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My niece and her gfs are planning an intervention to get football player friend to come out.

Here's the thing. He's not out to anyone, maybe even including himself. None of his male friends think he's gay, probably because of his talent on the field, and his family is very homophobic.

This is all based on the fact that he pings to high heaven, has never been with a woman, and is much more comfortable hanging with the girls than the guys.

So they are convinced he's 100% gay and would be happier out than hiding in a closet. They really do love this guy and think they're helping him.


by Anonymousreply 11811/09/2012

I'm sure they'll feel so much better after he kills himself because all his straight buddies reject him.

"Dude, you're not one of them fags, are ya?"

Let him come out in his own time.

by Anonymousreply 110/13/2012

Is he a quarterback, wide receiver or tight end? If not, I don't care.

by Anonymousreply 210/13/2012


by Anonymousreply 310/13/2012

I can easily see a group of well-intentioned teenage girls coming up with an idea this obviously bad but I can't imagine an adult going "I could see it either way, better ask the internet!" Please tell me this is a troll thread.

by Anonymousreply 410/13/2012

You can't be drawn out of the closet, you can't be cajoled out of the closet, you can't be pulled out of the closet.

You have to COME out of the closet.

This will not end well.

by Anonymousreply 510/13/2012

Really, OP .... you know the answer. Those girls need to shut their holes. People come out in their own good time, whenever that is. They can relay that they are gay accepting of ANYONE without trying to out him SPECIFICALLY. If he's gay and he knows he has an accepting audiennce, then ... again, he'll do it in his own time.

by Anonymousreply 610/13/2012

Tell the fish to mind their own fucking business.

by Anonymousreply 710/13/2012

Make them read this first, OP. It's none of their business. Really, it's not. He has to do it on his own terms, when it's SAFE for him to do so.

[bold]National Coming Out Day: It’s Actually Okay To Stay Closeted[/bold]

It's a great, personal, moving blog entry from someone who is out...

by Anonymousreply 810/13/2012

Tell them to stay out of it. I made a "funny" remark in front of a bunch of people to a straight, married man with kids once about him sounding gay - which he did, big time. He didn't think it was funny and things were weird between us afterwards. A year later he came out of the closet. He went through hell trying to accept himself and has a very strained relationship with his family now. The fact that he was not really passing for straight was not helpful news to him, just more pain in a very painful time.

by Anonymousreply 910/13/2012

Nice plot for a gay themed comedy, but sounds like a terrible idea in real life. A homophobic family is not something well meaning amateurs should mess with.

If real OP's niece and gfs should stick to a simple message like 'we love you gay or straight' and leave it at that.

by Anonymousreply 1010/13/2012

Tell your stupid, ignorant, foolish niece to STFU!!!!

by Anonymousreply 1110/13/2012

I think OP is looking for help in the appropriate way to inform his/her niece and friends. Forcing someone out is never okay. But acting like someone being gay isn't a possibility is almost as criminal and potentially harmful to development. Since he doubtfully has his ducks in order to come out, support should come in the form of an offhand comment that if he were gay, they'd love him still and dearly for it.

by Anonymousreply 1210/13/2012

This is a horrible idea.

by Anonymousreply 1310/13/2012

I think OP should mind his own fucking business. Let the kids live their lives, OP, they don't need your "sage advice."

by Anonymousreply 1410/13/2012

"Sweetie, it's so cool you're trying to help this friend out. But coming out of the closet is a personal endeavor. Give him space and don't get involved. Now, go watch the new Bieber video."

by Anonymousreply 1510/13/2012

Does she think she's trying to help? She and her girlfriends need to mind their own fucking business.

The only time this is is acceptable is if she is close enough to him, perhaps she could talk to him privately and ask if he's gay. But coming out is none of her goddamn business.

by Anonymousreply 1610/13/2012

It's posible that, before he kills himself, he will go on a murderous rampage and rip off the heads of your supid niece and her fucking gfs.

by Anonymousreply 1710/13/2012

A friend was getting bullied at work with "fag" remarks. He was in his late 20's and the year was 1997. He dated women but was a neon sign for being gay. Attempted to have a heart to heart with him about whether he was gay or thought he was.

End of story...he later avoided me at all costs and the friendship was over.

Still feel bad about the conversation, but kinda hurt that he blew me off.

by Anonymousreply 1810/13/2012

The bitches aren't helping him out of the closet, they're pushing him toward suicide.

by Anonymousreply 1910/13/2012

Tell your niece she might be potentially responsible for her friend getting kicked out of his home or even beaten up if he gets outed.

by Anonymousreply 2010/13/2012

If this is not an EST post this is incredibly fucked up shit. Maybe he doesn't even KNOW if he's gay or straight yet. Sheesh.

by Anonymousreply 2110/13/2012

Maybe he'll prove his manhood by cumming inside your niece.

by Anonymousreply 2210/13/2012

Jezz, what a bunch on misogynists. Some of you gays really hate women as much as you hate gay men.

I get it's not a great idea, but they are trying to be supportive and they think he would be happier being an out gay man than living a lie in the closet.

Tell them that the best way to support him is for her friends to show they are gay friendly in everyday life and stand up for gay rights, it will give him the courage and confidence to come out in his own time.

by Anonymousreply 2310/13/2012


by Anonymousreply 2410/13/2012

R23, how did you jump to misogyny? Dear god, you're off base.

by Anonymousreply 2510/13/2012

The fact is, many people don't know if they are gay or straight for a long time. This is actually harmful behavior by this woman, not helpful.

by Anonymousreply 2610/13/2012

because she is fish, R25, and everything turns back to her being a victimized vagine person. It is ALWAYS all about them.

by Anonymousreply 2710/13/2012

Because they were being naive kids, trying to be supportive and cool and the vitriol you guys attack them with is almost mouthwater.

Same as soon as an actor comes out as gay, DLers tear him to shreds while idolizing gay 4 pay porn whores.

by Anonymousreply 2810/13/2012

[quote]Because they were being naive kids, trying to be supportive and cool and the vitriol you guys attack them with is almost mouthwater.

No, you're not getting it.

Regardless of their intentions, their ideas and potential actions could have HUGELY damaging repercussions that they have not considered.

It makes no differencce if the kids pondering this are male or female. Seriously, get a fucking clue. The reactions here reflect the seriousness of the situation.

by Anonymousreply 2910/13/2012

R28, kiindly take your cane from the cane rack and hobble off to your book club reading and your people of color caucus so you can wring you hands over something local like the use of freon near the community swimming pool.

by Anonymousreply 3010/13/2012

how fucking dare they intervene like that

what gives them idea that it is acceptable to do so?

by Anonymousreply 3110/13/2012

Not a good idea at all. His sexuality is irrelevant, it will end badly weather he is gay, straight or someone in-between. Not really sure what their motivation is - if it is purely to help him, then the only way they can do that is to be there for him whenever and wherever he decides to address it. In the mean time, say positive things about gays and homosexuality in his presence and let him know you are not homophobic and don't have a problem with it - this will help.

by Anonymousreply 3210/13/2012

Take as many hours as it takes to get through their empty heads that just because they come from loving families that will accept them no matter what, doesn't mean everyone else comes from loving families that will accept them no matter what.

Ask them to ponder what they think he will do when his parents throw him out and say they hate him, he's going to burn in hell for all eternity, and they will never speak to them again, and he has nowhere to live and has lost his whole family? And since they seem to have no empathy whatsoever, ask them how THEY would feel if their whole familes threw them away, said they hated them, and they never saw or spoke to any of them ever again? Happy?

If he kills himself, will they be happy? Do they understand anything that doesn't involve being happy, all the time, no matter what? If not, tell them to get a clue and quit telling other people how to live, until they actually know something about what real life is like.

by Anonymousreply 3310/13/2012

[quote] but they are trying to be supportive

No, they aren't. They are being typical busybody, know-it-all teenagers. They are trying to control "their friend." If they are still this stupid at this age that they cannot envision the difficulties "their friend" may encounter then they are too stupid to live.

They are treating him as their pet and they have no respect for him as a person. Tell them in no uncertain terms to fuck off and mind their own business.

by Anonymousreply 3410/13/2012

They are self-important, self-centered cunts who need to mind their own business.

No wonder gay men hate women.

by Anonymousreply 3510/13/2012

Intrusive little vaginas

by Anonymousreply 3610/13/2012

How does your niece know Tim Tebow?

by Anonymousreply 3710/13/2012

What part of "none of their fucking business" do they not understand?

by Anonymousreply 3810/13/2012

Nobody should come out until they are out of high school and away from home.

To do so earlier only invites trouble.

by Anonymousreply 3910/13/2012

What R34 said.

by Anonymousreply 4010/13/2012

[quote]No wonder gay men hate women.

Look at you, all generalisations and stereotypes. I'm a gay man and don't hate women and don't call them fish or vagines either you stupid fucking fucks.

OP, tell them not to bother because he might end up with some pathetic phobia of women that he wears with arrogance and pride like a homophobe wears their homophobia.

by Anonymousreply 4110/13/2012

34 and 35 are completely right. I bet one of the girls hit on this kid and he ignored her, was oblivious to her flirting with him, or whatever so all the girls got together and decided he was "gay." Maybe he's just shy and wants the hot cheerleader and not the dorky niece. When I was younger and too stupid to know better, I'd get wrapped up with girls as their "pet" and would constantly be asked "Is blah blah blah gay? I'm sure he's gay" - this was because the girls had crushes on guys, and in their mind if he wasn't trying to date her he must be homosexual. Most, not all, girls at that age (shit, women at any age) are completely self-centered. Having a guy not be attracted to her at the prime of her youth is a devastating blow to her ego, and having him be gay lets her maintain her high opinion of herself. High school girls are the worst, but I still have some wonderful female friends from that period of my life that were never like that. They always got the hot guys and never treated me as a pet.

by Anonymousreply 4210/13/2012

How is this any of their damn business, OP? Dragging someone out is always a bad idea (unless they are homophobes who hurt gays) esp when they are young. He should come out when he's ready, not when somebody else thinks he should.

Of course, he might not even be gay and has some other problem that makes him different.

Whatever it is, it should be HIS choice.

by Anonymousreply 4310/13/2012

I don't know why you think this is an EST. There are plenty of people who lack social discretion and OP is one of them.

by Anonymousreply 4410/13/2012

[quote]you stupid fucking fucks.

With such a limited vocabulary, r41, who are you to refer to others as stupid?

by Anonymousreply 4510/13/2012

OP, how do you know about this? Did she tell you?

by Anonymousreply 4610/13/2012

Check it out, y'all!

by Anonymousreply 4710/13/2012


by Anonymousreply 4810/13/2012

Those girls should find a single, hot, gayling to hit on this guy and see if he responds. If they go out, your niece will have her answer. If he demurs, she should take the hint and leave him alone.

by Anonymousreply 4910/13/2012

I already told my niece I think it's a terrible idea...

But here's the thing. They're not going to out him. They're going to do an intervention with only those who think he's gay. They're not going to tell anyone else unless he decides to come out.

I only posted it here to see what others had to say.

by Anonymousreply 5010/13/2012

R50, that's STILL a bad idea. A really bad one.

by Anonymousreply 5110/13/2012

If interventions to get people to come out worked, by now Datalounge would have outed half of Hollywood.

by Anonymousreply 5210/13/2012

Your niece should mind her business. It's not her life.

by Anonymousreply 5310/13/2012

What is the point of the "intervention"? It sounds like they've made a lot of decisions on his behalf already, i.e. that he's gay, struggling with life in the closet and dying to tell his friends but afraid to. If they care about him, then they need to wait until he's comfortable sharing his feelings.

by Anonymousreply 5410/13/2012

That's horrible r 50. Can you imagine the spot they are putting on this kid?

And if he confirms it, you know these girls will run to others and it will go around school with "he confirmed it himself!"

You better have another talk with her. Ugh, some people.

by Anonymousreply 5510/13/2012

[quote]They're going to do an intervention with only those who think he's gay.

This crosses the line between possible to total fiction. You made up the whole thing, OP, because nobody is stupid enough to go along with this.

Anyone who would be okay with "an intervention with only those who think he's gay" wouldn't even have the intelligence to log on to the internet.

by Anonymousreply 5610/13/2012

Cunts interfering with a man's sexual development, self-discovery and progression are among the foulest, most dishonest creatures on the planet.

Tell your niece that she is exhibiting behavior that easily could be interpreted as an act of hate. Tell her that she had better not be such a meddling, intrusive little bitch, pretending her motives are anything but self-satisfyingly, brazenly twat-like.

QUIT QUIBBLING, OP. This is a terrible thing. Your niece is a filthy cunt.

by Anonymousreply 5710/13/2012

R57 = the male Nan

by Anonymousreply 5810/13/2012

So how is it mouthwatering?

by Anonymousreply 5910/13/2012

I didn't first come out to a whole group at once, it started one person at a time, and I suggest that method for anyone else coming out.

I would have felt more than intimidated by an "intervention" - this is the kind of thing that leads to kids contemplating suicide if they are not ready to come out. However, I would have understood your niece or one of the other "friends" approaching the subject one on one. Notice I said "would have" but not from a bunch who thinks some kind of spectacle at his expense is the way to go.

by Anonymousreply 6010/13/2012

r50 That sounds like an ambush!!! JFC! If he is gay, he's obviously not ready to come out to others and maybe even to himself! What's the point of backing him into a corner??? What's the point in embarrassing him?

And "intervention"??? Why exactly? You intervene in a "bad" situation! Gay isn't a "bad thing" even if he's closeted, especially at his age!

Tell them to stay out of this fuckin business and just be HIS FRIENDS! That's all he needs right now.

by Anonymousreply 6110/13/2012

But I'm pleased to see that the nephew troll is diversifying.

by Anonymousreply 6210/13/2012

Tell your idiot niece and her gang of halfwits that interventions are conducted by professionals. Are they going to tell him that his closeted behavior has hurt them and they will cut him out of their lives if he does not come out in the way they think he should? This would be a good time for you to teach her some life lessons, like live and let live and mind your own fucking business.

I hate people like this.

by Anonymousreply 6310/13/2012

[quote] They're going to do an intervention with only those who think he's gay.

They are going to do a WHAT?

by Anonymousreply 6410/13/2012

I feel such a sense of vindication from reading this after identifying with the football's situation. Wish all those nasty girls had left me the fuck along when I was going through my sexual awakening process. I love [57]'s comment. Wish you had told me that...oh, about 15 years ago :)

by Anonymousreply 6510/13/2012

I'm straight and any intervention that isn't done to save my life, preferably with a counselor present, would be seen as an offensive attack. I would never, ever forgive those well-meaning but cruel idiots. Tell them it's none of their business, and to quit gossiping among themselves. Better to act like he's 100% straight and help him hide, perhaps until he goes to college or leaves his hometown. OP, please ask the silly girls how they'd feel if one of them asked them some very personal questions in front of the others. Then they might get the hint.

by Anonymousreply 6610/13/2012

[quote] I'm straight

Did you have to come out as straight? No? then shut up. We know you better than you know us

by Anonymousreply 6710/13/2012

Ask your niece if she would like a baseball bat shoved up her gash, OP.

by Anonymousreply 6810/13/2012

I think Nan is less high-strung and more easygoing than r57.

by Anonymousreply 6910/13/2012

R67 - Did you actually bother to read the comments made by R66? I think that R66 was spot on, with his/her comment.

by Anonymousreply 7010/13/2012

OP maybe you should show your niece what gay people think about this idea. Because she's straight she's completely clueless about the coming out process. There is no need for an intervention. A person has to take that journey themselves. There's literature on the stages of coming out in case you want to help you niece understand that she's being insensitive to this kid.

I was out to a few people by the time I was 16. I can't imagine how it would have felt for individuals to gang up on me thinking that they knew best about what I should do. What if this kid is gay and is out to a few select individuals? That's probably something that might be going on. Just because he doesn't feel like outing himself to a bunch of fucking busy bodies doesn't mean he's clueless about himself or he hasn't taken steps to talk to GAY people in private regarding the matter.

If this story is true, you're sibling did a TERRIBLE job raising your half wit of a niece.

by Anonymousreply 7110/13/2012

R70, Thank you for your support. I've been repeatedly devastated by others revealing very personal info that I wanted and needed kept quiet. It severed relationships with friends, family, and led to constant job loss. While not the same, I can definitely relate to those who are totally insensitive.

by Anonymousreply 7210/13/2012

Uh...they aren't in high school. They're in college. And any of you that follow college football probably know who this guy is.

Maybe intervention's the wrong word, and maybe they're being a little insensitive, but I can't imagine what you people would call these girls if they were totally disgusted by the gay, because young people who are disgusted still exist believe it or not.

by Anonymousreply 7310/13/2012

[quote]Uh...they aren't in high school. They're in college.

Uh, then they're even more stupid than anyone imagined. Uh, let's hope that you, OP, and your uh stupid niece never have any contact with that uh football player. Uh, too bad he doesn't know what's going on so he can get a uh restraining order against you and your uh ilk, OP.

by Anonymousreply 7410/13/2012

Sounds to me like some people have watched too much reality TV and think that's how normal humans behave.

And now they've figured out a way to do their own real-life "Intervention" episode. How awesome is that?

by Anonymousreply 7510/14/2012

Are you even gay, OP? B/c your comments make you sound completely clueless about the process of coming out. It does NOT matter whether we're talking high school or college. Your niece and her stupid friends have no business ganging up on some guy who they think is gay.

If the guy is gay, I assure you that he's already dealing with the gay issue internally or by talking to other GAY men. He just has no interest in telling acquaintances, and that's what your niece is to him, some chick he talks to periodically but has no real deep connection to, that he's gay.

He has his own reasons for not 'coming out' to these busybodies, such as: a) they gossip and he's not ready for everyone to know, b) they are acquaintances and he has no interest in discussing something he's processing with them, c) he's still coming out to himself and needs time to figure it out before he outs himself, d) he's expecting to get a deal in the NFL and he's TERRIFIED about being outed before he can establish himself, e) as you said his parents are homophobes, he depends on them for financial and emotional support, f) he's not gay but he's extremely guarded about sexuality possibly b/c of abuse or something else from his past, g, h, i to z) lots of other reason he has that leads him not to come out to this particular group of insensitive idiots who are bullying someone by doing an 'intervention' (b/c seriously is he an addict that's impacted their lives by his behavior?).

Clearly, your niece was raised by wolves who didn't teach her any damn values or boundaries. Something she'll need in life for her own success and psychological well being.

Oh and they aren't actually gay positive friends. Therefore, they don't need any support from us. They are as disgusting to some of us as homophobes are b/c instead of treating their 'friend' like they would any other, meaning, maintain boundaries and allow their friend to deal with something that doesn't impact their lives on his own, they've decided that they are going to bully him, b/c that's what they are doing, bullying him to come out for for their own satisfaction.

Underneath their behavior lies the behavior of someone being passive aggressive and unable to empathize with others. So no, they ain't much better than homophobes who are at least upfront with their disgust and hatred. Instead these girls are more insidious since they are actually doing something hurtful and insensitive against someone they claim to care for as a friend. Don't see love or concern, only smug satisfaction of a bunch of undercover mean girls.

by Anonymousreply 7610/14/2012

Personally, I love that your niece and her friends expect that gay people are able to live openly and happy. This is a good sign for future generations. It is time to stop endorsing the closet because doing so implies that being gay is something to keep hidden. Until all gay people are willing to be open about who they are, do not expect others to be accepting.

by Anonymousreply 7710/14/2012

Your niece and her friend better hope he doesn't Chris Brown their asses.

by Anonymousreply 7810/14/2012

[quote]And any of you that follow college football probably know who this guy is.

Let us know if she goes forward so we can bet on the opposing team. If he's a nationally known football player, there's a lot more at stake for him than his date life.

by Anonymousreply 7910/14/2012

First, I got a message last night that the thread didn't exist, so imagine my surprise today.

I really wish this were an EST. This has disaster written all over it. And if these young women have the porous boundaries they appear to have, the whole thing could end up on youtube. At least until legal action is threatened.

by Anonymousreply 8010/14/2012

This is not an intervention - it is bullying and a potential hate crime based on perceived sexuality. Hope they all get expelled, which they will if he decides to report it.

by Anonymousreply 8110/14/2012

The little girls are clueless, sheltered little SATC clone wannabees. I'm betting the stud wants nothing to do with them and now they want to tag him as 'gay' because they don't understand how their gash could be so unattractive.

Hope they die in a grease fire.

by Anonymousreply 8210/14/2012

OP, I dare you to show your niece this thread.

by Anonymousreply 8310/14/2012

Suggest to your niece she wouldn' want to have his family hold her responsible and try and sue her or something if he did commit suicide. Stranger things have happened.

And if your niece/her friends are truly toleran of people and their choices: what difference does it make? if he's straight, gay, bi, or undecided? Isn't this HIS business?

by Anonymousreply 8410/14/2012

How do hold an "intervention" for being gay? It's the old disease/pathology model. These girls sound visious.

by Anonymousreply 8510/14/2012

Does he at least look like Eric Decker?

by Anonymousreply 8610/14/2012

I had an in-law pull me aside once and tell me if I was gay he was fine with it. I wasn't ready to be out yet and was horrified he did this.

People need to come out on their own time.

by Anonymousreply 8710/14/2012

OP, this guy's family is extremely homophobic, so I'm assuming they are some type of Fundies. Some Fundie religious groups teach their kids that any physical contact with the opposite sex before marriage is wrong, including kissing, even holding hands in some cases. In that case, he may be avoiding hanging out with guys, because they would be pressuring him to drink, take recreational drugs and have sex, and he doesn't want to. He's probably the only guy in his group of jocks that isn't fucking around, and they make him feel uncomfortable or maybe treat him like a freak. Maybe he thought hanging out with girls would mean less pressure to have sex. If he's home schooled, he may not realize that college girls are just as horny as guys.

Could it be that this guy is a straight virgin and these girls think that means he's gay, but he's just trying to live up to his parents' expectations?

If so, that's not being a friend, that's essentially blackmail, because if he is outed to his parents, gay or not, they will cut him off financially.

That sort of extremist religious view is not my cup of tea, but if he's not bothering anybody, leave him alone. If the end result is that he drops out of school and ends up going to some hardcore Fundie university instead of associating with people of all backgrounds, because they are bullying him over his viginity, that's too bad. Fundies need to get out into the real world more. It's better for them and everyone else, rather than the usual extreme isolationism. And now we know why they do isolate themselves.

by Anonymousreply 8810/14/2012

OP, have you talked to your niece about her dumb idea?

by Anonymousreply 8910/16/2012

What's happening, OP?

by Anonymousreply 9010/16/2012

I already told her how I feel, that I do NOT agree, and no I would never show her these obnoxious comments. Talk about drama queens... most of you are bitter, and probably closeted, cunts.

Just because she had a stupid idea, or one of her friends had a stupid idea, doesn't mean she deserves to be crucified. She is a sweet girl who would never hurt a fly.

R77 is the only one who understood the motivation behind her not-so-good idea.

by Anonymousreply 9110/17/2012

[quote] She is a sweet girl who would never hurt a fly.

One's actions don't have to be aimed at hurting someone to actually hurt them.

[quote] I would never show her these obnoxious comments

She needs a wakeup - and showing her a selection of commments might be what she needs.

by Anonymousreply 9210/17/2012

OP, no matter what her intentions are, she doesn't have a right to interfere with this boy's relationship with his parents or tell everyone she knows he's gay when he might not be. It sounds like she and her friends are assuming he's gay because he doesn't act like the other straight boys she knows. People don't have a right to insist somebody else act however they think they should, or be bullied or harrassed. That's not "sweet." That's not a lot different than Mitt Romney cutting that kid's hair and saying it was all in fun. Not so funny if you're "it."

If she's trying to get everyone that knows this boy to believe he's gay, when he might not be, or at least doesn't want to be identified publicly as gay, that is very serious harrassment. Your niece's feelings aren't the only ones that matter, especially since she loses nothing by ruining the life of somebody else. How can you be so callous? Young people this age are very vulnerable and don't handle this stuff well. People have dropped out of school or even killed themselves over less. I don't see how she has a right to do this because she is "sweet." She sounds like a bully to me.

by Anonymousreply 9310/17/2012

She's not an idiot, and she doesn't need to read comments calling her a cunt. All she needed was an explanation of why an "intervention" is a bad idea. Once again, I don't think "intervention" is the right term for what she was describing. I believe her intentions were as R77 described.

by Anonymousreply 9410/18/2012

OP - Get your head out of the sand.

Tell your niece that you've discussed her idea with a range of gays and lesbians and that many of them see what she is proposing as inappropriate interferance in the football player's life, which could potentially damage his wellbeing, including his relationship with his parents and his football career. Tell her that some of the gays and lesbians see what she is proposing as reckless behaviour and a form of bullying.

by Anonymousreply 9510/18/2012

I wish the football player could see this thread and take OP's niece to court. She should also be reported to the college authorities for her harassment. (Please note, OP, I didn't call the stupid bitch a "cunt." I also think her intelligence level is down in the basement alongside her uncle.)

While you agree with R77, OP. The FACT is, neither you nor R77 even know if the guy is gay, bi or straight. Thus your approval of the post by R77 illustrates your stupidity in this entire matter.

by Anonymousreply 9610/18/2012


by Anonymousreply 9710/18/2012

What a nosy little bitch.

by Anonymousreply 9810/18/2012

[quote]How do hold an "intervention" for being gay? It's the old disease/pathology model. These girls sound visious.

In fairness, R85, they're not proposing an intervention because he's gay. They're proposing an intervention because he's in the closet. That's very different. Not appropriate, but very different. And they're not suggesting that there's anything to do with disease, illness or pathology.

Incidentally, "vicious" is spelled with a C.

by Anonymousreply 9910/20/2012

R99, I disagree. This is from Wikipedia, just because it's the most straightforward definition of "intervention" I can find quickly.

"An intervention is an orchestrated attempt by one or many people – usually family and friends – to get someone to seek professional help with an addiction or some kind of traumatic event or crisis, or other serious problem. The term intervention is most often used when the traumatic event involves addiction to drugs or other items...

"Interventions have been used to address serious personal problems, including, but not limited to, alcoholism, compulsive gambling, drug abuse, compulsive eating and other eating disorders, self harm and being the victim of abuse."

It's obvious to me that these girls are making a judgment based on pathology. And you are accepting their judgment that he's in the closet.

by Anonymousreply 10010/20/2012

OP has said already that "intervention" isn't the right word to use.

I think the girls' hearts are in the right place and that their intent is to let their friend know it's "ok" to be gay - especially if he's getting the opposite message at home from his family - but they need to respect his privacy and let him find his own way. They are naive to think that they can "fix" things for him. And OP was naive to post this here.

by Anonymousreply 10110/20/2012

can we please keep posts more consice? some of you guys are getting up to four or five paragraphs. Let alone sentences. Do you think anyone is reading your dead sea scrolls?


by Anonymousreply 10210/20/2012

looking at you, r101. DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT ANYONE IS GOING TO WADE THROUGH SIX(!) full, lengthy paragraphs to get to your point?

this is a web post for god's sake. not "war and peace."

by Anonymousreply 10310/20/2012

I meant to say r75. I mean it's just ridiculous, really.

by Anonymousreply 10410/20/2012

R101, most here believe it's not "okay to be gay". But, yes, the girls' hearts are in the right place.

by Anonymousreply 10510/20/2012

I would like to see R102/103 moderate the next presidential debate.

by Anonymousreply 10610/20/2012

[quote] they're not proposing an intervention because he's gay. They're proposing an intervention because he's in the closet. That's very different.

That makes their interference even worse, OP.

by Anonymousreply 10710/20/2012

Why, R107?

by Anonymousreply 10810/20/2012

Agree with [R107]...And this sounds like the college girls my ex teaches, who wanted their closeted friend to come out so that they could have a fab gay friend to hang with, like the women they admire on TV and in rom-coms.

I remember being bothered by my ex's story about those girls just as I am by this one: its ultimately more about the girls' desire to have a gay accessory than the guy's desire to be "out".

by Anonymousreply 10910/20/2012

If the football player is gay, or even just sorting out his sexual orientation, the closet is a protective thing for him, particularly with homophobic parents and playing a macho team sport.

Given that OP's niece is a lesbian, rather than going 'well, I came out and I was okay', she can help her footballer friend by just living her life openly as a lesbian and being a role model for him. Having good role models is an extremely important thing.

by Anonymousreply 11010/20/2012

If I'm not mistaken the OP's niece and her friends don't even know for sure that the football player is gay. The girls have assumed that the guy is gay because he doesn't behave in the way they believe a straight guy should. I suspect that at least one of these girls had her ego bruised by the football player not being interested in her. It is probably easier to believe the guy is gay than that he is not simply not attracted to her

by Anonymousreply 11110/20/2012

But, R100, it's not his being gay that they perceive as a problem. What the intervention is about (and I do know the definition of intervention, just like I know the spelling of "vicious") is his being in the closet -- whether or not he is. And no one has ever suggested that that is a disease. R85 is just mistaken.

by Anonymousreply 11210/20/2012

If thie football player was a closeted-gay raging homophobe and the girls wanted to out him because he was a liar (which is what you are when you're closeted) and a hypocrite, would you all be in support of the girls?

by Anonymousreply 11310/20/2012

An intervention is where a bunch of your VERY close friends and relatives sit you down and tell you exactly how your addiction has affected your relationships with them and how they can no longer sit idly by and watch you destroy your life. The goal is to get the addict into treatment immediately to stop him from further destroying himself and causing such pain to his loved ones.

In what way do these idiotic cunts think this applies in this case?

by Anonymousreply 11410/20/2012

As a nurse who has worked in the ER, I have seen the aftermath of a number of interventions gone terribly wrong after the popularity of the A&E show. Needless to say, those involved were well-meaning but terribly ignorant and deeply traumatized their loved ones. Interventions are truly the last resort for addicts and deeply troubled people. OP, I hope you can counsel your niece to do something less ominous: take him to a gay bar for dancing or something. I hate to use the word "journey" as it is so overused but if he is gay and closeted, this is a journey he will have to undertake on his own, in his own time.

I just get the feeling these women are planning this so they can congratulate themselves for being so liberal and open-minded. I hope that OP can let these women know that the loving, selfless act would be accepting this guy the way he is right now.

by Anonymousreply 11510/20/2012

These little Frau in the making should mind their own business. R114 is correct about the purpose of an intervention. Ho does this guy's being gay negatively affect those busy body, nosy cunts. How could being confronted by a group of people about what is likely a source of fear and shame (or he'd have already come out himself if he even really is gay) be anything but soul destroying.

Their hearts are NOT in he right place and people should stop saying that. Anyone with two brain cells who though this through would see the potential for harm. Therefore, the only reason to continue is for their own selfish reasons.

by Anonymousreply 11610/20/2012

I wish I'd thought of this.

by Anonymousreply 11710/20/2012

Update, please.

by Anonymousreply 11811/09/2012
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