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Job interviews where they already know they're going to hire someone else.

Had one today and the bitch actually admitted it to me in the interview.

I went in all prepared and everything, and the woman interviewing asks a couple of perfunctory questions and is clearly not listening to my answers. So then I started to ask a few questions, and she holds up her hand and says (with a smirk) "You're trying too hard. We already have a candidate, we just have to conduct three interviews. You're the third."

OMG. I got up, politely thanked her for her time and asked if I could use the restroom. She walked me to the door of the conference room and vaguely gestured down the hall.

I went into the single-occupancy ladies' room (I'm a guy) and did an upper decker, then quickly left the building.

That'll teach these assholes.

by Anonymousreply 4703/12/2013

upper decker?

by Anonymousreply 110/10/2012

Upper decker:

by Anonymousreply 210/10/2012


by Anonymousreply 310/10/2012

[quote] upper decker?

Taking a dump in the tank instead of the toilet bowl.

by Anonymousreply 410/10/2012

good for you OP! Fuck these HR bastards!

by Anonymousreply 510/10/2012

Congrats. You really socked it to the minimum wage janitor.

by Anonymousreply 610/10/2012

I don't think you taught "them" much, but you have taught me more than I needed to know.

by Anonymousreply 710/10/2012

[quote] I went into the single-occupancy ladies' room (I'm a guy) and did an upper decker, then quickly left the building.

This. did. no. happen.

by Anonymousreply 810/10/2012

[quote] I went into the single-occupancy ladies' room (I'm a guy) and did an upper decker, then quickly left the building.

You had me in your corner until this part. You're a loser and a liar.

by Anonymousreply 910/10/2012

OP, I'm sorry to hear that. I've had it happen to me before, but it turned out for the best. Good luck...and keep your sense of humor. Regardless of what anyone says, the upper decker was well deserved.

by Anonymousreply 1010/10/2012

I taught you well, OP.

by Anonymousreply 1110/10/2012

So bascially, R9, you were in my corner until I rightfully exacted appropriate revenge, instead of "being the bigger person" like most Oprah-fied sheeple have been trained to do.

by Anonymousreply 1210/10/2012

What toilet in an office building has a tank?

by Anonymousreply 1310/10/2012

You sound kind of, how shall we say, high maintenance, OP...

by Anonymousreply 1410/10/2012

OP is making shit up, but if he's not, R6 is 100 percent correct.

by Anonymousreply 1510/10/2012

He's doing SOMETHING with shit, that's for sure...

by Anonymousreply 1610/10/2012

Good for you, OP! That was shitty!! (The HR cunt's behavior -- not the double-decker "calling card."}

by Anonymousreply 1710/13/2012

Why do they do these type of interviews then? Surely it's illegal and they're just trying to cover their asses by interviewing more people for the job?

Timewasting cunt.

by Anonymousreply 1810/13/2012

Gee, what with OP's sparkling personality and temper tantrums, I simply can't imagine why anyone would not want to hire him.

by Anonymousreply 1910/13/2012

I would have fired off a letter to the higher-ups at the company and told them what the interviewer told you. Perhaps she could have been reprimanded or fired for telling you that. It's very difficult to find honest people to work for anymore.

by Anonymousreply 2010/13/2012

I would have told the bitch off before leaving.

by Anonymousreply 2110/13/2012

R6 is correct. You didn't get revenge on her, just the poor schlub who has to clean up your mess. Idiot.

OP, what you should have done is tell her you have no plans to leave the building until she cuts you a check for your mileage, parking fee and your time wasted. I would say maybe $100 would cover it.

by Anonymousreply 2210/13/2012

Applications for this type of positioned are called 'wired' applications.

On two occasions I have been interviewed for wired positions where the wired candidate either didn't make probation (they made a real mistake and needed on the job time to realize it) or they took a BETTER job and fucked over the employer.

On both occasions I took the job on a follow up offer.

I always give 100% and in the event someone tells me, as she did you, that the job is wired it is the cue to AUDITION for a future interview. Ask about the person they are going to hire; what qualifications do you not have? Ask the interviewer about their job. Turn on the fucking charm; make them regret not hiring you and make you the first face that pops into their head when a vacancy occurs.

Be pleasant, be professional, be persistent.

Afterwords, move on.

NOT bowel-movement on.

by Anonymousreply 2310/13/2012


Many organizations have a policy to interview a minimum number of people to give the appearance of fairness. In some cases they may even have to interview women/minority candidates also to aoiv lawsuits.

by Anonymousreply 2410/13/2012

Poor janitor had to clean up your shit!

by Anonymousreply 2510/13/2012

R23, I tried "turning on the charm." The woman told me I didn't "need to try so hard" because she knew they were going to hire someone else. She was not interested in auditioning me. She just wanted me to come in and answer a couple of questions, and get on with her day.

The janitor may have had to clean up the mess, but not before an actual employee (hopefully the bitch who interviewed me) flushed the toilet and got a nice surprise.

by Anonymousreply 2610/15/2012

Something like this happened to me. I went to an interview and the receptionist/secretary didn't know why I was there. I told her I had a job interview for the web design department. The lady looked worried and confused. I asked her what's going on and she replied that the person who was conducting the interviews wasn't aware of the appointment even if she saw that I did have an appointment in her agenda. The man doing the interview was gone for lunch. So I waited and waited, confused with what was going on.

The fellow finally came back from lunch and the secretary told him about me. He looked shocked and confused. I suddenly realized then that they already hired the person and they forgot about my appointment. I followed the jerk who was doing the hiring and I pretended not to know what was going on at first but decided it wasn't worth it. He went through the paces of a typical job interview but after seeing how I reacted to the crap he was saying he slowly fessed up that they already decided on a candidate they interviewed last week and forgot about my appointment. The whole thing was unbelievable.

by Anonymousreply 2710/15/2012

Hurrah for R23. Finally an adult in the room. These things happen, and they're not very nice; but it is important to remain businesslike, since word gets around.

by Anonymousreply 2810/15/2012

This happens a lot. That's why it matters more WHO you know. You've got to get the inside track to get a job these days. Use your contacts.

by Anonymousreply 2910/15/2012

There have been times where a job has been promised to someone.

Yet when applicants are interviewed, sometimes someone just knocks it out of the park and is so much better than the person the job has been promised to. And that person gets the job.

Nothing is 'for sure' until an employment agreement is signed.

by Anonymousreply 3010/15/2012

I applied for a government job and for the first time in years they are giving a general test. In the old days they would give a test in an office classroom and upgrade the MQs to limit it to a small group of eligibles. This recruitment is at at a convention center hall with a few hundred anticipated to be tested.

They are expecting to hire full units of employees.

Someone saw the light at the end of the tunnel and gave the hire go ahead.


by Anonymousreply 3110/18/2012

GOOD FOR YOU!! You gave them what they had coming to them! Sux for the janitor, but yay for you! For those of you who wonder why employers conduct interviews when they know who they're going to hire, it's to keep from running afoul of EEO laws. I'm surprised that lady admitted that she already make her choice. Employers usually won't do that because of the EEO laws. What a bitch.

by Anonymousreply 3203/11/2013

I once had an interview with with a husband and wife team that ran a small business.

Very quickly into the interview it became apparent that the husband already decided that he had made up his mind and wanted to hire the person who interviewed before me. He was incredibly obnoxious about it to the point where the wife told him to knock it off in the middle of the interview.

The whole exchange made me incredibly uncomfortable. I thought the guy was totally unprofessional and knew very quickly I didn't want to work for him.

When he did it again after the wife told him to stop. I got up and told them to go ahead and hire the other guy since I had no interest in working for them.

by Anonymousreply 3303/11/2013

How will that "teach" them? How is anyone going to connect your juvenile bathroom sabotage with you directly, and then surmise that it was in retaliation for wasting your time with a pointless interview?

Unless your interviewer is the only female in that office, or their entire staff consists of about 3 people, no one is going to connect your "upper decker" (REALLY??????) with "disgruntled job seeker angry about pointless interview".

And as others pointed out, all you did was ruin the janitor's day. So in addition to being stupid, you're also an asshole.

by Anonymousreply 3403/11/2013

I'm sorry but I call BS!! When was the last time any of you went to an office with an upper tank on the toilet. It is always just the bowl attached to the wall, seriously everyone take a look next time you go on break!

by Anonymousreply 3503/11/2013

They got spoiled by the last miserable decade, where people were lining-up on the sidewalk to beg for a job. Hopefully things are changing for the better, and they can go back to getting 9 resume's for their shit job opening.

by Anonymousreply 3603/11/2013

Last week, I got rejected for yet ANOTHER job after going through tons of bullshit: having to get a high score on a 60 question test before even getting an interview, the old cunt from the "Search Committee" whining about not being able to get a hold of a reference BEFORE I even got interviewed, the interview itself with 4 fat cunts and then having to take ANOTHER little test after the interview, and then having to wait 2 weeks to find out because people are so damn dumb it takes them that long to chose between 3 people. When one of the old cunts finally called me to let me know that they hired someone else, I hung up the phone immediately as soon as she started the "you were a strong candidate" bullshit. I don't even want to hear that shit. I've interviewed with this company multiple times for different positions and still nothing and I'm done with them wasting my time.

by Anonymousreply 3703/11/2013

Ooh, #37- you don't want to burn bridges like that. You should have just done a perky, "Well, keep me in mind for future openings? Have a blessed day!".

I often find people unprepared to interview me. Similarly, four myopic cubefraus will be poring over my resume, asking dumb questions: "Now, how long were you at ABC INsurance?". Um, what does it say on there, Cheryl?

by Anonymousreply 3803/11/2013

Why didn't you just shit in the sink? That's what I always do.

by Anonymousreply 3903/11/2013

Was it the maintenance worker that interviewed you? Because otherwise you're an asshole.

But most modern office restrooms don't have tanks on their toilets.

by Anonymousreply 4003/11/2013


by Anonymousreply 4103/11/2013

How convenient that OP had a fully formed turd up there at the time of this interview, all ready to go just when he wanted to deliver an upper decker.

by Anonymousreply 4203/11/2013

I can't wait until the tide does turn on these HR assholes/practices

I don't care if this story isn't true - the fact is that HR does do this. I have had it happen to me. It sucks big time.

They're just doing their "due diligence" to complete their papework before bringing on the person that they already know they want.

by Anonymousreply 4303/11/2013

This happens constantly in business and also municipal hiring. It's part of the process. You should have used this as a learning tool and to practice interviewing skills. Instead, you took an extremely immature reaction and now some poor custodian has to clean your shit for no reason. You are a dirtbag and I hope you never find a job.

by Anonymousreply 4403/11/2013

R44= HR shill

by Anonymousreply 4503/11/2013

Several in my group interviewed for a promotion to headquarters. The job went to the son of a district manager from Upstate. The company had to do this kabuki dance to meet EEO requirements.

by Anonymousreply 4603/11/2013

Companies will sometimes run an a for a job where the candidate has been selected. You can tell because of the requirements i.e. must have twenty years experience, speak Serbo-Croatian, live in the Northeast Bronx, and a have Commercial Driver License. All of this BS is because of EEO rules that openings must be published.

by Anonymousreply 4703/12/2013
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