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How do you avoid NOT getting fecal matter on your pants/belt when taking a shit in public?

When you're at home, you can wash your hands and THEN pull up your pants/rebuckle your belt. But when you're in a public stall, you have to pull up your pants/rebuckle your belt before leaving the stall, or else you'd be standing at the sink with your pants around your ankles.

by Anonymousreply 68May 14, 2021 5:17 AM

that' s one of the good things about wearing caftans

by Anonymousreply 1June 3, 2012 9:26 PM

Oh, op...

by Anonymousreply 2June 3, 2012 9:27 PM

[quote] How do you avoid NOT getting fecal matter on your pants/belt when taking a shit in public?

Your question is a double-negative. The word "NOT" is unnecessary.

by Anonymousreply 3June 3, 2012 9:28 PM

Don't wipe with your hands. Problem solved.

by Anonymousreply 4June 3, 2012 9:31 PM

Since I use toilet paper rather than my hand to wipe, don't have your problem.

by Anonymousreply 5June 3, 2012 9:32 PM

Scoot around on the men's room floor like a d-a-w-g, OP.

by Anonymousreply 6June 3, 2012 9:33 PM

Use lots and lots of tp, OP. So your hand doesn't break through the tp barrier and touch actual poo.

Also, I always carry baby wipes in my purse. They're great for getting my hands clean after eating, refreshing my greasy face if it's too hot out, and for extra cleanliness in the powder room.

by Anonymousreply 7June 3, 2012 9:33 PM

easy make poo poo in the sink

by Anonymousreply 8June 3, 2012 9:38 PM

[quote]Also, I always carry baby wipes in my purse.

I hope you're a woman, but somehow I suspect you're not.

by Anonymousreply 9June 3, 2012 9:39 PM

Shit at home. Only losers or people suffering an illness use public restrooms for shitting, for god's sake!

by Anonymousreply 10June 3, 2012 9:40 PM

I like how thet have butt wipes at the grocery store entrance.

by Anonymousreply 11June 3, 2012 9:53 PM

just take a dump in your panties, it will dry out throughout the day, try to always stand

by Anonymousreply 12June 3, 2012 9:54 PM

OP must be very, very fat.

by Anonymousreply 13June 3, 2012 9:58 PM

Always be accompanied by a scat queen who will lick it clean.

by Anonymousreply 14June 3, 2012 9:59 PM

AMEN #10. I do not know HOW THE FUCK PEOPLE SHIT IN PUBLIC. I have never had to shit in public in my 34 years!

by Anonymousreply 15June 3, 2012 10:00 PM

Another problem Mitt Romney will solve!

by Anonymousreply 16June 3, 2012 10:02 PM

I never poop in public. I've trained myself to go at the same time every day.

by Anonymousreply 17June 3, 2012 10:09 PM

YUMMY NUMBER 14

by Anonymousreply 18June 3, 2012 10:10 PM

You people are insane. Literally.

by Anonymousreply 19June 3, 2012 10:10 PM

How does one train to poop at the same time every single day? It's an involuntary bodily function.

by Anonymousreply 20June 3, 2012 10:12 PM

R6, that was good

by Anonymousreply 21June 3, 2012 10:13 PM

I am another one who never has to take a shit when I'm in public. I go in the morning after coffee and that's usually it. Sometimes at night when I'm at home, but very rarely. I think my bowels just 'shut down' when I'm in public, like our cavemen ancestors' used to do when they went out hunting.

by Anonymousreply 22June 3, 2012 10:16 PM

[quote]How does one train to poop at the same time every single day? It's an involuntary bodily function.

Eat fiber every day. Like clockwork, every morning at exactly 6:45am that train leaves the station.

by Anonymousreply 23June 3, 2012 10:19 PM

R24 Consider yourself BANNED, cunt.

by Anonymousreply 25June 3, 2012 10:23 PM

Popp at home you Freak.

by Anonymousreply 26June 3, 2012 10:23 PM

I'm constipated now

by Anonymousreply 27June 3, 2012 10:29 PM

According to Billboard madonnas MDNA tour is expected to gross 300 million this year alone becoming the years (sorry caca) highest grossing tour. When she adds more dates in 2013 in Australia and other places she'll brake her own record for highest grossing tour by a solo artist of all time. The MDNA album is doing fine considering she didn't have time yo promote and she is in her fifties its outselling worldwide any other album by veteran artist and it also outsold the recent studio albums by britney christina and jlo not to mention mariah and janet. And madonna outsold her first date at Yankee stadium in a record breaking 20 minutes so they added another date and then a date at MSG. As for the MJ comparisons they're. about right madonna is the 4th biggest. selling artist of all time while mj is a #3 BUT. madonna is the 3rd highest grossing touring. artist and the top solo artist of all time FAR OUTGROSSING MJS NUMBERS. Haters need to deal with it.

by Anonymousreply 28June 3, 2012 10:31 PM

If I have to shit in a public bathroom it's a very bad day but lucky for me, MY MOM TAUGHT ME HOW TO USE TOILET PAPER!

by Anonymousreply 29June 3, 2012 10:34 PM

Madonna = Fecal matter?

by Anonymousreply 30June 3, 2012 10:37 PM

Why do I get a hard on while taking a shit? Please advise

by Anonymousreply 31June 3, 2012 10:43 PM

Call me, maybe

by Anonymousreply 32June 3, 2012 10:44 PM

6am. 6pm. It's just not an issue at work.

by Anonymousreply 33June 3, 2012 10:45 PM

Well, R31, shitting is a pleasurable experience, and for us men especially, because the act of shitting indirectly involves the prostate, which is next to your rectum--hence your hard-on.

by Anonymousreply 34June 3, 2012 10:47 PM

think of something sad, that should help

by Anonymousreply 35June 3, 2012 10:48 PM

Go gurl @ R31. You shit cock shaped turds, that's why, so its like he is just pullin outta you each time you take a dump. You r blessed.

by Anonymousreply 36June 3, 2012 10:52 PM

R31 is there some sort of exercise I could do? Would rather save my hard ons for the right time

by Anonymousreply 37June 3, 2012 10:54 PM

Anyone else here experience the poop shivers?

by Anonymousreply 38June 3, 2012 11:07 PM

R38 after a really really hard shit once, I had an orgasm!

by Anonymousreply 39June 3, 2012 11:17 PM

You're pathetic, r24.

by Anonymousreply 40June 3, 2012 11:23 PM

I don't know about you all, but by the time I read the ¨Op must be very, very fat¨ reply... I was laughing so hard, tears were streaming down my face.

Hilarious thread!!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 41June 3, 2012 11:34 PM

I hate taking a dump at work. Alway come out looking like I just ran a marathon.

by Anonymousreply 42June 4, 2012 12:54 AM

Our mens restroom has three stalls and the urinals but no one will use the restroom after me for 30 minutes.

by Anonymousreply 43June 4, 2012 12:58 AM

I have never met a straight guy who was bothered about taking a dump at work.

by Anonymousreply 44June 4, 2012 1:05 AM

Don't all public toilets have bidets? I mean...I really don't know...do they??

by Anonymousreply 45June 4, 2012 1:10 AM

Nut loaf

by Anonymousreply 46June 4, 2012 5:13 AM

only wear shades of brown, never a problem

by Anonymousreply 47July 5, 2012 8:53 AM

[quote]I like how thet have butt wipes at the grocery store entrance.

Yes, but they get mad if you use them in the lobby. Plus, it burns.

by Anonymousreply 48July 5, 2012 9:07 AM

Unlike these jerk wads I hav the same problem. I just use the hand I didn't whipe with to buckle my pants. If it's too hard I just pull my shirt over my pants and descreatly buckle them up when I'm done washing my hands.

by Anonymousreply 49November 17, 2014 5:44 PM

You felt so strongly on this issue, R49, the you renewed a two year old thread?

by Anonymousreply 50November 17, 2014 5:47 PM

R6. Scooting around on your asshole is called Taylor-Swifting!

by Anonymousreply 51November 17, 2014 6:10 PM

Who do you think you are, OP? Farrah Fawcett?

by Anonymousreply 52November 17, 2014 6:15 PM

[quote] or else you'd be standing at the sink with your pants around your ankles.

HOT!

by Anonymousreply 53November 17, 2014 6:23 PM

Who bumped this, the Shit Troll?

You had ONE good idea, Shit Troll, now give it a rest.

by Anonymousreply 54November 17, 2014 7:12 PM

poop poop poop!

by Anonymousreply 55November 17, 2014 7:35 PM

Honestly, OP, I have often wondered the same thing.

If we really want to stop spreading disease, there should be a wash basin beside each toilet in public rest rooms.

by Anonymousreply 56November 17, 2014 7:54 PM

It's just a matter of practice, OP!

by Anonymousreply 57November 18, 2014 12:21 AM

Why is it so hard to get your anus clean?

by Anonymousreply 58November 18, 2014 1:05 AM

R38.. Poop Shivers. You're killing me!

by Anonymousreply 59November 19, 2014 4:26 PM

Hawt

by Anonymousreply 60February 23, 2021 2:57 AM

[quote]Why do I get a hard on while taking a shit?

Because god made you a bottom, like Jesus.

by Anonymousreply 61February 23, 2021 3:34 AM

R44 My god , that's so true, straight guys will damn near take a dump almost anywhere, that has always boggled my mind. The very few times I have been forced to shit in public, it gave me PTSD for days.

by Anonymousreply 62February 23, 2021 6:10 AM

[quote] Your question is a double-negative. The word "NOT" is unnecessary.

Au contraire, OP is asking how to avoid not getting your smelly turd all over your clothing. He lives for that, and the idea that he may walk out of the stall less than completely smeared in his own excrement fills him with fear.

by Anonymousreply 63February 23, 2021 6:28 AM

Oooooofghhrgwvrgrb

by Anonymousreply 64March 16, 2021 12:37 AM

OP, the easiest way to avoid NOT getting fecal matter on your pants/belt when taking a shit in public is to take a shit directly on your pants/belt while in public.

by Anonymousreply 65March 16, 2021 12:41 AM

I was in jail for two weeks in my youth. I was determined to not use the facilities, but one day there was no choice. I did a high altitude hover which meant I was almost standing up straight at the toilet. I could feel the "impact" when it hit the bowl as it was still fully formed coming out of my ass. I was actually somewhat proud of myself and have never had a problem dropping a loaf in public since then.

by Anonymousreply 66March 16, 2021 1:25 AM

A lot of threads on scat lately...

by Anonymousreply 67March 16, 2021 1:48 AM

Ugh

by Anonymousreply 68May 14, 2021 5:17 AM
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