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Do you have a friend who cannot remember what you tell them? They continually forget things that have been discussed.

Even important things. For example, if you tell them you had a biopsy to see if you have cancer, they will completely forget mentioned it - not only not remember, but forget to ask you how the biopsy turned out. So even though you worried about maybe having cancer, they cannot even remember you told them or to ask about it. That's just an example. Do you find it insulting?

And no, I'm not boring.

by Anonymousreply 3910/21/2012

[quote]And no, I'm not boring.

No, but how many "biopsys" have you had done on things you concluded were "pre-cancerous moles" but were, in reality, just moles? 20? 30? 40? You can't blame a hag for not keeping track of all this psychosomatic shit.

by Anonymousreply 110/13/2012

Early onset dementia?

It happens.

by Anonymousreply 210/13/2012

I think it is more likely she simply doesn't care what happens to you. I had the exact same thing happen to me today, so I just hung up from our conversation which turned from my cancer to her hair. I am not self-absorbed.

by Anonymousreply 410/13/2012

Why do you say R2 is a 'miserable fuck', R3?

I actually do think it might be early onset dementia. The friend is 59.

He also has smoked toxic big cigars for 12 years or longer which seem to have addled his brains.

He also has developed attention deficit disorder and often cannot concentrate.

And he is sometimes depressed which sometimes makes him unable to focus.

Besides all of the above, he is self-absorbed, narcissistic, and not other-directed.

So all of this contributes to him not remembering what has been discussed.

by Anonymousreply 510/13/2012

I think we need a thread on SPANKING, what do you think, r3? Miserable fuck is as miserable fuck does??!!

OP, I think alot of it is that people today, many of them, don't know how to listen, they can hear but they lack listening skills and for this you can lay some of the blame on their upbringing and education--consider the sources. I think it partly stems from self-absorption and part of this perhaps came from kids interrupting adults in conversation and not being reprimanded for it.

by Anonymousreply 610/13/2012

We have a gazillion PIN numbers and passwords to remember, why do you expect us to remember your mole tag biopsy?

by Anonymousreply 710/13/2012

People are largely self-centered and cannot be bothered with the details of other peoples lives. That's the conclusion I've come to over the years. I dated a guy for EIGHT MONTHS...recently he was making out a check to me (to repay money I'd lent him) and he actually had to ask what my last name was. Unfuckingbelievable.

by Anonymousreply 810/13/2012

Sorry to hear OP. But here is the thing - if you do get a cancer diagnosis, the last thing you are going to worry about is stuff like this - it's all petty in the spectrum of things. Really it is.

Focus on your supportive friends and family - your real support system and your health. That's what is important right now.

Hope everything is ok with your biopsy.

by Anonymousreply 910/13/2012

The biopsy was not of moles, asshole R7 and R1.

That is incredible, R8. Weird.

by Anonymousreply 1010/13/2012

My parents are dead, R9.

You are trying to be nice, but you are very presumptuous and narrow in your thinking - thinking that everyone is the same.

by Anonymousreply 1110/13/2012

Rll your nasty response to a friendly note by R9 to you has, well, let's just say you're an asshole and leave it at that.

by Anonymousreply 1210/13/2012

R11, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking before I posted.

The point of my post is - this guy isn't a supportive friend. Focus on your supportive friends right now, not this guy. He isn's worth your energy. You need to focus on your health.

And for what it's worth OP/R11, I can personally relate to some of your situation.

by Anonymousreply 1310/13/2012

There is nothing nasty about the response at R11, idiot R12.

by Anonymousreply 1410/13/2012

R9,R13, why would you automatically assume everyone has supportive friends readily available?

Sorry, but you're still stuck in your narrow thinking - thinking that everyone is the same.

It was nice of you to say you hope the biopsy turned out okay.

We'll just leave it at that. But I think you should re-think the way you think that everyone is the same.

by Anonymousreply 1510/13/2012

[quote]But I think you should re-think the way you think that everyone is the same.

And maybe you'll find out, through this experience, that people respond differently in finding out their friend has cancer. They may talk about it, they may wish to avoid the topic, they may distance themselves, or they may be very supportive.

Like you said, everyone is different OP.

[quote]It was nice of you to say you hope the biopsy turned out okay.

Yeah, I had one done myself in May. (And, like OP, it wasn't a mole R1/R7)

by Anonymousreply 1610/13/2012

I know what you mean.

I have this friend "Betty", I have to use the air quotes because she's a bitch.

Anyway I asked Betty to loan me $350 till payday.

Well she's the type of person that will come to you on payday and want her money back.

I told her "I didn't pay you back last payday, what makes you think you'll be getting it now?

She was then all upset and started crying. She says, "She doesn't have enough money to pay her rent now and the landlord threatened her."

While I feel bad for his cunt, I fail to see how any of this is my problem.

So the moral is: some women are just cunts.

by Anonymousreply 1710/13/2012

OP is an Entertaining, Slutty Treat, folks. Look at its replies throughout the thread for proof. Don't feed the troll.

by Anonymousreply 1810/13/2012

No, R18, everything I stated is true and my friend does have a terrible memory.

by Anonymousreply 1910/13/2012

My ex. He's still a good friend. He can't remember any significant date from our relationship, either as partners or friends. He gets me confused with his other exes. It can be sort of funny, but also infuriating. I can say outrageous thing I want to him. I know he won't remember.

by Anonymousreply 2010/13/2012

Yes, I have a friend like this, and it is driving us apart because he never remembers or asks after anything, and I'm tired of prompting him. So now we just talk about his life, or general things.

by Anonymousreply 2110/13/2012

Well, I lost interest already too, OP so I can see both sides in this situation

by Anonymousreply 2210/13/2012

R20, I ran into my ex who I was with for 16 years and he started telling about Portland, Oregon. He assumed I had never been to Portland.

I reminded him that he and I had visited Portland together! I could tell he did not remember that.

We live in the midwest so it was a major trip to Portland, OR and we flew.

by Anonymousreply 2310/13/2012

[quote]Besides all of the above, he is self-absorbed, narcissistic, and not other-directed.

In that case, it's your own fucking fault for having such poor choices in friends to begin with. Why *do* you surround yourself with BPD/NPD types, exactly?

by Anonymousreply 2410/13/2012

R21, exactly!!

by Anonymousreply 2510/13/2012

R24, he does have some or many positive traits too.

He just happens to be stunted in the area of being other-directed.

by Anonymousreply 2610/13/2012

I have a sneaky suspicion the same people who never remember anything their friends tell them are the SAME people who sit there and dick around on their smartphones constantly while you're trying to have a 1-on-1 conversation with them. Just a hunch!

by Anonymousreply 2710/13/2012

OP, this friend sounds like an Aspie candidate?

by Anonymousreply 2810/13/2012

Sorry! I meant to call R1 a miserable fuck, not R2.

by Anonymousreply 2910/16/2012

Apology NOT accepted, R3. You're a miserable dick with poor posting skills.

by Anonymousreply 3010/16/2012

OP, your friend is more thoughtless than insulting, but we don't know him like you do. I'd say don't expect to get water out of a rock, go to the water well from now on when you're thirsty.

[R5] After reading your post, you also might also consider calling him your "ADD-Warthog" friend, no?

[R8] You maybe think he wanted to make sure he spelled it correctly? Guess dating doesn't require an IQ test.. from anyone?

[R17] I agree. Anyone as stupid as her to lend you her rent money, as well, also must be an "Ignorant Slut, Jane".

by Anonymousreply 3110/20/2012

r7 Stop being redundan! "PIN number" means Personal Identification Number number.

by Anonymousreply 3210/20/2012

Sometimes people don't care about what you have to say, OP. Sometimes they just don't care about you. It makes you think, are these really friends? When nobody remembers your birthday, but you remember theirs. Sometimes it's a one-sided friendship. I'm not into those, I just fade-away from their lives, but respectfully. Most times, nobody notices. So, it's a win-win for both of us.

by Anonymousreply 3310/20/2012

I was on the phone with a friend earlier today. She complained about her work situation, then asked me about mine. So, I told her about the shit I'm putting up with at work, and while doing so, I noticed she wasn't saying anything back to me. I said: "is this boring you?," and she still said nothing. It occurred to me she wasn't paying any attention to what I was saying. Then, we switched talking about her, and the rest of the conversation was all about her.

Some people don't give a fuck unless it's about them.

by Anonymousreply 3410/20/2012

r33 -- I so agree with you.

Isn't the opposite also startling sometimes?! A person, whom you don't consider a friend, that remembers incredibly detailed information about you.

Normally, one would think - oh, so and so, must have a crush on me, or this person must like me.

But sometimes, they are just watching you and playing close attention.

Weird.

by Anonymousreply 3510/20/2012

When my mother died, my friend Dave flew to NYC from San Francisco to help me deal with it. One of the nicest things anyone ever did for me. He spent several days with me, friends and family.

Recently (a couple years later), I mentioned my mother's death in passing and he said, "Oh, she died? I'm so sorry."

I was shocked but didn't say anything. He does a lot of X. Is that a side effect?

by Anonymousreply 3610/20/2012

I hope OP's anal biopsy comes out OK. That must be scary! At least he got a trip to Portland out of the deal and that girl paid his rent. Now back to me... Huh? What say?

by Anonymousreply 3710/21/2012

I have a friend who tells me, every single time I see him, how he was diagnosed with cancer,how it affected him emotionally and what he has to do since he turned down chemo.

The fucking crazy thing is I was there through it all. I was the first person he spoke to after surgery. I was the person telling him to go the doctor because he coughing was unusual. I know every detail about his cancer and his treatment.

And it's not his memory. He remembers other details just fine. To me, it seems like he has his speech already made, he just needs the audience to spew it on.

by Anonymousreply 3810/21/2012

Look OP, you're not a little girl anymore. You reach a certain age and these kind of diagnostic tests become quite common. You can't expect everybody to drop everything just because you're having a biopsy. When you've got some real news, get back to us.

And why are blabbing about the particulars of your health care anyway? Again, these are private matters and you should keep people on a need to know basis. When you've got some real news...

And you are boring. People who use standard medical procedures as a means to create drama and get special attention are boring. People aren't stupid, they can smell when you're trying to cast yourself in a TV movie-of-the-week and they don't have the want or time to be your supporting players. So get over yourself.

Lastly, and most importantly, if your "friends" are not sufficiently attentive to you, here's an idea - get some new friends. I'm done here.

by Anonymousreply 3910/21/2012
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