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Please critique my menu for the week -- I just moved in with a new beau and I want to impress!

Tonight: Grilled margherita pizza, quinoa salad, ruby-red punch

Tomorrow: Salmon salad with feta and olives, tomatillo gazpacho

Wednesday: Smoked carrot mousse with pimento-paprika sauce, whore's pasta (puttanesca) with whole grain rotini, garlic bread, red wine

Thursday: Smoky salsa, mushroom enchiladas, guacamole, agua fresca w/lemons, chocolate mousse pie

Friday: Dinner out -- contemplating making a reservation at either (a) John Dory or (b) Marea

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 10103/06/2013

OP you're an idiot.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 106/18/2012

Sounds wonderful- however he's going to be fat soon if you keep feeding him this way , you future chubby chaser

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 206/18/2012

Looks good.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 306/18/2012

Someone has been reading Ladies Home Journal on their Mom's toilet again.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 406/18/2012

R1 and R4 are just jealous. I would be ecstatic if someone planned and made those meals for me.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 506/18/2012

Very nice, OP.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 606/18/2012

Anyone who tried to serve me mushrooms in anything would never get another date.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 706/18/2012

Manage expectations. 1)When is take-out night? and 2) When is he going to get off his lazy ass and cook for you?

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 806/18/2012

Looks like you guys do eat fish but not meat or fowl, which is what I do, too. You sound like a wonderful cook, OP, & he's a lucky man -- but if it doesn't work out, you'd be welcome to come live with me!

Meanwhile, I'd love your recipe for mushroom enchiladas.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 906/18/2012

3/10 for good spelling.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 1006/18/2012

OP. Total bottom.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 1106/18/2012

I wonder if your new beau will notice the menu once he moves in:

Sunday - Chinese takeout

Monday - leftover Chinese takeout

Tuesday - Rice, fortune cookie, and duck sauce packets

Wednesday - Domino's pizza

Thursday - Leftover pizza

Friday - leftover pizza

Saturday - Ramen noodles

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 1206/18/2012

Um, a new beau?

Aunt Pittypat will not approve of such goings on.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 1306/18/2012

Looks dee-LISH, OP. Though I hope it's not overkill. I trust you know he's a foodie. Ignore those body fascists who're worrying about weight gain. ONE warnbing, though: absolutely NO CILANTRO in any dish. He could be like me -- and countless others including Julia Child -- who believe it to be the devil's weed. I'd move out -- or throw YOU out -- the 2nd time you included it.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 1406/18/2012

you sound EXHAUSTING, op. don't unpack too quickly.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 1506/18/2012

Saturday: A cleansing enema.

Sunday: OP weeps as his beloved moves out.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 1606/18/2012

He's going to think he's married Macaroni Grill!

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 1706/18/2012

OP, you may be establishing a pattern that won't hold up. I'd be a bit less ambitious to avoid the bf's disappointment later.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 1806/18/2012

Too, too much Op. You look desperate cooking all that junk.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 1906/18/2012

In six-months you will be asking DLers where to find the better day old tuna sandwiches... Qwikimart, QwickCheck or Wawas.

Personally, I like 7-11's.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 2006/18/2012

This reads like a desperate, clingy bottom's grasping attempt to be the littlest haus frau. I'm sure there'll be a martini and slippers waiting at the door.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 2106/18/2012

So what's wrong with that, R21? It's always been a good deal for the husband &, if Betty enjoys the role (as OP seems to do so far), then everyone's happy.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 2206/18/2012

I'd like some carrot mousse. Recipe, please.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 2306/18/2012

I agree with some of the other posters. It all SCREAMS "trying too hard" and Ladies Home Journal.

He's bound to get a little spooked imho, no matter how good the food is. Keep it simple and fun and a little more, well, butch.

The first couple weeks, the two of you should feel like naughty-fun boys moving in together, not spinster librarians cooking a special meal before the "Keeping Up Appearances" marathon on PBS.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 2406/18/2012

A-FUCKING-MEN R25! Give me a pizza and 5 hours of freaky bed-time action instead of carrot mousse. Marry me you stud.

And, you made me LOL R24!

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 2606/19/2012

Be sure to wear your best heels and pearls while preparing your meals.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 2706/19/2012

Quinoa is disgusting.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 2806/19/2012

Agree with everyone else, and I'm a frau. This is way OTT and you can't keep it going long term. Who has the time? Do one or two of these lovely meals per week. The rest of the nights should be take out, left overs and quick throw together meals.

Also, ITA with R24, you should have other things on your mind besides cooking in a new relationship.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 2906/19/2012

What is wrong with occasional beef steaks, Pork chops, fried chicken, steamed fish, raw fish(sushi). These are easier to prepare more time for you to cuddle.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 3006/19/2012

LOL @ R12! So TRUE!!!

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 3106/19/2012

Carrot mousse... smoked? WTF?

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 3206/19/2012

Quinoa with pizza, bad choice. Too carb heavy.

Whole grain pasta sucks and serving it WITH bread is another double dose of carbs.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 3306/19/2012

totally agree with r33. And how the fuck do you grill a pizza? Pizza needs to be baked. Order a pizza and make a simple green salad.

WTF is a smoked carrot mousse? And the next night you're having something else smoked?

I personally hate going out on Fridays and Saturdays because restaurants are too crowded. Much rather go out during the week and cook on the weekend.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 3406/19/2012

When calling someone an "idiot," try not to look like one yourself, R1.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 3506/19/2012

[quote]I agree with some of the other posters. It all SCREAMS "trying too hard"

I agree, r24. I would run from someone like this.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 3606/19/2012

OP, get over yourself, hon.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 3706/19/2012

stepford husband?

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 3806/19/2012

OP = Bossy Bottom

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 3906/19/2012

I wouldn't mind having someone cook like this for me but I could never date them or live with them. I can just hear him screaming the first time he sees me drinking straight from the milk container.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 4006/19/2012

Dream worlds are so fucking cool aren't they?

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 4106/19/2012

(R12) That is so fucking funny...and probably true. The initial meal will be gourmet cause the guy's unemployment or disability check came in but after that's all spent......Top Ramen every night....

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 4206/19/2012

OP: it gets only a 3/10 on the fussiness scale, but an 8/10 on the pansy-prissypants scale.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 4306/19/2012

Why dessert only on Wednesday? Why no special beverage on Tuesday?

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 4406/19/2012

GRILLED pizza??? Seriously?

Smoked carrot mousse! Please!

The new beau won't be able to take the pretentiousness and you will be gone in a month.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 4506/19/2012

OK this is the carrot mousse recipe. Grilled pizza is really delicious and it tastes fantastic -- it is one very authentic way to make pizza!!

Thank you for your critiques -- agree with quinoa plus pizza, too carb-heavy and it does put on pounds. I'll go with a green salad instead!!

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 4606/19/2012

[quote]OP. Total bottom

It's the inclusion of quinoa in the original menu that gives him away.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 4706/19/2012

I can see OP screaming at his boyfriend because he doesn't show enough appreciation for these fussy meals.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 4806/19/2012

I'm a total bottom and even I feel bad for your rampant effeminacy.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 4906/19/2012

You do realise that you're simply fast-forwarding to where you have perfunctory sex OP?

Aside from that, you're worrying about food that will put on the pounds. Don't- get him overweight enough so that you can feel safe in the knowledge that he'll never get a look from someone else and will never leave. Stir in some extra fat after you've served up your own portion for added results.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 5006/19/2012

Clingy bottoms are the worst and I do mean the....[italic] worst. [/italic]

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 5106/19/2012

Almost forgot to mention brunch on Sunday: Smoked salmon and scallion creme cheese omelets, brioche with feta butter, and hash browns. Mimosas too!! Fresh fruit on the side (melons, strawberries, blueberries if avail at Farmer's Market).

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 5206/19/2012

How old are you and your partner, OP?

Are the meals you want to prepare the same sort of meals he'd order in a restaurant? Or would he order something with meat and potatoes?

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 5306/19/2012

We're both gourmands but he doesn't have much time to cook. We're both 28 (I am six months older).

Basically I love to cook food for people I love. Is that strange? I'll slave over recipes for hours, finding just the right one, then I'll spend the day in the kitchen making a magical meal.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 5406/19/2012

Please post your heights and weights next.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 5506/19/2012

Feta butter? What fresh hell is this, seriously?

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 5606/19/2012

[quote]Basically I love to cook food for people I love.

You can live on each others cum for days.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 5706/19/2012

I'll be needing your address and what time did you say dinner was?

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 5806/19/2012

The use of the words "feta butter" now lead me to believe the OP has created an EST to generate outrage and disgust at his imaginings ....

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 5906/19/2012

It's a bit much, but if you can handle that kind of menu and love to cook, go for it. I like to cook too, but I don't think I could handle making such elaborate meals back to back. Do you work?

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 6006/19/2012

OP, your menu sounds great.

If I were your boyfriend and saw your post, I'd probably throw up.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 6106/19/2012

It all sounds gassy.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 6206/19/2012

Please tell us what you do for a living that you have this much time on your hand to make these pretentious meals.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 6306/19/2012

I'd say cook him a great meal your first night living together, but don't stretch it out for an entire week. After that, cook like you normally would on a daily basis, with special dinners thrown in here and there. Cook what he likes, assuming you like it too. Don't expect thanks after the first couple of meals, after awhile it will just be expected that you will cook dinner and it will become routine, you won't get thanks every night.

Just remember, having expectations that are too high will ruin any relationship. You don't want to end up resenting him if he doesn't fawn over your cooking night after night after night.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 6406/20/2012

est

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 6506/20/2012

MARY!

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 6606/20/2012

There's plenty of good food you can get out of a can.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 6706/20/2012

Neurotic men who plan a whole week's menu, including side dishes and desserts are EXHAUSTING! He will find a guy into Chinese take-out the minute you run out to Whole Foods.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 6806/20/2012

Hey, OP. You sound very kind, so make sure that he appreciates you. If you cook at home, then he should book (and pay 1/2 for) your meals out. Also make sure that he's paying a fair share of the cost of your grocery bills. With your menu, you seem to be a bit light on for fruit and vegetables and a bit generous with the alcohol.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 6906/20/2012

The menu looks great; check out some of the recipes at "The Chew" to see if there are any quicker meals that you can put together, as well.

I guess the most important questions are: Who will do the dishes? Is it his turn to cook every other week? And how long can you keep this up lol?

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 7006/20/2012

r71, what is "The Chew"?

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 7106/20/2012

R72: It's a show that comes on ABC; it features a couple of chefs including 'Top Chef' competitor Carla Hall and Mario Batali. I've found their recipes to be pretty good. The show is a similar format to the 'Food Network' programs, but the multiple styles of cooking give you a range from dessert to comfort food to simple recipes. The stage also features a countdown clock, that gives you a good idea as to how long it takes to actually prepare it. Also, they definitely make an effort to simplify the recipes, but I find that they generally don't dumb it down too much so their focus is on recipes that don't require a lot of money to procure ingredients for and don't take too much time.

A link is provided below:

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 7206/20/2012

Smoked Carrot Mousse...? With a sauce? That sounds disgusting.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 7306/20/2012

quinoa salad is delicious and margherita pizza is too, but they don't really go together, try a salad without starch.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 7406/20/2012

If this guy is a NEW beau, OP, why are you moving in with him already?

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 7506/20/2012

What R46 said.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 7606/20/2012

I can't believe it took r67 replies for someone to say it.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 7706/20/2012

OP=Harriet Craig

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 7806/20/2012

beau?

gourmands?

ugghhh

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 7906/20/2012

Update please.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 8006/22/2012

OP can't update. Too busy taking care of sick boyfriend who came down with food poisoning.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 8106/22/2012

OP is sobbing cuz his beau kicked his ass out for being so suffocating.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 8206/25/2012

OP updated in a newer thread.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 8306/25/2012

[quote] OP updated in a newer thread.

Why? And where?

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 8406/25/2012

OP, I'm a professional chef. Your menus make no sense. Why on earth would you serve carrot mousse with the Puttanesca? Many of your ingredients conflict rather than complement each other. Train wreck.

There's nothing better than a perfectly roasted chicken, fingerling potatoes, and a simple salad. Forget all the bells and whistles!

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 8506/25/2012

R1 making his point, supported by R4.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 8606/25/2012

OP is a two-towel hausbottom.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 8706/25/2012

[quote] fingerling potatoes,

[quote] Forget all the bells and whistles!

[quote] I'm a professional chef.

Oh heal thyself physician!

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 8806/25/2012

I started a thread about this week's meals separately. So far everything has been delicious, and my carrot mousse really turned out well -- creamy and carrot-y!!

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 8906/25/2012

So is this stuff, OP. You coulda saved a lot of time:

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 9006/25/2012

Now that we've settled down and realized this is a troll thread (no gay man not living in a trailer would mix the root mousse with a pasta puttanesca, slipping in a whole wheat rotini to further abominate it, and no gay man living in a trailer would bother with such a menu in the first place), let's at least give the OP a polite applause on the backs of our hands a la Pilson for trying to catch us, and apparently succeeding until now.

Let it please be noted that John Dory famously does not take reservations.

Now let it go, OP.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 9106/25/2012

R89, care to elaborate on your puzzling comment?

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 9206/25/2012

[quote]no gay man not living in a trailer would mix the root mousse with a pasta puttanesca

what would you suggest in place of that?

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 9303/05/2013

Holy SHIT, OP. I'd hate to have to use the bathroom after you!

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 9403/05/2013

Tell us about your newest "beau" OP.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 9503/06/2013

your food pairings leave alot to be desired. Too much carbs also. your menu sounds like you're trying to impress while being frugal. btw, Why are you acting like a married woman? haha too funny. knock it off. its not attractive

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 9603/06/2013

A blog.

Get one.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 9703/06/2013

I assume this is the Galloping Gourmet. Fucking Freak

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 9803/06/2013

Tuesday...fettuccine Bertolli with Pepperidge Farm Texas Toast.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 9903/06/2013

What is Texas Toast? I've seen it in the stores but don't know how it's any different from putting a slice of bread in a toaster.

by Thanks for your opinionsreply 10003/06/2013
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