"Gay culture has become obsessed with normalcy at any cost. There's so much denigration of anything that doesn't fit into the sort of white picket fence "We're just like you" message of the gay movement or the hypermasculine extreme consumerism and throwaway mentality of gay cruising. Camouflaged underneath all that is this really intense fear of anything that doesn't fit in, whether that be femininity or flamboyance or freakishness or an outsider sexuality or promiscuity or public sex, even just intimacy and love outside of dominant norms. And so I wanted to investigate where that fear between fags is coming from. How do we explore that, talk about it in all of its layers and contradictions, and how do we try to imagine something else?"
Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore asks: "Why Are Faggots So Afraid of Faggots?"
|by Anonymous||reply 113||03/17/2012|
Colton from Survivor.
Even the gays want to beat him up and stuff him in a locker.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||02/24/2012|
Assimilation and self loathing are killing the gay community from inside.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||02/24/2012|
[quote]Assimilation and self loathing are killing the gay community from inside.
The problem isn't gays who want a long time partner and kids. The problem is lack of tolerance towards gays who are "different". The problem is accepting that gays come in all shapes, colors and styles just like straights. Gays are first of all INDIVIDUALS, not just a community.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||02/24/2012|
Sycamore is a hipster poseur who wears too-tight retro sweater vests. He used to be a whore, literally.
SF Weekly, which was successfully sued by the SF Bay Guardian for ad sales price-gouging, is a national chain whose SF editors love to feature anti-gay gays, drug addict whores and criminals.
Sycamore's failed PR front Gay Shame's "accomplishments" were attacking then-Mayor Gavin Newsom in person for his stand for marriage equally.
Sycamore's blathering pseudo-intellectual stance's basic subtext is, "I'm bitter because I can't get laid since I'm a freak."
|by Anonymous||reply 4||02/24/2012|
I think if they replaced "afraid" with "annoyed by" it may have some legitamacy. Of course this could be true of any minority or sub group, so who really cares anyway
|by Anonymous||reply 5||02/24/2012|
Who the fuck is Mattilda "Jew" Bernstein?
|by Anonymous||reply 6||02/24/2012|
She should shut her trap.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||02/24/2012|
Good [Deity Explicative], what a fucking pretentious asshole.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||02/24/2012|
I agree completely -- and the same is true of lesbians. Try being a butch lesbian sometime. If lesbians think a butch lesbian is hot, they automatically rebrand her as a femme. God forbid they should lust after a hot butch girl!!
I feel the same way about gay marriage, gay adoption, and gays in the military, and I have for years. Don't get me wrong -- if you want to do these things, fine -- but why is our main goal to be just like straight people??? This isn't the gay pride I marched for back in the day. This trend really skeeves me out.
But pretty soon my stalker will come up from the basement she lives in and jump my ass, so I better shut up now.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||02/24/2012|
[quote]If lesbians think a butch lesbian is hot, they automatically rebrand her as a femme.
Kind of like cattle.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||02/24/2012|
Cheryl, hon, I used to work in market research. But thanks for playing.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||02/24/2012|
It's all ridiculous bullshit by "queer" activists who think that gay ghetto life is superior to equal rights and full acceptance. I get really tired of these losers attacking gay people who are trying to put the gloryhole closet-case ghetto behind us. They think that being gay means eschewing all functional behavior that accepts boundaries and isn't rooted in self loathing. They want us to embrace every negative anti-gay stereotype and fulfill those stereotypes as if they're healthy and functional. Sorry, but NO. It's time to leave the closet behind, and with it all the dysfunctional bullshit that came from it.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||02/24/2012|
Getting my broom out for all the sweeping statements.........
|by Anonymous||reply 13||02/24/2012|
Agreed, R12. This blather-filled bitch deserves to be shunned.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||02/24/2012|
Bernstein is a fag hag who is upset that more and more gay men are not flaming priss pots.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||02/24/2012|
R12 and R12 talk shit about all "those" gays with their boring straight and boring gay friends.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||02/24/2012|
Mattilda challenges Dan Choi's militarism
|by Anonymous||reply 17||02/24/2012|
My God! this queen is beyond repulsive. he makes bobby trendy look normal!!! talk about gay voice!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 18||02/24/2012|
R16, you're BORING.
I don't talk about "those gays" with anyone. If I did I would say that I felt sorry for people who had so deeply internalized their own oppression, that they'd come to believe that it was preferable to being treated with equality. That they had so bought into every anti-gay stereotype that they brandished their self-loathing dysfunctional behavior as if it were a flag of freedom. Instead of what it truly is; capitulation to homophobia and anti-gay stereotyping.
I'm not a "faggot", I'm an out and proud gay human being. I'm not going to treat myself as a piece of garbage. We need to leave the ghetto behind. It's a horrible place, full of self-loathing, and I'm not going to act as if the closet-ghetto is some paradise of 'queer' expression. That's bullshit. The whole objective of fighting for equality is to see yourself as a worthy and worthwhile human being who is not a superficial negative stereotype. I'm not going to embrace those stereotypes just because some self-hating person thinks that healthy, functional behavior is antithetical to 'being queer'. That's bullshit.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||02/24/2012|
you rock r19
|by Anonymous||reply 20||02/24/2012|
Oh God. Is "Matilda" a Republican performance artist? He's a "lesbian"?? Huh?? "Celebrating the repeal of DADT" makes us complicit with militarism? Oh gee whiz. What a joke.
Can someone explain how this guy is a "lesbian"? So he's a straight guy pretending to be gay??
|by Anonymous||reply 21||02/24/2012|
r19 you sound like someone with a gender disorder rather than an actual homosexual. Your model must be a frigid straight woman. It's easy to spot your type by the overuse of terms such as "closet" and the laughable projection of terms like "self-loathing onto others.
Homosexual males ARE normal people. We don't have to fit your script. We ARE normal. And part of being a normal male is loving sex and sexuality.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||02/24/2012|
|by Anonymous||reply 23||02/24/2012|
r21 lol I thought the same thing. this guy is a parody. he wants the world to HATE gays!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 24||02/24/2012|
Look, after watching that video I feel terribly confused by "Matilda" and I also feel sorry for the person. Because Matilda is the kind of person who, ten years from now, will be a far right-wing "ex-gay" activist. And we all know that's true.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||02/24/2012|
r22, you sound like a flaming fag who talks with a lisp who KNOWS that flamers are held in less regard than women in the gay community and do everything in their power to mess with the majority of normal gay men!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 26||02/24/2012|
|by Anonymous||reply 27||02/24/2012|
I agree. There is so much self-loathing in the gay community. If you want to see it in action, go the website realjock.com. That website is disgusting filled with disgusting self-loathing gay men.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||02/24/2012|
R22- your post doesn't make sense at all, frankly. Is that honestly the best rebuttal you can come up with? I suppose you feel that you're insulting me or something. Honestly, I could care less. "Queer" folks who believe as you do always resort to name-calling and personal attacks, so it doesn't surprise me. But I'm not bothered by it in the least. I know who I am. And I stand by my statements.
I will say that I never said that "homosexuals" weren't "normal", so I have no idea where you're getting that from. I very specifically said that the closet-ghetto is not a healthy, functional place for gay people.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||02/24/2012|
Whoever this Matilda thing is, she or he needs her own personal "Enough" troll to follow her around.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||02/24/2012|
R26, hysterics are effeminate.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||02/24/2012|
R26...your parody post is pointless. No one here attacked "Matilda" for having a "lisp". But I get it...you think people disagree with him because he's "flaming". You're completely wrong. His ideas are antiquated and exhibit self loathing and denial. That's why people disagree with him.
And in case you hadn't noticed he doesn't identify as "gay"...he's a "lesbian". ???
|by Anonymous||reply 32||02/24/2012|
Well, you cared enough to write all that, R29.
|by Anonymous||reply 33||02/24/2012|
"He" is disgusting!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 34||02/24/2012|
r33 don't you need to shave your legs?
|by Anonymous||reply 35||02/24/2012|
R33= future right wing "ex-gay".
|by Anonymous||reply 36||02/24/2012|
Maybe I'll just track your IP address, R35 and I'll come to your house and I will ask you if I need to in person. Then I'll beat your ass on your front lawn. See ya in a few...
|by Anonymous||reply 37||02/24/2012|
The effeminate part of it is confusing people. It's a contradiction. Usually the effeminate ones are the ones arguing for restrictions on male sexuality. They are the typical DLers who get upset with threads about sex and call other people "self-loathing" and other pathetic propaganda.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||02/24/2012|
R36, lol, are you kidding? I'm flaming. And, this flamer could take any masculine "straight-acting" douche bag any day.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||02/24/2012|
I've lost track... which side are you on r39?
|by Anonymous||reply 40||02/24/2012|
R38, ironically, you're the only talking about it so far in this thread.
But, honestly, I agree with your statement. I would take a WEHO twink over some image obsessed "straight-acting" gay guy any day.
Have a good night.
|by Anonymous||reply 41||02/24/2012|
R40, I think I'm on your side. But, I stand up for effeminate gay guys who get attacked with homophobia. I am not effeminate myself, but I stick up for gay guys who are. And, I would never mess with an effeminate gay guy, they can really beat ass. I have seen it. I love seeing a straight guy get his ass beat down by a "flamer".
|by Anonymous||reply 42||02/24/2012|
There is nothing wrong with being effeminate, but it is rather unhealthy and unwise to engage in public sex and indiscriminate promiscuous sex.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||02/24/2012|
Faggots love Faggotry!!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 44||02/24/2012|
[quote]But, honestly, I agree with your statement. I would take a WEHO twink over some image obsessed "straight-acting" gay guy any day.
take for what? A date?
|by Anonymous||reply 45||02/24/2012|
r43 is the typical DL sex-hater effeminate. Trashes everything that's naturally male while elevating that which is not.
|by Anonymous||reply 46||02/24/2012|
"Straight-acting" is a term used mostly by the effeminacy promoters. It's an attempt to link "straight" with acting like a male and "gay" with acting like a female.
|by Anonymous||reply 47||02/24/2012|
Sure, a date, R45. Haha. I could only be so lucky.
Thanks for the compliment, R46. Real men use the word, "Naturally" too. Good for you.
|by Anonymous||reply 48||02/24/2012|
r42 is a delusional flamer who is saying they are masculine for the effimnites agenda!! r43 is chris crocker!!
|by Anonymous||reply 49||02/24/2012|
Faggots? Queers? It's not 1981 in the Castro. THose words are not embraced by most modern bisexual and gay guys, and don't be surprised if you get punched calling us that.
|by Anonymous||reply 50||02/24/2012|
|by Anonymous||reply 51||02/24/2012|
some deserve to be called that specially the femmes
|by Anonymous||reply 52||02/24/2012|
what is wrong with realjock.com?
|by Anonymous||reply 53||02/24/2012|
That's actually a great new term. Effeminites! It reminds me of Isrealites.
|by Anonymous||reply 54||02/24/2012|
Being a gay man does not mean you have to act like a caricature of a woman! Most women can't stand flamers because they know they are being ridiculed!!!!! BE A FUCKING MAN WHO HAPPENS TO LIKE OTHER MEN SEXUALLY AND FOR RELATIONSHIPS
|by Anonymous||reply 55||02/24/2012|
|by Anonymous||reply 56||02/24/2012|
Why can't it just be about choices?
If I say "all queers should reject all traces of heteronormativity -- no long term coupled relationships, no children, no marriages, no suburban houses - you're QUEER, you should be a marginalized creative funky urban free-spirited sex-positive QUEER!" ---- that's bullshit, I am limiting your choices.
And if I say "all gay men should reject the gay/queer ghetto -- leave behind that shallow urban gay culture and grow up, settle down, find that lifetime love bond and get a nice house together" -- that's bullshit too.
Statistically there are millions of us in the US alone. Surely there's room enough for all kind of life choices.
|by Anonymous||reply 57||02/24/2012|
I love you, R12/R19.
R22, I don't know what you're talking about, but then, neither do you, so I guess we're even.
This is the sort of in-fighting that always goes on among members of a minority group. Someone decides they know who is authentic in the group and who isn't.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||02/24/2012|
R19, so ... you're piling on gay people who have been abused and oppressed in ways you clearly haven't (or who aren't as strong as you)... how is THAT helpful?
You drip with distain towards gay people who aren't like you... how is that different than what they do to you?
|by Anonymous||reply 59||02/24/2012|
r59 you sound just like kim Kardashian
|by Anonymous||reply 60||02/24/2012|
Oh, please, R60, as if Kim Kardashian could be that articulate. R59 doesn't sound like a shallow whore, raised by a famewhore.
|by Anonymous||reply 61||02/24/2012|
r62 stop acting like and defending fake faggots with a lisp
|by Anonymous||reply 62||02/24/2012|
[quote]you're piling on gay people who have been abused and oppressed in ways you clearly haven't (or who aren't as strong as you)... how is THAT helpful?
He isn't piling on. He's saying that if you were victimized, you don't help by continuing the victimization yourself after the bullies are gone, and that 'gay' isn't defined by disfunction. He's actually giving people the respect of saying that they are in charge of their own self-image.
Stop telling fucked-up people that it's okay to stay fucked up. If you fall in a hole, it might not be your fault you fell, but it's your responsibility to get out.
|by Anonymous||reply 63||02/24/2012|
Sometimes L Chat feels like a study in the lesbian version of this.
According to L Chat mentality:
If a girl's butch she's ugly and if you think she's hot you either make a case for her being femme or use a euphemism for butch.
If a you're not looking for a monogamous girlfriend you're a slut.
What will the straight people think? You're making us look bad.
|by Anonymous||reply 64||02/24/2012|
R63? Your ignorance and lack of compassion is stunning.
It's like saying "Stop telling quadrapelics it's okay to not walk!"
Some damage cannot be so easily undone.
Some people don't have the OPPORTUNITIES to undo the damage.
So yeah, he's just piling on... ever more criticism that these people aren'd "doing it right" after a life time of being told how "wrong" they were.
Dear god, listen to yourself and THINK for two seconds.
|by Anonymous||reply 65||02/24/2012|
|by Anonymous||reply 66||02/24/2012|
[quote]Honestly, I could care less.
|by Anonymous||reply 67||02/24/2012|
Now now, let him care at the level he chooses.
|by Anonymous||reply 68||02/24/2012|
[quote]Your ignorance and lack of compassion is stunning
Yes, I'm sure everyone you disagree with is 'ignorant.'
[quote]listen to yourself and THINK for two seconds
And, again, anyone who disagrees with you just isn't thinking.
Spare me the bullshit about the 'disempowered.' R12/19 was addressing the comments of an presumably educated adult who has full access to media, someone who is insisting that every gay must follow HIS definition of how to be gay, and about what it means to be gay. R12 objects to that insistence and so do I. You, on the other hand, are enabling disfunction. I think allowing such twisted thinking to go unchallenged displays a huge lack of compassion, towards the thinker and his targets, not to mention being rather condescending.
See, I really did THINK about it.
|by Anonymous||reply 69||02/24/2012|
If you think berating and shaming people (which is what made them the way they are to begin with) is the path to the result you want... well, clearly you didn't THINK enough.
|by Anonymous||reply 70||02/24/2012|
[quote]Now now, let him care at the level he chooses.
Best snark of the day. Hilarious!
|by Anonymous||reply 71||02/24/2012|
[quote]If you think berating and shaming people (which is what made them the way they are to begin with) is the path to the result you want...
We'll have to agree to disagree, since I saw nothing 'berating' or 'shaming' in what R12 wrote, but how exactly would you describe Sycamore's comments if not 'berating?' And you don't think calling people 'faggots' has a large element of shaming? Sounds like you have two sets of standards, one for those you agree with, and another for those you disagree with.
See, once again, I did THINK about it.
|by Anonymous||reply 72||02/24/2012|
Mattilda wants society to bow down and cater to his ridiculous lifestyle. Go fuck yourself, you confused twat!
|by Anonymous||reply 73||02/24/2012|
Quite the opposite. I'm applying the same standards. One side isn't better than the other when putting down the other side.
You're the one that seems to have double standards.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||02/24/2012|
"What will the straight people think? You're making us look bad."
Dead on. Have never understood this mentality. Trying to impress variations of those Million Moms and Dads groups, trying to make sure they know we are "normal". Can be "tolerated" like we're some deviation by nature.
In this respect, I miss the rogue mentality of the past. Not dysfunction, just the unique visions (that translated into lots of art and writing and philosophy, to boot). I'm trying to think if conformity has ever been this widespread a goal in my lifetime (post high school, anyway).
|by Anonymous||reply 75||02/24/2012|
[quote]You're the one that seems to have double standards
Oh well, I guess we're at an impasse.
Still beats another Anderson Cooper thread.
|by Anonymous||reply 76||02/24/2012|
Sycamore is a hideous bouquet of hypocrisy.
He's a gay men who still has his penis, yet pretentiously calls himself "her" and "she."
He pretends to loathe corporatism, yet brags about his "radical" book going into its second printing, and is a relentless self-promoter. His book is also for sale on the hugest corporate website on earth, Amazon.com.
He feigns to detest wealth, yet he went to Harvard, one of the most expensive colleges in the U.S.
He eschews conformity, yet his fey costumes are always the same uniform of "queer faggotry."
He titles his anthology with a double use of a derogatory term, yet the book itself is a mediocre collection of essays by identity politics-ridden pedantic fops whose basic themes are about not getting laid.
He's a perfect lapdog for straight liberals to praise so they can get 'cool' cred for fawning over 'radical' 'queers.'
Nobody in their right mind is "Afraid" of these "Faggots," they're just bored by them.
In other words, he's just another sellout.
|by Anonymous||reply 77||02/24/2012|
I was kind of wondering what sort of thread would wake up people who don't usually post.
Now we know.
|by Anonymous||reply 78||02/24/2012|
WTF!!! This Matilda is the strangest lesbian I've ever seen!
|by Anonymous||reply 79||02/24/2012|
I believe so called gay ghettos are still necessary for the unfortunate ones who don't have any other support system at hand when they come out or are outed and then shunned by their friends and families.
I think what Mattilda is hinting at is that some members of the gay community throw "live and let live" overboard and tell other members of the gay community how to live their lives. There's nothing wrong about wanting a longterm relationship with kids and picket fence when you really want it for yourself and not so others may like (or not judge) you.
We as a community should embrace our individual strenghts and weaknesses instead of using them as an excuse to separate us from each other.
|by Anonymous||reply 80||02/24/2012|
He's wrong. Period.
|by Anonymous||reply 81||02/25/2012|
I miss cruise bars... Now, you go to a bar and the next thing you know some dreary couple is sitting next to you talking about some new sofa or European clothes washer they're acquiring. They put on such a "we're a happy assimilated couple" front, when you can tell that underneath they can barely stand each other. And the younger guys - wow, they're unbelievably awful these days, aren't they? Just some sort of third sex - obsessed with reality TV stars. It is bizarre and completely disturbing.
|by Anonymous||reply 82||02/25/2012|
This Mattilda person is ridiculous.
|by Anonymous||reply 83||02/25/2012|
She might be ridiculous, but she got people talking (about how ridiculous she is).
|by Anonymous||reply 84||02/25/2012|
He's a narcissistic poseur.
|by Anonymous||reply 85||02/25/2012|
"This allowed for me to talk about how awful I feel, to talk about fibromyalgia and chronic pain and exhaustion..."
So tender to the touch!
|by Anonymous||reply 86||02/25/2012|
|by Anonymous||reply 87||02/25/2012|
Luke Sissyfag called, he wants his puerile and desperate attention-getting shtick back.
Thanks ever so.
|by Anonymous||reply 88||02/25/2012|
Someone's always yelling at the gays, telling them they're wrong, no matter what.
If you're a gay man, you can NEVER catch a break. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
|by Anonymous||reply 89||02/25/2012|
r89 your post makes no sense. Are you a Mattilda Sycamore fan?
|by Anonymous||reply 90||02/25/2012|
My post makes perfect sense, r90, and no I'm not a fan. This is the first time I've ever heard of her and she seems really hacky.
My point should be clear: Gay people are always criticized no matter what they do. Gay people are conceptualized as a social problem, a social subject whose actions and choices have far-reaching and usually deleterious consequences beyond just an individual living a life. This criticism comes from every side, from every direction, no matter what. What's not clear?
|by Anonymous||reply 91||02/25/2012|
How about eschewing gay identity and other group identities? I am an individual. I don't care what other people who share my race, age, sex, sexual orientation do. I do me. You do you. Your sexual orientation should not determine what sports you like, clothes you wear, friends you have. I dont listen to notions of what people with my sexual orientation do. It's not me, so who cares? Do you, dude.
|by Anonymous||reply 92||02/25/2012|
What R89 said.
|by Anonymous||reply 93||02/25/2012|
So Mattilda is a "lesbian" and self-references using female pronouns?
|by Anonymous||reply 94||02/25/2012|
^ Oh, never mind ... she's "genderqueer."
|by Anonymous||reply 95||02/25/2012|
How old is she? Her ideas don't seem all that fresh. Stonewall gays were saying all that years ago and we said a lot of this in Queer Nation in the early 90s.
|by Anonymous||reply 96||02/25/2012|
"some members of the gay community throw "live and let live" overboard and tell other members of the gay community how to live their lives."
...which is exactly what Sycamore's doing.
"How old is she? "
34 going on 12.
|by Anonymous||reply 97||02/25/2012|
You're right, R89.
|by Anonymous||reply 98||02/25/2012|
I want to marry, R89. Or co-habitat with him in a polyamorous squatters' sex-dungeon.
Whatever you prefer, boo.
|by Anonymous||reply 99||02/25/2012|
r77 nails it!!
|by Anonymous||reply 100||02/25/2012|
Mattilda needs to clearly state her boundaries!
|by Anonymous||reply 101||02/25/2012|
there are faggots and there are fags!
|by Anonymous||reply 102||02/25/2012|
|by Anonymous||reply 103||02/26/2012|
fuck this flamer fag in the ass!
|by Anonymous||reply 104||02/26/2012|
"fuck this flamer fag in the ass!"
For $150, you can!
|by Anonymous||reply 105||02/26/2012|
(oh, and who's stalking who, c the dyke?)
|by Anonymous||reply 106||02/26/2012|
|by Anonymous||reply 107||02/27/2012|
R89 is awesome.
|by Anonymous||reply 108||03/16/2012|
no r89 is a whiner.
|by Anonymous||reply 109||03/17/2012|
R77 is exactly right.
As is the person calling "Matilda" out for stealing "Luke Sissyfag"s schtick. Didn't Luke end up becoming a right-wing "ex-gay"? I'm giving "Matilda" a year before he ends up there too.
This is tiresome nonsense. Talk about a minstrel show! "Amos and Andy" was less of one.
|by Anonymous||reply 110||03/17/2012|
|by Anonymous||reply 111||03/17/2012|
Her last name is Sycamore?
|by Anonymous||reply 112||03/17/2012|
His last name should be Tunes. As in "Looney Tunes." He's making a joke of gay rights...it's a parody, intentional or otherwise. But his intention is clearly just to promote himself. What infuriates me is that he's mocking transgendered people, and they have enough shit to deal with.
And BTW...if he's male and says he's a "lesbian", doesn't that mean he's a straight guy?! Which explains everything as far as I'm concerned.
|by Anonymous||reply 113||03/17/2012|