How do you identify a bottom?
Yea, I know ... 99% of the guys are bottoms... but that is not my experience. I'm a top who is looking for a bottom but it always seem to go wrong.
I'm not interested in guys who just want to wank or guys that are "versatile." I just want to meet a guy who is a bottom and therefore compatible with me.
If I meet a guy and want to go home with him, how do I politely say what I want without appearing crude?
|by Anonymous||reply 141||10/20/2015|
my bottom is behind me, that is how I identify it.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||06/26/2012|
I can understand, I'm a guy who prefers to top but who tends to end up talking to other dudes who feel the same way. I've also been there wondering how to politely ask a dude if he likes to bottom.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||06/26/2012|
Thanks R2. I think this whole thing about bottoms is a myth.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||06/26/2012|
If his legs automatically go up and his toes point to Jesus, he is a bottom.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||06/26/2012|
Such clear cut lines OP, bottom top? aren't we all versatile really?
|by Anonymous||reply 5||06/26/2012|
Not all of us are versatile.
I'm a top. It's not that I have anything against bottoming. My boyfriend of three years is a bottom and I love him more than anything.
But some people just don't have that desire.
My bf doesn't like getting blow jobs for instance.
It all depends on the person and what they like.
Before I found my husband, I relate to the original post.
It was kinda hard to find a polite way to ask which position a partner preferred... and if you didn't, you sometimes ended up in awkward situations.
"Oh, so you're a top too?"
"Hmm. Wanna watch a movie?"
|by Anonymous||reply 6||06/26/2012|
dude if it was me all you would have to do is just take me.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||06/27/2012|
Don't you just tuck a coloured bandanna into your pocket?
|by Anonymous||reply 8||06/27/2012|
or a banana in your pocket?
|by Anonymous||reply 9||06/27/2012|
Just date someone smaller than you. Then they will have to bottom for you.
It's the law.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||06/27/2012|
I've mainly bottomed for shorter guys
|by Anonymous||reply 11||06/27/2012|
If I'm going home with someone I let them know what I prefer and ask if that works for them.
Just cut straight (no pun intended) to the chase.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||06/27/2012|
Op this is not difficult.
As you are talking..."I am a total top, is that going to work for you?'
Now how hard was that?
|by Anonymous||reply 13||06/27/2012|
I once met a guy whose fast rule whether to bottom or top depended on whose cock was bigger. If his was bigger, he topped.
When we went home together, he assumed that he was bigger. When we finally revealed and I won, he explained his rule to me. I'm basically a top so no problem, but I was amused at his "hard" rule. He had a fantastic cock btw, worthy of all sorts of juicy activities. And he was from Greece.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||06/27/2012|
R10 speaks the truth. Being 5'7, I've literally had no choice but to be a bottom.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||06/27/2012|
R15 as someone the same height I am a top.
You chose bottomhood because it works for you, it has fuck all to do with height.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||06/27/2012|
[quote]If I meet a guy and want to go home with him, how do I politely say what I want without appearing crude?
You can't. Since, as you stated, the odds are heavily in your favor, just take a hot guy home and bring it up there. On the highly unlikely chance he's a total top, just blow each other and engage in some mutual JO.
Or you could just cruise guys on Grindr or Manhunt, where such questions are either already answered for you (on Manhunt, at least) or at the very least not inappropriate subject matter by any standard.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||06/27/2012|
I hate to be the one to say it, but most guys will bottom, "for the right guy." So you're just not the right guy.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||06/27/2012|
you rub it's belly in a clockwise motion when he bends over and show you his taint you know
|by Anonymous||reply 20||06/27/2012|
Thanks everyone for the responses. I'd like to meet R7 but is seems unlikely to happen by chance. I agree with R19 LAST sentence. I'm not the right guy for everyone. I just want to be the right guy for someone who is a bottom. I'm going out this weekend and taking several people's advice from above, I'm going to be direct but figure the best way is to slip it into the conversation casually.
|by Anonymous||reply 21||06/27/2012|
You can find us in the aisle where psyllium husks are sold.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||06/27/2012|
LOL @ R22. Or the Fleet aisle.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||06/27/2012|
Interesting, OP. I prefer to bottom but I only seem to meet bottoms. :(
|by Anonymous||reply 24||06/27/2012|
I used to think I could ID a bottom by watching the way he flirted. Maybe I just got lucky, because I tended to be right. Or maybe that was just because there are supposedly so many more bottoms. Which wasn't my experience back when I was looking, but whatever.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||07/01/2012|
OP, 99% of guys ARE bottoms, but only about 25% will admit it. So just asking won't do it. Just let them know that you are a TOTAL top, and see how they react. In fact if you make it widely known, the bottoms will come to you, believe me.
|by Anonymous||reply 27||07/01/2012|
[quote]My bf doesn't like getting blow jobs for instance. It all depends on the person and what they like.
It also depends on who they are having sex with and what point in their life they're at. I never used to get much from blow-jobs and wasn't interested. However, to put it bluntly, my partner does it in a way that blows my mind and he could suck me all day.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||07/01/2012|
Generally, in the summertime, when the wind blows they emit a tone between A and C below middle C.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||07/01/2012|
Re: How do you identify a bottom?
-Easy! Litmus paper up the ass and if it comes out showing a high alkaline content, you're in.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||07/01/2012|
See if there's an asscrack in the middle.
|by Anonymous||reply 32||07/01/2012|
You'd think gay men would be a little bit more enlightened and informed about sex than your run of the mill straight Neanderthal man.
And you'd be wrong.
Keep up the good work, morons.
|by Anonymous||reply 33||07/01/2012|
I'm a bottom and I'm not sure there's any way to tell until you get to the bedroom. I've been surprised so many times that I've stopped trying to predict it by mannerisms or "butchness" factor alone.
Depending on the situation, asking "what do you like to do in bed?" should give you the answer you're looking for. I don't think that's crude necessarily, just direct. I agree there is a bit of a stigma admitting you're a bottom (partly because of the attitudes shown on this thread), but usually people will admit to being versatile, which at least gives you a clue.
And it's funny, I'm about 6'1" and in my experience taller guys are more likely to be bottoms than shorter guys. It seems to be a real turn-on for shorter guys to top someone bigger.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||07/01/2012|
Check behind the ears for ankle marks.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||07/01/2012|
So you take guys home without discussing what you'll be doing once you get there? Do you talk to them at all?
|by Anonymous||reply 36||07/01/2012|
What R10 says. And if he gives you any trouble, just tell him, short people got no reason to live, let alone top.
|by Anonymous||reply 37||07/01/2012|
Energy, intuition will perhaps lead you to believe someone wants you inside them. Whether they exclusively want to bottom for you is unfortunately something you should let time tell you rather than bringing it up on first meeting, date or encounter.
Or you could just go online where it seems different rules apply and everyone tells what they want sexually pre-hook up. Still, isn't it more fun to meet someone, seduce them and see where it goes.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||07/01/2012|
Ask if he has pics of himself on his phone or Grindr...if there are mostly ass pics, there you go.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||07/01/2012|
The brown stains on his pants.
|by Anonymous||reply 40||07/02/2012|
1. Gay Voice
3. Large female social base
4. Shyness and intimidation around overtly masculine heterosexual males (Truck drivers, hunters, heavy metal music etc.)
|by Anonymous||reply 41||07/02/2012|
I look for the prolapsed rectum trailing behind them when they walk.
|by Anonymous||reply 42||07/02/2012|
I a bottom and feel like I need to label myself as verse just to get the most interest. I lust want someone who wants to get some nice oral and fuck me good. I'm not looking for someone on a power trip.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||07/02/2012|
[quote]Being 5'7, I've literally had no choice but to be a bottom.
Sometimes the man has to climb for the man to go into the man.
|by Anonymous||reply 45||07/02/2012|
I've met many top Asians ^ many bottom muscular whites. Stereotypes are for inexperienced queens
|by Anonymous||reply 48||07/02/2012|
It doesn't matter if the guy is tall or muscular, but if he wants to be a bottom, he has to have some sugar in his personality.
Butch bottoms are GROSS!
|by Anonymous||reply 49||07/02/2012|
This thread is making me HORNY AS HELL!
|by Anonymous||reply 51||07/02/2012|
No one would have to ask we bring back the hanky codes.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||07/02/2012|
I don't know about gross but I agree with r49 about "some sugar."
|by Anonymous||reply 54||07/02/2012|
The handsome Cuban actor Danny Pino (of Cold Case and Law & Order SVU fame) is widely suspected to be a sloppy "pass-around" party bottom.
|by Anonymous||reply 55||07/02/2012|
R55, do his wife and kids know?
|by Anonymous||reply 56||07/02/2012|
Everyone in L.A. is a bottom.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||07/02/2012|
I AM a bottom. Why would I need to identify one?
|by Anonymous||reply 60||07/02/2012|
[quote][R55], do his wife and kids know?
Danny Pino's plain wife knows that her husband is a pass-around cumtart, but he is still waiting for the right moment to break the news to his kids.
|by Anonymous||reply 61||07/02/2012|
I converted to bottomism in my mid-thirties.
|by Anonymous||reply 62||07/02/2012|
"How do you identify a bottom?"
I identify mine with ear tags, just like I identify other livestock. They whine a bit while you put the tag through the ear, but if you convince them it's a fashion that's "all the rage in London this year", they'll take to it just fine.
|by Anonymous||reply 64||07/08/2012|
No wonder old guys can't get laid. Nobody wants a 40 year old bottom.
|by Anonymous||reply 66||07/08/2012|
Follow the trail of lube.
|by Anonymous||reply 67||07/08/2012|
He opens his ass and a purse falls out.
|by Anonymous||reply 68||07/09/2012|
How do I identify a bottom? Their ass tastes like cock!
|by Anonymous||reply 71||05/29/2013|
I like it when a guy forces me, makes me give it up, makes me hurt and laughs.
|by Anonymous||reply 72||05/29/2013|
Bottoms are usually more "thirsty" to hook up believe me. The more eager and "thirsty" they are, the more they like to bottom. Also height doesn't mean shit! I'm 6'1 and a bottom queen! I ignore short bottoms that give me that "bottom wants dick look" like they're a Gypsie in Europe begging on the sidewalk with crooked feet.
|by Anonymous||reply 73||05/29/2013|
Bottoms are the best, I'm also not a fan of versatiles, even when they're happy to bottom. There's just something sexier about a guy who only gets fucked.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||05/29/2013|
I like strict bottoms only.
|by Anonymous||reply 76||07/30/2013|
The one with a penis in his rectum.
|by Anonymous||reply 77||07/30/2013|
They love female music and movies
|by Anonymous||reply 78||08/07/2013|
Why don't you just wear a name tag on your shirts that say, "Top" or "Bottom." Then all the Tops can go on the left side of the bar and all the Bottoms to the right side of the bar and then you can all check each other out and then pair up. Problem solved.
|by Anonymous||reply 79||08/07/2013|
You're going to someone's home for sex and you can't just ask them if they're a bottom?
|by Anonymous||reply 80||08/07/2013|
He'd be the guy wiping his ass with a wet wipe, very gingerly.
|by Anonymous||reply 82||08/07/2013|
I love being the bitch, being forced and roughed up.
If he's not up for it then I get to top
|by Anonymous||reply 83||08/07/2013|
They do a lot of squats on the gym, and are bold enough to use the butt exercise machine, which no other dudes even go near.
|by Anonymous||reply 85||08/15/2013|
I wear tight shorts, does that make me a bottom?
|by Anonymous||reply 86||08/15/2013|
By seeing how quickly he gets into his flip-flops after curtain call.
|by Anonymous||reply 87||08/15/2013|
Flips flops means straight to me. Are straight boys all bottoms in waiting?
|by Anonymous||reply 88||08/15/2013|
I identify as a libertarian fucktard bottom
|by Anonymous||reply 89||08/19/2013|
They have conservative morals and hang out in the men's bathroom.
|by Anonymous||reply 90||08/19/2013|
Libertarians troll the bottom of the barrels.
|by Anonymous||reply 91||08/19/2013|
The bottom is the guy on his belly holding his ass cheeks apart.
|by Anonymous||reply 92||08/20/2013|
Ask him when fleet week is if he replies -"i dunno but they are on sale at target" you got a winner.
|by Anonymous||reply 93||08/20/2013|
If you are in a bar, put your hand on his ass. If he doesn't back away, put your hand down the back of his pants and finger his hole. If he likes it, he's a bottom.
Of course, you have to talk to him first and establish that he might be interested.
|by Anonymous||reply 94||08/20/2013|
The Palestinian territories are all bottoms.
|by Anonymous||reply 96||08/20/2013|
I've never had any problem meeting hung tops and I'm not even particularly attractive.
|by Anonymous||reply 101||11/30/2013|
I'm a nasty old stoop whore and I get more big cocks up my hole than I know what to do with!
|by Anonymous||reply 102||11/30/2013|
I've never had problems identifying bottoms. They practically scream it with their body language. Then again, I'm a bottom magnet.
|by Anonymous||reply 103||11/30/2013|
Ask him if he's a Republican. If he says yes, he's a guaranteed bottom.
|by Anonymous||reply 105||12/01/2013|
Just lighten things up OP and flippantly ask if you can stick your hoo hoo up his ha ha.
Mix it up.
|by Anonymous||reply 106||12/01/2013|
I like to bottom, how to identify? i like to ride a thick cock and dogie and taking care of a top. i like service tops.
|by Anonymous||reply 107||04/26/2014|
tight pants is a good way and taking selfies of their behind
|by Anonymous||reply 110||11/10/2014|
He's sitting on your dick.
|by Anonymous||reply 111||11/10/2014|
I can usually spot a bottom, not because they act fem or anything. Bottoms have this "FUCK ME HARD" look in their eyes :)
|by Anonymous||reply 112||11/10/2014|
I'm Asian. Everyone assumes I'm a bottom.
|by Anonymous||reply 113||11/10/2014|
>>If you are in a bar, put your hand on his ass. If he doesn't back away, put your hand down the back of his pants and finger his hole. If he likes it, he's a bottom.
>>Of course, you have to talk to him first and establish that he might be interested.
Best advice I've heard here in a long time...
|by Anonymous||reply 114||11/10/2014|
It's been my experience that bottoms more often make the first move. Whether it's true or not, there's a widely held opinion that there are more gay bottoms than tops (this doesn't account for versatiles, of course), which makes bottoms more competitive while tops can hang back and have their pick.
In short, don't be the one to make the approach, OP.
|by Anonymous||reply 115||11/10/2014|
For me it's the exact opposite. I'm looking for a top.
|by Anonymous||reply 117||12/02/2014|
I don't know that you do, but in bar conversation complimenting him with "i'd sure like to fuck you" and he squeals with pleasure and it isn't a turnoff, then he's yours.
|by Anonymous||reply 118||12/02/2014|
R102, if you're the one on 13th Street with the gray hair, the guy in the donut shop has eyes for you! I heard him telling the dishwasher about you ..."the dude has great hair for days."
|by Anonymous||reply 119||12/02/2014|
A certain mister Robert Wagner at a slightly younger age. Do you spot a top or a bottom? Just curious...
|by Anonymous||reply 121||01/13/2015|
You ask them - "Can I fuck your hot bubble butt?"
An enthusiastic YES is usually a good indicator.
|by Anonymous||reply 123||01/14/2015|
The stigma some of you mention might come from wrapping ones sexual identity in what is essentially a sex position. Saying I *am* a top or I *am* a bottom reduces one to an object as opposed to I like/prefer to top or I like/prefer to bottom, which maintains some semblance of humanity.
|by Anonymous||reply 126||01/27/2015|
It looks like a lazy ass.
|by Anonymous||reply 127||01/27/2015|
Sometimes you feel like a butt- sometimes you don't.
|by Anonymous||reply 129||06/20/2015|
Those are all bigoted stereotypes, r41.
Not even true half the time.
Pain and shame have more to do with stopping even femmy guys from bottoming.
And a lot of femmes and trannies are ferocious tops by desire.
What you do in the bedroom has nothing to do with what you do anywhere else.
I'm not talking about exceptions to a rule -- I don't even think you have a rule.
|by Anonymous||reply 130||06/20/2015|
I've brought home three different gorgeous, Asian muscleboys who all refused to bottom for me.
It's aggravating. I had to pretend like taking their 4-inch cocks was a thrill.
|by Anonymous||reply 131||06/20/2015|
"Hey, you're cute. You like to take it up the shitter?" does the job for me!
|by Anonymous||reply 132||06/20/2015|
What if we prefer synechdoche over political correctness for shorthand without believing we've violated anybody's human rights, r126?
What if we have the proper chromosome count to tell the difference between a figure of speech and a whole person?
|by Anonymous||reply 133||06/20/2015|
Go online to hook up sites and post you are strictly bottom,every last one that answers your ad will be one too ! At least that's been my experience 95% of the time,even though I make it perfectly clear what I want.
|by Anonymous||reply 134||06/20/2015|
Since your primary interest is in sex, don't worry too much about a polite way to discover his role during sex. He's no doubt encountered many men like you who have no interest in him as a person and values him only as a hole in which to place your cock, so he won't be surprised by your question.
|by Anonymous||reply 135||06/20/2015|
If he claims to be a "top" and then wants fucked, he's a bottom.
Versatile=usually a total bottom or mainly a bottom but won't admit it.
|by Anonymous||reply 136||06/20/2015|
If you don't check the date of the thread you can tell it was started much earlier than 2014 just by the wit alone. You know you've reached 2014 or 2015 by the hateful tone of the posts.
|by Anonymous||reply 138||10/19/2015|
Well, one thing the OP got right: the comment that 99% of men are bottoms, or will bottom.
I'm in the 1% who won't. I'll take a well-intentioned finger, but I have no interest in being fucked. But I like to fuck - a lot. And I have never found another guy, gay, straight-claiming or whatever, who won't say yes and enjoy after being approached right about it. I think most of the time guys, especially the "bicurious" types, think there's something wrong or non-masculine about being fucked. I don't think that at all, but it's as if they have to put up a front to protect their reputations or something. It's like the old days when a girl would use all sorts of delaying tactics to preserve her reputation before going for it as she intended all along.
Not that I don't like the seduction play. There's nothing hotter than going out with a guy a few times and taking it slow and easy, and then having him go crazy with pleasure being fucked. I know tops have a reputation for being selfish, and the selfish top is a gay icon that people think is a turn-on. I really enjoy having a guy love being fucked. And being a guy's first is great. I think the biggest surprise for them is how it feels for them to cum while being fucked, that intensity.
I've wondered if it's a character flaw that I'm not interested in being fucked, but I figure it's not hurting anyone and I have a great time without it.
So, OP, I think the answer is just about every man is a bottom, eventually. And it has nothing to do with all the emasculation jokes here. Aren't we past that yet?
|by Anonymous||reply 140||10/19/2015|