what it's intended for.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||10/28/2012|
Grindr is a hookup site, OP. I'm not about to fuck a 300 lb geezer. There is no point in being politically correct about it. It is a waste of time for them to hit me up.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||10/28/2012|
OP is the Rosa Parks of Grindr
|by Anonymous||reply 4||10/28/2012|
Is it gay racism if an Asian's ad says "Asians or whites only" or a Black guy's profile says "No Asians or whites"? Or is it gay racist only if a white guy says "No Asians" or "No Blacks"? Just wanted to get that cleared up.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||10/28/2012|
What R3 said. It's a hook up site. I'd rather some guy say upfront what he does/doesn't want than waste my time, or me his. The only people who would find it racist or homophobic are those who either fit the description, or who lack self-awareness. Harsh, but true. I'm not saying it's right - I'm saying what it is, and we all know it.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||10/28/2012|
Is it possible to sexually reject 99.9% of the poplation in a poltically correct way?
|by Anonymous||reply 7||10/28/2012|
What R1-R7 all said.
Grindr is not the place for political correctness at all. People need to be direct with what they're looking for so they don't waste anyone's time.
I'm overweight & hairy, so guess what, I go on Growlr & Scruff instead of Grindr. I know what I am, and that I'm not for everyone, so I go to outlets that are more fitting. Problem solved. I don't get hung up on the people who aren't looking for my type.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||10/28/2012|
That blogger seems a tad high-strung. I love the post before it where he makes the all too common mistake of thinking, "X is the new black" is a statement about racial politics, not trends and fashion.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||10/28/2012|
stating a sexual preference is not racism, it is merely fact.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||10/28/2012|
Looks like the cunt apologist has metastasized.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||10/28/2012|
That blog reads like it's written by a girly fat guy.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||10/28/2012|
I like guys of most descriptions and can find something sexy about most guys. When I see someone with too many qualifications I move on even if I think can meet what they are looking for. I just like men, I am not looking for an illusion.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||10/28/2012|
I find 'NO ..., NO ..., NO ...' kind of hookup accounts very negative since the focus is on the negative side. '... Only' has also a rather regative or limited ring to it. To me 'I like/prefer ...' type of wording shows the right kind of attitude since you look for a nice time and not someone who is jaded and used to say 'god, NO!' all the time.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||10/28/2012|
Blogger is unhinged, the language he objects to saves time.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||10/28/2012|
All ads for jobs have some required criteria including those for blow jobs.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||10/28/2012|
That site's pretty interesting. It's only natural to have preferences, but the way some of us get boxed in is actually pretty pathetic. I used to be into guys around my age...masculine guys...white and Hispanic guys...etc...
But then I started finding out that there are all kinds of amazing people out there. I don't feel like I've lowered my standards in terms of what I'm into, but I definitely can't believe there was a time when I was so rigid in my demands. So glad I grew up and got a life.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||10/28/2012|
[quote]I find 'NO ..., NO ..., NO ...' kind of hookup accounts very negative
I skip ads where the poster defines himself by what he doesn't like. Those people are drama queens.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||10/28/2012|
Yeah....certainly there are racists who are gay and lesbian and that does contribute to a larger problem than just dating. On a larger scale, racism is what it is no matter the sexual orientation. I happen to not believe that racism is the ONLY underlying cause of people only dating within (or specifically outside) their own race. I do believe it has more to do more with the nurturing of cultural stereotypes, perceptions of beauty, and delusions of superiority. Such things as geography and class structure limit interaction with different cultures, and subsequently shape our perceptions. Where I think some folks may be confused is implying that attraction is somehow a natural phenomenon that you could not control. Our natural instinct as human beings is to satisfy sexual urge/procreate; attractions are secondary and are meaningless without the means to form them. To be clear, sexuality is not simply about attraction, it [homosexuality] is just a part of who we are. So, saying you're not attracted to women/certain hair colors/fill-in-the-blank, while all being a witty retorts, are moot points. When you have per-determined that you're not going to date an entire race of individuals there are underlying social factors at work. For someone to make this kind of determination means that, for the most part, you've already formed generalizations about an entire group of people...you know, since you're "generally speaking". If it's any "consolation": race preferencing (as I like to call it), and the oft fetishism that comes along with it, is neither unique to gay men nor any particular race.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||10/28/2012|
Where is the line drawn between "fem" and a "fairy"?
|by Anonymous||reply 21||10/28/2012|
Then there's the HIV risk aspect.
African American males have 7.6 times the AIDS rate as White males.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||10/28/2012|
Sorry, but sexual attraction is not PC or democratic.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||10/28/2012|
I fear for the day when cilantro lovers form an interest group and force other people to taste Cilantro, or else *shaking fist*.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||10/28/2012|
[quote]Sorry, but sexual attraction is not PC or democratic.
Is that why your morbid obesity renders your sex life non existent?
|by Anonymous||reply 26||10/28/2012|
That's what worries me R24. I love my gay son but he's allergic to peanuts. What if his hookup just ate a peanut butter sandwich!
|by Anonymous||reply 27||10/28/2012|
You can state your specific preferences in a positive way. for instance, I say seeking "STD-free mainstream masculine athletic fit bi dude who works out frequently and plays team sports." I think it gets the message across without being negative.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||10/28/2012|
r26's Dad helped start the Sexual Revolution so he could date blonde cheerleaders.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||10/28/2012|
If someone only wants to fuck versatile, biracial, dwarf amputees, one should be allowed to advert for only versatile, biracial, dwarf amputees.
It only narrows the number of people disappointed.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||10/28/2012|
If there were a road where you were 7.6 times as likely to get into an accident, and you didn't need to go down that road, would you use it?
|by Anonymous||reply 31||10/28/2012|
The apps are for trash. Hence the bigotry. You can't expect social consciousness from garbage.
|by Anonymous||reply 32||10/28/2012|
Wow because you're implying that all black gay people have HIV/AIDS and avoiding them is perfectly fine. Using your same source, in 2009, 39% of all new HIV infections were found in white men who have sex with men, and 37% of all new infections were in black men who have sex with men. And using YOUR logic, straight people have every right to discriminate gays because we all have HIV/AIDS.
|by Anonymous||reply 33||10/28/2012|
[quote]The apps are for trash. Hence the bigotry. You can't expect social consciousness from garbage.
r32, you forget that a decade ago we were a filth and garbage. So interesting that you need to denigrate another gay or lesbian to make your ill conceived point.
We all deserve to find those people that make us happy, sexually or otherwise.
Grinder is only the messenger.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||10/28/2012|
Thank you,r33. R22's only reason for posting that is to stir shit up.
And as a person of color,I can't tell you how many married,closeted white men who are willing to have unprotected sex,endangering not only themselves,but their wives as well...
Does r22 really think all those white men on Grindr who are only looking to hook up are d/d free? Please.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||10/28/2012|
Just for the record, I don't use Grindr or any other app to hook up. I am also partnered so have been off the market for several years.
However when I was single....
[quote]Wow because you're implying that all black gay people have HIV/AIDS and avoiding them is perfectly fine.
Who is implying that all black people have HIV/AIDS? Statistically, they are more likely to have HIV/AIDS. That in no way implies they all have it. Avoiding HAVING SEX with them is my choice and is perfectly fine to reduce MY risk of infection. Avoiding them as people is not.
[quote]Using your same source, in 2009, 39% of all new HIV infections were found in white men who have sex with men, and 37% of all new infections were in black men who have sex with men.
Thus, comprising 13% of the population, they are getting infected at almost three times more than their percentage of the population.
[quote]And using YOUR logic, straight people have every right to discriminate gays because we all have HIV/AIDS.
Bullshit. I'm saying I have a choice as to whom I have sex with.
I also do a lot of volunteer work for HIV/AIDS in our community, donating both time and money. You can call it discrimination if you choose. I chose to discriminate when I was looking for sex.
|by Anonymous||reply 36||10/28/2012|
Well aren't you a benevolent bigot, R36.
|by Anonymous||reply 37||10/28/2012|
You're an idiot AND a racist.
You protect yourself ZERO % from HIV by what you are doing.
What a fucking moron thinking he'll magically be protected because it's not that filthy black diseased meat he's riding but instead the pure white and curative caucasian meat.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||10/28/2012|
I like the fat guys who say they have a football player build or give you all of the measurements except weight or tell you they work out every day but are 50 lbs overweight.
|by Anonymous||reply 40||10/28/2012|
OP, pointing out discrimination by discriminating. I know it's hard for you to comprehend, but racism isn't a gay thing.
|by Anonymous||reply 41||10/28/2012|
[quote]Well aren't you a benevolent bigot, [R36].
Yes, in this part of my life, I am a bigot. Now, if you try and expand that my entire life and who I am, they you'd be an idiot like r38 who calls me a racist because I add race to age, looks, weight and all manner of things I consider when having random sex with someone.
Who said anything about being magically protected. Certainly there are a lot of white men who also have HIV/AIDS. Black men are higher risk is all I'm saying. That is the fact. You can choose to ignore that you choose. That's your life.
Now, dating would be a whole different story. But this thread was about using Grindr.
|by Anonymous||reply 42||10/28/2012|
"African American males have 7.6 times the AIDS rate as White males."
so, uh, use condoms and you won't have a problem.
condoms even prevent hiv transmission from poz guys! and most of the time poz guys that know their status have very low viral load (much lower than guys that don't know they have it yet and think they're still neg). aids doesn't just hope onto you from touching someone. you get it from sharing needles, unprotected anal, and blood transfer.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||10/28/2012|
Oh and the flaming girly queens who insist that naturally masculine gay men are merely faking it are not homophobes? Oh so if a man is attracted to other men, it must mean he is really girly right?
|by Anonymous||reply 46||10/28/2012|
It's who people choose to hook up with for quick, anonymous sex.
They're not saying they'd never be friends with a black person, never hire a black person for a job, never vote for a black person for president, etc etc.
NO advantage would suddenly accrue to black people as a whole if you're magically able to somehow convince uninterested GRINDR users to hook up with blacks.
Let. it. be.
|by Anonymous||reply 47||10/28/2012|
R47, it's not about having preferences. It's about gay people feeling the need to trash others in their quest for cocks. If you're white and interested in white guys near your age, or black and interested in black guys near your age, all you have to do is list your stats and add, "seeks similar." There's no need to call out "oldies," "fats," "fems," "blacks," or "Asians" as if they're all scum of the earth.
|by Anonymous||reply 49||10/28/2012|
R49 except both the obese and the senior see themselves as 'similar'. You really do need to say no fatties, no seniors to get the message across.
|by Anonymous||reply 50||10/28/2012|
R49, you think it's a gay thing? Really?
|by Anonymous||reply 51||10/28/2012|
Don't worry,r49-these same queens are somehow magically 'cured'of their dating bigotry by the time they reach age 50-by then are burned out,played out,whored out and the under 20 white twinks they covet(and once were themselves) are no longer interested in them.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||10/28/2012|
exactly r50. This is from PC FLaMERS
|by Anonymous||reply 53||10/28/2012|
but isn't it better to know ahead of time instead of having the door slammed in your face upon arrival?
|by Anonymous||reply 54||10/28/2012|
People have sexual preferences, and that's their business. Is it bigoted to say that you prefer redheads over blondes, and that that's what you're looking for? Give it a rest. Grindr isn't made to make friends. It's made for fucking. You shouldn't fuck a black guy if they don't turn you on. Enough with the "we are the world" bullshit.
|by Anonymous||reply 55||10/28/2012|
This is more of a problem with Asians than blacks.
|by Anonymous||reply 56||10/28/2012|
Quick question, if a black guy doesn't want to hook up with a white guy, is he racist, and would you be just as angry with him as a white guy who didn't wish to sleep with a black dude?
|by Anonymous||reply 58||10/28/2012|
Gay guys are so sexist for discriminating against women as sex partners.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||10/28/2012|
Seems to me that dictating who someone does or does not find attractive comes from he same defective part of the brain that gives us homophobia.
|by Anonymous||reply 60||10/28/2012|
Why broadcast your prejudices to the world? If someone who you are not attracted to hits you up, just ignore them or politely decline. There is no reason to go out of your way to make people feel bad and show your ignorance at the same time.
|by Anonymous||reply 62||10/28/2012|
R62 because if you don't broadcast those preferences the elderly fat trolls will be on you all day long.
|by Anonymous||reply 63||10/28/2012|
We all like what we like. Most of us have probably been in a situation where we're being chatted up by someone who, for one reason or other, holds no allure whatsoever. Our natural inclination, if we're sane, is to get out of the situation.
Online, we get a chance to filter these situations. If there's someone who s never in the world get into your pants, why would anyone but a sadist want to waste their time? If you don't find yourself attracted to a particular group of people, should you be forcing them into a game where, ultimately, they're not going to get anywhere?
I think an obvious offshoot of OPs premise would be that someone who is exclusively a top or bottom should advertise themselves as versatile.
|by Anonymous||reply 64||10/28/2012|
Is there anything more limiting than a racist slut? Sluts usually don't have the luxury to be picky when the neither region itches and they need some other guy to scratch that itch.
|by Anonymous||reply 65||10/28/2012|
oopsie daisy: the NETHER region of course.
|by Anonymous||reply 66||10/28/2012|
ok. If you say so op. I'm sure everyone will listen to you.
|by Anonymous||reply 67||10/28/2012|
This reminds me of an Asian guy at a gay friend's birthday party lamenting that white gays were racist because they were not interested in dating men like him. When someone asked him why he didn't seek out other Asians or Black or Middle Eastern men to date, he replied that he was attracted to white men only. Of course he never explained why it was ok for him to have a racial preference when dating but not for white men.
|by Anonymous||reply 68||10/29/2012|
One's sexual preference is another one's 'why do you not want to hook up with me, you damn racist/douchebag???'
|by Anonymous||reply 69||10/29/2012|
A friend sent this to me on Saturday: "A friend sent this to me "Kurt the owner of StoneWall referred to the President of The United States as a Nigg@# I am horrified! Regardless of your political beliefs that is 100% unacceptable and Poppi at Duplex defended him. Really? WTF spend your money supporting equality not self serving assholes. Just my opinion."
|by Anonymous||reply 70||10/29/2012|
The majority of white gay men are inherently racist, misogynistic, transphobic, fattist, snobbish.....well, just bigotted really. They detest absolutely everyone other than white straight men of course. Nasty creatures for whom suicide is to good an end. Lets be honest, most of you deserve the bashing.
|by Anonymous||reply 72||10/29/2012|
Go fuck yourself, r72.
I'm sure you're one of those who imagine that if it weren't for evil white gay men, black and white America would be joining hands and singing Kum-ba-ya.
There is a senator from Kentucky who argued that the Civil Rights Act was a mistake... and won. And yet the 1-3% of the country's population that is white gay men is your major concern? Your priorities are astounding.
I actually think white gay men are LESS racist than the country at large, but let's presume for the sake of argument your supposition is true. What the fuck do you care? You obviously hate white gays anyway and want nothing to do with such racist trash so why rail on about it?!!
Tell me: what stake do you have, assuming you're not a freeper troll stirring up shit, which is assuming a lot. God, you're a hateful piece of trash.
|by Anonymous||reply 73||10/29/2012|
r72 is an angry black man!
|by Anonymous||reply 74||10/29/2012|
I'm guessing r72 is actually a lilly-white right-wing troll.
It's long ago been revealed that one of the right's strategies has been to try to further drive a wedge between the black and gay communities, and they've even devoted money and resources to it.
I suspect a white troll, possibly even on someone's payroll til proven otherwise.
|by Anonymous||reply 75||10/29/2012|
The dick wants what it wants. I don't see a problem with this.
|by Anonymous||reply 76||10/29/2012|
R73: Said Senator was probably GAY, definately MALE and without a doubt WHITE. So once again, most WHITE GAY MEN are hateful bigots.
Some White Straight men, some Black Gay Men and some white/black, gay/straight women may be bigotted but in nowhere near the numbers of white gay men. Nor with the same degree of viciousness.
Its probably because their insides are so ugly that they keep comitting suicide in numbers so much higher than any other demography. They cant even stand themselves.
|by Anonymous||reply 77||10/29/2012|
I love how the "You're attracted to who you are attracted to" people don't realize that not being attracted to someone because of their skin color is prejudice at the very least.
As a black person, I personally don't give a shit if you're only attracted to your own race. Couldn't care less. However, when being called on it, don't get all defensive and claim that it's your "preference." That's bullshit. I prefer Latin men but wouldn’t reject someone who's not Latin.
|by Anonymous||reply 78||10/29/2012|
I'm with you all politically. Sorry, but I don't do Asian.
|by Anonymous||reply 79||10/29/2012|
R75: I love how the "troll-hunters" come out when the racist, misogynist, transphobes of DL are called out. Where the fuck are you when white gay guys are laughing about raped lesbians, throwing around the N word, refusing to refer to trans people as their preferred gender? I drown in your hypocritical bs.
Its not your fault you are that way though. Something about the combi of being white, gay and male makes you a bigot. Then again thats AIDS exists - to clean up Natures Errors.
|by Anonymous||reply 80||10/29/2012|
Absolutely not. R80 is a hateful lesbian.
|by Anonymous||reply 82||10/29/2012|
BS!!! no dyke would say shit like that
|by Anonymous||reply 83||10/29/2012|
Dont break your brains trying to figure out what race/gender/orientation I am. Just call me Batman and accept some truth.
If you are white and gay then you are inately evil and but never you mind, now that you are aware of it (and how you are perceived) you can start to work on it...
|by Anonymous||reply 84||10/29/2012|
[r71] yes Kurt Kelly [r83] do you know the dykes at The Duplex?
|by Anonymous||reply 85||10/29/2012|
[quote]racist, misogynist, transphobes of DL are called out
The poster is not calling out racist, misogynist POSTERS, he is saying that all white gay men are racists which is quite different and totally shit-stirring.
This piece of white trash is obviously a white right-wing troll.
I wonder if how much he's getting paid. I personally can't imagine a lower way to make a buck.
|by Anonymous||reply 86||10/29/2012|
If you think he's a dick, then DON'T FUCK HIM.
|by Anonymous||reply 88||10/29/2012|
I know, R25. And that may be a conservative estimate.
|by Anonymous||reply 90||10/29/2012|
^^^ Same right wing troll, different IP address.
Hey, white trash troll, does NOM pay you by the post? The hour? How much? I've often wondered.
|by Anonymous||reply 92||10/29/2012|
It's an angry nigger not a white dude!
|by Anonymous||reply 93||10/29/2012|
^^^Nope, right wing piece of lilly-white trash, we know it's you.
What motivates you? Hatred of gays? Are you angry because you know the Mormon billionaire is gonna lose the election? Does it go deeper than that? Are you a deeply closeted gay? Are you pissed because you secretly know God is imaginary? Or is it really all about the money for you?
Just tell us how much NOM pays you. Promise we won't tell anyone. We're DYING to know!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 94||10/29/2012|
Aaaaand this thread gets deleted for race flame war psts in three, two, ...
|by Anonymous||reply 95||10/29/2012|
I bet we all know what kind of man rejected R92 recently...
Agree with R93, fuck off, R92.
|by Anonymous||reply 96||10/29/2012|
Web master should delete the tread but will certainly investigate IP addresses of the racist shit-stirrer because he's obviously on the right-wing payroll.
NOM or whoever is paying this asshat won't like it when they find out he was sniffed out so quickly.
|by Anonymous||reply 97||10/29/2012|
Are you angry because you know the Mormon billionaire is gonna lose the election?
put down the crack pipe boy!
|by Anonymous||reply 98||10/29/2012|
[quote]put down the crack pipe boy!
Just as soon as you tell us how much NOM is paying you.
|by Anonymous||reply 99||10/29/2012|
The blogger is an insecure East Asian man. It's common for East Asians to be very aggressive on the internet and post pictures and addresses of people they don't like so they can be targeted for abuse. It's sick. Until East Asians feel secure about themselves and their natural appearance we will continue to hear the "your racist" comments because they are looking for approval by white people or want to supersede white people in beauty and when they can't do that their insecurity boils over.
|by Anonymous||reply 100||10/29/2012|
[r93] Do you work at The Stonewall Inn?
|by Anonymous||reply 101||10/29/2012|
Most of the comments on this thread are pretty damn frightening. There's seems to be little comprehension of sexual preference vs sexual requirement, about what racism actually is, and about it's effects on gay racial minorities. No doubt my comment will get flamed/trolled/whatever but it would be good instead for everyone here to chill out, open their minds, and maybe have a look at what the blogger is trying to achieve, rather than roasting him for outing some of the most disgusting aspects of modern gay life. I went through the blog and looked for myself and found it really interesting. I also note someone above said he was an angry South East Asian, but after reading a lot of his posts you can see he is white and lives in Australia. Anyhoo, I guess its time for some more anger hate and screaming from you guys, right?
|by Anonymous||reply 102||11/24/2012|
The author is a flaming jew hating, masculine hating queen!! effeminates HATE masculinity just like bull dykes hate femininty!!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 103||11/24/2012|
I doubt the author is any of those things. He's probably just too intelligent for you.
I think it's so sad that gays have become such vile creatures online. But at least their quest to be 'normal' has been successful - they are now as ignorant and hateful as the straights.
|by Anonymous||reply 104||11/25/2012|
Why does the OP think "CLEAN ONLY" is so awful?!
Does he find drug addicts who haven't bathed in a week or so hot?
|by Anonymous||reply 106||11/25/2012|
People on Grindr are trash, anyway. Why are you surprised they're racist?
|by Anonymous||reply 107||11/25/2012|
Does the guy who writes the blog also call out Asian men who insist on "WM only" in their personal ads? Or are they allowed to have "preferences" while other ethnic groups aren't?
|by Anonymous||reply 108||11/25/2012|
I'm surprised no one has brought up Grindr's sexism. I don't think I've seen one man on there looking for a woman.
|by Anonymous||reply 110||11/25/2012|
I'm attracted to all races of men. A man can be handsome no matter what his ethnic makeup is. I don't get people who use their "preference" as a guise for hate or self-hate.
|by Anonymous||reply 112||11/26/2012|
I'm a gay minority who came of age in the AOL era. When I was just questioning and discovering my sexual orientation, I can tell you that a little piece of me died every time I read someone's profile who had a list of No this, No that. It made me really defensive and develop insecurities. It just made me feel "less than". I wasn't even looking to hook up. I just wanted to chat. But I always was aware that I was not equal and will never be let into this exclusive club. Today I'm a confident person proud of my race but seeing those types of profiles again brings back these feelings of insecurities.
|by Anonymous||reply 115||11/26/2012|
[post by racist shit-stain #3 removed.]
|by Anonymous||reply 116||03/12/2013|
You can't EVER change what people's personal likes and dislikes are. It's life. If you can't handle people being FRANK about who they want to FUCK, then get off of Grinder, dumbass. It's a nasty place anyway.
|by Anonymous||reply 117||05/20/2013|
r116 is the most correct post in the thread. Which probably why it's the most heavily censored.
|by Anonymous||reply 118||05/20/2013|
It's mean-spirited for anyone to write discriminatory exclusions. It's better to at least speak with someone first and then explain in a kinder way why they are unacceptable.
|by Anonymous||reply 121||09/27/2013|
You just need to deal with fact that for most of us,most of the time life is a series of great big NO's.
Life does not come with built in trigger warnings so inure yourself or you won't survive.
|by Anonymous||reply 122||09/27/2013|
Being called racist does not meaN SHit to me
|by Anonymous||reply 123||09/27/2013|
[all posts by flame bait troll (hates:men,women,muslims,gays,lesbians,jews and Obama, loves posting about stabbing women, bashing gays, killing jews etc.) #10 removed, ISP notified with full text of all posts.]
|by Anonymous||reply 124||09/27/2013|
Funny how OP 'forgot' the "no fats" thing, isn't it?
Ignore the troll at 124.
Grindr is the gay ghetto. You can't expect modern thinking from people engaging in antiquated behavior. Want people to start treating each other as human beings? Stop dehumanizing each other as objects with anonymous tricking. Problem solved.
|by Anonymous||reply 125||09/27/2013|
[quote]Sorry, but sexual attraction is not PC or democratic
I agree with this, but it's rude to dictate a checklist of racial prejudices in a profile. I'm not saying its racist to hold those prejudices, but it's insensitive to blatantly state them. It's obnoxious and unnecessary.
|by Anonymous||reply 126||09/27/2013|
No femme queens please. If I wanted to date a chick I'd date a chick.
|by Anonymous||reply 129||09/27/2013|
I like to send out a personalized essay about the unique and special attributes of every responder, even if they aren't a sexual match.
I follow it up about a week later with a thoughtful pick-me-up card, with a small dollar gift certificate enclosed. Sorry, but I can only afford gift baskets for the ones that spend the night!
|by Anonymous||reply 130||09/27/2013|
How is any of this racist? Sexual preferences are preferences. Stating one doesn't want to fuck a specific looking type of person doesn't make them any more racist than not wanting to fuck a woman makes them a misogynist.
Dick knows no race. It wants what it wants. Stop trying to make people feel guilty for not wanting to fuck who they don't want to fuck.
|by Anonymous||reply 131||09/27/2013|
I'm gonna set that to music...
Dick knows no race! It wants... what it wants... Cock gonna do, what it gonna do... Cock-a-doodle-do!
|by Anonymous||reply 132||09/27/2013|
Being someone who would be excluded based on the criteria OP expresses, I appreciate knowing the ad is something that would be a waste of time.
|by Anonymous||reply 133||09/27/2013|
Most femmes lesbians want a femme!
|by Anonymous||reply 134||09/27/2013|
Yes, darling, here... let me lead you on for two hours when you could've gone out whoring and been home already!
|by Anonymous||reply 135||09/27/2013|
R131 is making my point. It's easy to justify bigotry when you're dehumanizing your sexual partners by anonymous tricking. They're not people, just holes to fill. The politic of that is exploitative. You can't expect a progressive, thoughtful intellect from someone who sees other people merely as sex toys. Ask any Republican.
The other thing, of course, is that all the prejudices are back in fashion, and thinking about prejudice is not. So it's easy for a moron to not question why he finds all men of color undesirable, or can't have sex with a hot man because he's not 'straight-acting'. The gay male community is full of bigotry; we're constantly calling out other people on theirs, but sink quite comfortably into our own.
I think it is pretty amusing that guys who routinely stick their dicks into stranger's mouths, and more, try to argue that they are 'selective' rather than bigoted. It's pretty funny.
|by Anonymous||reply 136||09/27/2013|
Oh for creeps sake!
Stop having sex with white males if you are black. In fact, you should have refrained from that type of contact with white males ever. They are the ones who exposed the black gay male community to AIDS in the first place. They are filth.
Look, white males carry disease like rats, killing whole populations of people like American Indians and native populations in Hawaii with their sick shit. STDs were introduced worldwide by white males mostly gay who vacation fucked around the world until there was no disease free zone left. They then use their privileged to rid themselves of the very slim they have spread.
Talk about chemical warfare. Just introduce a community of white gay males to a population of non whites and watch the death spread like a plague.
You all know it is the truth.
Stop fucking them!
|by Anonymous||reply 137||09/27/2013|
I think we have a winner.
Not pretty; but accurate R137.
|by Anonymous||reply 138||09/27/2013|
[quote] So it's easy for a moron to not question why he finds all men of color undesirable, or can't have sex with a hot man because he's not 'straight-acting'.
You sound like a fool.
Do you still question why you're not attracted to vagina? If you're a well-adjusted gay man, you don't. You realize it's part of what you are, likely after years of pointless struggles and inner turmoil. Which in the end, is futile.
You're inane supposition is designed to make people feel guilty for not wanting to fuck others to whom they have no attraction, which is bullshit.
Most likely, you're a racial minority or fat. Or both. And no one wants to fuck you because of one or more physical characteristics, so you're on a tear and want to guilt people into fucking you and others you feel share your "oppression." Which is beyond pathetic.
Don't like the ads? Ignore them. But most likely the people you want to fuck - I.e., those you are attracted to - want nothing to do with you. And this is your juvenile form of payback.
|by Anonymous||reply 139||09/27/2013|
Black gay men.... just read the shit sprewing from the bowels of r139.
I say it again. Stop fucking white gay men. Have some pride. If not pride, then intelligence.
Once they are isolated sexually, and the new more devastating next STD develops from their mist (and it will), if they are left to fuck only each other, their diseased nature will be exposed. Only they will have it.
You are falling for the PR. They are not worth your life, and esteem.
Give yourselves a fighting chance and expose the very nastiness at the core of the white male gay culture.
|by Anonymous||reply 140||09/27/2013|
[quote] Look, white males carry disease like rats,
Any white guys here with rickets? Anyone?
|by Anonymous||reply 142||09/27/2013|
r140 is a black gay muslim
|by Anonymous||reply 143||09/27/2013|
[quote]Black gay men.... just read the shit sprewing from the bowels of [R139].I say it again. Stop fucking white gay men. Have some pride. If not pride, then intelligence. Once they are isolated sexually, and the new more devastating next STD develops from their mist (and it will), if they are left to fuck only each other, their diseased nature will be exposed. Only they will have it. You are falling for the PR. They are not worth your life, and esteem. Give yourselves a fighting chance and expose the very nastiness at the core of the white male gay culture.
One of the best posts on DL in a long time. I really need to start asking myself why it is I would want to fuck white gays. It does seem to be very destructive behavior.
|by Anonymous||reply 144||09/27/2013|
Rickets lol seriously? Seems kinda lame (no pun intended) when compared to spreading AIDS, syphilis, gonorrhea....
|by Anonymous||reply 145||09/27/2013|
[quote] You are falling for the PR.
I must have missed the PR campaign encouraging white guys to suck black cock.
|by Anonymous||reply 146||09/27/2013|
r145. Terrific. Now name a whites-only disease as the ones you listed blight all humans. And the remark was made in reference to the comment that white people essentially carry nothing but diseases.
|by Anonymous||reply 147||09/27/2013|
r148 And fat. Don't forget fat.
|by Anonymous||reply 149||09/27/2013|
I love how the answer to racism against blacks and and Latinos is racism against whites. You want to play the "disease" game...
|by Anonymous||reply 150||09/27/2013|
[quote] must have missed the PR campaign encouraging white guys to suck black cock.
Well then you are retarded, Irene. Gay white males have even changed the female aesthetic to implants sitting against bones topped with a face of make-up.... i.e. a transvestite. The PR is that whites are to be desired sexually above common sense, self worth, and health.
For me the white gay male skeeting dick is the universal lethal weapon. Hey, that's just me. To many black gay men that cumming thang is the most desirable tool of life. There's no accounting for....
Don't get wrong, I have nothing against white males, gay or straight. I just haven't fallen for the bullshit. Been to too many malls. I know who you really are, or from whence you came.
|by Anonymous||reply 151||09/27/2013|
Where, what culture did sexually transmitted disease originate? No one wants to ask that question. I find it odd the only issue is how to blame poor, minority populations for being the recipients of the originators.
|by Anonymous||reply 152||09/27/2013|
[quote] Been to too many malls. I know who you really are, or from whence you came.
Wow, you are the most accomplished social anthropologist I've ever encountered outside of a scavenger hunt.
Conversely, I know everything about black people by going through the Popeye's drive through.
And by the way, you're still black, fat and no one white and in shape wants to fuck you. Stop blaming everyone else for your calloused palms. Lose weight and you'll automatically double your chances.
|by Anonymous||reply 153||09/27/2013|
No to anyone called Tooty R20
|by Anonymous||reply 154||09/27/2013|
lol, why you mad, Mary? I'm just agreeing with you. Right? You say you don't want me, and I say thank you, feelings mutual.
I even advise my black brothers to stop fucking you, something again you say you want to cease r153.
Yet, you remain angry. I'm trying to get those annoying minorities off your pursued list.
|by Anonymous||reply 155||09/27/2013|
Uh, R152. No one is "blaming" poor minority populations. It is simple statistics. You claim that fucking gay white men will give you a disease when the statistical evidence paints a different picture.
For the record, both views are racist. You are most definitely racist. I am just playing your sick little game.
|by Anonymous||reply 156||09/27/2013|
Isn't it better to be rejected ahead of time than having to schlep over there just to be told they don't like your type?
|by Anonymous||reply 157||09/27/2013|
[quote] Stop having sex with white males if you are black. In fact, you should have refrained from that type of contact with white males ever. They are the ones who exposed the black gay male community to AIDS in the first place. They are filth. Look, white males carry disease like rats, killing whole populations of people like American Indians and native populations in Hawaii with their sick shit. STDs were introduced worldwide by white males mostly gay who vacation fucked around the world until there was no disease free zone left. They then use their privileged to rid themselves of the very slim they have spread.
That seems to be a pretty accurate answer r156. Even you must admit that sexual disease was spread around to more 'pure' isolated peoples by whites. Whites who spread the disorders were more able to get treatment. So maybe it is a good idea for minorities to only have sexual contact with their own culture. Where whites have been excluded, those nations remain more STD free, Another fact.
It's Friday. I am gone. But this has turned into a very interesting thread.
|by Anonymous||reply 158||09/27/2013|
underclass issues abound in this thread!!!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 159||09/27/2013|
I say thank you r157. Reject us all.
It maybe a harsh lesson black guys but one that will pay off later, I promise you.
|by Anonymous||reply 160||09/27/2013|
R139 and his ilk are all closet cases and we all know it. First of all.
More than anyone else, they hate 'faggots', particularly themselves. A lot of it is self-loathing, and some of it is just plain old fashioned bigotry.
People just aren't innately attracted to white, 'masculine' men. That's the argument being made and it's ludicrous. Lots of different individuals are sexy and attractive. To say you're not attracted to an entire race of people is just RACISM. Period.
|by Anonymous||reply 161||09/27/2013|
R141 has rocks in his head. And is probably ugly as sin.
|by Anonymous||reply 162||09/27/2013|
[quote] I'm trying to get those annoying minorities off your pursued list.
Make no mistake, Tyrone, those annoying minorities have never been on my pursued list. And from your unhinged and very hateful posts, I think that's the problem here:
You're not on anyone's pursued list.
I know plenty of chocolate chasers, but they're not into fatties. Know a lot of cubs and bear chasers, but none who are into black guys.
So, being an overweight black guy, you fall right into the crack of being sexually undesirable by the majority of gay men. But instead of putting down the bucket of chicken and trying to improve your odds, you blame the white devil. How trite. And sad.
At least the chicken grease makes good lube for fapping, so we're making lemonade here, Rerun!
|by Anonymous||reply 163||09/27/2013|
The reality is this; men who put these caveats in their ads, about not wanting people of a certain race, are usually incredibly ugly. And we all know it's true. Hot, sexy men attract hot, sexy men of all stripes. Ugly tends to be very discriminating because they get rejected all the time.
|by Anonymous||reply 164||09/27/2013|
water seeks its own level
|by Anonymous||reply 165||09/27/2013|
[quote]People just aren't innately attracted to white, 'masculine' men.
Really? Where did these millions come from, then?
|by Anonymous||reply 166||09/27/2013|
R163, meanwhile, looks like the birthday boy in "Boys in the Band". But with more acne scarring.
|by Anonymous||reply 167||09/27/2013|
End racism! Give Oprah the Oscar! It is what Trevon would have wanted!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 168||09/27/2013|
R166 is functionally retarded.
Ever hear of culture, hon? Or social indoctrination? Or the 'beauty standard'?
Where does HOMOPHOBIA come from, ASSHOLE? Millions and millions all over the world...the vast majority... hate and loathe gay people. Is that also innate.
Honestly, some of you are too stupid to be breathing.
|by Anonymous||reply 169||09/27/2013|
R168...and that has WHAT to do with this discussion? Still have you McCain bumper sticker on your car, do ya?
|by Anonymous||reply 170||09/27/2013|
And I am Telling you I'm not going!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 171||09/27/2013|
[quote] Hot, sexy men attract hot, sexy men of all stripes.
Indeed. And that being the case, that doesn't mean that attraction is reciprocated or that they owe anyone a mercy fuck just because they're a different race.
Not everyone wants to fuck black guys. Get over it. Stop being a pussy and blaming your empty bed on white guys who just aren't into you.
|by Anonymous||reply 172||09/27/2013|
r169 That's not the case, hon. Most of us just don't want to fuck fat black guys. Like you.
Sorry you're so lonely! Hope it gets better!
|by Anonymous||reply 173||09/27/2013|
I don't care what any of you say, I will never go home with someone I don't find desirable for the sake of being politically correct. There are ethnicities and personalities I find objectionable and I will never be attracted to and that isn't going to change. Hell if that's so fucking hard for the nelly bastards to understand, then why aren't you swishes going home with straight females?
All the gobbly gook is simply a rationalization of those with issues about being happy about being with others just like you.
|by Anonymous||reply 174||09/27/2013|
I never understood the whole 'at least talk to them' schtick. Like if they get to talk to someone they're going to convince them to fuck or something.
|by Anonymous||reply 175||09/27/2013|
I condole the fat black sissies.
|by Anonymous||reply 176||09/27/2013|
PC run amuck is what is killing the gay community
|by Anonymous||reply 177||09/28/2013|
I'm black and I can't believe that there are people still playing this tired game.
I like all types of guys and all types of guys like me. I have NO trouble in the dating or sex department. I don't understand what the minority gays who constantly complain about this are trying to accomplish. Shaming white guys into thinking you're attractive? Give me a break. If someone isn't into black dudes, that's their problem and I'm not making it mine.
Life's too short. What I will say is that white Americans are weird with the racial thing and if I'm going for a white dude I prefer he be international or European or "swarthy" of some sort. Me and a WASP will just never happen outside of a hookup.
|by Anonymous||reply 178||09/28/2013|
Since when is not finding a particular ethnic group or groups being homophobic?
I'm not obligated to lift my muu-muu to everyone who hits on me.
|by Anonymous||reply 181||09/28/2013|
Most people tend to date/marry within their own ethnic and/or racial group. And that is okay. People like what they like. I think it's when you try to tell other people to think the same way you do, or try to make laws against or socially ostracize people who date outside their said groups that is wrong. If you are white and prefer white, that's fine. But if I'm white and I don't, mind your fucking business. Those same people who do that are foaming at the mouth because gay marriage is still not sanctioned in most of the world.
|by Anonymous||reply 182||09/28/2013|
If you don't want to date me fine, because I'don't want to date you. You shouldn't feel obligated and if you date find that race attractive you just don't. I am however curious would people be offended if a minority specified "NO WHITES" in an ad
|by Anonymous||reply 183||09/28/2013|
R183, if you haven't seen that you just haven't been looking. I see people who are black or Larin specifically looking for blacks or Latins.
Why the pretense that race-specific or in-group preferences are a white-only thing? Is it because you yourself continue to endow whites with a power and force they don't actually have?
Likely because you're a somewhat race-confused white yourself.
|by Anonymous||reply 184||09/28/2013|
No, Black. I wasn't offended by the ad. Youwant what you want. Many seek approval from the majority. Many people and its not just Whites don't feel'comfortable with another culture and all that goes with it. The music, social'scene, etc. If you make race an issue then it will'be
|by Anonymous||reply 185||09/28/2013|
This is a pathetic thread. Hot men of any color will easily get laid, period. The only people complaining on this thread are people who can't get laid because they are somehow physically defective.
I'm a gay latino who prefers other latino guys. I have no problems with people stating their preferences; it saves time for both you and I.
|by Anonymous||reply 186||09/28/2013|
I think we've discussed to death the concept that "it's okay to have your own preferences / not be attracted to certain races / body types", etc., but I think the point of the text in the OP is that you can express your preferences without denigrating other groups?
Like, it's a qualitative difference between: "No fatties, no femmes, no Asians / Blacks" versus "I like fit, masculine guys, white or Latino" etc.
The former uses (childish) slang and shorthand to exclude and let others know they're not wanted; the latter expresses pretty much the same preference but affirmatively (and honestly, the first one makes you come off like a douchebag, nor is it any more effective in getting your message across - if someone wants to message you despite your stated preferences, they're going to anyway even if you're a jerk - all you're doing is turning off more decent guys who see "no fats, no femmes" and think "what a bitchy queen").
And I guess I don't necessarily disagree with the argument that even though we can't change media representation of men in color (or of different body types) by shaming individuals or force people to be attracted to something they're not, we can do our part not to tell minorities they're inferior and unwanted? Like, if I ask a straight person not to say "faggot" or "that's gay", it isn't going to end societal homophobia, but why contribute to it if they don't have to?
|by Anonymous||reply 187||09/28/2013|
[quote]why contribute to it if they don't have to?
Because a lot of fatties and fems are aggressive and won't take no for an answer. If you state ONLY your preferences in a polite and friendly way, you will get a lot more unwanted responses.
It's like when a door to door salesman sees a sign that says "no solicitation" vs. the same sign PLUS and pit bull guarding the gate. It's just extra insurance.
|by Anonymous||reply 188||09/29/2013|
New book on Gay Racism called
No Asians Please
|by Anonymous||reply 189||09/29/2013|
[quote]R186: it saves time for both you and I.
|by Anonymous||reply 190||09/29/2013|
Well, R188, heaven forbid we try to change our behaviors and show consideration and respect for others if it's an inconvenience to us.
|by Anonymous||reply 191||09/29/2013|
It's a fucking hook up site...get over it.
|by Anonymous||reply 192||09/29/2013|
[all posts by flame bait troll #11 removed (violent racist homophobic right-wing misogynist), ISP notified with full text of all posts.]
|by Anonymous||reply 193||09/29/2013|
[quote]It is here to criticise (sic) you for using language that puts down members of your own community, whilst you raise yourself up
Sorry, but simply saying, "I am interested in meeting only a certain type of man" does not put down members of your own community. I don't feel put down when someone says, "I'm looking for someone older" or "I'm looking for someone younger" for that matter. I do think a person who refuses to meet up with people of a particular race is probably harboring some racist feelings, only because its so illogical to issue a blanket prohibition based only on race. But announcing you maybe a racist is not the same as putting down others.
|by Anonymous||reply 194||09/29/2013|
r189, are you the author of that pathetic Bathhouse Blues blog and that sure to be equally pathetic book?
If so, I read your site and it's truly sad how much you hate yourself and devote so much energy into figuring out why white guys just aren't into you. And the thing about the gay Asians that annoys me the most is that they whine about white dudes not being into them but will not give a black or Latino guy a second look. As a matter of fact, you scoff at us because you're so afraid that if you're seen around a person of color that people will remember that YOU are a person of color.
I think muscular gay Asians are superhot but that "whites only" contingent of Asians (which is like 98% of them) really fucking disgust me. If you guys figured out how to love yourselves then maybe the white dudes would follow suit.
|by Anonymous||reply 195||09/29/2013|
I'm so happy you love my book and my website R195
Will you take me out to lunch so we discuss it further?
|by Anonymous||reply 196||09/29/2013|
So everyone is a 'person of color' but white folk? Now, what about George Zimmerman? The media said he was white. Then other people said he was latino. Then still other people said that he was white AND latino, because latino/hispanic is not a race. I'm confused.
|by Anonymous||reply 197||09/29/2013|
Discuss what? Asians like yourself think that you are honorary white people and therefore should be with only whites. See it all the time. No sympathy from this camp.
|by Anonymous||reply 198||09/29/2013|
So does that mean you won't be buying me lunch R198?
|by Anonymous||reply 199||09/29/2013|
Asians do get something of a pass, in that they often surpass whites in academic settings. And, man, you want to see an immigrant family go from nothing to a McMansion in one generation, you watch some asians. Tiger mom will kick your ass!
|by Anonymous||reply 200||09/29/2013|
I still do not get why this useless thread is around for a year and the Gym/sauna sex thread got deleted.
|by Anonymous||reply 201||09/29/2013|
[quote] Tiger mom will kick your ass!
Problem with that is Asians are stunted in terms of their emotional growth.
In Asian circles Success = happiness. To the detriment of maturity and emotional growth.
But in the west it is Happiness = Success, and they are better balanced emotionally
|by Anonymous||reply 202||09/29/2013|
[quote] I still do not get why this useless thread is around for a year and the Gym/sauna sex thread got deleted.
Especially since Bathhouse Blues the website writes about both.
|by Anonymous||reply 203||09/29/2013|
But the problem with Happiness = Success is that that's how we end up with too many English majors and not enough Engineering and Science majors, and the U.S. becomes a nation of idiots and all the tech and research jobs go abroad.
|by Anonymous||reply 204||09/29/2013|
R204 you can be rich and successful, but if you are emotionally stunted, how far will that really get you?
Especially since life is all about who you know, not what you know.
|by Anonymous||reply 205||09/29/2013|
Easier to be rich and pay to fix your emotions than poor and try to feed, house, and otherwise care for your family.
It's called Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Google it.
|by Anonymous||reply 206||09/29/2013|
[quote] Easier to be rich and pay to fix your emotions than poor and try to feed, house, and otherwise care for your family.
Unfortunately some Asians are delusional in their thinking, so they don't think about fixing their emotions.
We have a whole generation of Asians emotionally screwed up because of Tiger Moms.
|by Anonymous||reply 207||09/29/2013|
Besides, go Buddhist. You'll be taught that you are more than your emotions. Your emotions aren't you. You shouldn't suppress your emotions, you should acknowledge them, but let them pass over you like a wave and continue on. It's like swimming in the ocean, struggle and the wave will consume you. Dwell on your emotions too much and you will just get lost. Pay attention to the present moment! (gong)
|by Anonymous||reply 208||09/29/2013|
[R58] To answer your question, a black person cannot be racist towards a white person because they don't have the institutionalized power to do so. Just as women cannot be sexist towards men. The oppressed cannot oppress their oppressors.
|by Anonymous||reply 209||09/29/2013|
I totally agree R208
Every emotionally stunted gay Asians should study Buddhism
|by Anonymous||reply 210||09/29/2013|
You're full of shit R209. You peddle that nonsense in every thread that has anything to do with race on DL. Everyone who reads DL with any regularity knows what a joke you are. You're not even good at trolling. Go try on some other board where they haven't heard your bullshit 100 times in a month.
|by Anonymous||reply 211||09/29/2013|
r209, We have a black president!! Don't give me that shit!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 212||09/29/2013|