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Do you have a brother?

If so, what is your relationship like?

by Anonymousreply 7910/13/2012

Got two. Older. Known them all my life. They're OK.

by Anonymousreply 110/05/2012

I have a younger brother -- about 18 months younger. We were reasonably close growing up because we moved frequently. He married a bitch and they are raising three spoiled rotten children. Very accepting of my sexuality, but we've grown apart -- primarily because his wife and kids are not particularly pleasant to have to spend much time around.

by Anonymousreply 210/05/2012

Yep, a twin. We cohabitate.

by Anonymousreply 310/05/2012

Yes...I haven't:

Seen him in 22 years

Spoken to him in 17 years

Written him in 9 years

We became Facebook friends last month, but I haven't communicated with him outside of a few pleasantries. The guy is a stranger to me and honestly, I don't trust him.

by Anonymousreply 410/05/2012

Is your twin gay or straight, R3?

by Anonymousreply 510/05/2012

We're both gay, R5.

by Anonymousreply 610/05/2012

Have you guys ever messed around?

by Anonymousreply 710/05/2012

Eww, NO!!!!

by Anonymousreply 810/05/2012

one older, one younger

the older one felt displaced when I came along

it's not like relationships u see on tv

by Anonymousreply 910/05/2012

R9 = Andrew Gold

by Anonymousreply 1010/05/2012

One brother. We hardly speak. But when we do, it's pleasant.

by Anonymousreply 1110/05/2012

No, I don't.

by Anonymousreply 1210/05/2012

Were you the two gay twins that were on Ricki the other day?

by Anonymousreply 1310/05/2012

Four older brothers one of whom is gay. He and I are very close, but I'm not particularly close to the others. In fact one of them is like the family reject and none of speak to him.

My two other brothers are nice guys, and I enjoy seeing them, but really, we don't have much in common.

by Anonymousreply 1410/05/2012

Mine is seven years older. We don't talk more often than 3 or 4 times a year, and we also see each other only about once a year (he lives in a different state); but when we see each other we have trouble breaking away because we have so much to talk about with each other.

by Anonymousreply 1510/05/2012

[quote]Were you the two gay twins that were on Ricki the other day?

LOL, nope.

by Anonymousreply 1610/05/2012

Two older brothers - one 6 years older, one 2 years older.

I have a blast with both of them, but my oldest brother is a bit of a pain and I think he finds it hard having 2 gay brothers.

My other brother (2 years older) is gay and lives a block away from me, but we don't see each other as often as people would think.

Oh - and I was setup on a blind date with my brother, which is how I found out he was gay. Many years ago, but it's still such a funny story.

by Anonymousreply 1710/05/2012

OMG, R17. That was wild. Tell the story!

by Anonymousreply 1810/05/2012

Yes, I have a brother. He and I have no relationship at all, unless you count me regularly hoping/wishing/praying for him to get what he well deserves (ending up in prison for life and spending his prison time ala Richard Speck; wearing woman's panties, taking hormones to grow breasts and being a pass around piece of ass for the prisoner population

I was out of the house at college when this all happened. He violently raped my sister when she was 11 (he was 20 at time). He got away with it when my father found out, because my father was afraid how it "would look" to the neighbors, his work colleagues, the rest of his family, and his "friends" at the country, and yact clubs. My father refused to let my mother take to the ER, because he didn't think it could be kept secret, and didn't want anyone to know because it "might" damage my brothers chances in life.

 My sister committed suicide when she was 19. After she died I found and read thru her hidden journals.  He'd raped her many more times after the original rape. She'd been looking forward to moving out of the house to go to college, but my brother was somehow able to talk my father into having her stay home and work for my father's company instead.

 He has something VERY wrong with him psychologically. He's the closest thing to evil I've ever known.

by Anonymousreply 1910/05/2012

OK R17 - you asked, but it's probably funnier for me than others.

So I used to go into a bar on Friday nights only (because of the drink specials, I was 20 and on a budget) - and I got to know the owner well. After several months the owner asks if I'm still single and I say, yes why? Well he knows a great guy that comes in here on Saturdays that he thinks I would really click with.

He's a bit shorter than me, but we have the same sense of humor and we actually look a bit alike. I'm like - ummm, whatever, ok, set me up. Weeks go by and no more info (my brother was studying for finals, so he wasn't in the bar). Then, finally the owner says - OH GOD - he was here again last Saturday! Come in this Saturday around 10 - drinks are on me!

So I go in the bar, owner greets me like a grinning grandma matchmaker, puts his arm around me and says - AT LAST! He's over here - so I walk over and my brother is turned away from me - and I'm like...I know that back from somewhere. Owner puts his arm around him, turns him around and says - See! Here's the guy I was talking to you about!

We both froze and didn't say a word for an awkwardly long time. Owner says - what's wrong? And we both say - oh we know each other. Then I react really poorly and freak out and tell him that he's disappointing our mom and that he's not really gay. Really classic straight person acknowledgement, which in hindsight, was really weird. I didn't accept that he was gay for another year.

Ok - but I usually tell the story with this ending: So we dated for a few months but I eventuallly broke it off cuz I couldn't stand his mother. Ba-dump-dump. Always gets a laugh.

God I've told this story so many times - hope it was worth the long read. But, I have another story - we both came out (unknowingly) to our religious mother within the same week. Good times.

by Anonymousreply 2010/05/2012

Possibly, of all the things I've read on DL, R19's story is the worst. I'm so sorry that happened to your sister and to you. I just gave the usual "let it go, it only hurts you" advice on the Revenge Served Cold thread, but this I couldn't. I wouldn't say that your brother is the closest thing to evil. That distinction I'd save for your father.

by Anonymousreply 2110/05/2012

Three older brothers.

The oldest was almost out of high school when I was born, and he fell out with our parents after he left home, so we didn't have much of a relationship. I think of him more as an uncle than a brother. We see each other at funerals. He moved out of state a few years ago, but I'm not sure which one.

I get along the best with my next oldest brother, though we're not exactly close. He's the most good-natured person I've ever known, and he's helped me out of a few jams over the years. We talk on the phone occasionally.

My third brother is a nightmare. I was born when he was five years old, and I always say it was the worst thing I ever did to him -- he was the youngest child in the family before I came along, and he never forgave me for usurping his position (sounds like R9 can relate to that). He spent our childhood years torturing me, and beating me up when I did anything he found "girly." Now that we're adults I avoid him as much as possible, although I've heard from my sisters that he's pining to have a better relationship with me. Not that I can't get over the past; he's even more exhausting today then he was when we were kids.

by Anonymousreply 2210/05/2012

yes. He is resentful that I have achieved so much and he has done so little.

by Anonymousreply 2310/05/2012

One brother surviving. Parents are dead under bad circumstances. We're close. We work and travel together, and I have to admit that some nights when we've both had too much to drink it feels good trading fuck loads with each other. The job is pretty intense, and it's a good way to decompress. We really tear into each other's asses, but then we're both pretty hot, to be honest.

by Anonymousreply 2410/05/2012

One brother, he's 2 years older. We're both gay. We grew up in NYC and now live 2 blocks from each other on the LES.

by Anonymousreply 2510/06/2012

How did lightening strike twice in so many of your families?? I'm from a HUGE family and I'm the only gay one for miles!

by Anonymousreply 2610/06/2012

I have 4 brothers (Irish family of 6) of which I am the eldest. I have always got on well with my youngest brother, 12 years younger than me. We are very close, I am in constant contact with him and his wife - in fact my partner and I are going to visit them in Ireland next week. His 2 children are pleasant to us too.

The other 3 brothers and I more or less ignore each other, no communication between us, unless for a wedding or a funeral. I may see one or 2 of them briefly next week just to say hello to. Very strange but thats the way its always been between us.

by Anonymousreply 2710/06/2012

Oh, R19, I am so, so sorry.

by Anonymousreply 2810/06/2012

r27 again - the funny story here is my poor parents also had 1 daughter after 4 sons, so they were over-joyed thinking they were now having girls, so had a 6th child who was a boy again, my dear youngest brother. The daughter though wanted to be a boy too - and did when she grew up, but is now back to being a butch lesbian. I am the only one in touch with her now ... strange how me and my sister are the gay ones.

by Anonymousreply 2910/06/2012

I'm often told by relatives that my older brother is 'trying REALLY hard' to get along with me.

While that may be a positive sign to some I find that if someone needs to TRY REALLY HARD to get along with me that perhaps it's best he not try and just go away.

by Anonymousreply 3010/06/2012

To those with brothers living blocks away, how awkward is it to constantly see your brother on Grindr only a couple of thousand feet away from you? And to see his torso shots or cock shots. Not to mention constantly seeing his ads on Craigslist, Manhunt, Gay.com, Adam4Adam.

by Anonymousreply 3110/06/2012

I have a brother 2 years younger who is also gay. I haven't seen him in almost 10 years and probably had no communication for 6 years. I forget I even have a brother until someone brings it up.

I'm close enough with my parents and I think they wish my brother and I were close, or at least on speaking terms, but they have learned not to push the issue.

by Anonymousreply 3210/06/2012

I have two half-brothers, from my mother's first marriage. They are sixteen and eighteen years older than me, and while we are quite cordial, and they live relatively nearby (half hour for one, 1.25 hours for the other), we rarely see one another. I don't have much in common with them, and feel very much the black sheep in the family.

by Anonymousreply 3310/06/2012

R32, do you not like each other, or is it just inertia?

by Anonymousreply 3410/06/2012

I'm one of four brothers (I'm the third). I love all my brothers dearly. My oldest brother and I are both gay. We are very close. His coming out delayed my own, but he also taught me a great deal about acceptance. My second brother and I disagree about politics, and he still has a tendency to needle me, but I respect his opinions and look up to him, because he is a good man. My younger brother and I see each other quite frequently, as we live close by to each other. The two of us deal with our elderly mother on a daily basis. He is infinitely more patient than I.

I cannot imagine ever not having them as part of my life. Yes, we argue and get on each other's nerves. But then there are the wonderful moments of shared memories of growing up together, when all the other nonsense is forgotten!

by Anonymousreply 3510/06/2012

One brother, wealthy, conservative, "family values" Republican who has 5 children with 2 ex-wives and 1 new child with the woman he's been living with for the last 3 years. The only communication we have concerns our 92 year old mother who lives in a care facility in his city. I go down to visit her and will see him for an hour or so. Don't like him or his children and because I'm gay, they don't like me. I'm very happy to have limited contact with all of them.

by Anonymousreply 3610/06/2012

One older brother. We talk maybe once a year. Cordial, just not much in common.

One younger brother. Haven't heard from him in years, but neither has the rest of the family.

Three sisters. In constant communication with them.

by Anonymousreply 3710/06/2012

My brother is several years older. We talk on birthdays, but that's it. He's nice, but we have very little in common - he was the last to find out I was gay, since he has very little familiarity with that world.

I'm close to my sisters, but they are both currently establishing new careers - they're understandably too busy to see me on a regular basis. I see the older one more because she lives nearby, but the younger one and I have the most in common.

I'm extremely close with both my parents, and talk to them every day.

by Anonymousreply 3810/06/2012

Yes, I'm about ten years older though. We are close but distant (if that makes sense). There are some things that we can talk about and click on and it feels like a typical close bond. But, there are also topics and times when we just can not connect because there was such a difference in the way we were brought up. My mother (single parent) was much more strict, verging on abusive, with me and my older sister. But, she has been passive with my brother and it shows.

I'm glad he didn't go through what me and my sister did, but at the same time I find myself rolling my eyes when he can't seem to do basic things.

by Anonymousreply 3910/06/2012

Dry humor, strong intellect, a quiet friend. Used to be rather vain and high-strung, but a few setbacks taught him how to adapt, enjoy life, and be more accepting. Very gay-friendly. He is dead now and I miss him.

by Anonymousreply 4010/06/2012

I had two brothers, both much older than me. The oldest is still living, and we get along fine, but he lives on the other side of the country and is pretty conservative. He has met my boyfriend and has invited us to visit. We don't talk much though..the age difference makes it hard to communicate sometimes.

My middle brother was a mean, violent person who used to beat me up, and in the last few years I've started remembering him sexually abusing me as well. I haven't told my other brother or father (not very close to dad either) or really anyone. He died a few years ago.

I don't miss him at all.

by Anonymousreply 4110/06/2012

great!!!

by Anonymousreply 4210/06/2012

My brother is 3 years younger than me TO THE DAY.

He was born on my 3rd birthday. I always joke my mom held him a couple of weeks past her due date to save on cake.

He's straight and we have a good relationship. His wife says she married my brother because she would get me in the bargain.

We had lots of issues growing up -- mostly because of our weird Christian Science parents, but we eventually got over our stuff and are quite close.

by Anonymousreply 4310/06/2012

Why are white people always so distant from their siblings??

by Anonymousreply 4410/06/2012

[quote] Why are white people always so distant from their siblings??

They aren't.

In relation to DataLoungers, perhaps we are more honest about our family relationships and/or perhaps some of our family relationships have been adversely affected by us being gay/lesbain.

by Anonymousreply 4510/06/2012

I've wondered the same thing, r44. But I think r45 point is valid.

I dont have a brother, but I always wish I had one.

by Anonymousreply 4610/06/2012

No, r45, I've seen the same thing with straight people. White families are typically more distant.

by Anonymousreply 4710/06/2012

I keep having sex dreams about my brother. I dream we're going at it and then afterwards it's so awkward and then I wake up relieved.

by Anonymousreply 4810/06/2012

As compared to which other groups, R47?

by Anonymousreply 4910/06/2012

Just finished watching the MSU game with my little brother. Told a joke about them needing to go for the TD in the last 20 seconds and he freaked out in typical jock fashion. Started to lecture me about bad sportsmanship and right when he was really going to go into his history of football lecture I let him know I was just messing around.

It took him a few seconds to calm back down. I love messing with his little teenage brain. He does the same to me when I'm driving and can't figure out where to go. Like I said we don't have much in common but we're still close.

by Anonymousreply 5010/06/2012

I have one brother, 11 months and 1 day younger than me. We fought continently as kids. My father pitted us against each other to push us to excel. That made it pretty rough.

But, we've worked thru it, and we are pretty close now. In fact, we're both at a college football game, and my partner and I are meeting him and his wife in hour.

by Anonymousreply 5110/06/2012

I have an older brother (4 years older). Haven't seen or spoken to him since 1995 (as well as my older sister). We all still live in the same city. They're both evil to the core.

by Anonymousreply 5210/06/2012

So your mom got knocked up IMMEDIATELY after having you?

by Anonymousreply 5310/06/2012

I get along great with my brother. We're at a college football game right now. It was funny when we went to the bathroom to pee in the stadium troughs and crossed streams just like we did when we were kids. Brought back memories.

by Anonymousreply 5410/06/2012

I have one brother who is 1.5 years older than I am. He blames me for his failed relationships because I "used to beat him up in grade school."

I was very close with my parents (they were wonderful) and I'm pretty close to my brother's kids. I've given up on having a relationship with my brother though.

by Anonymousreply 5510/06/2012

My brother's wife's sister died an hour and a half ago. And no one seems to be very upset, not even her husband.

And because Datalounge will surely get a kick out of it, I should mention that she died of morbid obesity. Not only was she hugely fat, she was also a perpetual victim/patient whose every illness was extreme. She walked very little, and when she did, she was unsteady on her feet, which caused her to fall several times in recent years and break various bones. So she became an invalid who required her absurdly patient husband to wait on her hand and foot.

In the end, her congestive heart failure overwhelmed her, and she wasn't able to expel oxygen efficiently, so she slipped into a carbon dioxide coma (I'm sure there's a technical term for it, but I don't know it). In the past week she was put into hospice. She awakened briefly to acknowledge others' presence, but that's about it. She "slipped away" (their terminology) this evening.

Her husband is, I think, happy to be released from his servitude. He is a great guy who deserves a decent life. My sister-in-law is a nurse, and was always frustrated at her sister's refusal to do any rehabilitation or PT when she broke a bone, so I think she sees the death as regrettable but inevitable.

Don't know why I'm writing all this. I'm not saddened by her death -- I really disliked her intensely (on top of it all, she was terribly judgmental and a rabid Fundie) -- though I am a little freaked out that someone in my family is dead and no one will mourn her.

How horrible to live your life in such a way that people will find it a relief when you're dead!

by Anonymousreply 5610/06/2012

[quote]He blames me for his failed relationships because I "used to beat him up in grade school."

So why did you do that?

by Anonymousreply 5710/06/2012

How old was she r56?

by Anonymousreply 5810/06/2012

I was one of triplets, the other two boys were stillborn. I also have a brother 9 years younger who is such a tool that we rarely speak or have anything to do with each other. He is bipolar and refuses medication, among other issues.

by Anonymousreply 5910/06/2012

I love him, and he is very protective, but he's kinda mean to me and sometimes i wish that i had a dif. brother tho.

by Anonymousreply 6010/06/2012

I'm 58, have one brother 5 years older I now barely talk to for a number of reasons too complicated to go into here and a younger brother (2 yrs) I haven't spoken to for over 40 years again for a number of complicated reasons. I don't really want anything more than this at this late date and will probably not see either of them again in this lifetime although I suppose emailing either of them would be ok to a point but I doubt if that's going to happen either. And yes, we're white and I think as far as that goes, whites may be more honest with themselves about they want out of familial situations, when it doesn't happen then to hell with it. Hispanics, Asians and sometimes even Black people seem to think that familial "closeness" is something "required", almost as a way of showing off but they're not showing anything to me except smothering with the same annoying people around. Hispanics especially look at it as if it is something they "have" to do, not necessarily something they want to do. One example of this is how around Christmas time many of the Mexicans I worked with would fret and worry about how many siblings, cousins, etc. they "HAD" to buy gifts for--not that they merely wanted to do it. I sometimes told them that they didn't have to do anything of the kind unless they wanted to--somehow it never "computed" with them. Once a Mexican supervisor wondered why I never participated in the company Xmas gift exchange which many Mexicans and Philippinos always did--many of the Blacks and Whites didn't.

by Anonymousreply 6110/06/2012

R53

R51 here. Yep, they were futile little puppies.

My brother and I had some of the same classes in high school. We should have in the same grade, but they started me early to prevent that. I graduated at 17.

by Anonymousreply 6210/06/2012

r57, I used to like to horse around and wrestle with the boys in my class on the playground and my brother at home. I think I was burning off energy in a tomboy way.

My brother claims that I used to beat him up, but I don't ever recall throwing punches. I would have gotten in trouble for that.

by Anonymousreply 6310/06/2012

Does anyone else here remember a poster who claimed that he and his brother were in a monogamous sexual relationship, and they had been for years? I recently saw a similar story for like Dear Abby or something...the brothers were living as partners, but they didn't tell anyone they were related.

by Anonymousreply 6410/06/2012

[quote]How old was she R56?

Honestly, I'm not sure. My sister-in-law is 68, and I think they were two years apart in age -- but I don't know which way. So I'm guessing she was either 66 or 70. If I had to bet on it, I'd go for 66.

by Anonymousreply 6510/06/2012

My brother would have been 50 today. He died 14 years ago.

by Anonymousreply 6610/06/2012

Sixy-six would be old for a woman with the health problems you've described.

by Anonymousreply 6710/06/2012

R56 here. Yikes, I just found out she was 72. I had no idea she was that old.

by Anonymousreply 6810/06/2012

That's weird. A 75 y.o. neighbor (whom I've never met or seen, mind you) of mine died recently. Another neighbor said it was from complications from some crash diet she went on that resulted in a 20 lb. weight loss in two weeks. Yikes.

by Anonymousreply 6910/06/2012

Why is it I wonder if the majority of people are straight why some families have some kind of gene which produces several gay children ?

by Anonymousreply 7010/07/2012

I agree that we white people are very distant from our partners in comparison with most non-white ethnic groups. My partner is Greek, and my ex was Mexican. I've also dated a Pakistani. All three came from very close extended families, and though I would characterize their relationships with their families as love-hate, the fact is that none of them would dream of letting more than a few days go by without getting in touch. Both the Greek and the Paki would wake up in the middle of the night to call their families and make sure everything was ok on that end, sometimes getting into loud arguments with them on the phone, but nonetheless keeping all channels of communication open.

by Anonymousreply 7110/07/2012

Oops, that should have been "distant from our siblings" not partners

by Anonymousreply 7210/07/2012

I call bullshit on R19. Yacht clubs my gay ass. And if someone cared so much, he or she would DO something about it. Bullshit. And shameful in the context.

by Anonymousreply 7310/07/2012

Funny, my husband is black and totally out of touch with two of his three siblings. So, R44, it isn't always true.

by Anonymousreply 7410/07/2012

Three, much older, all assholes. We never see each other or speak. No fights, they just think I am weird. They are all straight.

by Anonymousreply 7510/07/2012

Black families are even more broken than white families, R74.

by Anonymousreply 7610/07/2012

Two brothers, one four years older and the other four years younger. We speak only out of necessity on holidays. They and their wives treat my mother badly. They seem unable to speak to her in a civil tone and put her down constantly. I am disappointed in my father for letting it continue. I've tried to stop it but when I say something about it, I'm the villain.

by Anonymousreply 7710/10/2012

Yes , its not going well me and my brother had a fight he called me a bicth and i got mad and socked the shit out of him but i apologized and he apologized but a day later he got a girlfriend she was mean to my mom so kicked her ass and then my brother and I got in a fight again he hasn't talked to me for a month I am worried that he will never talk to me again .And my name is HEIDI OROZCO please tell me what to?oh and his name is David roadala !

by Anonymousreply 7810/13/2012

My step brother had sex with me and i didnt want it to happen he was drunk and i was to

by Anonymousreply 7910/13/2012
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