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Let's Program The Lesbian Television Network

Pitch your show idea here for the new LTN. Only requirement, it must appeal to the lesbians.

by Anonymousreply 13808/19/2013

Semi-Vegan with Sandra Lee

by Anonymousreply 1003/08/2012

Make your own Dreamcathchers.

by Anonymousreply 1203/08/2012

[quote]"This Is Not Funny." Hijinks ensue when a group of highly strung, overly intellectual lesbians attemot to navigate their way on the streets of Manhattan![/quote]

Starring R11.

by Anonymousreply 1303/08/2012

R11, you need a hyphen for that sentence to make sense. And it's "woman-hating" (single.)

by Anonymousreply 1403/08/2012

"Tales from the Off-ramp" Large Marge (Dot Jones) brings you eerie tales from the highway.

by Anonymousreply 1503/08/2012

Reruns of The Big Valley.

by Anonymousreply 1703/08/2012

Queer as Folk: The Reunion

by Anonymousreply 1803/08/2012

The Stating Game

Each week three lovelorn lesbians compete to win a dream date with a mystery gal who has to guess their boundaries through clever questioning!

by Anonymousreply 1903/08/2012

I think you're onto something there, r3, but the concept needs to be expanded.

"A group of five lesbians give straight girls a Sapphic makeover." That's week two.

Week one, five girly giggly sorority sisters school the lesbians in the fine art of being a girl. Lessons include: hair, make-up, clothes, heels, perfume, boys, pouting, handbags,flirting and much more.

The real hilarity begins when the tables are turned, and the lesbians take over the class!

by Anonymousreply 2003/08/2012

"No, I am the man of the house"

by Anonymousreply 2103/08/2012

Big Sis

A group of 14 lesbians, all of whom have dated each other at some point in their lives, move into a house together. The Big Sis cameras capture all the hilarity, tears and DRAMA! Boundaries will be broken!

by Anonymousreply 2203/08/2012

"Kate Explains it All" A show where hijinks with the former L Word cast ensue and Kate Moenning is forced to break the fourth wall to explain it all to viewers.


"Amber Heard Walking Around" Self-explanatory, as all lesbians want to see is Amber Heard. She doesn't need to talk.

by Anonymousreply 2303/08/2012

Reruns of Cagney & Lacey


by Anonymousreply 2403/08/2012

The Big Sis is a great idea actually.

by Anonymousreply 2503/08/2012


Fat, gross Asian bulldyke moves to Miami for work and bores everyone the fuck to death with created drama...

Oh wait a minute...

by Anonymousreply 2603/08/2012

Facts of Life promote the premiere of current-day remake.

by Anonymousreply 2703/08/2012

young femmne lesbians REFUSE to be part of the dyke stereotype so they identity as bi. They are femme, nice and act and dress like straight girls! Now that is girl power!

by Anonymousreply 2803/08/2012

I would like to see one of those reality dating shows (like The Bachelor etc)where a bunch of catty, vacuous women vie for attention of a celesbian like Martina or kd lang.

by Anonymousreply 2903/08/2012

"The Lesbian Apprentice"

Hosted by Rosie O'Donnell, a group of lesbians put their sapphic business acumen to the test as they compete for a high-powered position at R Family Vacations.

by Anonymousreply 3003/08/2012

gross r29!

by Anonymousreply 3103/08/2012


Hilarious new hidden-camera reality series featuring riotous bulldaggers passing gas in the most unexpected places. Watch as cameras catch the wackiest expressions of those exposed to the pungent smells!

by Anonymousreply 3203/08/2012


The prime-time soap about a collective of women-identified-women who live in an old rambling farmhouse and all the intrigue within. Who ate SaraBeth's tofu? Who bought that Bruno Mars CD?

Every year, the fireworks really take off in August when the characters go to MichFest (or because of trademark issues, it's called Festigan.)

by Anonymousreply 3303/08/2012

"The Prime of Miss Jane Hathaway."

A dramatic film from the point-of-view of Mr. Drysdale's long-suffering gal Friday.

by Anonymousreply 3403/08/2012

Women's tennis (sponsored by the Judy Nelson Clam House)

by Anonymousreply 3503/08/2012

Cooking for Cats with Cat Cora

by Anonymousreply 3603/08/2012

How to shave your face

by Anonymousreply 3703/08/2012

These are hysterical!

by Anonymousreply 3803/08/2012

W&W for r10.

by Anonymousreply 3903/08/2012

My favorite is R1

by Anonymousreply 4003/08/2012

"Tool Time"

by Anonymousreply 4103/08/2012

I love [italic]Gynasty.[/italic]

by Anonymousreply 4203/08/2012

I think the "That's Not Funny" sitcom should have, instead of laugh tracks, pre-recorded groans and "what the fuck"s, and occasionally silence, when someone cracks a joke.

by Anonymousreply 4303/09/2012

The Newlywed Nutloaf Game

Six lesbian couples compete in a game show to win a free trip to MichFest, by trying to guess their partners' nutloaf recipes in a blindfold bake off!

Oh the nutty drama!

by Anonymousreply 4403/09/2012

Share Your Feelings

A nightly five hour rap session featuring four lesbians from different walks of life, where they share their thoughts and feelings about current events.

by Anonymousreply 4503/09/2012

no smarmy Rachel Maddow clones

no Chris Hayes clones

by Anonymousreply 4603/09/2012

Kate Clinton's Unfunny Comedy Hour

by Anonymousreply 4703/09/2012

"AlternaView" - a morning talk and variety show hosted by Rachel Maddow, Wanda Sykes, Melissa Etheridge, Sharon Gless, and Lucy Lawless, with guest financial advisor Suze Orman.

by Anonymousreply 4803/09/2012

"America's Next Top Drywall Specialist"

by Anonymousreply 4903/09/2012

R3 left out dog training.

by Anonymousreply 5003/09/2012

How to Dress Like a Man hosted by Sam Ronson

by Anonymousreply 5103/09/2012

Kate and Allie marathons

by Anonymousreply 5203/09/2012

great way to start the day! Thanks OP

by Anonymousreply 5303/09/2012

The Biggest Lesbian with Jillian Michaels

Lesbians compete in sports, healthy cooking competitions and other challenges to win prizes such as Vera Wang wedding gowns and power tools.

by Anonymousreply 5403/09/2012

LPGA tournaments

"Man On The Land" - a 'Survivor' knockoff that strands a group of women on an island. The twist is that one of the women secretly used to be a man. Through a series of challenges and rewards (e.g., 'Breastcasting With Indigenous Materials', commercially-produced tampons), the women vote each other off one by one. If the MTF makes it to the end, (s)he gets an additional $100K. Hosted by Queen Latifah, sponsored by American Spirit cigarettes.

by Anonymousreply 5503/09/2012

The Tool Shack of Love : A romcom series of starcossed lovers meeting in a tool store. Each episode of the first season is themed around an aisle of the tool store.

That's So Not Funny: A roundtable of outspoken lesbians taking offense at current interviews and clips covering lesbian issues in an unfavorable light or mocking them. Two hours. Each day. Except on Sundays when it's four hours long and features a one hour best of from the week.

No 'Mo Muff Lesbow. A Reality TV series about lesbians trying to conquer their rampant lesbianism by learning how to use crossbows in their daily life.

Showing only the lesbian themed episode of Lost Girl (of which there are plenty).

On Holidays it's mandetory to air the Golden Girls episode where Dorothy's friend is having a crush on Rose.

by Anonymousreply 5603/09/2012

Some of these are funny! I've seen all these and more. We have to laugh at ourselves! Seriously, we are deeply amusing people, the boys and the girls.

I love all of you!

by Anonymousreply 5903/09/2012

None of the comedies will have laugh tracks. Actually there will be no comedies. And U-Haul will be the only sponsor.

by Anonymousreply 6003/09/2012

Tampax and Always were interested in sponsorship, but when speaking to the VP in charge of advertising, she sternly informed them that "we roll our own around here!"

by Anonymousreply 6103/09/2012

The Real Nan MichiganWomyn -- ongoing reality series examining the planning and execution of the yearly Michigan Womyn's Music Festival held every August.

See the ongoing debates about stating boundaries and accommodating food sensitivities while striving to be inclusive to all womyn.

Drama erupts when a male power company employee wants to enter the sacred land to fix a downed power line.

And despite it all, the womyn arrive and have a great time.

Once it's all over, the planning begins for next year's Fest.

by Anonymousreply 6203/09/2012

Reruns of:

Holmes on Homes

Cagney & Lacey

Festivals of North America, hosted by Nan Michiganwomyn.

And new sitcoms (a la TV Land) including:

"Jo The Plumber" - Nancy McKeon in her triumphant return to TV as now-famous TV plumber Jo Polniaczek.

"A Brand New Me" - Late in life lesbian (Meredith Baxter) lives with slutty straight friend (Kim Cattrall), and the girls talk dating and oral sex. Hilarity ensues!

by Anonymousreply 6303/09/2012

I'm sorry that I can't help. I'm a man who knows nothing about sports.

by Anonymousreply 6403/09/2012

"Man on the Land" - one woman's journey to hell and back as she has to wait while the PortaJanes are emptied at MichFest and how she found strength from it,

by Anonymousreply 6503/09/2012

The LesboLympics.

Broadcast every four years from Look park in Northampton, MA, these non-competitive athletic games for womyn-born womyn only prove that everybody truly is a winner. Instead of medals, everybody gives air hugs so as not to violate any personal space.

by Anonymousreply 6603/09/2012

Gafelda Fish (jewish version of the view)

by Anonymousreply 6703/09/2012

Downtown Abby

Originally a XXX porn film about a young lesbian who performs the best cunnilingus ever, it has been heavily edited by academic filmmakers to show only the non-porn moments and emphasize how women react to one another non-verbally and bonds of friendship Abby finds with a lesbian hitchhiker, a lesbian bikini model, a lesbian librarian and a lesbian housewife.

Runtime (edited version): 8 minutes.

by Anonymousreply 6803/09/2012

It's currently called The Golf Channel.

by Anonymousreply 6903/09/2012

"Moving Dykes": Each week chronicles the premature cohabitation of two gay women, as seen from the perspective of the one moving into her new partner's living space.

Sponsored by U-Haul.

"Lesbian Bed Death Becomes Her": Lesbians recount the evolution of their relationships and the bitter recriminations directed towards their partners

Sponsored by Tempur-Pedic.

"Unleash the Yeast!": Women's health topics, with a touch of laughter and irreverence ...

Sponsored by Monistat

"House Hunters Homosexual": While this series features a segment on gay men searching for their perfect home, the gals can fast forward through the frivolous sections and watch the antics of lesbians in the hunt for the perfect nest! The Cherry Grove beach house trip is a classic!

Sponsored by Century 21

"White Paint": Lesbian home decoration show.

Sponsored by Lowe's

"Butch Cassidy": Life and love on the professional lesbian rodeo circuit

Sponsor TBA

"Clit Lit": A weekly survey of the best recent lesbian fiction


by Anonymousreply 7003/09/2012

[quote]Kate Clinton's Unfunny Comedy Hour

Why limit this to just Kate Clinton? Be inclusive!

by Anonymousreply 7103/09/2012

I'm really beginning to think this channel should be sponsored by U-Haul.

by Anonymousreply 7203/09/2012

[quote]Why limit this to just Kate Clinton? Be inclusive!


by Anonymousreply 7303/09/2012

One word: U-Haul

by Anonymousreply 7403/09/2012

"Suze Orman's Money Tips" - Orman shares empowering money tips with her lesbian audience.

"We all know that dykes don't tip….but did you know if you took the money you AREN'T tipping with and put it into a Roth IRA, you would have 6.5 million dollars by the time you're 60? Approved, girlfriend, approved!"

by Anonymousreply 7503/09/2012

"Lesbotics" – lesbians who are handy with tools pair up with MIT engineering students and compete for a cash prize designing and building robots and high tech gadgets. Sponsored by Subaru.

"Top Stagehand" – lesbian stagehands duke it out to see who's top dog in the world of backstage production. Must be a IATSE member to compete.

by Anonymousreply 7603/09/2012

Game Show: "13 Year Old Boy or Baby Dyke?"

by Anonymousreply 7703/09/2012

OMG, R15, that sounds like heaven!

I was thinking the LTN could air "My Fair Ladies," a reality show that documents Sarah McLachlan and other female artists as they prepare and rehearse for a revived "Lilith Fair" concert series.

by Anonymousreply 7803/09/2012

Since reality shows are all the rage, LTN will also air "Damn! I Wish I Was Your Lover," a "Rock Of Love" type of dating show where a group of lesbians and straight men attempt to win the affections of bisexual recording artist Sophie B. Hawkins.

by Anonymousreply 7903/09/2012

"So You Think You Can Build A Deck"

by Anonymousreply 8003/09/2012

LTN will also expand into the game show market with "In or Out?" hosted by Anne Heche.

"In or Out?" features three female contestants per episode, only one of whom is secretly a lesbian. A small panel of "celebrities" (think Danny Bonaduce, David Hasselhoff, Janice Dickinson, etc.) must ask the contestants questiosn and guess which of the three lovely ladies is gay. If the lesbian manages to outsmart the panel, she wins a new Toyota Tundra 4x4!

by Anonymousreply 8203/09/2012

A "Sons of Anarchy" spin-off centered around the members of Dykes on Bikes!

by Anonymousreply 8303/09/2012

R22. I would watch that Big Sis show. You need to pitch that to a network.

by Anonymousreply 8403/09/2012

"Dyke Swap"

Two long-term lesbian couples with contrasting lifestyles agree to trade partners for a week. Boundaries will be tested.

by Anonymousreply 8503/09/2012

Is this a real network?

by Anonymousreply 8603/09/2012

[quote]Is this a real network?

r86 you should a doctor, I think you may be irony deficient.

by Anonymousreply 8703/09/2012

"see" a doctor.

Instant sarcasm Karma.

by Anonymousreply 8803/09/2012

From Tru Life Tales:

"I have stated my boundaries" - Two sister surveyors map out the future home of the Melissa Etheredge museum

"Michfest rides again!" - On the road to the Cuntry Store with your hostess, the tokin', smokin', and hopefully pokin', Denise Eaker Hoover

"My pussy stinks" - Feline hygene with Cheryl!

by Anonymousreply 8903/09/2012


Five lesbians - a senior citizen, an African American, a lawyer, a guest lesbian and one total idiot young Womyn's Studies college student who's probably not really gay shooting her mouth off about political/social issues she thinks she understands.

Processing the issues, minute by minute, hour by hour, over herb tea.

You can't get enough.

by Anonymousreply 9003/09/2012

R90 And to make this low-cost, all you'd need to do to produce this is tape any Smith College GOV seminar.

by Anonymousreply 9103/09/2012

r81 nails it!

by Anonymousreply 9203/09/2012

"Pitbulls" - Thrill to the exploits of two Butch Latina car repossesors in East L.A. and thier various savage rituals in breaking in the younger chicks

by Anonymousreply 9303/09/2012

Lots of Anne Murray late night commercials.

by Anonymousreply 9403/09/2012

"The Dykelorette" - 25 baby dykes compete to see who Melissa Etheridge is going to find, fuck and forget THIS year.

Will have many seasons, as Melissa gets bored easily and needs a new plaything. Since she is the Jerry Lee Lewis of lesbians, contestants can be no older than 23.

by Anonymousreply 9503/09/2012


A new gameshow where each week 3 young, naive lesbians board TITular bus with our host/driver, Denise. After enduring gross inuendo, uncomfortable hugs and Denise's scary pot driving, the last girl who hasn't bolted gets her choice of a grand prize!

Cash, Weed or Pussy.

by Anonymousreply 9603/09/2012

Extreme Makeover: Menstrual Hut Edition. Sponsored by Home Depot and Subaru.

The Wombmoon Folksinging Competition. Divided into 2 segments : solo wombmoon folk singers and ensemble wombmoon folksingers. Solo artists are to be judged by use of the words "Sister" "Moon" and "Cat", as well as their personalized, handwoven hemp guitar strap. Ensemble groups are to be rated on their dulcimer playing skills and use of matching bandanas. Hosted by Michelle Shocked and kd lang.

Pimp My Forklift: Diesel dykes compete to see who can create the most bodacious forklift by utilizing goddess symbols, dream catchers and witty bumper stickers. Sponsored by Caterpillar and Carhartt.

by Anonymousreply 9703/09/2012

The title "Hillbilly Hand Fishing" will be licensed from Animal Planet, but this time around it's a dating show for rural lesbians.

by Anonymousreply 9803/09/2012

[quote]The Wombmoon Folksinging Competition. Divided into 2 segments : solo wombmoon folk singers and ensemble wombmoon folksingers. Solo artists are to be judged by use of the words "Sister" "Moon" and "Cat", as well as their personalized, handwoven hemp guitar strap. Ensemble groups are to be rated on their dulcimer playing skills and use of matching bandanas. [bold]Hosted by Cris Williamson and Toshi Reagon.[/bold]

Fixed that for you.

Michelle Shocked was bi/"fluid" at the most, and these days she's an anti-gay Christian fundie. As for k.d., I can imagine her rolling her eyes at womyn's music.

by Anonymousreply 9903/09/2012

Michelle Shocked: gayest straight woman ever

by Anonymousreply 10003/09/2012

"Search and Rescue"

A team of six lesbian Emergency Medical Technicians and their pilot (Patricia Cornwell) circle the Rocky Mountains in their chopper to find and save missing hikers and female abductees.

by Anonymousreply 10203/09/2012

We love you too, r59! We have to laugh at ourselves,or we probably wouldn't survive.

BTW--I'm a dude and I would watch MOST of the shows for the proposed LTN. Except the folk singing ones.

by Anonymousreply 10303/09/2012

"The Deadliest Snatch" A reality series following the the adventures of an all lesbian crew of crab fisherwomyn. Follow the drama aboard the fishing vessel "Isis Moon" as Captain Butchie McDyke leads her crew through the perilous waters of the Bering Sea and thank Goddess for their successful catch of Alaska King Crab.

by Anonymousreply 10403/09/2012

[quote] Michelle Shocked was bi/"fluid" at the most, and these days she's an anti-gay Christian fundie.

Whaaaat? Really? That's…crazy.

There's a few that play the fluidity line…Ms. Dar Williams immediately comes to mind.

(Hint: Shortening one's name to "Dar" is usually a neon sign that you're doing the lez-lez.)

by Anonymousreply 10503/09/2012

Ha ha "House Hunters Homosexual" Love that title. Thanks R70. I would love to see this show for the gay and lesbian house buyers -- maybe we wouldn't have to be subjected to all the "man cave" references made by the straight guys on the regular House Hunters then.

by Anonymousreply 10603/09/2012

"Pair of Dykes Lost" - In a cross between "Survivor" and "The Amazing Race" (with a gay twist), this reality/game show features 10 pairs of lesbian couples as they are stranded on a remote tropical island. Each episode finds the couples engaging in competitions and mini-challenges that get them slowly closer to civilization. The last couple to complete the challenge in each episode get eliminated. The winning couple will receive a $20,000 Home Depot gift card, a new 2013 Dodge Ram, and a trip for two on the Rosie O'Donnell & Friends gay cruise. Hosted by Portia de Rossi.

by Anonymousreply 10703/09/2012

Akin to "The View" or "The Talk, LTN's "The Gab" features five lesbians (Meredith Baxter, Chely Wright, Melissa Etheridge, Wanda Sykes, and Jane Lynch) discussing current events and hot topics from a lesbo point of view.

by Anonymousreply 10803/09/2012

Goode Girls

Newlyweds Sycamore and Toni Goode decide to leave their high-stress jobs behind (the former is a book editor, the latter a PR executive) in order to open a handmade jewelry store in Burlington, VT. Hilarity ensues as the carefree Sycamore (Eliza Dushku) and Type-A Toni (Lizzy Caplan) learn to live and love amongst their wacky neighbors.

Featuring Eddie Cibrian and Jerry O'Connell as Roger and Doug (aka "Dodger"), two obnoxio brothers who own the microbrewery next to the Goodes' shop.

Delta Burke as Beebee Rothko, the owner of a rival jewelry shop who doesn't appreciate the girls encroaching on her territory!

and Charlene Yi as Amanda, a quirky and passive-aggressive salesperson at Trinkets (the jewelry shop Sycamore and Toni own).

by Anonymousreply 10903/09/2012

A turn of the century mini-series where clam juice references abound and its title is "Tipping the Velvet", which alludes again to woman-on-woman relations.

Whoops - already been done. And well, I may add. Loved it.

by Anonymousreply 11003/09/2012

"Crab Walk With Me"

A weekly sci fi investigative show where we spill diet coke on the furniture of a lesbian couple and document the strange happenings afterwards

by Anonymousreply 11103/09/2012

"She's the Man"

Sitcom centered around a butch-femme couple.

by Anonymousreply 11203/09/2012

Loving these because there's much truth; and I'm lesbian.

rotflmao at "Hillbilly Hand Fishin"

by Anonymousreply 11303/09/2012

"The Awffle House" sponsored by Pillsbury.

A lipstick lesbian couple and their diesel dyke short-order cook open a roadside breakfast and lunch only diner with rental cottages. The front desk clerk is a screaming queen and the maintenance man is a hunky straight guy.

by Anonymousreply 11403/09/2012

What's so funny is that you guys already have the sponsors lined up.

[quote]Sponsored by Caterpillar and Carhartt.

Is the funniest.

by Anonymousreply 11503/09/2012

The New New Adventures of Leave It to Beaver

by Anonymousreply 11603/09/2012

The great thing about most of these is that (a) they sound funny and actually worth a look and (b) it wouldn't be just the lesbians watching - the bears and a lot of rural gays would love these shows too.

by Anonymousreply 11703/09/2012

The title: Flo

The premise: She's a tough, back-talking waitress who takes no guff from the guys and has lots of love to give to the gals - if they could only see it.

The hook: No one knows that she suffers from the pain of fibromyalgia AND a rare perma-menstrual condition that only gives her one day off her Lady Tuffet a month. And each month she plots and finagles to spend the evening with her latest crush. Mayhem and merriment ensues as the stroke of midnight and the return of Flo's Flow approach.

The blurb: It's like a fairy tale. Without the fairies.

by Anonymousreply 11803/09/2012


Game show where young men must outlast each other in Q&A grilling sessions with a team of Lesbians...who are instructed to yell out "I FEEL VIOLATED!" whenever they deem it necessary. Last man standing is given a free trip for two on Atlantis Cruises, because it's obvious he's a gay too!

by Anonymousreply 11903/09/2012

So many of these ideas are so fantastically amazing, but my favorite is still R15's. I want to see that on my TV NOW!

by Anonymousreply 12003/10/2012

Something starring Laura San Giacomo as a lesbian therapist.

by Anonymousreply 12103/10/2012

[quote]Make your own Dreamcathchers.

Dream Catheters?

by Anonymousreply 12203/10/2012

Dream Catheters!

by Anonymousreply 12303/10/2012

Park Talk.... park ranger, Carol, takes us on a tour of America's national parks

by Anonymousreply 12603/10/2012

Damn R104...

I thought "Deadliest Snatch" was going to be a new investigation discovery show.

by Anonymousreply 13308/18/2013

What a great thread, I'm surprised it ended after only 131 posts. More ideas please.

by Anonymousreply 13408/18/2013

Cutting Wood. A half an hour focusing on how to get the best out of your woodstove, how to cut wood, how to season it, what types of tools to use, and a hot butch showing off her biceps splitting some logs.

Car Repair with Mindy: Mindy is a hot femme who leans over the hood a lot and gives tips on how to change your own oil, for femmes who don't know how to do that.

Compost Chat: What makes a good compost? What is the ratio of green to brown that I need to compost my kitchen scraps? When is it ready to use? How do I compost in winter? These are more pressing topics will be discussed on...Compost Chat.

Off the Grid with Randy: Randy is a lady, of course. Randy explains how to get the man off your back by putting in your own photovoltaic panels, passive solar, and a host of other topics...

by Anonymousreply 13508/18/2013

>>Off the Grid with Randy:

I'd watch that!

by Anonymousreply 13608/19/2013


The Covert Lesbian International Terrorist Squad is an elite strike force of lesbians who have been trained in a secret facility known only as "The Land," whose primary mission is to set boundaries and disarm triggers from terrorist threats that are perpetrated by patriarchal oppressors worldwide.

by Anonymousreply 13708/19/2013

"All MichFest,All the Time". A 24/7 series that is awash in the womyn who attend the Fest. How they got there; who's watching the cats; a Nutloaf-a-Day recipe contest; Find the Bastard-investigation segment, on the guards who keep a wary eye out for penised-people. Tales of Yesteryear:how much better it was back in the 90's. Exchangeable You: Swapping email addresses. Next Year in Michigan: How will Fest change? Will Cyndy( Arlette, Phoebe,Vaggav,etc.) return as she promised? Clips from old Dinah Shore programs. Sponsored by: Dog Groomers of America.

by Anonymousreply 13808/19/2013
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