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Cthulhu Here

Greetings, subcreatures. As I begin to bloom and revel in R'lyeh, I take notice of the work you, my acolytes, perform on my behalf on this planet. Starting with Syreeta and Billy Preston's 1979 smooth ballad, and now especially with the idle, vile gossip of The DataLounge, I am born again.

Sacrifice more of your celebrities to me! Join with my 'spawn', the Almiqui, in harnessing the powers of Anderson Cooper, the very idea of 'Gay-For-Pay', the inverted idiot minds of Arizona, that fat frau-cunt we all work with, and many, many more in bringing about my new, eternal reign!

by P.H. Fart-Clovereply 1010/06/2012

I had their song play at my wedding.

by P.H. Fart-Clovereply 108/14/2012

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

by P.H. Fart-Clovereply 208/15/2012

Verificatia of size meat?

by P.H. Fart-Clovereply 308/16/2012

Verificatia of size meat?

by P.H. Fart-Clovereply 408/16/2012

I think that one gigantic Kardashian, what's her name....Sasquatch Kardashian, is a high priestess of Cthulhu. Or maybe the mom would explain so much!

by P.H. Fart-Clovereply 508/16/2012

Didn't Cartman kill you?

by P.H. Fart-Clovereply 608/16/2012

Trey Parker is a huge Lovecraft fan.

by P.H. Fart-Clovereply 708/16/2012

Dear Cthulhu, Why on earth is a giant, all-devouring vagina looking to a GAY message board for followers? Shouldn't you be at Michfest?

by P.H. Fart-Clovereply 808/16/2012

I have returned, subcreatures! I was meant to make a gruesome appearance at the wedding of Thomas Roberts and Patrick Abner, but I overslept - my friend Dionne W. forgot to wake me. What is this about that fraucow Lisa Whelchel on "Survivor"?

by P.H. Fart-Clovereply 910/06/2012

Oh Lord Cthulhu,

You may want to check in on High Priestess Warwick. She has a vessel that my serve as a conduit for your return. She is also working with this group of extremely white humans who worship an angel named Macaroni. I suspect they are all agents of Cthugha, or Hastur. In any case, they could stand to be visiting by the Creeping Horror, or perhaps an arcane curse that turns their flesh to stone?

by P.H. Fart-Clovereply 1010/06/2012
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