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True Blood 7/22

"If they called us love groups instead of hate groups no one would join."

by It's on bitchesreply 4707/25/2013

Seriously? And old standard-def tube TV? And video tape?

Talk about back-woods.

by It's on bitchesreply 107/22/2012

Tara's mom! In a vamp bar! With Tara stripping! Pam with fierce hair!

by It's on bitchesreply 207/22/2012

Loved Eric carrying Bill down Bourbon Street

by It's on bitchesreply 307/22/2012

Full frontal naked woman rising from pool of blood....

1) Cheesiest effect ever on the show

2) They seriously owe us some full frontal male nudity now

by It's on bitchesreply 407/22/2012

GODRICK!!!!!

by It's on bitchesreply 507/22/2012

What did I just watch - I'm not grasping anything with Russell, Eric, Lafayette, Terry, etc. Godric? Lilith and her bush?

When/why did Jessica get a mansion with security?

by It's on bitchesreply 607/22/2012

OMG - What the hell.... it just took a bad turn.

That was absolutely ridiculous.

by It's on bitchesreply 807/22/2012

Jumped.

The.

Shark.

by It's on bitchesreply 907/22/2012

I recorded the episode and fast forwarded through it, trying to pick any interesting story lines to watch. I am increasingly disappointed in the show. I was hoping for Russell's return to be mind blowing.

by It's on bitchesreply 1007/22/2012

Does Tara look angry and clench her jaw?

by It's on bitchesreply 1107/22/2012

R6, it's Bill's King of Louisiana mansion and guards. My BF had the same question.

by It's on bitchesreply 1207/22/2012

Are some of you bitches not paying attention?

Lilith: she's the vampire equivalent of Jesus, and the freaky bitches on the Vampire Council think she's just been reincarnated. Russell is playing along with this bullshit, and for reasons unknown all of these wise old vampires that are thousands of years old are buying it. All the vamps ended up on Bourbon Street tripping on something -- could just be plain old vamp blood that, like wine (Christ's blood), ferments after a certain amount of time and turns into a hallucinogen. Eric had a vision, while tripping, of Godric, telling him that what they were all doing -- buying the Lilith bullshit -- was wrong, and that his "sister" couldn't be convinced to see it.

Terry: not much to tell. The smoke monster is a stupid subplot, and you may as well ignore it.

Lafayette: his lover Jesus's spirit is fucking around with everyone, including Lafayette, Jesus's father, and now his stepmother, who just killed him as he was about to slice open Lafayette's skull.

Unexpected surprises: the New Orleans location shoot (!! - they've only filmed on location in Louisiana one other time in the show's history) and the fact that Meloni's character is, as they'd say on the show, true-dead.

by It's on bitchesreply 1307/23/2012

I fast forwarded waiting for Meloni to come back. I loved Alan Ball's SIX FEET UNDER and haven't really been any kind of regular viewer of TRUE BLOOD.

I think he's a genuis for casting hunks like Joe M. and Christopher Meloni, but dear God, I can't begin to get into the story.

It's hard to take death seriously when some people come back, others don't. I'm sure if I paid more attention I'd be able to talk about this better.

I'd like to see Chris M. go back to L&O: SVU.

by It's on bitchesreply 1407/23/2012

The last thing I wanted to see this weekend was a giant bloody massacre in a public place treated like it was cool.

The show has jumped the shark.

by It's on bitchesreply 1507/23/2012

R15: How now brown frau?

by It's on bitchesreply 1607/23/2012

This season has really lost me.

by It's on bitchesreply 1707/23/2012

I'm done with this show. Things are just stupid now.

by It's on bitchesreply 1807/23/2012

How come the guy who plays Claude isn't in the credits anywhere?

by It's on bitchesreply 1907/23/2012

Well from the way Edgington was acting with the former reverend turned vamp, I guess we know who his next boyfriend is going to be.

Regarding #15's statement; the massacre turned me off as well, especially the closeup drinking of the little boy by Edgington. Not. Cool. Ball.

by It's on bitchesreply 2007/23/2012

Tara's mom is now on THE NEWSROOM.

by It's on bitchesreply 2107/23/2012

Heather Lee, the woman at the party who recognized Dennis O'Hare's character, played one of the strippers in GYPSY. The revival with Bernadette Peters.

by It's on bitchesreply 2207/23/2012

Why was the little boy in that bar in the first place? There are way too many story lines this season for any of them to be really gripping. Did I miss the part where Salome explained why she needed Russell?

by It's on bitchesreply 2307/23/2012

This episode went too far for me- the violence was more than I could take. The scene of Russell and that kid was over the edge. After years of watching this show that might have done it for me.

by It's on bitchesreply 2407/23/2012

R20 Were you paying attention at all? Or watching with your eyes closed? The kid was being drunk by the vampire with the burned face who was accused(and admitted to) drinking babies in an earlier episode.

R23 The kid was at the bar because it was a wedding reception and he was with his family.

by It's on bitchesreply 2507/23/2012

They have totally bungled Russell's return with the needlessly confusing Authority story line. Everyone's motives are completely impenetrable, and very little seems to be at stake (no pun intended).

Is Terry's smoke monster supposed to be just like the one on "Lost"? It was even making those same rattling noises. Dumb plotline, though I do really like the actress who plays Arlene so at least they're giving her something to work with.

I also don't buy Hoyt's sudden transformation into enthusiastic hate group recruit. I know he's going through a tough time but it seems to go against the character's core.

I am a longtime defender of this show - thought seasons 2, 3 and 4 were all pretty great - but this one is a dud so far. Now they're teasing us about the vampire-human war, so why do I have a feeling it's not going to happen?

by It's on bitchesreply 2607/23/2012

Jessica Clark aka Lilth is actually a friend of mine. She is gay, married to a trainer Lacey Stone. I hope this role helps her career. She is openly gay and always advocates gay issues.

by It's on bitchesreply 2707/23/2012

[bold]True Blood gets high and does Vampire Karaoke, but with naked ladies and blood[/bold]

What the hell was that? No, really — what the heck is going on with True Blood? After half the cast got high and started giving each other piggyback rides, I had to just throw my hands in the air and say "Fuck it!" Put the werewolf in board shorts for some barnyard calisthenics — because this is True Blood town, where your logic is shot in the head (just like the characters). There's no reasoning with it anymore, this series is just pure insanity. At least Steve Newlin is back, for reasons. But let me break it down Pro/Con style shall we?

Spoilers ahead...

Con: Meloni is dead. What a waste. What a terrible, terrible waste. I know many of you pointed out that on IMDB or something he was noted for additional episodes, we can only assume that these are flashbacks. And as Russell would say, flashbacks are for pussies. I want real-time Vampire Meloni. In a show that has more useless characters than Luna has lives, letting Meloni go so early on — and when he was just about out of Vampire Bible mumbojumbo to spit out — well, it's a damn shame.

Con: Also ruined with Meloni's death, the beautiful pair of Vampire Golf Pants Meloni's sweet ham shanks made dance.

Con: So Meloni is dead, and instead we get Vampire Night Vision. So the prisoner has escaped, and is captured again with a net, as you can plainly see. But is then set free? I don't understand this coup. There are clearly other members that do not believe in the Sanguinista movement — why don't they take the place? Russell is clearly subdued, so their best weapon is down... why do they let him out?

Pro: During the Vampire Night Vision skirmish, Eric was stapled to the wall. Important.

Pro: This was all under 2 minutes. TRUE BLOOD!

Pro: "We're testing her luminescence." "I'm going to send my light through her and if the fae in her is strong." Ha! Fae CSI. I guess if we must keep beating this old fae plot line, I'm happy they can pepper it with lines like these, while the actors wave their hands about.

Pro: Jason is killing it in this scene: "Let's just plug her in and charge her up." Yes. Lets.

Pro: "TMI Coroner Spencer," you said it, Kevin. TMI.

Pro: Hoyt's eyeliner is still all over his face. Aw. And another Pro for joining a hate group with someone named Dragon. Oh dear me. Count down until they kidnap Jessica and Hoyt has to make the decision: his old love, or the new love of Dragon.

Con: Molly, Eric and Bill are in Vampire Jail? Then why does Molly get a computer? Or if she's not in jail, why would she be allowed to type on her computer outside of the prisoner's jail cell? I don't... understand.

Pro: Surprise: Russell is a Lilith thumper now.

Pro: Eric immediately tells Nora to go fuck herself. Ha! There's actually lots of great swearing in this scene. Bill even gets in on the act a little. "Bullshit, you can't play the grieving widow and the leader of the coup!" And finally "Bible-Banging Cunts!" Good job everyone!

Con: The night Bill and Eric buried Russell, Nora followed them to the construction site — so that's how she knows. The end.

Pro: I don't for a second believe this born-again bullshit from Russell.

Pro: Werewolf training montage. I don't know what is more ridiculous: Alcide's bandanna (Hey Alcide!) or Alcide's bandanna.

Pro: This is how I just naturally walk around.

Pro: Oh dear me, I love this totally hokey completely adorable wedding video. Who else wishes we could have seen this for real? We need more happiness on this show — and not like "I just banged my Vampire Brother" happy, legit emotion. This video is truly sweet and not just because it has adorable vintage Hoyt and Jessica along with Jesus and Lala (pre gross Jesus stitched lips corpse head) but because it shows the reasons we started caring about this town, the wacky, lovable people! And no Tara!

Con: True Blood wanted us to know that the Sheriff cheats on his wife. Don't you all feel better because of this?

(continued)

by It's on bitchesreply 2807/23/2012

Con/Pro: Although the actress who plays Tara is an insanely beautiful girl and looked like Danger Sex Magic in that leather... um bathing suit... bikini? Anyway, she looked great and she was totally doing her little vampire strip show very well. However, did anyone else feel weird watching this? Perhaps I didn't want Tara to find her inner strength on the pole? Or maybe it was the music? Something just didn't quite match up here. Thankfully after this scene, shit finally got real for this character.

PRO: OH MY GOD THE CRIMPED HAIR! I die.

Pro: Tara's Mom shows up to remind everyone that she's a genuinely garbage person with garbage for brains and garbage for a soul. But that's OK, because we already knew that about her. But what we learned was that Tara has now cracked opened the pink lacquered heart of Pam. And there was a glorious hug. If anyone can elevate Tara's path, it's gotta be Pam. And sweet Jesus with a curling iron, that hair is amazing!

Con: ANOTHER RELIGIOUS VAMPIRE CEREMONY.

Con: Christopher Heyerdahl, most likely for questioning the amount of Religious Vampire Ceremonies per episode. I will miss you Heyerdah and your melodious barritone. If there was a wise old turtle in the cartoon re-teling of Rudyard Kipling's Rikki-Tikki-Tavi he would have your voice, sir.

Con: So everyone drinks Lilith's blood and they get really high and walk around New Orleans. Newly discovered fact: Watching vampires get stoned is just as exciting as watching your neighbors get stoned and spend three hours looking for their keys. (Another fact: the keys are always in their pocket.)

Pro: Oh, and Rev. Steve Newlin is back now. So that's good, we missed him. I can understand his character's motivations: He's a chameleon when it comes to power, so this makes sense. I just wish we'd maybe been privy to how this changeover of power happened.

Pro: But out of the whole stoned vampire mess came this one, truly beautiful moment. Eric gave Bill a piggyback ride

Pro: Oh so while all this other crazy stuff has been happening, Lala went to (a place I forget) to save Jesus' soul form the evil magic man. Which means, we had to be subjected to this horror. Not only is Jesus' dead head stuck on a microwave, with his lips sewn together — but Lala gets jumped, and the same horrific shit happens to him. Only to be sliced open slowly...so slowly thread by thread. Revolting. I guess this was how season five one-ups the whole UTI-inducing dirt sex scene between Bill and Sooks.

Pro: Karaoke with Russell, you can't even put a price on it.

Pro: So the gang of high vampires descend on this bar full of people, to eat them. Okay, sure — why not? Is anyone else getting the distinct feeling we're all just watching an elaborate writing exercise? Do you think Ball just shows up into the writers room with a beret full of various locations and actions and makes everyone pick from the hat? "Ok we've got a... REHEARSAL DINNER....at a.....KARAOKE CLUB.....in.... NEW ORLEANS......and they..... ALL DIE.... noooow go!" But then again, Russell Karaoke, so.

Con: Sookie has a flashback of something we saw 45 minutes ago.

Pro: Jessica bites Jason, Jason SHOOTS HER IN THE HEAD. I run around the apartment screaming.

Pro: Lilith shows up, coughs up red chalk on Nora, I'm still screaming.

Pro: Baby-faced Godric shows up, and now there are officially one million people in this episode.

THE END. I don't even know what to say, it's just total lunacy. I didn't even write about the laughing Ifrit in this one, because there was too much, and that "suicide is for Muslims" line should be taken into the shed and beat with a belt. Until next week, may all your "You Light Up My Life" karaoke jams be met with a super hot naked lady covered in blood and Casper.

by It's on bitchesreply 2907/23/2012

If Tara and Pam don't fuck this season I quit this bitch!

by It's on bitchesreply 3007/23/2012

[quote]Pro: Jessica bites Jason, Jason SHOOTS HER IN THE HEAD. I run around the apartment screaming.

Pro: Lilith shows up, coughs up red chalk on Nora, I'm still screaming.

Pro: Baby-faced Godric shows up, and now there are officially one million people in this episode.

Love that!

by It's on bitchesreply 3107/23/2012

Hurrah for naked Jessica Clark!

Thanks R27...that helped make the show better for me.

by It's on bitchesreply 3207/24/2012

Give Pam her own spin-off! Preferably running a hair salon.

by It's on bitchesreply 3407/24/2012

So little of Pam this season

by It's on bitchesreply 3507/24/2012

Well, at least the gays got the extra who was Jessica's snack.

I was quite underwhelmed by the not so special effects of the Lilith appearance, was it deliberately so silly, because all the vampires just imagined it and it isn't real?

I always imagined vampires to be smarter than falling for superstition and religious myths since they live hundreds of years and see all these cults and beliefs come and go. The Authority and the Lillith faith is kind of a buzzkill to me.

The scene with the taxi driver was great and there were a couple of other scenes (like the cheesy wedding video) that were nice, but all in all it wasn't an episode I liked.

All Sookie needs to do is drain her power and she's no longer a fairy? Couldn't Ball come up with a boot camp that promises to turn self loathing creatures into normal human beings?

I love the characters but quite frankly I don't like where the show is heading with them. It's almost like the show is imploding right in front of my eyes.

by It's on bitchesreply 3607/24/2012

R33...shut up homophobe! All this eldergay bullshit is homophobia. ENOUGH!

by It's on bitchesreply 3707/24/2012

OMG, the eldergay troll has taken over the DL. Almost all the threads are infected.

by It's on bitchesreply 3807/24/2012

Why would there be a vampire with permanent burn victim face?

by It's on bitchesreply 3907/24/2012

I loved the episode. I thought it was great. But then again, I pay attention, don't fast forward through an episode and then claim "I watched it."

Also, I would pay top dollar to suck the Meloni tits a few of you keep on mocking.

by It's on bitchesreply 4107/24/2012

R39, a vampire could have permanent burns on his face if he were scarred prior to becoming a vamp. He would only heal from things that occurred after he was 'turned'.

by It's on bitchesreply 4207/24/2012

I'd much rather be an eldergay than a LOLcat, r43.

by It's on bitchesreply 4407/24/2012

R40= 55 years old. It's pretty clear that the "eldergay" troll is at least that old. Fuck off and die troll.

by It's on bitchesreply 4507/27/2012

What happened to the TB Season 6 thread? "Thread does not exist." WTF?!

Oh HELLZ no, hooka!

by It's on bitchesreply 4607/25/2013

Could be a glitch, LaLa. I've seen threads mysteriously disappear and then somehow magically reappear before. DL is very Bon Temps that way.

by It's on bitchesreply 4707/25/2013
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