Here is Lainey's latest entry. She's practically foaming at the mouth in defense of her number one favorite actress, Kristen Stewart )who is HETEROSEXUAL AND HAVING HETEROSEXUAL SEX WITH HER HETEROSEXUAL BOYFRIEND. Remember that!) She's INSANE (and probably paid to write this garbage).
Need some comic relief this Monday morning? You can thank Ashley Greene for it. This item appeared in the NY Post yesterday. Iâve decided to include the entire article for maximum amusement:
Greene is really about to be the color of money. For the past four years, âTwilightâ siren Kristen Stewart needed a garlic necklace of her own to avoid the immense amount of press requests and fashion houses longing to pin her face to their hot campaigns. Now the quiet bloodsucker in the background, Ashley Greene, is getting top billing. Sheâs currently gracing the cover of Cosmopolitanâs âHot Issueâ after landing on the front of Lucky, Womenâs Health and a handful of other titles. â[Stewart] is no longer the poster girl for âTwilight.â The industry has fallen in love with Greene, who is being hunted down by producers for several upcoming roles,â an insider says. Greene is about to really cash in with three new films including the much-buzzed âCBGB,â on the New York punk scene and the venerable club. Execs at major fashion houses are drooling over her upcoming fall DKNY Jeans campaign. âPrada is one of many ready to pony up far more than the standard $20 million payday to land [Greene],â our source said. And all this before the last installment of "Twilight" hits theaters in mid-November.--
Joseph Barracato was the poor writer assigned to that story. I wonder if he didnât have to self-medicate to get through it. For the entertainment reporter there are those days - and I know them well - when you have to fight the urge to say to your editor/producer âPlease, God, no, do I have to?â Then you close your eyes and accept your fate. No one will remember, right? No one will blame me, right?
No, Joseph, we donât blame you.
We blame no one.
Because this sh-t, this sh-t is FUNNY.
Ashley Greene is about to dethrone Kristen Stewart??? The same Kristen Stewart who just won the box office this summer with a non-Twilight film and is about to claim yet another mega money franchise all while somehow maintaining her small movie credibility - that Kristen Stewart? Kristen Stewart can get any meeting she wants to in Hollywood, no problem. Ashley Greene couldnât f-ck her way into most meetings, let alone the kind of meetings Stewart takes, and does, but only discriminately. Kristen Stewart doesnât have to stop eating.
I know there are those of you who arenât enamoured with Stewart. Fine. I get that. But like her or not, you are also not an idiot. You know that right now, by the Hollywood grading system, it doesnât get higher than Kristen Stewart. She currently lives in the penthouse with Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence. No doubt you find both of them more agreeable.
In other words, this mentally unstable New York Post article is trying to tell you that Ashley Greene, a third tier Twilight cast member who âdatedâ a Jonas Vagina Virgin, is synonymous with Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence.