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How do you avoid NOT getting fecal matter on your pants/belt when taking a shit in public?

When you're at home, you can wash your hands and THEN pull up your pants/rebuckle your belt. But when you're in a public stall, you have to pull up your pants/rebuckle your belt before leaving the stall, or else you'd be standing at the sink with your pants around your ankles.

by Anonymousreply 63Last Monday at 9:28 PM

that' s one of the good things about wearing caftans

by Anonymousreply 106/03/2012

Oh, op...

by Anonymousreply 206/03/2012

[quote] How do you avoid NOT getting fecal matter on your pants/belt when taking a shit in public?

Your question is a double-negative. The word "NOT" is unnecessary.

by Anonymousreply 306/03/2012

Don't wipe with your hands. Problem solved.

by Anonymousreply 406/03/2012

Since I use toilet paper rather than my hand to wipe, don't have your problem.

by Anonymousreply 506/03/2012

Scoot around on the men's room floor like a d-a-w-g, OP.

by Anonymousreply 606/03/2012

Use lots and lots of tp, OP. So your hand doesn't break through the tp barrier and touch actual poo.

Also, I always carry baby wipes in my purse. They're great for getting my hands clean after eating, refreshing my greasy face if it's too hot out, and for extra cleanliness in the powder room.

by Anonymousreply 706/03/2012

easy make poo poo in the sink

by Anonymousreply 806/03/2012

[quote]Also, I always carry baby wipes in my purse.

I hope you're a woman, but somehow I suspect you're not.

by Anonymousreply 906/03/2012

Shit at home. Only losers or people suffering an illness use public restrooms for shitting, for god's sake!

by Anonymousreply 1006/03/2012

I like how thet have butt wipes at the grocery store entrance.

by Anonymousreply 1106/03/2012

just take a dump in your panties, it will dry out throughout the day, try to always stand

by Anonymousreply 1206/03/2012

OP must be very, very fat.

by Anonymousreply 1306/03/2012

Always be accompanied by a scat queen who will lick it clean.

by Anonymousreply 1406/03/2012

AMEN #10. I do not know HOW THE FUCK PEOPLE SHIT IN PUBLIC. I have never had to shit in public in my 34 years!

by Anonymousreply 1506/03/2012

Another problem Mitt Romney will solve!

by Anonymousreply 1606/03/2012

I never poop in public. I've trained myself to go at the same time every day.

by Anonymousreply 1706/03/2012

YUMMY NUMBER 14

by Anonymousreply 1806/03/2012

You people are insane. Literally.

by Anonymousreply 1906/03/2012

How does one train to poop at the same time every single day? It's an involuntary bodily function.

by Anonymousreply 2006/03/2012

R6, that was good

by Anonymousreply 2106/03/2012

I am another one who never has to take a shit when I'm in public. I go in the morning after coffee and that's usually it. Sometimes at night when I'm at home, but very rarely. I think my bowels just 'shut down' when I'm in public, like our cavemen ancestors' used to do when they went out hunting.

by Anonymousreply 2206/03/2012

[quote]How does one train to poop at the same time every single day? It's an involuntary bodily function.

Eat fiber every day. Like clockwork, every morning at exactly 6:45am that train leaves the station.

by Anonymousreply 2306/03/2012

R24 Consider yourself BANNED, cunt.

by Anonymousreply 2506/03/2012

Popp at home you Freak.

by Anonymousreply 2606/03/2012

I'm constipated now

by Anonymousreply 2706/03/2012

According to Billboard madonnas MDNA tour is expected to gross 300 million this year alone becoming the years (sorry caca) highest grossing tour. When she adds more dates in 2013 in Australia and other places she'll brake her own record for highest grossing tour by a solo artist of all time. The MDNA album is doing fine considering she didn't have time yo promote and she is in her fifties its outselling worldwide any other album by veteran artist and it also outsold the recent studio albums by britney christina and jlo not to mention mariah and janet. And madonna outsold her first date at Yankee stadium in a record breaking 20 minutes so they added another date and then a date at MSG. As for the MJ comparisons they're. about right madonna is the 4th biggest. selling artist of all time while mj is a #3 BUT. madonna is the 3rd highest grossing touring. artist and the top solo artist of all time FAR OUTGROSSING MJS NUMBERS. Haters need to deal with it.

by Anonymousreply 2806/03/2012

If I have to shit in a public bathroom it's a very bad day but lucky for me, MY MOM TAUGHT ME HOW TO USE TOILET PAPER!

by Anonymousreply 2906/03/2012

Madonna = Fecal matter?

by Anonymousreply 3006/03/2012

Why do I get a hard on while taking a shit? Please advise

by Anonymousreply 3106/03/2012

Call me, maybe

by Anonymousreply 3206/03/2012

6am. 6pm. It's just not an issue at work.

by Anonymousreply 3306/03/2012

Well, R31, shitting is a pleasurable experience, and for us men especially, because the act of shitting indirectly involves the prostate, which is next to your rectum--hence your hard-on.

by Anonymousreply 3406/03/2012

think of something sad, that should help

by Anonymousreply 3506/03/2012

Go gurl @ R31. You shit cock shaped turds, that's why, so its like he is just pullin outta you each time you take a dump. You r blessed.

by Anonymousreply 3606/03/2012

R31 is there some sort of exercise I could do? Would rather save my hard ons for the right time

by Anonymousreply 3706/03/2012

Anyone else here experience the poop shivers?

by Anonymousreply 3806/03/2012

R38 after a really really hard shit once, I had an orgasm!

by Anonymousreply 3906/03/2012

You're pathetic, r24.

by Anonymousreply 4006/03/2012

I don't know about you all, but by the time I read the ¨Op must be very, very fat¨ reply... I was laughing so hard, tears were streaming down my face.

Hilarious thread!!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 4106/03/2012

I hate taking a dump at work. Alway come out looking like I just ran a marathon.

by Anonymousreply 4206/03/2012

Our mens restroom has three stalls and the urinals but no one will use the restroom after me for 30 minutes.

by Anonymousreply 4306/03/2012

I have never met a straight guy who was bothered about taking a dump at work.

by Anonymousreply 4406/03/2012

Don't all public toilets have bidets? I mean...I really don't know...do they??

by Anonymousreply 4506/03/2012

Nut loaf

by Anonymousreply 4606/03/2012

only wear shades of brown, never a problem

by Anonymousreply 4707/04/2012

[quote]I like how thet have butt wipes at the grocery store entrance.

Yes, but they get mad if you use them in the lobby. Plus, it burns.

by Anonymousreply 4807/05/2012

Unlike these jerk wads I hav the same problem. I just use the hand I didn't whipe with to buckle my pants. If it's too hard I just pull my shirt over my pants and descreatly buckle them up when I'm done washing my hands.

by Anonymousreply 4911/17/2014

You felt so strongly on this issue, R49, the you renewed a two year old thread?

by Anonymousreply 5011/17/2014

R6. Scooting around on your asshole is called Taylor-Swifting!

by Anonymousreply 5111/17/2014

Who do you think you are, OP? Farrah Fawcett?

by Anonymousreply 5211/17/2014

[quote] or else you'd be standing at the sink with your pants around your ankles.

HOT!

by Anonymousreply 5311/17/2014

Who bumped this, the Shit Troll?

You had ONE good idea, Shit Troll, now give it a rest.

by Anonymousreply 5411/17/2014

poop poop poop!

by Anonymousreply 5511/17/2014

Honestly, OP, I have often wondered the same thing.

If we really want to stop spreading disease, there should be a wash basin beside each toilet in public rest rooms.

by Anonymousreply 5611/17/2014

It's just a matter of practice, OP!

by Anonymousreply 5711/17/2014

Why is it so hard to get your anus clean?

by Anonymousreply 5811/17/2014

R38.. Poop Shivers. You're killing me!

by Anonymousreply 5911/19/2014

Hawt

by Anonymousreply 60Last Monday at 5:57 PM

[quote]Why do I get a hard on while taking a shit?

Because god made you a bottom, like Jesus.

by Anonymousreply 61Last Monday at 6:34 PM

R44 My god , that's so true, straight guys will damn near take a dump almost anywhere, that has always boggled my mind. The very few times I have been forced to shit in public, it gave me PTSD for days.

by Anonymousreply 62Last Monday at 9:10 PM

[quote] Your question is a double-negative. The word "NOT" is unnecessary.

Au contraire, OP is asking how to avoid not getting your smelly turd all over your clothing. He lives for that, and the idea that he may walk out of the stall less than completely smeared in his own excrement fills him with fear.

by Anonymousreply 63Last Monday at 9:28 PM
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