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Were you bullied in school for being gay?

If so, do you still remember specifically what was said & done to you? Does any of it still affect you today? Just curious.

by Anonymousreply 1510/11/2012

yes, got all the usual comments. didnt help that i was at a catholic ghetto school of course...

by Anonymousreply 110/11/2012

Yes, very badly bullied in jr high. I've blocked a lot of it out and can't remember much of it anymore, also because it's been over 30 yrs. Does it affect me today, like do I still get depressed about it? No, definitely not. It's ancient history.

by Anonymousreply 210/11/2012

Yes, I was taunted every day throughout middle school in 7th and 8th grade, after which it subsided a bit in 9th and 10th. Frequently I was also hit, clothes torn, and my belongings thrown in the street (there was no bussing - we walked). We're talking a backwater city in the late 1960s.

After that I went to a different school for my last two years - that's how our school system was set up - and since I was in the pre-college high school, it was pretty much okay.

I think my success in life - wonderful husband, great friends, good job, beautiful apartment - have served as the best tonic in healing from that time.

I will say that I have held myself back a lot by trying to stay under the radar rather than being as visible as I might have been, but that's pretty much all behind me.

by Anonymousreply 310/11/2012

Yes, throughout high school. It was payback for me bullying the most annoying kid during middle school.

Remember how your mother told you to just ignore them and they'll go away? It never worked and I was forced into a lot of fights.

The worst part of these fights was that the asshole I had to fight was never the ring leader - he was just a dweeb forced into a fight by the group. I always won, but it was never taken seriously because I was a fag fighting a loser.

How does it affect me today? I pick up on bully vibes and find myself acting a lot more aggressive. Finding a meaningless public escalation point is easy. Pushing them back against a proverbial wall is fun.

It has challenged me professionally - any time you call out a coward, you create a whisper campaign that needs to be nipped in the bud.

by Anonymousreply 410/11/2012

Weirdly, although I never made any secret of my sexual orientation, I was never bullied, from middle school through college. I kept expecting to be, but it just never happened, apart from a few slighting remarks that were like water off a duck's back. I lead a charmed life.

by Anonymousreply 510/11/2012

Yea, during the 8th grade, which must have been my little queen phase as later I filled out, got on the football team and no one mentioned it again (though it was a different high school then the one my grade school tormenters went to.) Effect on me, was that luckily I didnt turn around and be the bully, it would piss me off is anyone ever picked on anyone for anything. While leaving scars I think it made me a better, more independent person. Though I still have a freaky feeling of stomach upset when I see a gang of preteen and high school boys, after 20 years. I flashback to being that skinny akward apparently queeny 13 year old again!

I also had a hard time letting anger at those shits go, until this year I looked up one of my tormentors on Facebook and saw that he had died. Life is too short, time to let that anger go.

by Anonymousreply 610/11/2012

I was treated horribly in middle school. I will never forget one very specific incident in 7th grade where I was humiliated in front of the entire class. We were watching a video about something or other when a clip of a man running track in a speedo came on the screen. This kid named Chris yelled, "(My name) has a boner!" The entire class started laughing and the teacher did absolutely nothing. What was worse, Chris's friend who sat at the desk next to me actually pointed at my crotch and nodded his head "yes". It might sound pretty stupid now, but it was very traumatic at the time and I spent the rest of my school years very quiet/depressed/to myself...I really just wanted to be invisible. I went to a pretty small school so my bullies ended up being in quite a few of my classes, unfortunately.

Oddly enough Chris just recently friend requested me on Facebook. I have NO IDEA why he thinks I'd want to be his "friend" and I just had to laugh when I got the request. He can go royally fuck himself.

I really wish I could block my middle school years from my memory. It was an incredibly dark, depressing time in my life. I find what R5 said to be interesting, because there were a few other kids at my school who were way more flaming and obviously gay than me, and yet I never once saw anyone bully them. Perhaps they were bullied and I just never witnessed it, but it seemed like they were largely left alone which I find odd looking back.

by Anonymousreply 710/11/2012

r4, so you're a past and present bully who complains about being bullied.

by Anonymousreply 810/11/2012

Sadly, I think my abuse in Jr & Sr High School altered my personality. I can be scared & paranoid and can shut down emotionally. I am socially inept. It was awful. I'm 51 years old.

by Anonymousreply 910/11/2012

I was bullied in 7th grade by a goon and his friend. I was called all the usual slurs. It really freaked me out to be targeted like that since I was a quiet, unassuming kid. I had enough stress at home with my violent, alcoholic Dad and had looked to school as an escape and suddenly it wasn't anymore. I felt very alone and had no one to talk to about it. No one cared.

It caused me to retreat inward. I barely made a peep throughout the rest of my school days. I only started to open up to people--let them know the real, funny and smart me--when I was a sophomore in college.

by Anonymousreply 1010/11/2012

R8, it's an anonymous board and I chose to answer the OP honestly. My post added to the thread. Yours? Meh.

by Anonymousreply 1110/11/2012

If I was, I wasn't aware of it. I pretty much lived in my own world with my own friends and didn't pay attention to anyone else. I went to a pretty big high school, so it was fairly easy to just be left alone.

by Anonymousreply 1210/11/2012

R5, same. But I'm young and female, that probably factors in. When I got teased it was always mild and usually more for being weird in general.

by Anonymousreply 1310/11/2012

Luckily, I was never bullied. In elementary school, I liked playing with barbies and pretending they were in soap operas. One day, a group of boys went through my backpack and found the dolls I had. They started taunting me that week and this escalated to a fight within 3 days. Two of them pushed me to the ground and started kicking me. When I got up, I threw a nearby rock at the head of one and launched myself at the other pummeling him to the ground. After that they just avoided me.

That reputation stuck with me and I was known as the "psycho/freak" kid. Lots of rumors of me doing evil things started but I preferred that to the gay rumors as they got me a certain amount of respect/fear.

by Anonymousreply 1410/11/2012

One guy. It was like a subplot from Glee. He'd push me up against the lockers, taunting me: "You look like a fag, I bet you're a fag." He never hit me but it was frightening. Then he'd calm down, walk away, and go back to his jock friends. Two years after high school, he walked into a gay bar I was in, apologized, and asked me to dance a slow dance with him. I think he liked me, underneath it all.

I found out early that bullies fold easy. You confront them back, by themselves -- not with a group, and they'll run like rabbits. But if you can humiliate them in front of the group, all the bettter.

by Anonymousreply 1510/11/2012
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