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I want to ask someone out

He's my acting teacher. The class is wrapping up soon.

I don't even know if he's gay, but he might be.

I'm sure there are rules against it.

by Anonymousreply 4003/04/2013

No rules in love or war. Go for it. No guts, no glory.

by Anonymousreply 103/05/2012

Once the class is over, it should be fine.

by Anonymousreply 203/05/2012

Is this him?

by Anonymousreply 303/05/2012

Are you a man or woman, OP?

If you wait until the class is over, there are certainly no rules against it. If you don't wait, there might be no rules, but he'd be wise to say no.

by Anonymousreply 403/05/2012

Do you ever go for drinks after class? That would be the time to further your intentions.

If this is in an academic setting, it will be more difficult.

by Anonymousreply 503/05/2012

no, it's an acting class and we're both guys. Not even sure if he is gay.

But in case he is, he has probably nothing to worry about b/c I'll likely chicken out.

I'm in a horrific cycle; I work on myself and I think I can be okay being alone and then I realize I am okay being alone and then I think I'm ready to have a relationship but then it's ten steps back.

I get nervous, awkward. I think it'll end horribly.

I make Valene Ewing look sane.

by Anonymousreply 603/05/2012

Ask him to have coffee somewhere casual and see how the conversation goes. Tell him how much you enjoyed the class and that you would to see more of him.

by Anonymousreply 703/05/2012

I agree with R7 -- but wait until the last day, or at least last week, of class. There should be no connection at all between the possibility of your seeing each other in future & the remainder of the class (not to mention any grades or evaluations he might have to assign to his students). Don't put him in a difficult position professionally.

So romantic -- good luck!

by Anonymousreply 803/05/2012

OP how old are you to know who Valene Ewing is?

by Anonymousreply 903/05/2012

R9, old enough to know that Sid's first name was actually "William."

R7 has good advice; if nothing else, he could end up being a friend and I do what advice on what class to take next.

(Not that I'm complaining, but I figured there'd be lots of flaming on this thread.)

by Anonymousreply 1003/06/2012

what = want

by Anonymousreply 1103/06/2012

Are you seriously going to ask out MHB, OP? That's sick.

by Anonymousreply 1203/06/2012

There are no rules against it, but I'd wait until the last day of class, I wouldn't do it if you are planning on studying with him again, and I'd be prepared for rejection, especially if you might want his guidance or coaching in the future, or if rejection might otherwise sour the affection you so clearly have for him at present.

by Anonymousreply 1303/06/2012


by Anonymousreply 1403/07/2012

Is his name Zandra?

by Anonymousreply 1503/07/2012

R13 and others, well, today was the day (last class) and boy did I chicken out.

He said he was going to give us all evaluations and I heard "over dinner" when he actually said "over the phone."

I lingered a bit, made some small talk and... chickened out...

There may be future classes with him, he is an excellent teacher and I don't think I should be asking people out when it means so much to me. I guess the trick is to do it when I'm comfortable with myself. Or ask out people I don't want to date so I can't be hurt by the rejection. But that actually makes no sense whatsoever.

Which could be a while. Clearly.

The sucky part is that he seems like a really cool guy.

by Anonymousreply 1603/11/2012

OP, your reference to some obscure character from a show that's been off the air for 20 years indicates that you're way too old to be such a pussy.

by Anonymousreply 1703/11/2012

sigh. I wish I weren't so chicken, R17.

But I am.

Nobody's sadder about it than I am.

by Anonymousreply 1803/12/2012

I think you'd probably be more hurt and insulted if people you weren't interested in rejected you, but it's a funny strategy.

by Anonymousreply 1903/12/2012

It is so not too late. He's going to call you soon with your evaluation. Just remember what r7 said and let him know you wouldn't mind seeing him more (over a latte, maybe?) when he does call. This could work out perfectly.

by Anonymousreply 2003/12/2012

Here is the best way, Mary OP:

Wait until he goes to the T-room, follow him, go to the urinal next to him, take out your tinymeat to pee and watch his meat while he pees. If he wants a 'date' with you he will let you know at that time.

by Anonymousreply 2103/12/2012

Ask him he wants a BJ before your evaluations. Them you're sure to get a passing grade. (unless you slobber, of course)

by Anonymousreply 2203/12/2012

Do you like me? Please check one:




Bashful and Anxious

by Anonymousreply 2303/12/2012

Thanks, R20, I actually did throw out "or over coffee?" when he mentioned calling for the evaluation, but he was non-responsive or non-committal, at best.

We'll see. Thanks.

by Anonymousreply 2403/12/2012

Mrs. Campbell, actually, you couldn't be more wrong.

by Anonymousreply 2503/12/2012

are you in san francisco, OP?

by Anonymousreply 2603/12/2012

Mrs. Campbell was close. Cross streams and make light saber noises, OP.

If your teacher says, "Luke, I am your fah-ther,"

then you respond singing, "and you're my brother and my lover, too 'cause we're about to go down and I know just what to do."

This has an 82.3% chance of working, unless your unfortunate looking.

by Anonymousreply 2703/12/2012

R26, No.

by Anonymousreply 2803/12/2012

I find it's easier and less risky to ask someone out for a specific event than for a general date. You could have started a conversation with him about a specific show (or movie) and if you detected interest ask him if he'd like to see it with him. Gives him a way out if he wants it and is less risk of rejection feelings for you (he didn't want to see the show not he didn't want to see you). If he accepted, you could wind up with a friend or a lot more. If he didn't, it's less devestating.

by Anonymousreply 2903/12/2012

Has he called yet OP?

by Anonymousreply 3003/13/2012

I had the hots for my math teacher!

by Anonymousreply 3103/13/2012

As someone who teaches acting at a college, I'd say you do best to wait until you graduate (if it's at a college) or there's no chance you would ever study with him again before you make any moves. and be prepared--he may find any moves on your part very unwelcome, even if he likes your finds you attractive. So many students turn around and file charges these days (even if they initiated the contact) that any sane teacher will run like the devil. And someinstitutions DO hav rules against it--at mine itis a fire able offense, even if mutually consensual. If it's a privat acting studio, it maybe different, butifit's an actualcolle or university,it's a really bad idea.

by Anonymousreply 3203/13/2012

Thanks Uta and R29, good advice all around.

who knows -- maybe I just picked him b/c I 'can't' have him.

and of course, if it's 'meant to be....'

blah blah blah.

by Anonymousreply 3303/13/2012

Lesbian here -- I have somewhat the same story & am looking for advice.

I'm auditing a course at a prestigious university, & have a crush on the professor. I am pretty sure she is gay, too. I'm just auditing the course & I'm her age, so there are no ethical problems, and the course will end in 2 months anyway.

How do I get the ball rolling?!? If I met her at a bar or a party, I wouldn't have a problem chatting her up and telling her that I'm really interested in what she is doing and then asking for coffee or lunch. It's the weird situation of the classroom -- I don't know how to break the artificial barrier set by the classroom and get the conversation to a personal level.

It's a high-level technical engineering course, so I could ask a question after class about the lecture. But it would be very technical & any attempt to say "I'm interested in this, would love to discuss more over coffee" would just be a blatant attempt to ask for a date. I think she would be blind-sided, and thus the chances of success are very low with that approach.

by Anonymousreply 3403/01/2013

Park a U-Haul in front of the building with the passenger door open. If she jumps in you are golden.

by Anonymousreply 3503/01/2013

There are most definitely rules in love.

by Anonymousreply 3603/01/2013

R35: LOL

by Anonymousreply 3703/01/2013

OP, thanks for confirming in R6 that you're nothing but a time-waster, which was pretty obvious from your initial, stupid question anyway.

by Anonymousreply 3803/01/2013

R35 & R37: thanks for your constructive advice. Just a note: some day you will be -- horrible dictu! -- 40 years old, and then all the other gay men won't want you for casual sex -- including the 55-yr olds. It's a long time from 40 to 80-something.

by Anonymousreply 3903/02/2013

R39 - you are welcome! Always glad to give advice. The lesbian dating scene seems much more straight forward than gay male dating scene. I know it's tough to make the first move, but give it a try. You will either be glad you did or regret that you never tried.

Thank you for being worried about my age as well! I am knocking on the door of 41 and thankfully have left the days of looking for casual sex behind. Luckily, time has been good to me in aging and building up some cash. In the event I do want casual sex one or the other will work out for me.

Keep us posted on your progress!

by Anonymousreply 4003/04/2013
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