How many more years do you want to live?
My mom will be 82 this year. While talking with Mom on the phone the other day she relayed that her doctor said everything was fine. She gets a check-up every six months.
When I remarked that she was going to live long, like her grandmother who lived until age 97, she said she didn't think she wants that even though she's financially sound and still gets out and around.
It got me wondering - how much longer do you want to live (assuming good health, etc.)? Is there something about the future, impending changes you anticipate, that you really don't want to experience?
I work two jobs, both in dying industries. I hope they hold out longer than my employment needs.
|by Anonymous||reply 89||08/02/2013|
I'm 45. I would like to live 35 - 40 more years.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||03/20/2012|
I don't think I'm gonna die. Just a hunch, but I think i have a cure. MAYBE! Time will tell.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||03/20/2012|
I have chronic kidney disease. My kidneys will eventually fail within the next ten years, and I don't really want to live beyond that, stuck to a dialysis machine for the rest of my days.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||03/20/2012|
I have always pictured myself living into my early 90s. I'm in pretty good shape and think I have a shot of making it. That means another 45 years or so.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||03/20/2012|
My mother is 65. She has some health issues that are chronic, but she is basically in good health and very independent. She said she wants to be able to be independent and functioning. No wheelchair or oxygen tanks for her. If she ever gets to the point where she can't toilet or bathe herself she wants to check out. She calls it qyuality of life. Once life is no longer enjoyable, but becomes a burden to her and her loved ones she wants out. She figures anytime after 85.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||03/20/2012|
I have no children and don't expect I will have any money when I have to stop working (hopefully I can work until 70) - I'm thinking I'm going to have to have a plan to be able to take my own life when the time comes - when that will be I don't know - I hope to have enough savings to at least live a few months or years without working.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||03/20/2012|
I thought my Mom would make to 3 digits. She died unexpectantly at age 85.
My Dad died when he was 96. It would have been better if he had passed a few years sooner, his light just slowly faded out.
I am 54 but have some health issues. I want to live for as long as I feel well and have my partner (of 24 years).
|by Anonymous||reply 7||03/20/2012|
I want to live up to but not a day beyond however long I can take care of myself. If that means 50 or 95, fine, as long as I can live without needing to be fed and wiped by someone else. If there's no living in my life, I'm done.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||03/20/2012|
I second R1.
My father lived to 81. He was relatively healthy until the end where he just dropped over dead one day. A perfect way to go if you ask me.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||03/20/2012|
I need some eldergay dick. HMU girl, if you know what that means.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||03/20/2012|
R9, my dad did the same pretty much. He was struggling with some health issues but was still moving under his own power until he just dropped walking in the door one day.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||03/20/2012|
At least 120.
My mother is 95, goes to gym, emails, reads Time, Vanity Fair, Hello, and two newspapers a day as well as the latest books, attends fashion parades, is still slim and quite chic (jeans & kneeboots for casual; knee-length cocktail coats & with slacks & boots for evening), and has no desire to die anytime soon. The thought appals her.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||03/20/2012|
I have known since I was a small child that I would see my 100th birthday. I'm scared.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||03/20/2012|
I just want to live to see 40!
|by Anonymous||reply 15||03/20/2012|
I'm 49, about to turn to 50. I can't imagine what that's going to be like (I know, just another day.)
But you can lie to yourself about a lot of things in your 20s, 30s and even your 40s.
But once you're in your 50s all the youthful parts are gone.
I'm hoping it'll be a fun decade, but I'm also hoping it'll be a profitable one.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||03/20/2012|
My parents are in their 70s and have excellent overall health. I can remember when I was much younger hearing my mother say she only wanted to live to 70. She's 74 now, but I think she's generally happy with her health although she has chronic insomnia and arthritis.
My problems are with depression. I'm 47 and frequently consider ending my life. I go through spells where I'm okay about things then not. I'm not sure how long I want to live I guess.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||03/20/2012|
R6, do you live in the United States? If you do, you will have social security when you hit 62 or after to live on, yes?
One can live on monthly social security. I do it and enjoy life.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||03/20/2012|
r12 = Zelda Kaplan's gay son.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||03/20/2012|
My pop took poor care of himself, a thoroughly malicious SOB, and lived to 80. Mom lived to 92. A favorite aunt, 98. I have other relatives who lived well into their 90's, and a few including a sibling who died relatively young. A sister has gone downhill rapidly with MS, but the jury's undecided on longevity with that disease.
At 59, I take excellent care of myself, I'm sort of a good spirited guy with a lot left to contribute to the world. I want to balance my pop's very bad karma in the world somehow by outliving him.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||03/20/2012|
My grandmother died at 73 of heart disease. Felt ill, went to bed. Died.
My mom (her daughter) at 69. Didn't feel well. Went to sleep. Died of a heart attack in her sleep.
Neither smoked or drank. They both were physically active.
If I see 65, I figure I'll be lucky.
(Grandfather lived to 96, tho, and my aunts and uncles are all in their 80s)
|by Anonymous||reply 21||03/20/2012|
My great-grandfather, born around 1840, lived into his 90's. My youngest-dying ancestor that I know of was in her 70's. My dad is 85 and my mom is 80.
At 57, I expect I'll be around for a while, barring any mishaps.
I only hope I won't be totally bored or brain dead before the end. Although, I suppose brain dead would be preferable, since I wouldn't give a shit.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||03/20/2012|
Did any of you get to see your great-grandfather/great-grandmother? If yeah, do you remember them?
|by Anonymous||reply 23||03/20/2012|
All of my great-grandparents were dead about 30 years before I was born. but my still-living parents have five great-grandchildren, the oldest of whom will start high school next fall.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||03/20/2012|
Thanks for sharing that, R24! So, that would make you either a great-uncle or great-aunt to those kids, right? Do any of them have a close relationship with your parents?
|by Anonymous||reply 25||03/20/2012|
I knew one of my great-grandmothers. She died when I was 11 or 12 years old - she was 97. She used to babysit me and my brother when we were young. We'd sneak downstairs to watch her, sitting in her rocker in front of the tv, usually doing embroidery or tatting lace. If she spotted us she'd holler a little and wave her cane at us so we'd scamper back upstairs.
One day a week she'd bake the week's supply. Her bread always came out perfect. We still use her sugar cookie recipe for holiday cookies.
The most amazing thing is she had almost no gray or white in her hair. It kept its jet black color (and no, she didn't color it).
|by Anonymous||reply 26||03/20/2012|
I'm looking forward to my final years, sitting in a vintage, wicker wheelchair with a woolen blanket over my lap, watching the birds fly by, and making soft, chewing noises with my mouth in my blissful oblivion.
|by Anonymous||reply 27||03/20/2012|
She sounds like she was a hoot, R26. Was she Russian?
|by Anonymous||reply 28||03/20/2012|
I knew two of my great-grandparents, who were my maternal grandfather's parents. She lived until I was 6 and he until I was 7. I remember them well and loved them both, and have some sweet and funny memories of both of them.
My maternal grandparents and plenty of relatives on that side lived to their late 80s and into their 90s, and several are still alive and healthy and completely mentally capable.
My father's side of the family died in their 60s and 70s, but there was a lot of smoking, obesity, and other neglect there that indicates they probably could have lived longer with better health habits.
I don't personally care about age, and I love being alive, so I'd like to live as long as I'm healthy and have all my mental faculties and can take care of myself.
I'm 57 now and I'm an artist, which means not only am I always making new things, not all of which sells right away, and I also am always accumulating things to incorporate into my art, so I have tons of my art and other people's art, along with many, many objects and materials no one but another artist would understand.
So I vacillate between working hard to downsize my life of extraneous things so my relatives don't have an enormous job when I'm dead, and saying fuck it, they'll get a windfall when they inherit everything, so let them earn it.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||03/20/2012|
>> do you live in the United States? If you do, you will have social security when you hit 62 or after to live on, yes?
I think you have to be 70
|by Anonymous||reply 30||03/20/2012|
I'm 37 now and I don't think I want to live beyond 60. The thought of being old, ignored, and unable to do the things I enjoy today depresses me. I'll wait until my son's an adult and then make preparations to pleasantly overdose when I decide I'm over it and it's time to check out.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||03/20/2012|
I'm also 37. I want to live forever!
|by Anonymous||reply 32||03/20/2012|
R30, social security monthly payments start at 62 if one chooses.
Or one may choose to wait until older if one wants a higher payment.
I started my monthly social security at age 62 which was two years ago.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||03/20/2012|
I knew one of my great grandfathers. He was around until I was nine or so. I'm not sure how old he was when he died. But he was fairly spry and got around despite having been a lifelong smoker. He lived with one of his daughters and visited my grandmother (another daughter) fairly regularly.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||03/20/2012|
We plan to go into our mid-90s.
(We knew a fabulous eldersister who was still slurping on pingas at 92!)
|by Anonymous||reply 36||03/21/2012|
I've never said this out loud, but I've always suspected that the whole universe is a figment of my own imagination and that I'm an immortal being.
|by Anonymous||reply 37||03/21/2012|
Our great grandfather, just shy of his 100th birthday, used to walk to the local pub in Ireland every night after dinner for his night-cap.
One night he went to the pub, came home, sat down in his rocking chair, rocked a bit...and was gone.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||03/21/2012|
Not Russian at all, R28. She was from Ohio but of Yankee stock. One of her colonial ancestors was killed fighting during the Battle of Bunker Hill and her grandfather died in the POW camp in Salisbury, NC during the Civil War.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||03/21/2012|
I am 19 and only want to live another 17- 20 years..... 20 years to live. :) God knows if i'll even make that.
|by Anonymous||reply 40||04/18/2012|
I am 66 and just retired and ok healthwise, but I don't see much point in living beyond 80 or so, as the body and health will begin to fail anytime then ... and who wants to be a burden or in pain or have to leave one's home to go into a care home. By 80 I should have travelled and seen and done all I want to, a few quiet years then would be nice before slipping away peacefully ... but how likely is that? My father made 81 and my mother 79, so the odds may be ok - I am the oldest of 6 and all my siblings are alive and well too.
What worries me though is my partner now 59 - both his parents died around the 60 mark, the mother of a sudden heart attack. He, my partner, is an only child - what if he inherits some gene from them - he refuses to go the doctor and have checkups, so no idea of his blood pressure, cholesterol level etc, but he seems fit and well ...
|by Anonymous||reply 41||04/18/2012|
I've done a couple lifespan profiles that ask health questions and give you a reasonable life expectancy. They all come out between 89 and 99 years old.
Me, I'm 47 now and wouldn't mind an extra hundred years.
|by Anonymous||reply 42||04/18/2012|
You really should try r41 to get your partner to have regular checkups, if he is an only child coming up to the age his parents died .... better be safe than sorry as who knows what we inherit from our genes. Not being alarmist, but just saying..
|by Anonymous||reply 43||04/18/2012|
R30, the Social Security Administration website has the numbers for whether it's feasible to file for benefits when you're 62 or wait until you're older. As far as I know, they always recommend filing as soon as you're eligible.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||04/18/2012|
I want to be mobile, walking, ambulating, OK? I want to take a shower and a crap all by myself. I want to dress myself and know when my clothes are dirty. I watch elderly people when I go out, and they are often unkempt. It's as if no one cares how they look.
If I can do those things, and see & hear ok, I will be fine. I really don't want to hang around past 90. My parents lived until they were in their 90's.
I want to live somewhere they have good transportation, good medical facilities and free stuff. I can hang around the Y or library, or attend lectures, and musical performances, and see plays.
I want a friendly town where there are decent grocery stores, good, inexpensive restaurants and no crime. And I don't want to be condescended to.
|by Anonymous||reply 45||04/18/2012|
I want to live 1 year of joy more, than for every year of misery I've suffered on this planet. To balance it all out in the end.
|by Anonymous||reply 46||04/18/2012|
R41 tell him if he loves he he will go and have checkups as you dont want to risk losing him needlessly.
|by Anonymous||reply 47||04/18/2012|
45 now. Hope to live no longer than 55
|by Anonymous||reply 48||08/01/2013|
Once you pass a certain age, make the most of every day. You never know what's around the corner.
Case in point: My mother was in fabulous shape in her late 70's, hiking, traveling, doing water aerobics, enjoying nutritious meals, getting plenty of sleep, going places with her friends. She never smoked or drank, and thanks to regular exercise her cardiovascular system was in top condition.
Boom, all at once, she's full of anxiety about going anywhere, staying home alone, taking a walk...you name it, she's suddenly full of inchoate fear about it. Alzheimer's hit her full force and within a few months she was confused and anxious pretty much all the time. She failed to recognize loved ones and asked the same questions over and over.
It was amazing how quickly Alzheimer's took her away. A lot of her fear in those early stages had to do with recognizing that something was happening to her brain, yet being powerless to stop it.
She gave up her own condo for assisted living, and then quickly moved on from assisted living to a 24-hour nursing home. She's not anxious anymore because she's let go of her past life and is sort of drifting along, not really sure of what's going on.
I'm going to try to make the most of my abilities now. I've seen what may be waiting less than 30 years down the road, and it's terrifying.
|by Anonymous||reply 49||08/01/2013|
It depends if I can get a job or not. I've been out of work for over a year. Since I've gotten laid off, I've interviewed for jobs that pay by the hour and jobs that pay six figures. My outlook on how much longer I want to live depends on where/if I land...
It's pretty dismal in the real world.
|by Anonymous||reply 50||08/01/2013|
I've struggled and worked my ass off since I was 16. I'm 58. I want quality for 30 more years, and retirement in 5.
|by Anonymous||reply 51||08/01/2013|
60 more years - I want to see some of the advances detailed in this link. Now that I've said that, though, I'll probably be killed tomorrow.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||08/01/2013|
When I get to 70 or 75, I think I'm going to start drinking like a fish and eating all the cholesterol I can afford. Better to have a massive heart attack than to live into a demented old age.
|by Anonymous||reply 53||08/01/2013|
Ugh... I 52 and I am done!
|by Anonymous||reply 54||08/01/2013|
In the current issue of Newsweek, an expert notes that a current middle ager will live to 150. I'm easily as fit as was in my early 20s, so I'd take a 100 years or so more of life.
|by Anonymous||reply 55||08/01/2013|
50. I want 25 more years. Don't want to live to be an invalid like both my parents.
|by Anonymous||reply 56||08/01/2013|
"I'm easily as fit as was in my early 20s..."
We will have no room for sagtitted braggarts in our polity, gramps.
|by Anonymous||reply 57||08/01/2013|
Since I was a young child, I always wanted to live to be 100. I thought of all the changes since my grandparents' young years and wanted to see what changes would happen in 100.
Now I am 62. I am in good health and retired, with enough to live modestly but comfortably indefinitely.
I would like to live as long as I can remain relatively independently. My neighbor is 95. She lives alone, but has family members who look in often and help with chores. That is looking pretty good, except I have little family. So I will pay for help.
Of course this thread is all about the magical thinking we humans have about our fates. Making conditions, making deals, calling the shots. As if we know or can control the future. I want to live as long as I can.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||08/01/2013|
[quote]Of course this thread is all about the magical thinking we humans have about our fates. Making conditions, making deals, calling the shots. As if we know or can control the future.
I don't know why, but this last paragraph of your really struck me, R58. Thanks for the reality check.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||08/01/2013|
When my parents die, I'll be alone so I'm guessing my best time to die would be a few years after that. I'm 49 now. Maybe 60 if my parents die, if not, I'll stay till they go.
I wanted to commit suicide when I was 30 something. I chickened out. I'm sort of regretting that. I should have done it then I wouldn't have to worry about it later.
|by Anonymous||reply 60||08/01/2013|
I would love to live to be 250.
|by Anonymous||reply 61||08/01/2013|
You are welcome R58.
Something I should have added is that at 62, reality has struck me in another way. I am now three months into a plan to lose a bit of weight, step up my exercise, get off medication. No point in aspiring to old age when I am not doing what I should right now.
|by Anonymous||reply 62||08/01/2013|
I'm approaching 48 and hope to die young.
|by Anonymous||reply 63||08/01/2013|
I've already bought a crypt topped with an enormous bronze of a grief stricken angel that I'm anxious to occupy.
|by Anonymous||reply 64||08/01/2013|
Ah. Such ambivalence. Four Noble Truths 'n all.
Sans eyes, sans teeth. One friend conjured his end early.
Me, panic and pleasure alternate. No idea how I skidded along so long, considering the catastrophes.
I don't put my "want" to such a question, as I am such a balsa boy.
|by Anonymous||reply 65||08/01/2013|
Well, R65 is a schizophrenic having an episode... Clanging, loss of goal, stilted speech, and tangentiality, among other symptomatic features.
|by Anonymous||reply 66||08/01/2013|
I'm ready right now, I stay alive for my mom. She was adopted, has no siblings and my grandparents are dead. I'm her only family, were it not for that I would blow my head off. This is a rotten world populated with mostly rotten people.
|by Anonymous||reply 67||08/01/2013|
I'm 55 and in good shape. I wouldn't mind another 40 years.
|by Anonymous||reply 68||08/01/2013|
Better question: Would you want to know when you're going to die? It would be sort of weird, but at least you'd be able to know how to spend your money, what to buy, how much time you have left to travel and do things on your bucket list.
|by Anonymous||reply 69||08/01/2013|
Just picked this anthology up. It intrigues me.
[quote]THIS IS HOW YOU DIE Stories of the Inscrutable, Infallible, Inescapable Machine of Death
The machines started popping up around the world. The offer was tempting: with a simple blood test, anyone could know how they would die. But the machines didn't give dates or specific circumstances-just a single word or phrase. DROWNED, CANCER, OLD AGE, CHOKED ON A HANDFUL OF POPCORN. And though the predictions were always accurate, they were also often frustratingly vague. OLD AGE, it turned out, could mean either dying of natural causes, or being shot by an elderly, bedridden man in a botched home invasion. The machines held onto that old-world sense of irony in death: you can know how it's going to happen, but you'll still be surprised when it does.
|by Anonymous||reply 70||08/01/2013|
I'm 54 and I am pretty much ready to go. My life has been circling the drain lately. Bouts of un and underemployment. The latest job was sent overseas in mid June. Things don't look good.
Had some health issues last year and was told my doctor that I probably have cancer. Don't have any health insurance and the probably have cancer comment came after $7000 worth of inconclusive tests. I decide no more tests and have pretty much said fuck it.
|by Anonymous||reply 71||08/01/2013|
My mother was 93 when she died in a nursing home. She couldn't walk or eat by herself or toilet, or anything. So my answer would hinge on quality of life. If I can take care of myself I want to hang around as long as possible. But once I lose the ability to toilet, bathe, cress or feed myself I am out of here. No way do I want to depend on some nasty nurse changing my diapers. Or feeding me slop.
|by Anonymous||reply 72||08/01/2013|
R41, you partner only has to walk into a drug store to a sit-down blood pressure measuring machine which many drug stores have and take his blood pressure reading in 60 seconds.
I cannot conceive of the idiocy of not knowing what one's blood pressure reading is and whether medication is indicated to lower it.
You two must be cretins.
|by Anonymous||reply 73||08/01/2013|
Organic apple cider vinegar, a low sodium diet and exercise lowers Blood Pressure, Diabetes II and Cholesterol. It's a miracle cure.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||08/01/2013|
I'm 53 and have been dealing with bipolar 1 disorder for the past 30 years. I try to take good care of myself, but I know the people with bipolar disorder tend to die relatively young. I'll be glad to make it to 70.
My mother, father, and grandfather committed suicide. It sucks living with that legacy, but I'm doing everything I can to stay healthy and live a good life.
|by Anonymous||reply 75||08/01/2013|
Please don't anyone trash R75. He is making a great effort to offset family history.
I wish him health and long life.
|by Anonymous||reply 76||08/01/2013|
You don't have to end up like them, R75.
|by Anonymous||reply 77||08/01/2013|
My mother died at 42, my father at 55. I'll be 32 in a little over a week.
I work all the time, have no siblings, the cousin I was closest to died in '07 when she was 27. I've been on exactly one date, (I have serious trust issues.) and I only really know one person outside of work anymore and quite frankly he's been making so many bad life decisions that talking with him usually makes me want to punch and delete when I hang up.
Quite frankly, If I can figure out how to write my will, (no i'm not that OP) then I'd be fine with not waking up the next day.
|by Anonymous||reply 78||08/01/2013|
I don't want to end up trapped inside a body that doesn't work anymore. I can't think of anything more horrible that being unable to do things or care for myself while being fully aware of what's going on. And although I have assets that'll hopefully support me during retirement, I'm deathly afraid of being old and poor. Being a burden on anyone, whether medically or financially, would be awful. I survived a round of cancer at 50 and have been clear for 2 years now so who knows what'll happen. The lymphoma could return tomorrow or never but, regardless, I don't think I'll live to my 80's like my grandparents did.
|by Anonymous||reply 79||08/01/2013|
I think at this point, everything's graxy. I'm 44. I don't want to live if I don't have good health and some comfort.
|by Anonymous||reply 80||08/01/2013|
I don't even think about it. I live in the moment.
|by Anonymous||reply 81||08/01/2013|
My folks both died of cancer early(ages 65 and 78), so, chances are,( as Johnny Mathis says), I'm not looking at a long life anyway. I'm retired, almost 63, if I can make it to 75 I'll be content. r74 I've done the organic vinegar thing for several years now, I think it's a good thing.
|by Anonymous||reply 82||08/02/2013|
When I read your post OP my first response was as long as I have quality of life. Then I realised I don't have quality of life.
|by Anonymous||reply 83||08/02/2013|
I don't want to be around when Earth experiences the full force of climate change. It's going to be brutal. I feel sorry for today's youngsters, who are going to pay big time for the indulgence and wastefulness of the baby boomers.
|by Anonymous||reply 84||08/02/2013|
[quote]My folks both died of cancer early(ages 65 and 78)
78 isn't early.
|by Anonymous||reply 85||08/02/2013|
I'm 28, but I've always had a strong feeling deep down that I would die young. I don't imagine that I'll live past 32.
|by Anonymous||reply 86||08/02/2013|