Harrowing Story of Anti-Gay Prejudice
A video posted yesterday has become viral on Youtube.
On it a young gay man who lost his committed partner of 6 years accounts how his partner died in an accident this time last year and the horrific details of how the deceased lover's homophobic family acted afterwards.
When the lover went home for Christmas to come out to his family, the reaction was less than stellar. The mother asked why he hadn't told them sooner...so they can get him medical help. The father took it worse. He threatened him with a gun and became violent. The boyfriend had to flee his home in terror.
Then last year, May 7th 2011, he died and the bitch mother flew to California to collect his body and his belongings. She did not regard his partner for 6 years. Did not take his feelings into consideration at all. She just took all his stuff and left it up to him to arrange for his body to be transported back to Indiana.
Well, naturally, the partner wanted to attend the funeral in Indiana to pay his respects and say goodbye. He flew out but during his layover he got a call from a family member and they told him to not show up. Basically the father and an uncle had planned to physically assault him if he showed up. During the service they completely cut out the last 6 years of his life, as if it never happened.
Oh, and the two of them bought a house together and started a company together. They had a fucking LIFE together and because they had no LEGAL bond in the eyes of our FUCKED UP government, the partner had no claim on ANYTHING he shared with the love of his life.
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 70||12/01/2014|
R1, try this website to find your partner's grave.
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 21||05/09/2012|
Very sad. But how exactly did he die? I understand he fell off a roof???
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 22||05/09/2012|
He fell off a 4th floor balcony while photographing a model.
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 23||05/09/2012|
Oh jeez. Horrible. I wish they had said that in the video. (It left open the possibility of too much drinking at a party or something...)
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 24||05/09/2012|
The video was a bit self-serving, anachronistic and in need of editing; however, it was still effective.
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 26||05/09/2012|
If all this is true, it's heartbreaking. I do note that there's a Facebook post out there from a month before the death where the mom commented on a post of a video containing her son's boyfriend. (It wasn't a negative comment, leading me to believe she didn't hate her son-in-law.) So perhaps she was a little more accepting than her husband was.
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 28||05/09/2012|
Thanks for the reality check, R12. If they didn't avail themselves of the legal options available to them, then the death and the family's reaction are no less tragic, but the latter was, in fact, avoidable.
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 30||05/09/2012|
[quote]He fell off a 4th floor balcony while photographing a model.
So I guess he was shooting away backing up and got to close to the edge. You'd think the model would have noticed and warned him.
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 31||05/09/2012|
I thought that the editing of the video very much implied that Tom had committed suicide by jumping off the roof as a result of having been rejected by his family during Christmas. Was I alone in that impression?
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 33||05/09/2012|
No, I thought that too, R33.
I agree with the others that the video is mawkish and self-serving. Obviously intended to pull at our heartstrings. But it IS a tragic story and one that needs to be told. I just wish it had been told better with less emphasis on the surviving partner and his tears.
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 34||05/09/2012|
Has Shane explained why they didn't register as domestic partners since California has domestic partner laws? They were so young they may have thought they would get around to it eventually.
Not that it's going to bring his partner back, but it would have made things easier on Shane.
It's certainly an object lesson in being prepared by protecting your partner in your will and your living will, and availing yourself of any available legal resources.
It's a sad story.
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 36||05/10/2012|
If/when you get a significant other in your life and you decide that it's really serious...get every legal protection that your state can possibly allow to ensure something like this never happens to you.
Even if you live in a state like North Carolina, you can still get wills made that make sure that your partner handles all your affairs if you pass.
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 40||05/10/2012|
Agree with R40. Also, along with your wills, each of you should have your attorney draw up Five Wishes (or living wills and a health care power of attorney in the states that do not recognize Five Wishes) and copies of those documents should be in your medical charts, with your lawyers and in the possession of both individuals involved. Those documents give your partner far more power and make it difficult for a parent to do what was done in this case.
This is not only true for same-sex couples, it also applies to partners who are not legally married.
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 41||05/10/2012|
OP? It's no longer the 1970s. Nobody uses the term "lover" today.
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 54||09/11/2012|
There is a documentary out about the story.
Sorry for the Buzzfeed link but it's the only one I could find where one can watch the trailer.
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 60||10/03/2013|
[quote] the bitch mother flew to California to collect his body and his belongings.
What did the wonderful, respectful, honorable father do?
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 61||10/03/2013|
[quote]She just took all his stuff and left it up to him to arrange for his body to be transported back to Indiana.
WTF? If the surviving partner cooperated he has no one to blame but himself. In California gay people have rights if they are in a domestic partnership or marriage. The parents can do nothing in California to take those rights away. If these 2 were in a committed relationship for years they should have protected themselves. It cost my partner and me almost nothing to have a domestic partnership agreement. The state provides the docs for you. Neither of our parents can take away those rights in this state now that we have taken steps to protect ourselves.
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 62||10/03/2013|
That's by far the worst thing about being gay: dealing with a stepfamily who openly or secretly hate you, this always happens if your partner came out late in life and has an ex-wife and children - avoid those types at all costs for the sake of your own sanity. You'll be better of remaining single.
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 64||10/17/2013|
Tried watching Bridegroom. The story of what happened is awful but the film is unwatchable. Syrupy score and the stories about the surviving one thinking he had AIDS after watching Philadelphia was just too stupid to sit through.
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 65||11/02/2013|
The parents Martha and Norman Bridegroom live in Knox Indiana Maybe people should contact them to let them know how many many people feel
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 66||01/21/2014|
God bless you Shane. Your story touched me in a way I have not experienced before. Keep up the good fight - there are so many of us marching right along side of you and we shall be there for as long as it takes. You were the very best part of Tom's life and made him profoundly happy. I know the reverse is also true; that is what we all wish for in life and you two really, really had it. tap, tap, tap
|by This needs to fucking END||reply 68||11/30/2014|