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Refusing money left to you in a will

I would assume a person can do this? And of they can, does anyone know how they would go about it?

I was left money that there is absolutely no way I can, or will, accept.  I can't accept it and donate it to charity either.

by Anonymousreply 4907/25/2013

Are there other heirs? Maybe you can sign it over to them. Who does the will stipulate as a secondary heir if you die before the estate is settled.

by Anonymousreply 105/16/2012

I know; I googled.

by Anonymousreply 205/16/2012

I haven't seen the will, only been told I am in it, it was left to me by a person I didn't know very well, or very long, so I couldn't even guess how it would have been written.

by Anonymousreply 305/16/2012

Why, op? Why can't you donate it? If you can't donate it, why not enjoy spending the lot amount on making others happy? Buy a high school all their band uniforms, buy cars for people who deserve them but can't afford them, take care of dining tabs for strangers, buy a park playground equipment, send a church group on a mission, randomly hand out money. Whatever you choose you'll be making others really happy.

Not accepting an inheritance makes no sense to me. Please help me to understand, op.

by Anonymousreply 405/16/2012

Ditto r4's comments!

Perhaps OP is on some sort of public benefit and cant risk losing it if he comes into even a modest sum of money?

What you want to do op is "renounce" the bequest. Tell the lawyers administrating the probate and they will give you a form to sign. The "remainder beneficiaries" will get your bequest or it will pass pursuant to the rules that exist if there was no will.

by Anonymousreply 505/16/2012

Just asked my friend who is a lawyer and R5 is right about how to not accept the money.

I also want to know why you can't accept the money and do something good with it.

I hate it when people won't spill their own gossip

by Anonymousreply 605/16/2012

You should be able to disclaim an inheritance. It involves filing statements within a certain period of time after the death of the benefactor. The statement clarifies that you do not accept the bequest and have received no benefit from it -- that you have never had your hands on it, in effect. By disclaiming, you have no say in what happens relative contingent beneficiaries, etc.

by Anonymousreply 705/16/2012

Just say "I renounce thee" three times while spinning around, then spit. All done.

by Anonymousreply 805/16/2012

My partner may come into a fair amoutn from the sale of real estate when his father dies, but no more than $50-$80K. This would automatically put him over the ADAP limit for assets, and he'd (we'd) have to pay for his HIV meds. I'm not OP but I needed this question answered.

by Anonymousreply 905/16/2012

R9, why shouldn't your partner accept the money and use it to pay for his own HIV meds, rather than make the government do it?

by Anonymousreply 1005/16/2012

Thank you, I never thought about losing benefits due to a small inheritance. Great advice here.

by Anonymousreply 1105/16/2012

My guess, r10, is that the money would run out quickly and getting back into the system could prove difficult/challenging. Unfortunately, our system is flawed, so situations like this are a reality.

by Anonymousreply 1205/16/2012

R10, because after it's depleted he may not be able to get back on.

by Anonymousreply 1305/16/2012

Thanks for explaining, R9. Such a flawed system.

by Anonymousreply 1405/16/2012

Thanks for the advice. I didn't put the reason I can't accept the inheritance in my original post because it would have sounded very EST like and I was in a panic trying to figure out what to do when I posted my questions, and thought I wouldn't have gotten a decent answer for a while.

The super short version is that I can't accept the inheritance because it comes from the mother of the guy who stalked me for five years, and after everything he did (enough for a gay Lifetime mini series) I don't trust that there is any way to accept this inheritance without the chance of him coming back into my life. I know how melodramatic it sounds but I went thru hell, and ten years of therapy, because of him. My mom has friends who knew his mother. From what my mother has told me his mother had some form of dementia, that wasn't Alzheimer's, for 3-4 yrs. and Doug (stalker) moved in with her "to take care of her". He used her dementia to cut her off from her other children, and most of her friends, took advantage of her while she was alive and managed to get her to change her will leaving him something like 85% of what she had, cutting his sisters their children out of the will. Somehow, despite everything that I have done to make sure that he would never be able to find me, I came into work this morning to find a letter from his lawyers office letting me know of the inheritance sitting on my desk.

by Anonymousreply 1505/16/2012

Holy shit OP/R15, that's horrible and it changes everything.

If you do get in contact with his lawyer then this guy is going to know that he has the right address for your employer right?

On one hand there might be a small chance that this guy is over you, and his obsession with you. But then why would he have gone thru whatever it took to have his mother cut her kids out of the will and put you in if you were totaly out of his thoughts?

Maybe he is over you and this was the only way he could repay the damage he had done?

I don't know what happens if you do nothing, but I would think from the stalker's point of view if you respond in any way he'll know he's got the right address for you. Then the shit would start up again for you.

I hope one of the other posters can give you some advice. I don't know what I'd do if I were you.

Maybe one of the legal types here could tell you if the lawyer would be not alowed to tell the stalker about any contact with you once he knows about him being a crazy assed stalker? Then again, maybe he knows that he stalked you years ago and thinks the stalker is over you?

Now I want to know the whole story.PLEASE

by Anonymousreply 1605/16/2012

Wow, op! I hope you'll share more. Sounds like you could write a screenplay. Sorry he's made your life hell and I hope this all turns out ok for you. If he did indeed get his mom to write the other children out of the will it would be nice for them to get your chunk. Of course, maybe it's not monetary. Maybe youre inheriting her Hummel collection Also, are you sure the letter was legit? Stalkers pull all kinds of s*it. Good luck. I hope someone can help you out here. Keep us posted.

by Anonymousreply 1705/16/2012

r10 the government isn't gving him the money. It's you, me, and every other taxpayer.

by Anonymousreply 1805/16/2012

OP? I would suggest YOU get your own lawyer for this.

by Anonymousreply 1905/16/2012

Haha, R18. It's a common assumption among freeloaders that "the government" is a filthy rich wizard who lives on a mountain top.

by Anonymousreply 2005/16/2012

Oh, please, r18. Does you really think that a significant percentage of each tax dollar is going to fund HIV meds? It can't be more than, what?, 0.00001 cents of every dollar, if that. I'd rather my tax money be used on HIV medication that saves lives than on unmanned drones that kill innocent women and children.

Good luck, OP. Not sure what I would do in your situation. I second the idea of talking to a lawyer (not the one administering the will) to find out the best course of action for keeping your contact info private.

by Anonymousreply 2105/16/2012

Why am I always surprised by the mental drama on this board?

I live such an ordinary life. No stalkers, no alcoholics, no former partner with narcissistic personality disorder, no sociopaths, no bipolar disease, no Aspergers, no dramatic drawn-out breakups, no obsession with crimes/serial killers, no reality tv addiction, no food obsessiveness.

I wonder how to spice up my life? Should I try to find some mentally ill people to share my life? Eat too much junk, or eat nothing but home grown organics? Break up with my partner of 15 years after a lot of unnecessary theatrics? Then move I with the first person I meet at a bar?

by Anonymousreply 2205/16/2012

R22, be thankful.

by Anonymousreply 2305/16/2012

Look into establishing a blind trust and whether you could accept the inheritance via that method.

by Anonymousreply 2405/16/2012

I didn't read the other posts so maybe this has been answered....You just contact the lawyer or whoever is dispersing the funds and decline it. Most trusts and will are set up so that if an heir declines or dies before the other is specified would happens to the sum.

You don't get to say who you want it to go to. You have to follow the rules set forth in the document.

by Anonymousreply 2505/16/2012

[quote]No stalkers

Most of the people here who claim they have stalkers don't actually have stalkers.

by Anonymousreply 2605/16/2012

If you're giving it away, I'll take it.

by Anonymousreply 2705/16/2012

OP, speak to the personal representative or executor of the will. You will have to sign something like a quitclaim deed in which you renounce your claim on the inheritance. Then your rights will be assigned to the other heirs. If there are no other heirs, the personal rep will decide how to disperse the money, most likely by donating it to charity.

by Anonymousreply 2805/16/2012

R10 I have the answer to that question. He's a Democrat, and he believes that he is entitled to have the government pay for his meds. The thought of actually paying for something like life sustaining medication is unthinkable when the government just sends it to him for free!

R9 can be a poster boy for the Democratic National Committee.

by Anonymousreply 2905/16/2012

If you want to refuse (disclaim) an inheritance to maintain eligibility for certain benefits, consult an attorney or benefits expert now - don't wait until the testator dies. (And don't just follow random advice on the internet.) When you have "ownership" of an inheritance will depend on the law in your state - and once you have ownership any means-tested benefit may be impacted.

For some benefits, (ie SSI) giving away a resource is against the rules and you will be penalized for it - you'll lose benefits equal to the value of the property you gave away.

But the rules can vary state to state and will depend on the type of benefit in question. In CA, there is no asset limit for ADAP, just an income limit so an inheritance has no impact on ADAP eligibility here.

by Anonymousreply 3005/16/2012

[quote] Most of the people here who claim they have stalkers don't actually have stalkers.

Why do they claim to have stalkers? For the drama?

by Anonymousreply 3105/16/2012

It makes them feel attractive and important. (plus they are mentally ill or coked up.) I once lived in apartment building where a woman accused me of stalking her. I was upset and told the manager of the building and she said oh she says that about everyone, don't worry. (and she gave me a new sink for my trouble!)

by Anonymousreply 3205/16/2012

R29 is apparently too dense to understand that we have such a fucked up healthcare system in the US that few people who aren't rich or with the kind of health insurance Congress gives itself can afford HIV meds longterm.

In a system that made any kind of logical sense, the meds would be a reasonable price, something like what they cost in Canada, which would make them much more affordable.

And in a fair system, someone like R9's partner, who is on a program to receive meds, could either donate the inheritance to the program or could take a leave of absence from the program and use the inheritance to pay for his meds until the money runs out.

But in our system, which is set up with its primary purpose not to provide meds to sick people, but to earn profits for the pharmaceutical industry, if he leaves the program, there is every likelihood he will not be approved to rejoin it when the funds are exhausted and he will have to die.

Remember, Harvard Medical School conducted a study that says 40,000 Americans die needlessly every year, only because they cannot afford routine healthcare that would keep them alive.

Many of those people work and work hard and have done nothing wrong, they just don't have a job or jobs that provide health insurance and they don't make enough to pay the unconscionable markups for drugs that are vastly cheaper in Canada.

by Anonymousreply 3305/16/2012

R29 wins the festering cunt and diseased mind award. Its smell carries across the internet.

by Anonymousreply 3405/17/2012

R29, Republicans are just as likely to do that as Democrats. (The Republicans will just bitch more about their own taxes while sticking their hands out.) Use of governmental entitlement programs is as high in red states as blue, and the red states "take" more from the government than they "give" in terms of taxes.

by Anonymousreply 3505/17/2012


Stalker dude may be the executor of the will.

If stalker dude is truly psycho - he got his mom to change her will to include OP and had her name him executor so that he could be sure to have a way to locate OP again.

I'd get a lawyer to handle this situation OP - don't communicate with anyone, including a lawyer/firm, involved in this situation. This will protect your privacy - if it hasn't already been comprimised.

Tell your lawyer about the stalking. He will then inform stalker dudes lawyer about the situation and why you won't deal directly with estate. Stalker dudes lawyer will then have an ethical situation on his hands - he cannot assist stalker dude in stalking you.

by Anonymousreply 3605/17/2012

You are an idiot; take the money and do someone some good with it and shut up.

by Anonymousreply 3705/17/2012

I have an appointment with a lawyer at lunch time. Thanks for the advice. I'd rather he think that I can't be found. Hopefully he's over what made him act that way, but I'm not taking any chances.

R22 R26 r31 R32 you might not believe stalkers exist and that's fine with me. I hope you never have to find out differently.

by Anonymousreply 3805/17/2012

OP, I wish there was a way you could somehow redirect the money back to his siblings that he disinherited without him knowing your whereabouts. That would be so poetic.

by Anonymousreply 3905/17/2012

"Haha, [R18]. It's a common assumption among freeloaders that "the government" is a filthy rich wizard who lives on a mountain top"

No, r20 - the most common assumption amongst the very worst of the freeloaders is that "the government" is a disgusting drain on their "hard-earned" inherited fortunes...unless they are "the government"

And, please, don't start a post with "Haha" - it makes you sound demented.

by Anonymousreply 4005/17/2012

[quote] I have the answer to that question. He's a Democrat, and he believes that he is entitled to have the government pay for his meds. The thought of actually paying for something like life sustaining medication is unthinkable when the government just sends it to him for free!

Wow, so wrong, hateful, and illogical. I love how Republicans genetically believe the only person who's greedy and degraded enough to accept help paying for the exorbitantly priced drugs to keep themselves alive, is the average Democrat. Getting assistance like ADAP is governed by rules in each state. It's quite difficult to navigate the system, all the while either choosing medicine over food ad rent (it's pricier than both together), or just get sicker waiting for the bureaucracy to work itself out! Typical asshole who knows what's in everyone's mind.

by Anonymousreply 4105/17/2012

Gift the inheritance to me, for my gastric bypass and muffin top removal.

by Anonymousreply 4205/17/2012

I stumbled upon this post while researching the best, responsible thing to do with any funds left to me. I would rather continue my fathers idea of saving and securing a future, as he did but will be unable to use. My father was diagnosed with ALS/Lou Gerhigs disease last year and has been declining quickly.

While I understand that people are entitled to their own opinion, I am truly ashamed that there are still human beings that choose to be so hurtful and abrasive to speak their minds about issues unrelated to the original post... For what, to push their own beliefs and agenda on boards such as this because you think you can change people's mind?

While I found it interesting that this person was not wanting to accept this inheritance, that was her choice and was glad some were able to offer some suggestions. But, the responses to the question asked by another poster, in my mentally sound, drama free way of thinking... Were nothing more than distasteful, uneducated, and closed minded. Instead of a person... who claims to know how someone should manage their money, pay their bills, and pay for medical expenses that we know is nothing more than price gouging... Using their opinions to belittle, and judge others, perhaps their strong feelings on the matter could be better used to help fix our healthcare system. Unless that is... You're posting here because no one else will listen to you.

I live in a family of hard working individuals, my grandfather was a member of the CCCs, and a retired postal worker. He passed away and my grandmother has had no choice but to drain every penny to pay for her medicines and expenses that insurance will not cover.

Why should my father, who worked his fingers to the bone and was not ready to retire when he was suddenly hit with an illness that doctors cannot explain or help, have to pay out of his hard earned money he was saving for his dreams of traveling the world, just because he happened to be that 1 in 100,000? Now instead of dreaming of living to see his grand kids grow and marry, he is withering away, and there is NO medicine to help him.

If someone has been given money due to the loss of a loved one, or unloved one ;) that doesn't mean they should use that money to pay for medical expenses. It should be used as the deceased intended it. And truthfully, if you're so passionate about your views on people using the system to benefit them, and you honestly feel you're paying through your tax dollars, then you obviously haven't had to suffer a loss, disease, or scary situation as some may have.

I too, being of sound mind, and full of love and compassion had an evil step father who DID in fact stalk us. Tried to kill us, and in the midst of that, my 16 year old brother stayed in a coma for 2 weeks from an accident where he was not the driver. But, that being said, someone treating others as though they were shit on the sidewalk by someone who hasn't experienced the same fear.... All I can say is good luck.

It's the uneducated, closed minded, lack of morals that will lead you to your destiny, or perhaps, again.... That's why you're spewing your venom here and not some place it actually matters?

Good luck to the two posters with the dilemmas, and hope all worked out the way God intended.

by Anonymousreply 4307/23/2013

r43 - On average, how long after you meet someone do you spew all your messy family business at them? First meeting, I'm guessing.

by Anonymousreply 4407/23/2013

R44 - when do people realize you are an unsympathetic dick?

Before actually meeting you, probably...

by Anonymousreply 4507/24/2013

I'm going to leave a will leaving everything to my worst enemy, along with bloodstains and other signs that the will change was coerced so that somebody will charge the fucker with my murder.

by Anonymousreply 4607/25/2013

If the lawyer can find him, the alleged stalker can find him.

by Anonymousreply 4707/25/2013

If the lawyer found you, so could the alleged stalker if he really wanted to do so.

by Anonymousreply 4807/25/2013

It's just that R18 felt very strongly about it R43.

So sorry to hear about your father, such a devastating illness.

by Anonymousreply 4907/25/2013
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