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How do you identify a bottom?

Yea, I know ... 99% of the guys are bottoms... but that is not my experience. I'm a top who is looking for a bottom but it always seem to go wrong.

I'm not interested in guys who just want to wank or guys that are "versatile." I just want to meet a guy who is a bottom and therefore compatible with me.

If I meet a guy and want to go home with him, how do I politely say what I want without appearing crude?

by Anonymousreply 14110/20/2015

my bottom is behind me, that is how I identify it.

by Anonymousreply 106/26/2012

I can understand, I'm a guy who prefers to top but who tends to end up talking to other dudes who feel the same way. I've also been there wondering how to politely ask a dude if he likes to bottom.

by Anonymousreply 206/26/2012

Thanks R2. I think this whole thing about bottoms is a myth.

by Anonymousreply 306/26/2012

If his legs automatically go up and his toes point to Jesus, he is a bottom.

by Anonymousreply 406/26/2012

Such clear cut lines OP, bottom top? aren't we all versatile really?

by Anonymousreply 506/26/2012

Not all of us are versatile.

I'm a top. It's not that I have anything against bottoming. My boyfriend of three years is a bottom and I love him more than anything.

But some people just don't have that desire.

My bf doesn't like getting blow jobs for instance.

It all depends on the person and what they like.

Before I found my husband, I relate to the original post.

It was kinda hard to find a polite way to ask which position a partner preferred... and if you didn't, you sometimes ended up in awkward situations.

"Oh, so you're a top too?"


"Hmm. Wanna watch a movie?"

by Anonymousreply 606/26/2012

dude if it was me all you would have to do is just take me.

by Anonymousreply 706/27/2012

Don't you just tuck a coloured bandanna into your pocket?

by Anonymousreply 806/27/2012

or a banana in your pocket?

by Anonymousreply 906/27/2012

Just date someone smaller than you. Then they will have to bottom for you.

It's the law.

by Anonymousreply 1006/27/2012

I've mainly bottomed for shorter guys

by Anonymousreply 1106/27/2012

If I'm going home with someone I let them know what I prefer and ask if that works for them.

Just cut straight (no pun intended) to the chase.

by Anonymousreply 1206/27/2012

Op this is not difficult.

As you are talking..."I am a total top, is that going to work for you?'

Now how hard was that?

by Anonymousreply 1306/27/2012

I once met a guy whose fast rule whether to bottom or top depended on whose cock was bigger. If his was bigger, he topped.

When we went home together, he assumed that he was bigger. When we finally revealed and I won, he explained his rule to me. I'm basically a top so no problem, but I was amused at his "hard" rule. He had a fantastic cock btw, worthy of all sorts of juicy activities. And he was from Greece.

by Anonymousreply 1406/27/2012

R10 speaks the truth. Being 5'7, I've literally had no choice but to be a bottom.

by Anonymousreply 1506/27/2012

R15 as someone the same height I am a top.

You chose bottomhood because it works for you, it has fuck all to do with height.

by Anonymousreply 1606/27/2012

[quote]If I meet a guy and want to go home with him, how do I politely say what I want without appearing crude?

You can't. Since, as you stated, the odds are heavily in your favor, just take a hot guy home and bring it up there. On the highly unlikely chance he's a total top, just blow each other and engage in some mutual JO.

Or you could just cruise guys on Grindr or Manhunt, where such questions are either already answered for you (on Manhunt, at least) or at the very least not inappropriate subject matter by any standard.

by Anonymousreply 1706/27/2012

By the slime trail?

by Anonymousreply 1806/27/2012

I hate to be the one to say it, but most guys will bottom, "for the right guy." So you're just not the right guy.

by Anonymousreply 1906/27/2012

you rub it's belly in a clockwise motion when he bends over and show you his taint you know

by Anonymousreply 2006/27/2012

Thanks everyone for the responses. I'd like to meet R7 but is seems unlikely to happen by chance. I agree with R19 LAST sentence. I'm not the right guy for everyone. I just want to be the right guy for someone who is a bottom. I'm going out this weekend and taking several people's advice from above, I'm going to be direct but figure the best way is to slip it into the conversation casually.

by Anonymousreply 2106/27/2012

You can find us in the aisle where psyllium husks are sold.

by Anonymousreply 2206/27/2012

LOL @ R22. Or the Fleet aisle.

by Anonymousreply 2306/27/2012

Interesting, OP. I prefer to bottom but I only seem to meet bottoms. :(

by Anonymousreply 2406/27/2012

Drop the soap.

by Anonymousreply 2506/27/2012

I used to think I could ID a bottom by watching the way he flirted. Maybe I just got lucky, because I tended to be right. Or maybe that was just because there are supposedly so many more bottoms. Which wasn't my experience back when I was looking, but whatever.

by Anonymousreply 2607/01/2012

OP, 99% of guys ARE bottoms, but only about 25% will admit it. So just asking won't do it. Just let them know that you are a TOTAL top, and see how they react. In fact if you make it widely known, the bottoms will come to you, believe me.

by Anonymousreply 2707/01/2012

[quote]My bf doesn't like getting blow jobs for instance. It all depends on the person and what they like.

It also depends on who they are having sex with and what point in their life they're at. I never used to get much from blow-jobs and wasn't interested. However, to put it bluntly, my partner does it in a way that blows my mind and he could suck me all day.

by Anonymousreply 2807/01/2012

Generally, in the summertime, when the wind blows they emit a tone between A and C below middle C.

by Anonymousreply 2907/01/2012

Re: How do you identify a bottom?

-Easy! Litmus paper up the ass and if it comes out showing a high alkaline content, you're in.

by Anonymousreply 3007/01/2012

Wait until they present

by Anonymousreply 3107/01/2012

See if there's an asscrack in the middle.

by Anonymousreply 3207/01/2012

You'd think gay men would be a little bit more enlightened and informed about sex than your run of the mill straight Neanderthal man.

And you'd be wrong.

Keep up the good work, morons.

by Anonymousreply 3307/01/2012

I'm a bottom and I'm not sure there's any way to tell until you get to the bedroom. I've been surprised so many times that I've stopped trying to predict it by mannerisms or "butchness" factor alone.

Depending on the situation, asking "what do you like to do in bed?" should give you the answer you're looking for. I don't think that's crude necessarily, just direct. I agree there is a bit of a stigma admitting you're a bottom (partly because of the attitudes shown on this thread), but usually people will admit to being versatile, which at least gives you a clue.

And it's funny, I'm about 6'1" and in my experience taller guys are more likely to be bottoms than shorter guys. It seems to be a real turn-on for shorter guys to top someone bigger.

by Anonymousreply 3407/01/2012

Check behind the ears for ankle marks.

by Anonymousreply 3507/01/2012

So you take guys home without discussing what you'll be doing once you get there? Do you talk to them at all?

by Anonymousreply 3607/01/2012

What R10 says. And if he gives you any trouble, just tell him, short people got no reason to live, let alone top.

by Anonymousreply 3707/01/2012

Energy, intuition will perhaps lead you to believe someone wants you inside them. Whether they exclusively want to bottom for you is unfortunately something you should let time tell you rather than bringing it up on first meeting, date or encounter.

Or you could just go online where it seems different rules apply and everyone tells what they want sexually pre-hook up. Still, isn't it more fun to meet someone, seduce them and see where it goes.

by Anonymousreply 3807/01/2012

Ask if he has pics of himself on his phone or Grindr...if there are mostly ass pics, there you go.

by Anonymousreply 3907/01/2012

The brown stains on his pants.

by Anonymousreply 4007/02/2012

1. Gay Voice

2. Occupation

3. Large female social base

4. Shyness and intimidation around overtly masculine heterosexual males (Truck drivers, hunters, heavy metal music etc.)

by Anonymousreply 4107/02/2012

I look for the prolapsed rectum trailing behind them when they walk.

by Anonymousreply 4207/02/2012

Four Drinks = Bottom

You're welcome

by Anonymousreply 4307/02/2012

I a bottom and feel like I need to label myself as verse just to get the most interest. I lust want someone who wants to get some nice oral and fuck me good. I'm not looking for someone on a power trip.

by Anonymousreply 4407/02/2012

[quote]Being 5'7, I've literally had no choice but to be a bottom.

Sometimes the man has to climb for the man to go into the man.

by Anonymousreply 4507/02/2012

I like the power trips

by Anonymousreply 4607/02/2012


by Anonymousreply 4707/02/2012

I've met many top Asians ^ many bottom muscular whites. Stereotypes are for inexperienced queens

by Anonymousreply 4807/02/2012

It doesn't matter if the guy is tall or muscular, but if he wants to be a bottom, he has to have some sugar in his personality.

Butch bottoms are GROSS!

by Anonymousreply 4907/02/2012

R49 = Fem Bottom

by Anonymousreply 5007/02/2012

This thread is making me HORNY AS HELL!

by Anonymousreply 5107/02/2012

No one would have to ask we bring back the hanky codes.

by Anonymousreply 5207/02/2012

Search for the blonde.

by Anonymousreply 5307/02/2012

I don't know about gross but I agree with r49 about "some sugar."

by Anonymousreply 5407/02/2012

The handsome Cuban actor Danny Pino (of Cold Case and Law & Order SVU fame) is widely suspected to be a sloppy "pass-around" party bottom.

by Anonymousreply 5507/02/2012

R55, do his wife and kids know?

by Anonymousreply 5607/02/2012

God, I hope so, R55!

by Anonymousreply 5707/02/2012


by Anonymousreply 5807/02/2012

Everyone in L.A. is a bottom.

by Anonymousreply 5907/02/2012

I AM a bottom. Why would I need to identify one?

by Anonymousreply 6007/02/2012

[quote][R55], do his wife and kids know?

Danny Pino's plain wife knows that her husband is a pass-around cumtart, but he is still waiting for the right moment to break the news to his kids.

by Anonymousreply 6107/02/2012

I converted to bottomism in my mid-thirties.

by Anonymousreply 6207/02/2012


by Anonymousreply 6307/02/2012

"How do you identify a bottom?"

I identify mine with ear tags, just like I identify other livestock. They whine a bit while you put the tag through the ear, but if you convince them it's a fashion that's "all the rage in London this year", they'll take to it just fine.

by Anonymousreply 6407/08/2012

LOL r52


(left) park sex top

(right) park sex bottom

by Anonymousreply 6507/08/2012

No wonder old guys can't get laid. Nobody wants a 40 year old bottom.

by Anonymousreply 6607/08/2012

Follow the trail of lube.

by Anonymousreply 6707/08/2012

He opens his ass and a purse falls out.

by Anonymousreply 6807/09/2012

No, dude.

by Anonymousreply 6905/29/2013

By his dental records.

by Anonymousreply 7005/29/2013

How do I identify a bottom? Their ass tastes like cock!

by Anonymousreply 7105/29/2013

I like it when a guy forces me, makes me give it up, makes me hurt and laughs.

by Anonymousreply 7205/29/2013

Bottoms are usually more "thirsty" to hook up believe me. The more eager and "thirsty" they are, the more they like to bottom. Also height doesn't mean shit! I'm 6'1 and a bottom queen! I ignore short bottoms that give me that "bottom wants dick look" like they're a Gypsie in Europe begging on the sidewalk with crooked feet.

by Anonymousreply 7305/29/2013

Bottoms are the best, I'm also not a fan of versatiles, even when they're happy to bottom. There's just something sexier about a guy who only gets fucked.

by Anonymousreply 7405/29/2013


by Anonymousreply 7507/27/2013

I like strict bottoms only.

by Anonymousreply 7607/30/2013

The one with a penis in his rectum.

by Anonymousreply 7707/30/2013

They love female music and movies

by Anonymousreply 7808/07/2013

Why don't you just wear a name tag on your shirts that say, "Top" or "Bottom." Then all the Tops can go on the left side of the bar and all the Bottoms to the right side of the bar and then you can all check each other out and then pair up. Problem solved.

by Anonymousreply 7908/07/2013

You're going to someone's home for sex and you can't just ask them if they're a bottom?

by Anonymousreply 8008/07/2013

Look at me

by Anonymousreply 8108/07/2013

He'd be the guy wiping his ass with a wet wipe, very gingerly.

by Anonymousreply 8208/07/2013

I love being the bitch, being forced and roughed up.

If he's not up for it then I get to top

by Anonymousreply 8308/07/2013

I love it when it hurts

by Anonymousreply 8408/07/2013

They do a lot of squats on the gym, and are bold enough to use the butt exercise machine, which no other dudes even go near.

by Anonymousreply 8508/15/2013

I wear tight shorts, does that make me a bottom?

by Anonymousreply 8608/15/2013

By seeing how quickly he gets into his flip-flops after curtain call.

by Anonymousreply 8708/15/2013

Flips flops means straight to me. Are straight boys all bottoms in waiting?

by Anonymousreply 8808/15/2013

I identify as a libertarian fucktard bottom

by Anonymousreply 8908/19/2013

They have conservative morals and hang out in the men's bathroom.

by Anonymousreply 9008/19/2013

Libertarians troll the bottom of the barrels.

by Anonymousreply 9108/19/2013

The bottom is the guy on his belly holding his ass cheeks apart.

by Anonymousreply 9208/20/2013

Ask him when fleet week is if he replies -"i dunno but they are on sale at target" you got a winner.

by Anonymousreply 9308/20/2013

If you are in a bar, put your hand on his ass. If he doesn't back away, put your hand down the back of his pants and finger his hole. If he likes it, he's a bottom.

Of course, you have to talk to him first and establish that he might be interested.

by Anonymousreply 9408/20/2013

Sometimes you don't.

by Anonymousreply 9508/20/2013

[quote]2. Occupation

The Palestinian territories are all bottoms.

by Anonymousreply 9608/20/2013

this might help

by Anonymousreply 9708/20/2013


by Anonymousreply 9811/18/2013

Op, fuck me pleas

by Anonymousreply 9911/18/2013


by Anonymousreply 10011/30/2013

I've never had any problem meeting hung tops and I'm not even particularly attractive.

by Anonymousreply 10111/30/2013

I'm a nasty old stoop whore and I get more big cocks up my hole than I know what to do with!

by Anonymousreply 10211/30/2013

I've never had problems identifying bottoms. They practically scream it with their body language. Then again, I'm a bottom magnet.

by Anonymousreply 10311/30/2013

Fluttering eyelashes

by Anonymousreply 10412/01/2013

Ask him if he's a Republican. If he says yes, he's a guaranteed bottom.

by Anonymousreply 10512/01/2013

Just lighten things up OP and flippantly ask if you can stick your hoo hoo up his ha ha.

Mix it up.

by Anonymousreply 10612/01/2013

I like to bottom, how to identify? i like to ride a thick cock and dogie and taking care of a top. i like service tops.

by Anonymousreply 10704/26/2014


by Anonymousreply 10807/15/2014

tight pants

by Anonymousreply 10909/18/2014

tight pants is a good way and taking selfies of their behind

by Anonymousreply 11011/10/2014

He's sitting on your dick.

by Anonymousreply 11111/10/2014

I can usually spot a bottom, not because they act fem or anything. Bottoms have this "FUCK ME HARD" look in their eyes :)

by Anonymousreply 11211/10/2014

I'm Asian. Everyone assumes I'm a bottom.

by Anonymousreply 11311/10/2014

>>If you are in a bar, put your hand on his ass. If he doesn't back away, put your hand down the back of his pants and finger his hole. If he likes it, he's a bottom.

>>Of course, you have to talk to him first and establish that he might be interested.

Best advice I've heard here in a long time...

by Anonymousreply 11411/10/2014

It's been my experience that bottoms more often make the first move. Whether it's true or not, there's a widely held opinion that there are more gay bottoms than tops (this doesn't account for versatiles, of course), which makes bottoms more competitive while tops can hang back and have their pick.

In short, don't be the one to make the approach, OP.

by Anonymousreply 11511/10/2014

"I only top".

by Anonymousreply 11611/10/2014

For me it's the exact opposite. I'm looking for a top.

by Anonymousreply 11712/02/2014

I don't know that you do, but in bar conversation complimenting him with "i'd sure like to fuck you" and he squeals with pleasure and it isn't a turnoff, then he's yours.

by Anonymousreply 11812/02/2014

R102, if you're the one on 13th Street with the gray hair, the guy in the donut shop has eyes for you! I heard him telling the dishwasher about you ..."the dude has great hair for days."

by Anonymousreply 11912/02/2014


by Anonymousreply 12001/13/2015

A certain mister Robert Wagner at a slightly younger age. Do you spot a top or a bottom? Just curious...

by Anonymousreply 12101/13/2015


by Anonymousreply 12201/13/2015

You ask them - "Can I fuck your hot bubble butt?"

An enthusiastic YES is usually a good indicator.

by Anonymousreply 12301/14/2015

By the smell.

by Anonymousreply 12401/14/2015

No no no

by Anonymousreply 12501/27/2015

The stigma some of you mention might come from wrapping ones sexual identity in what is essentially a sex position. Saying I *am* a top or I *am* a bottom reduces one to an object as opposed to I like/prefer to top or I like/prefer to bottom, which maintains some semblance of humanity.

by Anonymousreply 12601/27/2015

It looks like a lazy ass.

by Anonymousreply 12701/27/2015


by Anonymousreply 12806/20/2015

Sometimes you feel like a butt- sometimes you don't.

by Anonymousreply 12906/20/2015

Those are all bigoted stereotypes, r41.

Not even true half the time.

Pain and shame have more to do with stopping even femmy guys from bottoming.

And a lot of femmes and trannies are ferocious tops by desire.

What you do in the bedroom has nothing to do with what you do anywhere else.

I'm not talking about exceptions to a rule -- I don't even think you have a rule.

by Anonymousreply 13006/20/2015

I've brought home three different gorgeous, Asian muscleboys who all refused to bottom for me.

It's aggravating. I had to pretend like taking their 4-inch cocks was a thrill.

by Anonymousreply 13106/20/2015

"Hey, you're cute. You like to take it up the shitter?" does the job for me!

by Anonymousreply 13206/20/2015

What if we prefer synechdoche over political correctness for shorthand without believing we've violated anybody's human rights, r126?

What if we have the proper chromosome count to tell the difference between a figure of speech and a whole person?

by Anonymousreply 13306/20/2015

Go online to hook up sites and post you are strictly bottom,every last one that answers your ad will be one too ! At least that's been my experience 95% of the time,even though I make it perfectly clear what I want.

by Anonymousreply 13406/20/2015

Since your primary interest is in sex, don't worry too much about a polite way to discover his role during sex. He's no doubt encountered many men like you who have no interest in him as a person and values him only as a hole in which to place your cock, so he won't be surprised by your question.

by Anonymousreply 13506/20/2015

If he claims to be a "top" and then wants fucked, he's a bottom.

Versatile=usually a total bottom or mainly a bottom but won't admit it.

by Anonymousreply 13606/20/2015

bottom bump

by Anonymousreply 13710/19/2015

If you don't check the date of the thread you can tell it was started much earlier than 2014 just by the wit alone. You know you've reached 2014 or 2015 by the hateful tone of the posts.

by Anonymousreply 13810/19/2015

Bottoms are like women

by Anonymousreply 13910/19/2015

Well, one thing the OP got right: the comment that 99% of men are bottoms, or will bottom.

I'm in the 1% who won't. I'll take a well-intentioned finger, but I have no interest in being fucked. But I like to fuck - a lot. And I have never found another guy, gay, straight-claiming or whatever, who won't say yes and enjoy after being approached right about it. I think most of the time guys, especially the "bicurious" types, think there's something wrong or non-masculine about being fucked. I don't think that at all, but it's as if they have to put up a front to protect their reputations or something. It's like the old days when a girl would use all sorts of delaying tactics to preserve her reputation before going for it as she intended all along.

Not that I don't like the seduction play. There's nothing hotter than going out with a guy a few times and taking it slow and easy, and then having him go crazy with pleasure being fucked. I know tops have a reputation for being selfish, and the selfish top is a gay icon that people think is a turn-on. I really enjoy having a guy love being fucked. And being a guy's first is great. I think the biggest surprise for them is how it feels for them to cum while being fucked, that intensity.

I've wondered if it's a character flaw that I'm not interested in being fucked, but I figure it's not hurting anyone and I have a great time without it.

So, OP, I think the answer is just about every man is a bottom, eventually. And it has nothing to do with all the emasculation jokes here. Aren't we past that yet?

by Anonymousreply 14010/19/2015


by Anonymousreply 14110/20/2015
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