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Men Over 40 Who Color Their Hair...

Why bother? It tends to look laughably bad when guys continue to color their hair, despite the deep wrinkles carved into their face. Maybe it's sexist, but men and women weren't created equal when it comes to pulling off dyed hair. And with guys, the darker the dye-job, the funnier the results.

Are any of you guilty?

by Anonymousreply 18506/30/2015

Middle aged men do NOT look better with colored hair. Own your grey hair and I know plenty of grey haired men in positions of authority. Women are a different matter and it IS expected that they color their hair (even before it begins to grow grey).

by Anonymousreply 908/12/2012

Women tend to be quite open about the coloring, telling everyone what their stylist said about the new color or asking whether they should go bright red or try a more natural auburn.

Men who dye their hair are more likely to pretend it's natural, which is laughable with a bad dye job.

by Anonymousreply 1008/12/2012

OP, you're mistaken. Men can pull it off and look younger way past 40. Men are still doing it in their 60's - look at Romney.

by Anonymousreply 1208/12/2012

I think R1 brings up a good point:

Older men who color their hair should leave a little gray on the sides, otherwise they tend to look ridiculous. That's why Mitt Romney looks okay, whereas John Travolta looks ridiculous.

by Anonymousreply 1308/12/2012

Not guilty. I'm just beyond grateful I have all my hair at 47. Don't give a shit that there's some grey.

by Anonymousreply 1408/12/2012

Nothing makes a man look older than dyed hair.

by Anonymousreply 1508/12/2012

God you're all a bunch of cunts.

by Anonymousreply 1608/12/2012

RE 16 = John Travolta

by Anonymousreply 1708/12/2012

Not all older men are trying to look younger, we're just want to look good. What's so wrong about that? And yeah, some get it wrong but oh well.

by Anonymousreply 1808/12/2012

Romney and Ryan look like they use the same shade of hair coloring.

by Anonymousreply 1908/12/2012

Some of us would be happy to have hair to color !

by Anonymousreply 2208/12/2012

My partner colors his hair, and has since his 20s. His mom was prematurely gray at 30. He did not want to end up like that. He has it professionally colored, so they leave a little of the gray. He is 57, and works in the alterations department of a very famous store. He insists he has created an image and must maintain it. All I can say is, at least he still has his hair, unlike me.

by Anonymousreply 2308/12/2012

On someone in their forties, it's not such a big deal. When you get up into the fifties and sixties it gets a lot trickier, but it can be done. The woman who did my mother's hair when she was in her seventies talked her into letting her make her a very pale blonde and it looked great.

by Anonymousreply 2408/12/2012

If it's done right, colored hair on men looks very nice. The problem is most men do it themselves with a drugstore product and choose a shade far too dark, which looks ridiculous.

Remember....the more grey you are, the harder it is to cover naturally. If you do it yourself, choose a "natural" or "gold" permanent tone one to two shades lighter than your natural color and leave it on for one hour. If you just have salt and pepper hair, use a semi-permanent dye like Clairol Natural Instincts (avoid Just for Men please) and leave it on for thirty minutes.

You're welcome!

by Anonymousreply 2508/12/2012

It's so easy to chase away the gray...and no one is ever the wiser!

by Anonymousreply 2608/12/2012

Guys who do it right: George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Alec Baldwin, President Obama, Charlie Rose

Guys who need to get a clue: John Travolta, Paul Ryan, Christian LeBlanc, Sam Champion, Ronn Moss

by Anonymousreply 2708/12/2012

Use semi-permanent color shaded to you own non-gray color.

Do it every other Friday.

Fades nicely; no hard line ever.

by Anonymousreply 2808/12/2012

Obama could use a little hair color touch-up.

by Anonymousreply 2908/12/2012

Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, and most Hollywood male stars color their hair and they look terrific. You don't notice the good dye jobs, only the bad ones.

by Anonymousreply 3108/12/2012

I don't go darker, I go lighter. The gray blends in nicely with the blonder coloring.

My hairdresser calls it 'caramel'.

by Anonymousreply 3208/12/2012

I'm starting to get a few gray pubic hairs. Now, that's something I refuse to accept. What should I do?

by Anonymousreply 3308/12/2012

Grey doesn't bother me. Guys can still look incredibly hot with grey hair.

by Anonymousreply 3408/12/2012

Caucasian men who can afford it choose what I call "Hamster Gold", a color that resembles what a dark blond man's hair looks like just before he turns silver. I see it a lot on the business-types.

by Anonymousreply 3508/12/2012

If guys with lighter hair go lighter to cover the gray, what do guys with brown hair do? We can't go lighter without becoming blond.

by Anonymousreply 3608/12/2012

Good...

by Anonymousreply 3708/12/2012

Men should avoid the dye pot unless they want to look like off-duty transvestites.

by Anonymousreply 3808/12/2012

Men Over 40 Who Color Their Hair...

and all idiots I want NOTHING to do with.

by Anonymousreply 3908/12/2012

My father dyes his hair. My mother likes it. He's a hairdresser so it's professionally done.

R36, Then they go blond or just a lighter shade of brown. Grey blends in more with lighter hair.

by Anonymousreply 4008/12/2012

Alec Baldwin's hair hasn't been looking so good lately. It's in Paul McCartney territory of orangey brown. Ick!

Some men look good w/grey, Jon Stewart, Keith Olbermann, Clooney.

Stephen Colbert looks good with just temple grey. He must have a good colorist. same w/Romney. Obama is greying gracefully. Paul Ryan looks like he used vampire black color.

by Anonymousreply 4108/12/2012

[quote]He is 57, and works in the alterations department of a very famous store. He insists he has created an image and must maintain it.

I nominate this statement for MARY! of the Month.

by Anonymousreply 4208/12/2012

Seconded, R42.

by Anonymousreply 4308/12/2012

And some of us are over 40 and don't have deep wrinkles you fucking whippersnapper!

by Anonymousreply 4408/12/2012

OP, I agree with you.

I'm over 40, and I stopped getting the blond "highlights" a few years ago. I stopped because I have a friend who is over 50 and he is still getting his hair dyed blond, and I realized that it made him look ridiculous.

by Anonymousreply 4508/12/2012

[quote]Caucasian men who can afford it choose what I call "Hamster Gold", a color that resembles what a dark blond man's hair looks like just before he turns silver.

Pic, please. I'd be interested in seeing an example if you have time.

by Anonymousreply 4608/12/2012

Twice a year this subject gets a thread. Unusually this time many of the early posters make sense.

The vast majority of male celebrities in their 40s and 50s do not have gray hair.

Why is that a problem here? Because most of the middle aged who post here are cheap and inclined to negativity. "I'm 42 and feel invisible..." Well, you're a sour tubby gray blob. Who wants to see you?

I'll be 50 in a few weeks. Still blonde due to going monthly to a hair salon for twelve years.

To each his own.

by Anonymousreply 4708/12/2012

[quote]I'll be 50 in a few weeks. Still blonde due to going monthly to a hair salon for twelve years.

Oh, honey. NO ONE is still naturally blond at 50. You're only embarrassing yourself with that shit.

by Anonymousreply 4808/13/2012

[quote]Men can pull it off and look younger way past 40. Men are still doing it in their 60's - look at Romney.

Romney looks his age. Yes, he looks *good* for his age, to the extent that I think he's had more than a bit of surgical "help" in his face (along with an excellent dye job that left his temples gray), but I know plenty of sixtysomething guys who look just as good. It's generally only guys who are somehow in poor health or weren't blessed with a thick mane of hair who look "old" at 65 or so.

by Anonymousreply 4908/13/2012

"Oh, honey. NO ONE is still naturally blond at 50."

Not bright blonde. Natural blond hair, like mine, tends to go from golden to mousy before it gets gray (which is why I said "fuck it" and went red). If anyone wants to convince anyone that their hair is still naturally blonde well into middle age, remember to use a very subtle color.

by Anonymousreply 5008/13/2012

R48, please post a photo of yourself. We're all dying to see what perfection looks like.

Yeah, thought so.

by Anonymousreply 5108/13/2012

"If Ron Reagan died his hair - and I'm not saying he did - that was just to confuse the Communists."

by Anonymousreply 5208/13/2012

Never could spell worth a damn.

by Anonymousreply 5308/13/2012

Travolta's problem isn't that he dyes his hair (badly). It's that he's actually dying his scalp to cover his near-total hair loss.

THAT is a look to avoid. He looks better when he wears one of his rugs.

by Anonymousreply 5508/13/2012

I'm 38 and dye my hair because it comes in like I'm a calico cat. Shot of orange, brown, black, gray, white, the full hair color spectrum. I don't know why it does this but it really looks horrible. One time I missed a couple of dye periods just to show some people what it would look like. I dye it jet black and I think it looks good. Especially with my blue eyes. My eyebrows are dark black so I figured that's what I should dye it.

If my hair was just black or brown with some gray I wouldn't give a fuck. But my natural hair color is just fucking hideous. I've been dying it since I left the Army in my late 20s. At least in the Army I had a really short buzz cut so it really wasn't noticeable.

by Anonymousreply 5608/13/2012

[quote] tends to go from golden to mousy before it gets gray (which is why I said "fuck it" and went red).

OH, honey, if you are indeed a man, you look like a old stoop whore.

by Anonymousreply 5708/13/2012

Can you imagine what the dolt who started this thread actually looks like, and all of her or his supporters?

What is it, a know-it-all fashion queen who think he's the authority on how everyone should look?

Some jealous intrusive frau who gives women a pass for this but doesn't want mean to do it?

Whatever it is, you know this OP is not a hot mess, but however it looks, is most likely a mess.

Here's a tip for you OP. "Over 40" is no magic standard for anything. Once you've actually left your house, you'll see that there are a lot of guys losing their hair and going grey in their 20s, whose skin already looks damaged and wrinkled in their 30s. And there are men over 40 who don't have grey hair, or at best have a little grey at the temples and sideburns, with plenty of guys younger who have more grey hair.

The fact that you don't know this basic point and have leveled your charge at men over 40 is just one indicator that you're one stupid and annoying creep.

It's a personal decision, and for many people of many ages, dyed hair, the clothes you wear, etc., look ridiculous to someone.

Surely you've been laughed at enough by people with taste to know this.

by Anonymousreply 5808/13/2012

R58, okay, how's this - ALL men who color their hair look like buffoons and clowns. That makes it easier for your sensitivities. ALL men.

by Anonymousreply 5908/13/2012

Well, R59, if you're not the OP, troll dar lights you up like someone else with an agenda.

Anyone who posts as much as you have about wanting nothing to do with guys who color their hair and how proud you are to be grey has issues.

If you're that confident, why do you give a shit?

And whether you will admit it or not, there are plenty of people, not just actors, who have colored their hair for a lot of reasons, not just to cover grey. And YOU have probably thought they were hot. Society doesn't agree with you, at least.

And if you're giving a pass to women, you're also a sexist moron. You should have said NO ONE should color their hair.

Idiot.

by Anonymousreply 6008/13/2012

I've made three comments, go to fucking hell!

by Anonymousreply 6108/13/2012

I think it's R58/R60 who "has an agenda," though I can't quite fathom through the miasma of --what is it-- gin and Benson & Hedges and poodle hair and hauteur and bitterness?

by Anonymousreply 6208/13/2012

I have a question -- my boss first showed up with medium gray and silver hair - not salt and pepper giving the impression of gray; then he had red hair for a while; then he had same medium gray hair with gold highlights - like he golded the silver hairs; then he became solid medium gray.

His medium gray is like that of gray cat - like a russian blue.

Can anyone tell me what is going on?

by Anonymousreply 6308/13/2012

R61, now we see why you're grey at 35.

And R62, troll-dar shows you just as charming.

My hair is blond and grey, and I don't color out the grey.

But you, your buddy at R61 and OP are perfect fodder to expose as obnoxious loons.

And the fact that you can't handle the criticism makes it more fun to knock you for it.

by Anonymousreply 6408/13/2012

I'm strawberry blond and near 50. About 5 yrs ago I started noticing a few grey hairs, but even now you'd have to look hard for them. It's going to take a long time before I'm noticeably grey. My beard has noticeable grey in it, but I can just shave that off.

by Anonymousreply 6508/13/2012

I'm 52, but dye my hair a dark blonde. The blonde shade helps me look fresh and vibrant. I let my hair go gray once and it was like I was invisible.

by Anonymousreply 6608/13/2012

It's like anything when you mess with your natural looks- you have to do it carefully and experts should do it. Lots of older and younger men look silly with their dyes- and I include the younger ones with cheap bleach jobs etc.

I don't do anything- thinning on the top and greying on the sides. I keep it short and I stay neat, clean and as fit as possible. That is my "vanity" regimen.

by Anonymousreply 6708/13/2012

I have never had to color my hair. I'm lucky, I guess. Or, maybe it's genes -- or even a healthy lifestyle. I'm not sure which, but I can't imagine what it must be like to have to color your hair. It must be daunting for those who do.

You see...I'm 58, but get confused for 19 all the time. I mean, all the time. And, that's because I eat healthy, I work out 7 days a week, I do not smoke or drink, I use Regenerist, Roc Deep Wrinkle Cream, I give myself deep chemical peels 3 times a day, I use L'OReal Sublime Bronze fake tanner, and I use SPF 85.

Just last night at the gym as a matter of fact, this kid came running up to me and asked which frat I belonged to because he thought he saw me at Rush Week last week up at Michigan State. I said, "Nah, brah, wasn't me."

When I was in the locker room, I was getting dressed after a nice steam in the sauna and shower, and my towel dropped revealing my tight, fakely tanned bod. A few of the older guys who were more than half my age, (guys in their 60's!) said to each other, "What's up with kids trimming and shaving off their pubes nowadays?"

It's evident my pubes haven't gone gray either. And, I don't think that day will come for a long, long time.

Peace.

by Anonymousreply 6908/13/2012

Jeff Daniels is 57 and quite blonde on The Newsroom. Most normal people would say he looks good and not like a "buffoon."

by Anonymousreply 7008/13/2012

[quote]No one has spotted my little subterfuge yet

How would you know? It's not like they would say anything to you.

by Anonymousreply 7108/13/2012

For men of a certain age, more important than dyeing your hair is staying in shape. A trim guy with some muscle tone and silver hair will look much better and more relevant than some portly man with dyed, highlighted hair.

by Anonymousreply 7208/13/2012

True, R71. I always think the same thing when someone says of their dick size, "I've never had any complaints!"

by Anonymousreply 7308/13/2012

I really don't get all the coloring mania for men. I think a man with gray or graying hair can look super-hot (my parter was graying when I met him, and he was only 28 at the time).

But he's got a full head of thick hair, and it looks great on him.

Baldness, on the other hand, is a deal-breaker for me. Genetically-driven hair loss is the bane of my family.

by Anonymousreply 7408/13/2012

I'm 62 with long thick dark brown hair! My mother is 82 and her hair is the same! When I walk down the street, is everybody going to think I dye my hair?

by Anonymousreply 7602/08/2013

I'm 58, and for some reason what's left of the hair on my head is the same brown that it has always been. But I did add some "just for men" color to my beard for a while, just to make it match the hair on my head. It looked good in the mirror, but I thought it looked too dark in my license photo, so I stopped using it out of fear that people could see it as a bad dye job. I like just being natural about everything, which is why I don't shave.

by Anonymousreply 7702/08/2013

some people grey very slowly but I haven't personally known anyone over 40 with zero grey hair. Maybe just a few here and there but there is always at least some.

I just know you can tell when a man has dyed his hair to look younger. It has the opposite effect usually, unless a bit of grey is left.

I agree with the poster who said, let yourself get grey and stay in shape much more attractive.

by Anonymousreply 7802/08/2013

I cant wait to go grey. I hope I go grey like my father did, a real sharp, silvery grey just at the temples.

by Anonymousreply 7902/08/2013

I'm about 1/3 white and wouldn't color my hair. Salt and pepper hair with a good cut and a fit body is a natural, masculine look and I like it. I certainly don't feel invisible.

by Anonymousreply 8002/08/2013

this is a related question to aging and grooming.

I think plastic surgery for men is feminizing but I wouldn't mind my neck being a little tighter and the beginnings of jowls reduced is there any merit to those "face excercises" and or products that help with this without looking silly?

by Anonymousreply 8102/08/2013

The only reason women are given a "pass" on this is because people think women shouldn't be allowed to look natural or show signs of age. I think it's a double standard that favors men, not women.

by Anonymousreply 8202/08/2013

Botox is another silly look, the shiny smooth foreheads on a 50 year old don't make them younger just stupid.

by Anonymousreply 8302/08/2013

How lame. Any time I see an odler guy with a dye job (even a good one!) I just think he's insecure and that's pathetic. Obsessing over your image is for insecure people. People in their 20's don't have much going for them (no real career yet, no stability) so I give them a pass for worrying so much about their image, but as you get older you're suppose to care less about how "pretty" you are because you've accomplished other things (such as a career or the stability you lacked in your 20's). Older guys who still worry that much over their looks just come off like people who never grew out of HS. That's why suicides in that group always have to do with aging.

Luckily, I come from a country where I wasn't told to fear age, in fact, with age came masculinity (not giving a fuck about the vapid opinions of others), so I don't fear getting old or going grey (which I will like all the males in my family).

I'm in my 20's now. I have a good body thank to my metabolism and attract guys all the time. I'd rather be older though. I know this one older gay. He's in his 40's, his looks have faded (and he's not having a meltodown over it), he has a great career, a stable home and is dating someone his age. I envy him and hope I follow his path.

Of course, there are exceptions to guys who color their hair (like the guy who naturally has multiple hair colors) but the rule is that those that care that much about how pretty they are, failed to grow up to be confident men who know a person's worth doesn't have to do with being "hot."

by Anonymousreply 8402/08/2013

[quote]Older men who color their hair should leave a little gray on the sides, otherwise they tend to look ridiculous.

Like this?

by Anonymousreply 8502/08/2013

Or like this?

by Anonymousreply 8602/08/2013

R84: STFU!

by Anonymousreply 8702/08/2013

This topic makes me immediately think of Dennis Quaid in that new CBS show Vegas. His dyed hair looks awful and frankly it makes his face look laughable. He'd be more believable with some gray hair.

by Anonymousreply 8802/08/2013

You can tell by reading R84's post when he turns 40, the denial-fest and cover-up is going to come back to bite him in the ass.

I only wish I were there to see it.

And for the record, R84, you ridiculous little twit, you think you can generalize about "most suicides" in that age group? Based on what, other than anecdotes you've read on the net....

Grow up, read, and think before you write.

by Anonymousreply 8902/08/2013

Love how R89 says I will become like him as a way of insulting me. :)

Here's a clue. Tons of gay men grow old without becoming insecure teen girls about it.

Now run along now. Don't you have an "image" to maintain? Or maybe you should write a book about how to be fabulous after 40?

by Anonymousreply 9002/08/2013

You sound like an idiot R84. Career? It's been twenty years since there has been a genuine career path for anyone. You're just too proletarian to see the reality yet.

by Anonymousreply 9102/08/2013

R84, I never said you'd become me or any secure older gay man -- you know, the ones you said you wish you were.

It's these two passages that are the giveaway Let's start with the obnoxious, know-it-all judgment in this one:

"How lame.... I just think he's insecure and that's pathetic. Obsessing over your image is for insecure people. People in their 20's don't have much going for them (no real career yet, no stability) so I give them a pass ..."

And move right along to your fantasy in the next one:

"I'm in my 20's now. I have a GOOD BODY thank [SIC] to my metabolism and ATTRACT GUYS ALL THE TIME. I'd rather be older though. I know this one older gay. He's in his 40's, his looks have faded (and he's not having a meltodown over it), he has a GREAT CAREER, a STABLE HOME and is dating someone his age. I ENVY HIM and hope I follow his path."

If you can't see how you are setting yourself up in the second for the judgment you are heaping on people in the first, karma will come back and dish out the same judgment you are heaping on other people.

Your final tired, pissy, snarky "run along now" bullshit is just a huge sign you are in for exactly the emotional ass-kicking I predicted before.

by Anonymousreply 9202/08/2013

The guy at R86's link would be handsome if he went bald and lost the come-over: pretty eyes and a good complexion.

by Anonymousreply 9302/08/2013

No R91, YOU sound like an idiot.

There's been no career path for anyone for 20years? WTF are you talking about?

The adults I know have careers. These careers bring them stability as they get older. It's the young ones who are just starting off who don't have stability in their chosen careers.

You're so insecure you refuse to grow the fuck up and act like a real man. You're way of defending yourself is by calling me "working class?"

You're a loser who thinks desperately holding on to the past and insulting others by calling them working class is an ideal way of living. Loser.

by Anonymousreply 9402/08/2013

R84 keep it up.

Anyone who accuses as many people of being insecure as you have is insufferable and probably more insecure.

As another gay man in his 20s, the only thing I think is if we have to live with assholes like you for decades the world is gonna suck.

Please fuck up and die.

by Anonymousreply 9502/08/2013

R84 are you kidding?

Telling R94 to grow the fuck up and act like a real man?

What kind of stupid little girl are you?

by Anonymousreply 9602/08/2013

In my opinion, after men and women start to gray they can not color their hair solid brown (even if it was their natural shade) without looking hard and unnatural. The only color that works with aging skin is blond. Look at Hillary Clinton. She's a natural brunette and looks fine at her age as a blond but not young. If she tried going back to her natural color she'd be a fright as does every older person who dyes their hair dark.

by Anonymousreply 9702/08/2013

R92, maybe I'd take you more seriously if you weren't lying already.

You did claim that when I get older I'd become an insecure gay man in denial.

And you disagree with me calling men who obsess over their image insecure? Why? Do you consider obsessing over your image to be healthy?

Then in the end you once again claim karma will get me and I'll become an insecure old man. You're so full of shit man. In one sentence you say you're not claiming I'll become a loser when I get older, and then you do in the next.

I'm from a different country. One where I was taught men don't turn into teen girls when they get older. In my country, older people are respected and admired. The ones that don't grow up are seen as jokes because they are just trying to prevent the aging process.

When I was 18, I was fucking hot. I had an 8 pack, perfect skin, could go out drinking til 4am and still look great when I woke up. Now in my late 20's, none of that longer applies. I no longer have a 6 pack, if I drink past midnight, I look and feel like shit the following day. I no longer can walk into a bar and have all eyes on me. And you know what? I'm great with that. When i was at my hottest, i was so fucking insecure. Always obsessing over my looks.

I may no longer be as hot as I was in college, but I'm also not as insecure. I have a stable job now that has allowed me to get a nice apartment. I can travel to Europe and pay my way instead of relying on a sugar daddy. Back when I was "hot" and "young" I could barely afford to wipe my ass, and I always felt my looks were the only thing going for me. I grew up and realized there are more important things than looking "hot."

by Anonymousreply 9802/08/2013

R96, one that isn't obsessed with looking "pretty."

by Anonymousreply 9902/08/2013

R84, you are correct that, despite your denials, I am calling out your growing insecurity revealed through your bitchy judgment of other people, and are well on the road to becoming worse in this regard.

Where you are confused is that I said you would not be like me.

Because you are so busy calling everyone else insecure old men -- eve when you don't know if we're close to your age or not -- you don't seem to grasp the distinction.

Bright, you are not.

by Anonymousreply 10002/08/2013

Wow you can just hear R84/R99 shrieking though his posts.

Who writes shit like this...."When I was 18, I was fucking hot. I had an 8 pack, perfect skin / Now in my late 20's, none of that longer applies. / I may no longer be as hot as I was in college, but I'm also not as insecure / I'm in my 20's now. I have a good body thank to my metabolism and attract guys all the time"

BOTTOM LINE: You are still obsessed with your looks. You are insecure.

Where's the queue to watch you fall apart in your 40s. It's gonna be a fucking show.

by Anonymousreply 10102/08/2013

R84 & R98 etc.

You now must post pics of you at 18 and "fucking hot" and your perfect skin and the "now" man-magnet you say you are.

If you don't, admit your insecurity and stop acting like a clown.

by Anonymousreply 10202/08/2013

R100, again with the lies.

When did I call everyone an insecure old man? I said older men who are still obsessed with looking pretty are insecure. I even said I admire and envy older gay men who are over trying to look hot and young and hip. Then you and some other poster started calling me names leading me to assume that you're an older man who is obsessed with looking pretty hence why you freaked out over me saying older men who are obsessed with looking pretty/young are insecure.

Also, please about me not being bright. I came from poverty in a 3rd world country and now I'm college educated, financially stable man in NYC. I went to one of the most expensive colleges in this country and have no debt because I received scholarships and the money I made from working menial jobs I saved instead of spending it on the latest high fashion like people who are insecure over their looks do.

But of course, continue making up BS about me in order to justify the fact that you're an idiot for thinking older men should act like insecure teen girls who are afraid others won't think they're pretty.

All the people here defending their need to look younger, it boils down to them protecting some sort of "image." They're afraid they'll be less desirable because they have grey hair, so they come up with these delusions to justify their quest to look young and hot.

You want to be considered "hot?" then gain some confidence. Confident older men shouldn't give a damn about grey hairs or being confused as being younger. That's what makes them hot. They grew up.

by Anonymousreply 10302/08/2013

R101, how am I still obsessed with my looks? Do you know how to read? English isn't my first language but I assume it's yours? Did you miss the part where I said, I'd rather be older, fatter and more secure in my life than when I was younger, hot and had no security?

Yes, r102. I'll post my pics. Nothing wrong has ever occurred from someone posting their pics online. Idiot.

I won't fall apart in my 40's like all you losers. Where I'm from being over 40 is a great thing. It's only in gay ghettos where people start killing themselves once they turn 40.

Unlike you, I'm not obsessed with you. I find older men (who age gracefully) to be sexy. I want to become one of them and be one of them, instead of another 40-something year old loser chasing after 20 year olds.

by Anonymousreply 10402/08/2013

R84 you are obsessed with your looks because you can't resist telling us attractive you are or were.

And calling everyone else losers makes you look like a child. Asking us if we can read English makes you a bigot, in ANY language.

by Anonymousreply 10502/08/2013

R105, I can't resit telling you? It is you guys who keep bringing it back up. I brought it up once. We're still talking about it because you guys keep bringing it up. Now just to clarify for you since you seem a little slow. I brought up how "hot" I was when younger to show how it means nothing. I said I was hot and miserable, and that now that I'm older (and uglier) I'm much happier than when I was at my "hottest."

Growing older means you will lose your looks. I already gave up trying to look "hot" because I found other things that bring me joy. I have a career, I have stability in my life, and many other things that I didn't have when I was young and hot. All of you are still obsessed with maintaining an "image" and looking younger as if that will make you happy.

And boohoo, I called you a loser you whiny hypocrite. You call me out for calling other people names but it's ok for everyone to call me names? You really are stupid.

Thank you all for proving my point that older men who refuse to age are total messes. Not only are you guys obsessed with looking hot, but now you're obsessed with me. You don't know me, what I look like, or what I do, yet you cling on to every word I say as if I'm God. :)

As for all the older gay men who are aging gracefully. Thank you even more for proving that being an old gay man doesn't mean being a loser. You can be old and sexy, but you can't be old and sexy if you're still acting like a teen girl.

by Anonymousreply 10602/08/2013

R106 (aka R84) who do you think you're calling out for caring about "our image" and "looks"?

Please do point to ONE post that has responded to you where ANY of us say we say looks are what matters when we age.

These "losers" you keep shrieking at are in your head. And you are one sanctimonious asshole.

by Anonymousreply 10702/08/2013

Wow, these posts are as tragic as the Facebook arguments between strangers over politics, religion and gay rights! No one changes anyone's mind. You are really just arguing into space. People insanely have to post such complex stuff here. Do you have no, you know, REAL LIFE friends? Who CARES if you color your fucking hair? A good dye job should not be obvious no matter WHAT age one is. And age is IRRELEVANT anyway. If a guy over forty, hell over sixty, had a great dye job, you would not KNOW it anyway.

by Anonymousreply 10802/08/2013

"Don't be defeatist. It so middle class."

This fiery debate comes up several times a year.

The vast majority of men in the public eye in their 30s, 40s and 50s do not have gray hair.

Professionally coloring one's hair is a standard convention in the modern age for middle aged men.

I believe that the outcry comes from those who also get cheap hair cuts, are out of shape and dress poorly.

Looking good is not "desperate" or a sign of "insecurity." Appearing vigorous and vital is not "trying to stay young."

Most of the posters here are disaffected gray blobs who've "settled into age" while still in their 30s.

"Aging gracefully" is a great idea for when you're getting "old"-- like 60. What's the rush?

To each his own.

by Anonymousreply 10902/08/2013

Wit and Wisdom for both r108 and r109!

by Anonymousreply 11002/08/2013

Nobody talks about Brad Pitt or Ryan Seacrest looking desperate because they color their hair, which they most certainly do. A hot guy with a good color job looks hot. End of discussion.

by Anonymousreply 11102/08/2013

First of all OP is totally ignorant ...maybe men over 60 look a bit silly with dyed hair that shows no grey but 40? Many guys in their 40s have no wrinkles st all, let alone "deep" ones (look at Jared Leto for example)

I'm in my mid 30s and have some grey which I get colored professionally, the colorist uses a natural light brown to match most of the rest of my hair, which colors the greys lighter so they look like natural highlights and actually looks better than it did when it was all the same shade of brown before I had no greys.

by Anonymousreply 11202/08/2013

Has anyone else noticed the recent coloring experiments of Howard Dean? It's gotten better but for a while his hair was a mess.

Useless without pics but I can't find one except on a winger site I won't link. Sorry.

by Anonymousreply 11302/08/2013

I agree with R84 and think that he has a healthy attitude.

by Anonymousreply 11402/08/2013

The problem when men decide to color their hair -- especially if they have dark hair -- is that they don't get it done right. I've seen way too many dark haired guys with horribly fake looking "shoe polish" dye jobs. If you're going to keep your hair dark, you need some subtle highlights to break up the color.

by Anonymousreply 11502/08/2013

[quote] The vast majority of men in the public eye in their 30s, 40s and 50s do not have gray hair.

Here's a recent photo from the swearing in of new ministers in the Australian Government.

7 men in the photo - 3 very clearly with grey hair, one with very little hair and 3 with hair that looks dark from the distance.

by Anonymousreply 11602/09/2013

There are pills that one can take that will stop the naturally occurring peroxide in ones system from developing. This will stop and eventually reverse your gray hair to it's lovely dishwater color of your youth.

by Anonymousreply 11702/09/2013

[quote]There are pills that one can take that will stop the naturally occurring peroxide in ones system from developing. This will stop and [bold]eventually reverse [/bold]your gray hair to it's lovely dishwater color of your youth.

Not necessarily true. There is a pill in development that will prevent hair from going gray but not reverse already gray hair.

[quote]If you’re already fighting those coarse gray strands, the pill won’t help. According to L'Oreal, patients will have to take it every day for at least 10 years [bold]before hair starts turning gray[/bold] and it will have to be taken for life — or until you decide to embrace the silver fox style.

And, the "Go Away Gray" stuff is a scam.

by Anonymousreply 11802/09/2013

Recently saw an episode of "Maude" where they had some flashbacks. Maude's hair was re-colored medium brown with just a bit of gray. She was supposed to be 4 years younger but looked ten years younger.

Van Johnson was a guest. His hair was a light color like when he was young. It looked okay on him. Had it been dyed dark brown or black like so many older men, it wouldn't have worked.

by Anonymousreply 11902/10/2013

I don't dye my hair, but I might go to a salon to have it done when I look for a new job down the line. I am worried about age discrimination. I don't think I'll get rid of all of the grey, but I will get rid of some of it.

by Anonymousreply 12002/10/2013

"Van Johnson was a guest. His hair was a light color like when he was young. It looked okay on him."

Oh yeah, it's MUCH easier to take the gray out of light hair than dark. Just a little tinting, a little attention to the roots, and your light hair looks the same as it always did. People with dark hair can't maintain the original color at all, and the gray roots are glaringly obvious.

It's one of those "life isn't fair" things.

by Anonymousreply 12102/10/2013

I stopped coloring my hair about 5 months ago. I can't cut it short enough yet to get all the dyed hair out, but I have been getting a very positive reaction to all the gray. It's very freeing to not worry about it anymore. I don't have much in the back, but the top and sides are about 90 % silver. Hell, I'm 45 now, might as well embrace it.

by Anonymousreply 12204/21/2013

I waited YEARS to have gray hair! I think I look better this way.

by Anonymousreply 12304/21/2013

You 'dye' fabric, you 'color' hair!

by Anonymousreply 12404/21/2013

Other things men over 40 shouldn't do:

Wear A&F, Aeropostale, or anything from a department store's section geared toward men 18 - 34

Try and pull off hairstyles that look ridiculous on Justin Bieber (even if he popularized them)

Wear flip flops

by Anonymousreply 12604/21/2013

Most guys who do this look bad because (a) they do it at home/out of a bottle, and (b) they overdo it.

It's like Botox. One wants to look refreshed, not alarmed.

by Anonymousreply 12704/21/2013

I agree about the clothing, R126, but why flip flops? I never could stand wearing them myself - prefer Sanuks - but I don't get the hate for flip flops.

by Anonymousreply 12804/21/2013

I can't believe - over 100 replies and no one's brought up Robert Redford.

He is in his seventies and is still dying his hair. Really, REALLY bad dye job that looks unnatural, as if a possum sat on his head and died.

by Anonymousreply 12904/21/2013

here's a tip: if you color your hair at home, choose a color that is one shade lighter than your natural color. Then, first color the sideburns and roots ONLY. leave this for 90% of the allotted time. Then, and only then, comb the color through the rest of your hair. You will end up with a natural looking color.

by Anonymousreply 13004/21/2013

Have you tried hitting his head with a stick, R129?

by Anonymousreply 13104/21/2013

OP is someone who needs to hear your voice before getting down on his knees to suck off your dick and swallow your load. The logical disconnect there will be completely lost on him, though.

by Anonymousreply 13204/21/2013

Redford fixed that on his recent press tour. It looks way better

by Anonymousreply 13304/21/2013

Women, Actors, and Gay men color their hair.

by Anonymousreply 13404/21/2013

Nah, r134. I was a corporate shill for a while, and all the upper management guys had the same terrible DIY dye job. It even had a name. We called it the [Company Name] Dip.

by Anonymousreply 13504/21/2013

Men look hot with gray/white hair. I think women look best when they maintain their natural color (keep dying it, not letting it go grey/white). I find grey hair, particularly "salt and pepper" hair on women extremely unattractive. It just looks dirty/unkempt to me, like that women from the Restasis commercial.

by Anonymousreply 13604/21/2013

One thing I don't get is guys that color their hair to remove the grey and then grow facial hair with a bunch of grey in it, and on top of it usually the color of the facial hair that's not grey doesn't even match the head hair color. Racheal Zoes husband on her show does this and I'm like wtf this woman is a renowned stylist and she doesn't tell him how ridiculous this looks?

by Anonymousreply 13704/21/2013

It's the really dark colors - like jet black - that don't look good on older people (men OR women), even with a little bit of grey left in.

by Anonymousreply 13804/21/2013

most colors don't look good at ALL

by Anonymousreply 13904/21/2013

[quote]My hair is long, and I only have to deal with the roots in front.

ix-nay. the WHOLE thing is wrong wrong wrong

by Anonymousreply 14104/22/2013

Dan Abrams' blonde looks strangely good.

by Anonymousreply 14204/22/2013

BUMP

by Anonymousreply 14311/27/2013

[quote]If I get the lightest blonde hair color and leave it on for a long time will it bleach my hair out to white??

No, just lighter red or possibly blonde. If you want to make hair look white, you will need a lightening kit AKA bleach. Naturally red hair is particularly difficult to lighten, so it may take more than one attempt.

by Anonymousreply 14512/06/2013

Another no no is earrings on men over 40. They look stupid.

by Anonymousreply 14612/06/2013

I think grey hair is sexy and am actually looking forward to when that happens to me. No way am I going to color it.

by Anonymousreply 14712/06/2013

I agree (R146) Harrison Ford's earring makes him look terrible

by Anonymousreply 14812/06/2013

I also color my mustache and goatee a bit, to address the fact that the gray that's there is all sort of on one side of my face and it looks weird. Until it naturally comes in a little more symmetrically, I take a little off the one side so it's more or less equal, and use a color about two shades lighter than the darkest of the natural colors (I've got dark brown, light brown, and gray), so it doesn't look like shoe polish.

by Anonymousreply 14912/06/2013

I don't mind died hair (as long as it's not died too dark, ie: black), as long as the facial hair is not left gray. I work with a man that has jet black hair on his head (an obvious bottle-job) and almost totally gray mustache and goatee. It looks silly.

by Anonymousreply 15012/06/2013

It's a conundrum. Grey hair does age a person. There's no use denying that. But a lot of dye jobs are not flattering to the skin. Once the hair turns grey the skin color must change a bit too and you can't go back to your natural brown color without looking weird and unhealthy. However, women seem to be able to go blond just fine no matter what their natural color was.

Even if you color your hair brown for a while and it looks okay it won't be long before the dye looks too unnatural.

by Anonymousreply 15212/06/2013

I love silver foxes. Esp. guys whose hair is already all grey around 30. And even more when they come with blue or grey eyes.

I'm sure John Travolta use his hair as a diversion: my playmobil hair looks so out of touch that I could not possibly be gay, right? Right?

by Anonymousreply 15312/06/2013

The biggest issue I have is guys who dye their hair but not their beards. Sable brown hair on top of a snow white beard..... If you are going to dye one, dye the other. I used to touch up my beard twice per week as it had much more white than my hair.

If you are going to leave the beard natural, leave your hair natural too please.

by Anonymousreply 15412/06/2013

I'm 56 and I have a headful of black hair with just a few white hairs showing up. Does genetics play the major role in determining when you go gray?

by Anonymousreply 15512/06/2013

Lighten your hair so there isn't as much contrast with the gray.Also only leave the color on for 10 minutes, then you don't get a uniform color like Travolta

by Anonymousreply 15612/06/2013

I'm going to my grave with a shock of titian hair!

by Anonymousreply 15712/06/2013

Obviously dyed hair looks bad on women AND men. And so many older women go for that peculiar brassy red, which is always hideous.

I'm 57 and have a lot of grey hair, and so far I just don't give a shit.

I hate dyed old lady hair.

by Anonymousreply 15812/06/2013

My partner's mother bleaches her gray hair, and thinks that it is blonde. It is white. I soooo want to tell her that she can't bleach gray, but I don't want to hurt her feelings, and she is too cheap to see a professional hairstylist. She buys the 'frost' kit at Walgreens and does it herself. It ages her.

by Anonymousreply 15912/06/2013

Why do so many middle-aged people even care whether they're still attractive or not? I always presumed that in this phase of your life you'd have more urgent and interesting things on your mind. I think the obsession with eternal youth and beauty has increased ever since the babyboomers started to age and it's getting worse with each generation. Can you imagine how it will be like when the Millenials hit their 40s? Plastic surgeons will become the new Rockefellers.

by Anonymousreply 16012/06/2013

"Does genetics play the major role in determining when you go gray?"

Genetics are the only thing that determines when you go gray.

by Anonymousreply 16112/06/2013

I'm 45 and I dye my hair.

On me it looks absolutely fantastic. I'm not a trim 6-pack 20yo, and I even have a little chubby fat. But my hairdresser is amazing, he colors and cuts my hair like no one else, this guy could work wonders on Hollywood actors, but he chooses to help out regular Joes instead.

I've noticed that people are wondering what I've done to myself, they can't quite place it, have you lost weight? You look so much younger, waow..you haven't aged a bit etc. Some do spot that I've colored my hair, it's those at work who see me on a regular basis, but no one else can tell really.

The trick is - a really experienced hairdresser! Plus, you should never dye your hair with other than your original color, and absolutely NOT if your hair is totally white because then everyone will notice and it'll probably just be tacky.

And it's expensive too, because you got to keep it up, it takes maintenance and money, miss a cut...and everyone will know.

I look at my older pictures from when I was younger, it really is a perfect match, I'm one of those lucky that doesn't have any wrinkles in my face yet. When that time come, I may choose to just let go, but I'm certainly going to try to cheat inevitability as long as I can get away with it.

Those who are complaining about age discrimination is absolutely right, we live in a very shallow society, besides...it tells something about that person, the life, the want, the vigor.

When I didn't dye my hair, I looked worn and grey, and people talk with me for 5 minutes tops, when I started to "look younger", people wouldn't even let me go. I got a LOT more work assignments than before.

But the opposite is also true, beware of the fact you'll lose a few privileges if you pull it off as well as I do, for example - people don't treat you with the elderly dignity that you'd normally get, such as people holding doors open for you, walking off the sidewalk for you, you just get treated the way anyone else will be treated. I prefer that!

by Anonymousreply 16211/17/2014

ugh, idiot du jour

by Anonymousreply 16311/17/2014

R162 was written by Crlairol. Circa 1978.

by Anonymousreply 16411/17/2014

I don't agree with the first comment. If you are male and colour your hair with the right colour it does make you look and feel younger. Some men look good with the darker colours, if their skin tones are darker and go with it. But I have learned that as one gets older our skin tones change and usually lighter colours go good with them. I had medium brown hair and coloured my hair since I was in my 20's when it started turning grey. As I got older I changed the colour to a lighter shade of brown and eventually I tried blonde and it looked natural and good. I am 67 and still a blonde and everyone thinks I am way younger. I am debating now whether to let my hair go grey as it would be a light grey shade, but will probably not go through with letting it go grey as for some reason it makes me feel older. I still feel that grey hair makes most men look older.

by Anonymousreply 16511/23/2014

The only thing that goes through my head when I see an older guy with a dye job is "That's sad that he feels the need to cover up who he really is". It shows a lack of confidence, which is a major turn-off. And 90% of the dye jobs look terrible. You are not fooling anyone. And besides that, grey hair can look really attractive, especially if it is not allowed to get too long. Long grey hair looks kinda "witchy" and should be avoided at all costs.

by Anonymousreply 16611/23/2014

The trick to a good dye job is really obvious and yet so few men get it - leave the sides grey. Not just a strip at the temples and the rest is jet black like Romney, but get a colorist who can blend the sides in and use a dye that makes the grey hair on top a little lighter than your natural color

That way you look your age - no 60 year old man has zero grey hair - but you don't look like an old man.

by Anonymousreply 16711/23/2014

My gym crush, Hot Dad, is going grey. Just at the temples a little. Although he started growing his beard earlier this year and it was coming in all grey, so he shaved it. He's 47 and sexy as hell. No doubt he would still be good looking if he dyed it, but something about him just "owning" that look instead of fighting it makes him more attractive to me.

by Anonymousreply 16811/23/2014

Just saw Tony Danza on Broadway in Honeymoon in Vegas. Horrible show but he is in incredible shape except for the that awful head of dyed hair which looks vaguely burnt sienna under stage lights.

He's not playing an ingénue....why does he do that??

by Anonymousreply 16911/23/2014

Actually, dyed hair doesn't look great on most people, men or women.

by Anonymousreply 17011/23/2014

I agree

by Anonymousreply 17111/23/2014

I like skinny old chain smoking rockers who dye their hair jet black. No, it's not natural, but it looks cool.

by Anonymousreply 17211/23/2014

Dye jobs make hair look one flat uniform color with no fine variations of texture. It's very unattractive.

by Anonymousreply 17311/23/2014

"Why do so many middle-aged people even care whether they're still attractive or not? I always presumed that in this phase of your life you'd have more urgent and interesting things on your mind. "

Why should anyone feel obligated to stop caring about looking attractive at any age? The person who wrote this has a lot of sadness ahead if this perception remains unchanged.

R120 (pretty sure that was the one) brought up a real and unavoidable factor - ageism in the work marketplace.

A female friend with a great resume was laid off at 59. While collecting unemployment she went to a required career counseling class. The main message presented was to hedge on showing your exact age, both in resume language and personal appearance. Everyone was advised to do all they could to make themselves look younger - starting with coloring one's hair. Men and women were included in this advice.

That female friend was attractive, engaging and very youthful in many ways and she looked her age. It wasn't poor self-esteem or wanting to be young again that pressured her - it was the cultural pressure. A lot of normal average people of a certain age are pressured to color their hair in the hopes of having an income. It's awful, but it's a reality for many.

by Anonymousreply 17411/23/2014

I agree that to make colored hair look natural you need to have it done by a professional colorist who is very skilled. It costs, needs to be maintained consistently, and good colorists are not necessarily found at every hair salon.

by Anonymousreply 17511/23/2014

That's a BAD dye job R173

A good dye job has lots of variations of color. Men should let the temples go grey so that it looks natural

by Anonymousreply 17611/23/2014

"dyed hair doesn't look great on most people, men or women. "

At a certain age, the question isn't whether a dye job looks great, but whether it looks better than your graying, gray, or white hair.

I'm graying badly. I still have plenty of hair, but the color is fading from natural ash blond to a dreadful sort of mouse-and-beige. A little subtle, natural-looking color saves me from being completely and utterly drab.

by Anonymousreply 17711/23/2014

If you want to have a look at how tragic a middle aged man with colored hair looks, just take a peek at Aaron Sorkin.

by Anonymousreply 17812/19/2014

A few minor points:

Yes, as we age generally it is better to go with lighter shades than sticking to whatever shade one was at 18 or so.

Nothing says home bottle dye job faster than a hairline that makes one look like Eddie Munster. This goes for women and men but especially for anyone with a thin or sparse hairline. Remember Martin Crane when he dyed his hair for one of Frasier's parties?

Most professional hair color lines for men are not as heavy on pigment load as those aimed for women. The goal is normally just to blend the gray and or create subtle highlights. The overall affect is more that "something was done", but no one can put their finger on exactly what. This as opposed to Gustav von Aschenbach from Death in Venice

by Anonymousreply 17912/20/2014

We always want what we can't have

by Anonymousreply 18006/30/2015

It depends on how young your face is. I'm almost 40 but everyone thinks I'm around 27-30 because I have a baby face. So if I was graying, which I'm not, then I could get away with coloring my hair well into my 60s.

However, some people look far too old in the face to be coloring their hair.

My problem will not be graying. I won't get gray hair. I'm extremely fair haired so my hair will turn white.

by Anonymousreply 18106/30/2015

disgusting

by Anonymousreply 18206/30/2015

R181 Ageless Princess Mary!

by Anonymousreply 18306/30/2015

[quote]I'm almost 40 but everyone thinks I'm around 27-30 because I have a baby face.

Some people say the kindest things.

by Anonymousreply 18406/30/2015

Do you lunch at the Plaza and ski in St. Moritz? Or do you just look like you do?

by Anonymousreply 18506/30/2015
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