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Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore asks: "Why Are Faggots So Afraid of Faggots?"

"Gay culture has become obsessed with normalcy at any cost. There's so much denigration of anything that doesn't fit into the sort of white picket fence "We're just like you" message of the gay movement or the hypermasculine extreme consumerism and throwaway mentality of gay cruising. Camouflaged underneath all that is this really intense fear of anything that doesn't fit in, whether that be femininity or flamboyance or freakishness or an outsider sexuality or promiscuity or public sex, even just intimacy and love outside of dominant norms. And so I wanted to investigate where that fear between fags is coming from. How do we explore that, talk about it in all of its layers and contradictions, and how do we try to imagine something else?"

by Anonymousreply 11303/17/2012

Exhibit A:

Colton from Survivor.

Even the gays want to beat him up and stuff him in a locker.

by Anonymousreply 102/24/2012

Assimilation and self loathing are killing the gay community from inside.

by Anonymousreply 202/24/2012

[quote]Assimilation and self loathing are killing the gay community from inside.

The problem isn't gays who want a long time partner and kids. The problem is lack of tolerance towards gays who are "different". The problem is accepting that gays come in all shapes, colors and styles just like straights. Gays are first of all INDIVIDUALS, not just a community.

by Anonymousreply 302/24/2012

Sycamore is a hipster poseur who wears too-tight retro sweater vests. He used to be a whore, literally.

SF Weekly, which was successfully sued by the SF Bay Guardian for ad sales price-gouging, is a national chain whose SF editors love to feature anti-gay gays, drug addict whores and criminals.

Sycamore's failed PR front Gay Shame's "accomplishments" were attacking then-Mayor Gavin Newsom in person for his stand for marriage equally.

Sycamore's blathering pseudo-intellectual stance's basic subtext is, "I'm bitter because I can't get laid since I'm a freak."

How 'radical.'

by Anonymousreply 402/24/2012

I think if they replaced "afraid" with "annoyed by" it may have some legitamacy. Of course this could be true of any minority or sub group, so who really cares anyway

by Anonymousreply 502/24/2012

Who the fuck is Mattilda "Jew" Bernstein?

by Anonymousreply 602/24/2012

She should shut her trap.

by Anonymousreply 702/24/2012

Good [Deity Explicative], what a fucking pretentious asshole.

by Anonymousreply 802/24/2012

I agree completely -- and the same is true of lesbians. Try being a butch lesbian sometime. If lesbians think a butch lesbian is hot, they automatically rebrand her as a femme. God forbid they should lust after a hot butch girl!!

I feel the same way about gay marriage, gay adoption, and gays in the military, and I have for years. Don't get me wrong -- if you want to do these things, fine -- but why is our main goal to be just like straight people??? This isn't the gay pride I marched for back in the day. This trend really skeeves me out.

But pretty soon my stalker will come up from the basement she lives in and jump my ass, so I better shut up now.

by Anonymousreply 902/24/2012

[quote]If lesbians think a butch lesbian is hot, they automatically rebrand her as a femme.

Kind of like cattle.

by Anonymousreply 1002/24/2012

Cheryl, hon, I used to work in market research. But thanks for playing.

by Anonymousreply 1102/24/2012

It's all ridiculous bullshit by "queer" activists who think that gay ghetto life is superior to equal rights and full acceptance. I get really tired of these losers attacking gay people who are trying to put the gloryhole closet-case ghetto behind us. They think that being gay means eschewing all functional behavior that accepts boundaries and isn't rooted in self loathing. They want us to embrace every negative anti-gay stereotype and fulfill those stereotypes as if they're healthy and functional. Sorry, but NO. It's time to leave the closet behind, and with it all the dysfunctional bullshit that came from it.

by Anonymousreply 1202/24/2012

Getting my broom out for all the sweeping statements.........

by Anonymousreply 1302/24/2012

Agreed, R12. This blather-filled bitch deserves to be shunned.

by Anonymousreply 1402/24/2012

Bernstein is a fag hag who is upset that more and more gay men are not flaming priss pots.

by Anonymousreply 1502/24/2012

R12 and R12 talk shit about all "those" gays with their boring straight and boring gay friends.

by Anonymousreply 1602/24/2012

Mattilda challenges Dan Choi's militarism

by Anonymousreply 1702/24/2012

My God! this queen is beyond repulsive. he makes bobby trendy look normal!!! talk about gay voice!!!

by Anonymousreply 1802/24/2012

R16, you're BORING.

I don't talk about "those gays" with anyone. If I did I would say that I felt sorry for people who had so deeply internalized their own oppression, that they'd come to believe that it was preferable to being treated with equality. That they had so bought into every anti-gay stereotype that they brandished their self-loathing dysfunctional behavior as if it were a flag of freedom. Instead of what it truly is; capitulation to homophobia and anti-gay stereotyping.

I'm not a "faggot", I'm an out and proud gay human being. I'm not going to treat myself as a piece of garbage. We need to leave the ghetto behind. It's a horrible place, full of self-loathing, and I'm not going to act as if the closet-ghetto is some paradise of 'queer' expression. That's bullshit. The whole objective of fighting for equality is to see yourself as a worthy and worthwhile human being who is not a superficial negative stereotype. I'm not going to embrace those stereotypes just because some self-hating person thinks that healthy, functional behavior is antithetical to 'being queer'. That's bullshit.

by Anonymousreply 1902/24/2012

you rock r19

by Anonymousreply 2002/24/2012

Oh God. Is "Matilda" a Republican performance artist? He's a "lesbian"?? Huh?? "Celebrating the repeal of DADT" makes us complicit with militarism? Oh gee whiz. What a joke.

Can someone explain how this guy is a "lesbian"? So he's a straight guy pretending to be gay??

by Anonymousreply 2102/24/2012

r19 you sound like someone with a gender disorder rather than an actual homosexual. Your model must be a frigid straight woman. It's easy to spot your type by the overuse of terms such as "closet" and the laughable projection of terms like "self-loathing onto others.

Homosexual males ARE normal people. We don't have to fit your script. We ARE normal. And part of being a normal male is loving sex and sexuality.

by Anonymousreply 2202/24/2012

Thanks R20.

by Anonymousreply 2302/24/2012

r21 lol I thought the same thing. this guy is a parody. he wants the world to HATE gays!!!

by Anonymousreply 2402/24/2012

Look, after watching that video I feel terribly confused by "Matilda" and I also feel sorry for the person. Because Matilda is the kind of person who, ten years from now, will be a far right-wing "ex-gay" activist. And we all know that's true.

by Anonymousreply 2502/24/2012

r22, you sound like a flaming fag who talks with a lisp who KNOWS that flamers are held in less regard than women in the gay community and do everything in their power to mess with the majority of normal gay men!!!

by Anonymousreply 2602/24/2012

lol r25

by Anonymousreply 2702/24/2012

I agree. There is so much self-loathing in the gay community. If you want to see it in action, go the website That website is disgusting filled with disgusting self-loathing gay men.

by Anonymousreply 2802/24/2012

R22- your post doesn't make sense at all, frankly. Is that honestly the best rebuttal you can come up with? I suppose you feel that you're insulting me or something. Honestly, I could care less. "Queer" folks who believe as you do always resort to name-calling and personal attacks, so it doesn't surprise me. But I'm not bothered by it in the least. I know who I am. And I stand by my statements.

I will say that I never said that "homosexuals" weren't "normal", so I have no idea where you're getting that from. I very specifically said that the closet-ghetto is not a healthy, functional place for gay people.

by Anonymousreply 2902/24/2012

Whoever this Matilda thing is, she or he needs her own personal "Enough" troll to follow her around.

by Anonymousreply 3002/24/2012

R26, hysterics are effeminate.

by Anonymousreply 3102/24/2012

R26...your parody post is pointless. No one here attacked "Matilda" for having a "lisp". But I get think people disagree with him because he's "flaming". You're completely wrong. His ideas are antiquated and exhibit self loathing and denial. That's why people disagree with him.

And in case you hadn't noticed he doesn't identify as "gay"...he's a "lesbian". ???

by Anonymousreply 3202/24/2012

Well, you cared enough to write all that, R29.

by Anonymousreply 3302/24/2012

"He" is disgusting!!!

by Anonymousreply 3402/24/2012

r33 don't you need to shave your legs?

by Anonymousreply 3502/24/2012

R33= future right wing "ex-gay".

by Anonymousreply 3602/24/2012

Maybe I'll just track your IP address, R35 and I'll come to your house and I will ask you if I need to in person. Then I'll beat your ass on your front lawn. See ya in a few...

by Anonymousreply 3702/24/2012

The effeminate part of it is confusing people. It's a contradiction. Usually the effeminate ones are the ones arguing for restrictions on male sexuality. They are the typical DLers who get upset with threads about sex and call other people "self-loathing" and other pathetic propaganda.

by Anonymousreply 3802/24/2012

R36, lol, are you kidding? I'm flaming. And, this flamer could take any masculine "straight-acting" douche bag any day.

by Anonymousreply 3902/24/2012

I've lost track... which side are you on r39?

by Anonymousreply 4002/24/2012

R38, ironically, you're the only talking about it so far in this thread.

But, honestly, I agree with your statement. I would take a WEHO twink over some image obsessed "straight-acting" gay guy any day.

Have a good night.

by Anonymousreply 4102/24/2012

R40, I think I'm on your side. But, I stand up for effeminate gay guys who get attacked with homophobia. I am not effeminate myself, but I stick up for gay guys who are. And, I would never mess with an effeminate gay guy, they can really beat ass. I have seen it. I love seeing a straight guy get his ass beat down by a "flamer".

by Anonymousreply 4202/24/2012

There is nothing wrong with being effeminate, but it is rather unhealthy and unwise to engage in public sex and indiscriminate promiscuous sex.

by Anonymousreply 4302/24/2012

Faggots love Faggotry!!!!

by Anonymousreply 4402/24/2012

[quote]But, honestly, I agree with your statement. I would take a WEHO twink over some image obsessed "straight-acting" gay guy any day.

take for what? A date?

by Anonymousreply 4502/24/2012

r43 is the typical DL sex-hater effeminate. Trashes everything that's naturally male while elevating that which is not.

by Anonymousreply 4602/24/2012

"Straight-acting" is a term used mostly by the effeminacy promoters. It's an attempt to link "straight" with acting like a male and "gay" with acting like a female.

by Anonymousreply 4702/24/2012

Sure, a date, R45. Haha. I could only be so lucky.

Thanks for the compliment, R46. Real men use the word, "Naturally" too. Good for you.

by Anonymousreply 4802/24/2012

r42 is a delusional flamer who is saying they are masculine for the effimnites agenda!! r43 is chris crocker!!

by Anonymousreply 4902/24/2012

Faggots? Queers? It's not 1981 in the Castro. THose words are not embraced by most modern bisexual and gay guys, and don't be surprised if you get punched calling us that.

by Anonymousreply 5002/24/2012

[quote] effimnites

Oh, dear.

by Anonymousreply 5102/24/2012

some deserve to be called that specially the femmes

by Anonymousreply 5202/24/2012

what is wrong with

by Anonymousreply 5302/24/2012

[quote]Oh, dear.

That's actually a great new term. Effeminites! It reminds me of Isrealites.

by Anonymousreply 5402/24/2012

Being a gay man does not mean you have to act like a caricature of a woman! Most women can't stand flamers because they know they are being ridiculed!!!!! BE A FUCKING MAN WHO HAPPENS TO LIKE OTHER MEN SEXUALLY AND FOR RELATIONSHIPS

by Anonymousreply 5502/24/2012

[quote] Isrealites.

Oy, dear.

by Anonymousreply 5602/24/2012

Why can't it just be about choices?

If I say "all queers should reject all traces of heteronormativity -- no long term coupled relationships, no children, no marriages, no suburban houses - you're QUEER, you should be a marginalized creative funky urban free-spirited sex-positive QUEER!" ---- that's bullshit, I am limiting your choices.

And if I say "all gay men should reject the gay/queer ghetto -- leave behind that shallow urban gay culture and grow up, settle down, find that lifetime love bond and get a nice house together" -- that's bullshit too.

Statistically there are millions of us in the US alone. Surely there's room enough for all kind of life choices.

by Anonymousreply 5702/24/2012

I love you, R12/R19.

R22, I don't know what you're talking about, but then, neither do you, so I guess we're even.

This is the sort of in-fighting that always goes on among members of a minority group. Someone decides they know who is authentic in the group and who isn't.

by Anonymousreply 5802/24/2012

R19, so ... you're piling on gay people who have been abused and oppressed in ways you clearly haven't (or who aren't as strong as you)... how is THAT helpful?

You drip with distain towards gay people who aren't like you... how is that different than what they do to you?

I'm confused.

by Anonymousreply 5902/24/2012

r59 you sound just like kim Kardashian

by Anonymousreply 6002/24/2012

Oh, please, R60, as if Kim Kardashian could be that articulate. R59 doesn't sound like a shallow whore, raised by a famewhore.

by Anonymousreply 6102/24/2012

r62 stop acting like and defending fake faggots with a lisp

by Anonymousreply 6202/24/2012

[quote]you're piling on gay people who have been abused and oppressed in ways you clearly haven't (or who aren't as strong as you)... how is THAT helpful?

He isn't piling on. He's saying that if you were victimized, you don't help by continuing the victimization yourself after the bullies are gone, and that 'gay' isn't defined by disfunction. He's actually giving people the respect of saying that they are in charge of their own self-image.

Stop telling fucked-up people that it's okay to stay fucked up. If you fall in a hole, it might not be your fault you fell, but it's your responsibility to get out.

by Anonymousreply 6302/24/2012

Sometimes L Chat feels like a study in the lesbian version of this.

According to L Chat mentality:

If a girl's butch she's ugly and if you think she's hot you either make a case for her being femme or use a euphemism for butch.

If a you're not looking for a monogamous girlfriend you're a slut.

What will the straight people think? You're making us look bad.

by Anonymousreply 6402/24/2012

R63? Your ignorance and lack of compassion is stunning.

It's like saying "Stop telling quadrapelics it's okay to not walk!"

Some damage cannot be so easily undone.

Some people don't have the OPPORTUNITIES to undo the damage.

So yeah, he's just piling on... ever more criticism that these people aren'd "doing it right" after a life time of being told how "wrong" they were.

Dear god, listen to yourself and THINK for two seconds.

by Anonymousreply 6502/24/2012

* quadriplegic

by Anonymousreply 6602/24/2012

[quote]Honestly, I could care less.

Oh dear.

by Anonymousreply 6702/24/2012

Now now, let him care at the level he chooses.

by Anonymousreply 6802/24/2012

[quote]Your ignorance and lack of compassion is stunning

Yes, I'm sure everyone you disagree with is 'ignorant.'

[quote]listen to yourself and THINK for two seconds

And, again, anyone who disagrees with you just isn't thinking.

Spare me the bullshit about the 'disempowered.' R12/19 was addressing the comments of an presumably educated adult who has full access to media, someone who is insisting that every gay must follow HIS definition of how to be gay, and about what it means to be gay. R12 objects to that insistence and so do I. You, on the other hand, are enabling disfunction. I think allowing such twisted thinking to go unchallenged displays a huge lack of compassion, towards the thinker and his targets, not to mention being rather condescending.

See, I really did THINK about it.

by Anonymousreply 6902/24/2012

If you think berating and shaming people (which is what made them the way they are to begin with) is the path to the result you want... well, clearly you didn't THINK enough.

by Anonymousreply 7002/24/2012

[quote]Now now, let him care at the level he chooses.

Best snark of the day. Hilarious!

by Anonymousreply 7102/24/2012

[quote]If you think berating and shaming people (which is what made them the way they are to begin with) is the path to the result you want...

We'll have to agree to disagree, since I saw nothing 'berating' or 'shaming' in what R12 wrote, but how exactly would you describe Sycamore's comments if not 'berating?' And you don't think calling people 'faggots' has a large element of shaming? Sounds like you have two sets of standards, one for those you agree with, and another for those you disagree with.

See, once again, I did THINK about it.

by Anonymousreply 7202/24/2012

Mattilda wants society to bow down and cater to his ridiculous lifestyle. Go fuck yourself, you confused twat!

by Anonymousreply 7302/24/2012

Quite the opposite. I'm applying the same standards. One side isn't better than the other when putting down the other side.

You're the one that seems to have double standards.

by Anonymousreply 7402/24/2012

"What will the straight people think? You're making us look bad."

Dead on. Have never understood this mentality. Trying to impress variations of those Million Moms and Dads groups, trying to make sure they know we are "normal". Can be "tolerated" like we're some deviation by nature.

In this respect, I miss the rogue mentality of the past. Not dysfunction, just the unique visions (that translated into lots of art and writing and philosophy, to boot). I'm trying to think if conformity has ever been this widespread a goal in my lifetime (post high school, anyway).

by Anonymousreply 7502/24/2012

[quote]You're the one that seems to have double standards

Oh well, I guess we're at an impasse.

Still beats another Anderson Cooper thread.

by Anonymousreply 7602/24/2012

Sycamore is a hideous bouquet of hypocrisy.

He's a gay men who still has his penis, yet pretentiously calls himself "her" and "she."

He pretends to loathe corporatism, yet brags about his "radical" book going into its second printing, and is a relentless self-promoter. His book is also for sale on the hugest corporate website on earth,

He feigns to detest wealth, yet he went to Harvard, one of the most expensive colleges in the U.S.

He eschews conformity, yet his fey costumes are always the same uniform of "queer faggotry."

He titles his anthology with a double use of a derogatory term, yet the book itself is a mediocre collection of essays by identity politics-ridden pedantic fops whose basic themes are about not getting laid.

He's a perfect lapdog for straight liberals to praise so they can get 'cool' cred for fawning over 'radical' 'queers.'

Nobody in their right mind is "Afraid" of these "Faggots," they're just bored by them.

In other words, he's just another sellout.

by Anonymousreply 7702/24/2012

I was kind of wondering what sort of thread would wake up people who don't usually post.

Now we know.

by Anonymousreply 7802/24/2012

WTF!!! This Matilda is the strangest lesbian I've ever seen!

by Anonymousreply 7902/24/2012

I believe so called gay ghettos are still necessary for the unfortunate ones who don't have any other support system at hand when they come out or are outed and then shunned by their friends and families.

I think what Mattilda is hinting at is that some members of the gay community throw "live and let live" overboard and tell other members of the gay community how to live their lives. There's nothing wrong about wanting a longterm relationship with kids and picket fence when you really want it for yourself and not so others may like (or not judge) you.

We as a community should embrace our individual strenghts and weaknesses instead of using them as an excuse to separate us from each other.

by Anonymousreply 8002/25/2012

He's wrong. Period.

by Anonymousreply 8102/25/2012

I miss cruise bars... Now, you go to a bar and the next thing you know some dreary couple is sitting next to you talking about some new sofa or European clothes washer they're acquiring. They put on such a "we're a happy assimilated couple" front, when you can tell that underneath they can barely stand each other. And the younger guys - wow, they're unbelievably awful these days, aren't they? Just some sort of third sex - obsessed with reality TV stars. It is bizarre and completely disturbing.

by Anonymousreply 8202/25/2012

This Mattilda person is ridiculous.

by Anonymousreply 8302/25/2012

She might be ridiculous, but she got people talking (about how ridiculous she is).

by Anonymousreply 8402/25/2012

He's a narcissistic poseur.

by Anonymousreply 8502/25/2012

"This allowed for me to talk about how awful I feel, to talk about fibromyalgia and chronic pain and exhaustion..."

So tender to the touch!

by Anonymousreply 8602/25/2012

Good lord.

by Anonymousreply 8702/25/2012

Dear Mattilda,

Luke Sissyfag called, he wants his puerile and desperate attention-getting shtick back.

Thanks ever so.

by Anonymousreply 8802/25/2012

Someone's always yelling at the gays, telling them they're wrong, no matter what.

If you're a gay man, you can NEVER catch a break. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

by Anonymousreply 8902/25/2012

r89 your post makes no sense. Are you a Mattilda Sycamore fan?

by Anonymousreply 9002/25/2012

My post makes perfect sense, r90, and no I'm not a fan. This is the first time I've ever heard of her and she seems really hacky.

My point should be clear: Gay people are always criticized no matter what they do. Gay people are conceptualized as a social problem, a social subject whose actions and choices have far-reaching and usually deleterious consequences beyond just an individual living a life. This criticism comes from every side, from every direction, no matter what. What's not clear?

by Anonymousreply 9102/25/2012

How about eschewing gay identity and other group identities? I am an individual. I don't care what other people who share my race, age, sex, sexual orientation do. I do me. You do you. Your sexual orientation should not determine what sports you like, clothes you wear, friends you have. I dont listen to notions of what people with my sexual orientation do. It's not me, so who cares? Do you, dude.

by Anonymousreply 9202/25/2012

What R89 said.

by Anonymousreply 9302/25/2012

So Mattilda is a "lesbian" and self-references using female pronouns?

by Anonymousreply 9402/25/2012

^ Oh, never mind ... she's "genderqueer."

by Anonymousreply 9502/25/2012

How old is she? Her ideas don't seem all that fresh. Stonewall gays were saying all that years ago and we said a lot of this in Queer Nation in the early 90s.

by Anonymousreply 9602/25/2012

"some members of the gay community throw "live and let live" overboard and tell other members of the gay community how to live their lives."

...which is exactly what Sycamore's doing.

"How old is she? "

34 going on 12.

by Anonymousreply 9702/25/2012

You're right, R89.

by Anonymousreply 9802/25/2012

I want to marry, R89. Or co-habitat with him in a polyamorous squatters' sex-dungeon.

Whatever you prefer, boo.

by Anonymousreply 9902/25/2012

r77 nails it!!

by Anonymousreply 10002/25/2012

Mattilda needs to clearly state her boundaries!

by Anonymousreply 10102/25/2012

there are faggots and there are fags!

by Anonymousreply 10202/25/2012

Explain, R102.

by Anonymousreply 10302/26/2012

fuck this flamer fag in the ass!

by Anonymousreply 10402/26/2012

"fuck this flamer fag in the ass!"

For $150, you can!

by Anonymousreply 10502/26/2012

(oh, and who's stalking who, c the dyke?)

by Anonymousreply 10602/26/2012


by Anonymousreply 10702/27/2012

R89 is awesome.

by Anonymousreply 10803/16/2012

no r89 is a whiner.

by Anonymousreply 10903/17/2012

R77 is exactly right.

As is the person calling "Matilda" out for stealing "Luke Sissyfag"s schtick. Didn't Luke end up becoming a right-wing "ex-gay"? I'm giving "Matilda" a year before he ends up there too.

This is tiresome nonsense. Talk about a minstrel show! "Amos and Andy" was less of one.

by Anonymousreply 11003/17/2012


by Anonymousreply 11103/17/2012

Her last name is Sycamore?

by Anonymousreply 11203/17/2012

His last name should be Tunes. As in "Looney Tunes." He's making a joke of gay's a parody, intentional or otherwise. But his intention is clearly just to promote himself. What infuriates me is that he's mocking transgendered people, and they have enough shit to deal with.

And BTW...if he's male and says he's a "lesbian", doesn't that mean he's a straight guy?! Which explains everything as far as I'm concerned.

by Anonymousreply 11303/17/2012
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