For the second year in a row now my sister-in-law gave me a birthday card with a half-naked male on it. I'm no prude, but she also commented how she couldn't allow my 4-year-old nephew to sign his own name due to the nature of the card. Could she not just purchase a regular 'uncle' birthday card like she does for her own brother? Am I making too much of this? Should I say something or just let it go? To make it worse, this year's card had something like "I was going to get you designer shoes..." on it--as if I am Sarah Jessica Parker or something. Not ashamed of being gay--just hate being treated like a woman! BTW I threw it away in my recycle bin as soon as I opened it.
Should I Call Out My Sister-in-Law on Inappropriate B-Day Card?
|by Anonymous||reply 26||10/12/2012|
It's her way of showing she's openminded. And totally clueless.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||10/11/2012|
She meant a nice pair of Allen Edmonds
|by Anonymous||reply 2||10/11/2012|
I'd say something, personally (but say it *delicately*, unless you want to risk creating friction in the future). OTOH your declaration of throwing the card away immediately -- into the recycle bin, no less -- is very much a "MARY!" statement, so maybe you should just embrace your inner femme and go with it.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||10/11/2012|
She seems well-meaning and loving but clueless. If I were in your place, I'd gently poke fun at her attempts to connect over a glass of wine. Try to see it as amusing and not insulting but set her straight.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||10/11/2012|
She's trying to say she wants to be your hag.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||10/11/2012|
Tell her, but don't go all Flouncing High Dudgeon about it - keep it light.
e.g. "With the Internet there's no shortage of shirtless men pics if ever i want that. Would mean more to have a card from (Nephew) and you. But thanks for remembering me! Hugs"
Something like that.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||10/11/2012|
Please don't. You got a birthday card from an IN-LAW!! Nobody gets inlaw birthday cards. It was a kind (although somewhat lame) gesture. Accept the kindness and ignore the lameness.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||10/11/2012|
I'd say, "Thanks for thinking of me, but I'd much rather have a card that Nephew signed instead of something vulgar." I would have said it without hesitation as soon as she made the comment about not letting him sign it.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||10/11/2012|
A four year old could care less about a half naked person on a card.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||10/11/2012|
Yeah, my sister-in-law used to send me Playgirls. It was her way of letting me know she thought I was a cool gay guy. I didn't take offense.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||10/11/2012|
[quote]Please don't. You got a birthday card from an IN-LAW!! Nobody gets inlaw birthday cards.
Oh, please. I get birthday cards from my sister-in-law every year! (Never half-nude ones, thankfully.) I even get cards from my *former* stepmother. I guess your family doesn't emphasize manners...
|by Anonymous||reply 11||10/11/2012|
OP, lighten up!
In return, just send her a birthday card with a big fat half naked man on it.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||10/11/2012|
[quote] BTW I threw it away in my recycle bin as soon as I opened it.
I love how you're offended, yet still environmentally conscious, Mary.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||10/11/2012|
I understand your anger, op. When I get cards like that, I seethe. Do they think all gay men watch Sex in the City and live for designer clothes. I sure as fuck don't. I know the giver is trying to show that she's accepting and all that, but is clueless. I speak up. Always. I try to tell them that I appreciate the open mindedness, not all men fit in to the stereotype of what she thinks a gay man is. I'm pretty awful about this; whenever someone infurs that I'm less than a man or that I must like what all gay men like, I set them straight. it's not always comfortable, but I'm not going to let an antiquated view go unchallenged.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||10/11/2012|
R14 is "straight acting/appearing."
|by Anonymous||reply 15||10/11/2012|
Accept the card graciously. Not everything is a reason to be offended.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||10/11/2012|
[quote] I set them straight
Your internal dialogue is heteronormative. You should be setting them free.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||10/11/2012|
You are the only excuse your hag has for shopping the naughty section.
If you ask for home-made cards, you'll be expected to keep them on your refrigerator for life.
"Bless your heart" is the best response.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||10/11/2012|
You don't want to be treated like a woman, OP?
Neither do I.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||10/11/2012|
OP, Understand many in this world are still really clueless about anyone different, whether that person is of another religion, race, or sex. For example if you said you were an atheist, would you immediately throw out a Christmas card she sent? Better to politely explain your views, or take her kind gesture as how it was intended. Perhaps one day you could have a heart-to-heart and honestly answer all of her questions that I'm sure she has about your lifestyle. Again if you were an atheist, if she is not, wouldn't she have plenty of nosy issues she'd like clarified so that you can be closer? At least she's trying in her own naive way to show acceptance.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||10/11/2012|
r14 is often seen "infurs"
|by Anonymous||reply 21||10/12/2012|
[quote]To make it worse, this year's card had something like "I was going to get you designer shoes..." on it--as if I am Sarah Jessica Parker or something.
That's your only legitimate complaint.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||10/12/2012|
[quote]To make it worse, this year's card had something like "I was going to get you designer shoes..." on it--as if I am Sarah Jessica Parker or something
Couldn't find anything in your hoof size?
|by Anonymous||reply 23||10/12/2012|
B-Days are so much cleaner and more civilized than toilet paper.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||10/12/2012|
You are the Maryest Mary who ever Maryed in the kingdom of Maryland. Jesus Mary Christ.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||10/12/2012|
Hell yes. Fuck that bitch. She is grown and should know better. We take enough from them.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||10/12/2012|